I have 5 years missing on my linkedIn due to degenerative lifestyle.
I have degree in engineering.
1 year work experience then I lost it mentally and left work. Lived off buttcoin.
How do I cover this 5 years gap on linkedIn?
I went back to do a postgrad this year but do not know how to cover my ass on linkedin to make me look semi attractive. Want into IT/Software.
>basic level of java,python,C,php
>Im retarded I know.. but my mind went to shit.
Say you identify as a woman.
Just say you were on a spiritual journey of self discovery or some shit.
I could say I was a shitcoin trader for all these years but it does look fishy.
I was thinking:
>Possibly putting a startup company thats gone to the wall
>creating my own fake startup
>working on the farm at home
yeah and then spread shit all over me to make me brown right?! guaranteed jaab.
With no disrespect that sounds like I did fuck all with my life and was a bum (which I was)
Yeah, but it's the most positive way of explaining the gap that doesn't require any proof. You could say you were traveling a ton or something, but if they do any digging on social media (assuming you have a presence) and see anything to the contrary, they'll know you're lying.
Alternatively, you could say you were caring for a sick relative or something, idk.
Id go with shitcoin trader before that Id say. Thanks anyway bud.
bamp
Good that you made it lad! Self-employed is an alternative which isn't even that far-fetched if you lived off bitcoin trading. Maybe you can pretty up it a bit:
>writing own software for trading?
>maybe some plugin for a software?
>doing some analysis in excel?
something like that.
Startups also work well, especially if you say that it was a stealth startup, i.e. hard to trace back.
Say you did soul searching and traveling. That's what everyone else writes on drinking/narcotic binges
Just say you obtained experience with buttcoin trading/whatever. Isn't that the hot cool hipness these days?
It is but thats what makes it suspicious in my book. Any idiot who did jack shit will claim they are a buttcoin trader and companies will be wary of this.
Yeah, thanks for the ideas friend.
Thats what soul searching implies these days... basically either a bum or a degenerative loser.
Make up some bullshit and get friends to provide fake references
Dont want to ask them to be honest. I have reasons due to my degenerative years. If I was really desperate I will do this.
Thanks gentoos for the help!
nobody gives a shit about linkedin
t. HR
I have heard the complete opposite from everyone I know in the industry. HR dont look at cvs, but at linkedin.
Not saying youre wrong but thats what I keep hearing.
Can you give me some advice what would be the best way to explain the 5 years? buttrading and family business or?
Tell them you're not a slave who works just because people think he should work.
Looking at your linkedin is a waste of time after looking at your CV. I'll just look at your references and contact them.
If you think someone is gonna contact you through linkedin cause they're looking for prospects there, you're wrong, at most you'll get some startup jews looking for goyim to pay in company shares.
Just say family business, butt trading will make you look retarded unless you got some code developed to back it up like auto trading.
thank you so much! I needed this answer. I can be silly sometimes. Thank you.
Any way to spoof references? Not op.
Family friends who own business is your best bet.
thats me fucked then, do you always contact through email?
If i can't contact through phone i go to your email, but it's already a bad sign if i can't contact your references through the phone.
gracious for the effort. Makes sense. Tell the truth it is so.
Just fill it in with "Freelance" work
Could you flesh this out for me? Best way is to possible say I did work on freelance websites or?
Say you travelled the world and wrote 3 privately published works of non-fiction.
Thanks all for the advice.
Say you were an entrepreneur on various projects related with bitcoins
Doesnt wash with most companies really.
does that also work for depression/self pity binge
just do some bullshit on upwork
now you don't even have to lie
good idea user! Ill check it out. Hate lying as its stress and immoral.
Wouldn't know, I work on my own. But being a entrepreneur is sooo this day and age, just say it and you'll be fine.
>I love to travel and discover myself on every journey. when I look into the eyes of every people I meet its when I make connection with my true self, now give me money because I can't live on the park bench another winter
Job description and resume/linkedin is all a charade anyway. Google examples of junior software developer resumes, and copy/pasta. What you want is to get as many interviews as possible, and if they like, they'll take you regardless of the gap.
well, if you say that you did freelance work, you're going to want to be prepared to give examples of said work. so, web design or web-based software is the only easily believable idea within the field that I can think of off the top of my head. unfortunately, the most important question an employer would probably have about any freelance work would be, "was the client satisfied with your work?" but if we're still talking about web shit, you won't have any person or online example to refer them to, which might raise suspicion, or at least lead to the impression that your work wasn't to the client's liking.
lmao, thanks for this lol..
Thats the plan user. Thanks for the positivity.
Pros and cons eh. I think I might just do some freelance work and suck the client off.
>tfw get exhausted after 2-3 failed interviews
Ive a friend whos 55, highly qualified and has done about 20 interviews.. Hes about to jump off a cliff.
The chase is better than the catch, you know
>I had severe health issues but luckily I'm over them.
not really that could only apply to actual work
What do you mean?
"Freelance work. Sorry, under NDA so can't talk about them."
Problem solved.
Does this actually work? Are there any NDAs out there that really specify you cant say you worked for them?
I believe most security-related jobs are like that.
Sure. Government assignments, for instance. It's rare but may do the trick too. Don't get your head around this a lot, just be vague. And remember, vague is good. You just let the other party fill the gaps.
