You wake up and we Russia is invading your country

You wake up and we Russia is invading your country.

How fucked up are you?

How can you defeat the invaders?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=3hFzxG6tKMc
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Russian_invasion_of_Holland
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>implying russia finds us

...

Russia would get absolutely BTFO by our advanced gorilla warfare, the only chance of defeating us would be nukes.

Here's pruf:
youtube.com/watch?v=3hFzxG6tKMc

>How fucked up are you?
very fucked if they catch me.

I don't think I'd be entirely happy.

No threat. The USA has our back, as always.

Oh no, we are screwed! I heard those Russians are mad bloodthirsty barbarians!
t. denizen of Moscow

We only have our army, druglords and maras to protect us.
The U.S., Mexico and our neighbors would obviously help us. R-right guys?

The Rus is being with no regard for life or death. The Rus does not feel pain. The Rus merely drinks, sleeps and fights. There is no humanity in this being, merely bloodlust. This is seen from the legacy of the Russians. In their politics, religion and language. The Russian resembles wildlife rather than proper humanity.

Get ready for a dick stomping, ruskies.

They would never invade us. We're buddies.

beg Amerika-kun for help

Chinese might conquer us, you guys never... just think about all the forms you'd have to fill out.

what does it take for Canada to win?

bomb-a-rail-and-they-all-die-in-the-streets-like-homeless.

>Be russian
>everything alawys goes the worst possible way it can
>keep doing things

why

You wouldn't get past the navy

Most of you fucks are too scared to even live here by your own will so why the shit would anyone decide to invade here.

>How can you defeat the invaders?
With superior Bantz

In about half an hour, we're all be fucked.
I can only pray my shitty surplus gas mask and some plexiglass inserts will protect me long enough to escape the fallout zones.

gentlemen, its a nuclear device , time is running out!
t-t-t-time is running out

Done it once before, no problem.

>Russia
not a poossr

We could probably keep them away for a while but get defeated in the long run. Then we'll use Mireille Mathieu to dissuade them.

You already are.
>gib islands back NAO

Might start summoning my fish tail and keep swimming.
Can Russian withstand the heat though?

pay 13211 trilliards

>How fucked up are you?
Пpивeт тoвapищи! Cлaвa poccию!
>How can you defeat the invaders?
Broomstickbrigade

Don't really care, just fucking nuke Berlin to dust already.

>Russia
So what. We just paddle over the Atlantic to suck some American cock until they agree to nuke down your tracksuit army and your whole shithole slav cunt.
Hahahah fucking homo.

They would have heat strokes before arriving.

>Hello Darkness my old friend....

We're literally so nice and amiable that even North Korea likes us while we're shaking hands with Americans and making oil deals with Ghaddafi.

We wouldn't be able to do shit by ourselves but good luck when the entire world comes in to help it's favourite Mediterranean resort.

direct all US military forces to form a path that allows the Russians to advance only into camden.

Then watch as the Russians speed back to their boats to escape camden.

You will be nuked too :^)

ohh, Malta, holy shit!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Russian_invasion_of_Holland

Easy peasy.

>implying they would ever agree
they aren't stupid enough to risk getting nuked for a irrelevant clay

AMEWICAA, THESE SHITHEADS ARE BULLYING ME, MOMMYY

Probably laugh and continue living as usual. Brazilian military is pretty small and weak, there wouldn't be so much destruction around town.

KÄKÄKÄKÄKÄKÄKÄKÄKÄLÄKÄLÄLÄLÄK
>army
>die in the front lines

If you invade we push you back. If we can't then the nukes get launched and we all die together.

I will finally have a reason to learn Russian I guess

So sad that we don't have any good reason to invade anyone tbqh
We already have a shitload of clay that we don't even know what to do with.

>t. that Argie cutie

We have a tactic that is referred to as "glory death"

>send norwegian troops to fight and die in the initial assault as brave soldiers standing up against mean old Russia
>harness sympathy from the rest of the world
>our allies kick Russias ass

thank dog I served my consription time already and nothing happened on my watch, although I can still be called in for the reserve forces

Fixed scenario:
>your conscripts btfo the russkies
>tracksuit-ivans fall back with a spoonful of shit in their pants

R-A-R-E

we could do it if they only sent a small force (like a world war scenario where the majority of their miliary is busy fighting other countries)

we couldn't defeat their entire military organization

reserve border ranger here

eating tree bark and making ieds is fun :D:D:D

Fuck you morons
I wouldn't fight any of you
I'd just sitting home fucking your wives while you fighting with other debils lol

>we couldn't defeat their entire military organization

Even Estonia alone could beat us single-handed, Russia is weak.

