Have to take a shit really bad...

have to take a shit really bad, but my brother and his friends are in the room right next to the bathroom and i feel like it will be a loud and smelly shit
music for this feel

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...

is this chart a joke that i was never in on? those haino and menche records are not harsh at all

what's the problem? do they not shit?

youtube.com/watch?v=rYwwQPociQY

Honestly thought that was Thom Yorke from the thumbnail.

Pretend you're going in to take a shower
have to shower going to cover the sound
spray some febreeze or somethin

there ya go

there's an essential shit core chart on the wiki. I can't get on right not out else o would post it.

Same, to be honest, famillia

i'm too self conscious about letting loose my anal apocalypse, i ate something nasty and i can guarantee based on the farts that its going to smell like dead weasels crawled up my ass

why have you done this

>Go to neighbour's house
>Not next door neighbour, maybe two or three doors down
>Make up some stuff about how your toilet's broken
>Ask if you can go
>If they let you do it there
>If they don't try somewhere else

Alternatively, just shit in a bucket in your shed, and sort it out after they leave.

>not having a portable shit box near your pc

have some self-respect man

be proud of your unbelievably foul anal deposits

i want you to walk out of that bathroom and say "yeah, you smell that shit? i made that motherfuckers"

It fit the mood.

>not knowing how to incognito shit
step 1. turn on vent fan to mask sounds

step 2. use sink running water sound of to mask sounds even further

step 3. Flush as soon as shit hits the water every time so there's no turds floating there for minutes, smelling up the bathroom

step 4. do not use air freshener when done, this will give away the jig. You want to use a bunch of hand soap and maybe shampoo, if your sink has a plug make a stew of that shit and get the suds really going. this will fill the bathroom with the aroma of the soap. If you don't want to do this, and you have them, matches work great.

t. master of shitting in other people's homes

not really an option as i live in a commieblock apartment
its taking everything i have to keep my sphincter in check, im seriously considering shitting outside somewhere as its already gotten dark

Best tip to make it not seem obvious your taking a honking great shite is to cushion the landing with bog roll before you go.

What did you eat you dirty fuck?

If a guy goes into a washroom and you can't hear the distinctive sound of urinating while standing, AND he turns the fan on, AND he turns the sink on, I know exactly what the fuck he's doing and it makes it even more awkward because now I know he didn't want me to know.

lets just say that expire dates are to be taken seriously
cant do any of this sadly some dickhead architect made this building
>pic related

They know what you're doing by flushing that goddamned much

>grab some matches
>throw some toilet paper in the shitter to attenuate the noise
>release feces
>flush
>light a match
>wait some seconds
>light another match

go to bathroom, switch the faucet on so that the sound of the water pouring into your sink masks the sound of air that leaves your ass as you shit

its almost as if they are taunting me, sitting in silence, like they know that im at my limit, they must have smelled me way over there

today is a bad day

Haven't seen String-Emil in a looong time.

do what I say hereI've been using this trick for years when I need to take a stealth shit in the office

you need to do that shit
otherwise you're just gonna keep farting those farts and that's worse

Is that Thom Yorke?

i heard the door slam and hoped they had left, so i tested the waters and found that one of them was still there sitting on his phone, so i had to awkwardly retreat or go to the shower room to check myself in the mirror to avoid awkwardness even more

Crisis averted, I found a window of opportunity and took the chance, though, it smells horrible in the entire apartment now

thread over I guess

yep

glad he washed his dick