As someone about to graduate from engineering and already don't want to work in the field I'm afraid this will be me lol
Youll be much better. I had a mental breakdown from working too hard and anxiety of fucking up.
bamp
Just work for free for someone to get experience.
if I have a gap thats explained by being in a school that I dropped out of... should I list it despite not getting the degree? or no.
That actually wouldnt be a bad idea to cover a gap, say I did 3 years of a 4 year course haha
except for me its true, I actually got passed the first half which is the hard part really, but I just didnt feel like doing it anymore, the stress/benefit ratio just wasnt worth it.
I wouldnt do it if it isn't true, just incase they actually care enough to contact the school and ask if X was a prior student.
school cant give out that information here
"Well I made a significant sum from private trading, so I decided to take some time out for personal development. It was quite fortunate for me, really, since I got to travel quite a bit and experience the world. Great experience. I lik eto think I made a difference in the world. I'll never forget little Mtwngwe and the villiage of African children who I taught python to while hiking up the Himilayas with Xiolin monks of WuDang. It was certainly a challenge, I'll tell you that for free, but by time we reached the summit we had developed an ios app that was able to identify feminist friendly yoga studios based on gps location."
oh shut up it's like the Freemasons.
>Alternatively, you could say you were caring for a sick relative or something, idk.
That's what I did lol.
that's why you're still working at a toys r us
like half the people in my office were headhunted from linkedin and I work at SAP
I have had a LinkedIn for the last 6 years have never felt like it actually helped me on my job hunt beyond letting me import my job history into online applications
Aside from that, it's only good for looking up people you went to college with or figuring out to whom you should address your cover letter. that's literally it. Notice that the old dudes who own businesses and sit on boards of directors and are C-Suite Execs don't give a shit about it. Meanwhile Gen Xers and Millenials document every thing they ever did on this gay site because they got bamboozled by marketing.
Yea, its important here in the UK
bamp
just whore yourself out to someone
HR might not, we really don't know what those guys get up to. However down in the lines where people like me checks CVs and Linkedin, a 5 year gap raises a lot of red flags. There can be good reasons but then we sure would like to know what it was.
Can you suggest good ways to cover it? My family own a big farm. Investing buttcoin is another.
Yep, same here
Firstname lastname consulting
Consultant
I want an excuse to drop LinkedIn. It feels like a waste of time and it's a botnet owned by Microsoft.
That wont wash with 5 years missing.
* Cryptocurrency daytrader
* Travelling
* Personal/close family illness
Say mix of all 3, gg. Throw in some personal rproject bs
Please help me with excuses. I really was trading crypto after my mental breakdown but I do not want to disclose my mental health history. I wasnt bumming around but severely impaired.
Don't mention the mental break.
> I was doing a lot of bitcoin mining. I made a lot of profit. Bit coin went to shit and it was time to get back to work
Please don't work for me.
I can't wrap my head around mental breaks, stress, anxiety preventing someone from coming to work.
Yeah, I couldnt understand how it happens either until it happened to me. I thought I was losing my mind and had a mental illness, I mean a physical illness. I even went for brain scans. I had trouble reading. Sleeping. Started bleeding from the gums and lots more strange sillyness. It was all depression and anxiety looking back.
Not to be an ass. Serious question.
Had you tried to just tough it out?
Yeah, I tried that for 3 months but I started to go crazy from not sleeping. I couldnt understand what people were saying to me after awhile nor could I read, never mind do software engineering tasks.
Believe me I wanted to work so fucking bad. I think the fear of failure is what ramped up the anxiety. I knew I had no control over myself anymore and it scared me to death.
Not OP.
What do you use as a photo for LinkedIn?
I need one for LinkedIn and my current job is asking for one too.
OP here, I paid for a professional photo. Probably OTT but considering my position, Ill take all the professionalism I can make.
My coworkers have pictures of them off doing interesting things working on ships, in the arctic, off doing their phd, out in the wilderness etc.
I never even do anything worthy of being photographed. I don't even have a graduation photo to use since I skipped that too.
A selfie or professional shot would feel so awkward but I may have to resort to it.
Professional headshot.
Go to any photo studio and ask for a linkedin headshot picture. They'll dress you, pose you, and give you a dozen pictures to choose from.
What if you don't want to use glorified social media like Linkedin?
Say you had cancer, someone from my team had the same 5 year gap and that helped out
Other option is look for death startups around your city and list them
I'm a software developer not a business major.
It all feels so American
lol... my moral compass would feel overloaded if I said I had cancer..
It's not about being a business major, it's about looking professional.
Not quite a first impression, but if I'm recruiting and I'm browsing resumes, checking out candidates and I check out linkedin profiles. If there's one candidate with a professional headshot and another with a selfie wearing a t-shirt, you can guess who's getting the interview first.
OP here, completely agree. Its easily worth the $$.
It's called a "sabbatical". Just say you wanted time, was able to take it, and took it. Simple as that.
People dont take 5 year sabbatical at the start of their careers.
Your linked in picture may or may not get you an initial interview, but after that it is worthless and you will be tested on your ability to do two things:
1) solve problems
2) play well with others
Go to a dentist, get a hair cut, dress nice, communicate well.
it's the IT crowd episode all over again
1) mediocre at problem solving, get a lot better with experience.
2) extremely good with people
>Alternatively, you could say you were caring for a sick relative or something, idk.
That's the textbook cop out, I literally read that in two different job application help books. Really sucks, because for me it's actually true and it forces you into giving details you don't really want to give because fuck them it's none of their business what I did to help my grandpa.