>another invasion force
Let them do their thing
few of them die of heatstroke
sooner or later they leave
we got independence again

Great Maori warriors will save us

>philippino
Literally who needs you

I break a bottle of wódka on Ivans head and watch Russians drink it together with blood from the ground.

I've read dostoievski, tolstoy puchkin, turugueniev, tchekhov and gogol, so i'm pretty sure i'll be spared

WHY WASNT HE CAST IN SUICIDE SQUAD???

>new maoris

>Maori Warriors
>Will save us from the Russians

With what, the Haka, that won't scare the Russians because they will seen scarier shit

Russia doesn't have the power projection -- we have the best navy and airforce in the world, which would make it real hard to actually get to the US... and would result in an ensuing world of hurt for you guys, excluding everyone dying in a nuclear war.
I'd hate to be in Alaska though.

>absolute madmans

>dostoievski
What his things did you read?

>читaть Дocтoeвcкoгo
>2016

What's wrong?
It's not like i'm a fan of him but he's ok.

>читaть Дocтoeвcкoгo
Brothers karamazov, the idiot, the gambler, the demons, notes from the underground, crime and punishment, teh house of the dead and white nights
i think thats it but there is probably some more short stories that i can't remember

Now China is asking why Russia is fucking with its prey. This is how WWIII unexpectedly starts.

Brothers karamazov, the idiot, the gambler, the demons, notes from the underground, crime and punishment, teh house of the dead and white nights
i think thats it but there is probably some more short stories that i can't remember

This just looks like a bunch of monkeys throwing sharp objects.

Not fucked at all.
The Russians are fucking piss poor and the guns in our civilians hands will be much more effective than their Kalashnikov.

I WOULD BE SO FUCKING HAPPY IF RUSSIA INVADED

I WILL FINALLY BE PART OF A COUNTRY THAT HAS MANY HOT WOMEN

WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG TO INVADE FFS!!!!

витaйтe))))

If you put AIDs in Ivan first, then the Russians will die.

Very fucked, if they've reached as far as Spain all hope is lost for Europe to be honest. Also it probably means we get invaded by the USA soon too.

>Your civilians like kalashnikov more than AR

wonder why Russians are using vz 58s

Yes but you will LOVE us.

We sold all kalashnikovs and bought vz 58s. Rest of money gone

Only the retard civilians.
We can literally get any gun we want where I am from. There are four gun stores within walking distance of my house. Kalashnikov is shit when you have first-world options.

Aren't the most popular civilian rifles in the USA WW2-time Mosin rifles and Chinese/Bulgarian/Romanian copies of AK?

>USA invades Spain
>suddenly Spaniards forced to speak chicano to communicate with invaders
glorious

Only because of how many of the things are available. This is starting to change, as serious gun owners move for much nicer weapons these days.

Implying that you can't buy first world options for kalashnikov.

Not without being a faggot, you can't.

>Russians

The game's storyline takes place in 1988, so they could be Czechs.

AK 74M 2013 still better than any AR 2013 for mid-range/long-hfnge combat

>Russians
>Invade Iberia.

kek. Enjoy being assaulted by guerrillas all the time. Enjoy 45º celsius in the summer. Enjoy the catholics fanatics from andalusia who would start doing the """holy war""" against you. I would like to see it.

We've been preparing for this for 70 years, you pinko bastards

Mosin rifles are popular on /k/ and pretty much unknown everywhere else in the country.

AK 74M is shit.
A-545 > any AK or other assault rifle ever been designed

Cyк пидop aк 74м пocлe 2013 гoдa этo oднa из пиздaтeйших винтoвoк нa зeмлe

The thread has now been derailed into /k/

Yeah, that's because ARs are shit. We have more options than AR, Ruskie.

Eh, they're widely available at gun shows but no one buys Mosin because they are trash. The people that do buy them do so because they are like $200. Once they shoot a Mosin and see how shitty it handles, they regret it.

A-545 is okay but look how badly it wants to be an American rifle HAHAHAHA.

What options?

We would rather get glassed to be honest

I think you mean German...

Seriously doubt that would happen, it's not the early 1800s anymore.

We gay now.

>You wake up and we Russia is invading your country.

I don't mind my dick being tortured to death by his qts

That's an SMG you fucking monkey.