Joke thread

post your original international joke

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_Dutroux
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...

A pole walks into a bar and orders a beer. He then pays for it and proceeds to drink it. Afterwards he leaves.

"Why are polandboos all that beautiful"
"Because only Polish love Poland."
*Laugh in polish*

??????/10

I will rate your joke
pls post

...

Japan is the joke

What does a Canadian man do if he walks in on his wife having sex with another man? Politely apologise for disturbing them, and says he'll return at a more convenient time.

Told that to some Canadians while I was over there and they all agreed that it was a moderately funny joke.

?????/10
1/10

Wtf. Explain this Canada

A German, Italian and Irishman are captured and sentenced to death with one of three choices

Get a bullet to the head
Hung from a tree
Or injected with AIDS

The pragmatic German immediately steps forward and requests the bullet. BAM, he dies.

The passionate Italian comes up next and requests the hanging, SNAP, his neck breaks.

The Irishman then requests the injection. Intrigued at first, the guards inject him. He begins laughing like a maniac, confusing them.

He then requests another one and they can't believe what's happening, so they ask him "Why are you laughing?"

He replies, "you fookin idiots, I am wearing a condom!"

9/10

?????/10
> I am wearing a condom!
what does he mean by this?

Fuck you nip it's at least a 4/10.

In case no Canadians come to explain this, I will. Canadians have a reputation for being incredibly polite and not wanting to cause offence even if they are in a situation which they are themselves very angry or upset about.

It's a joke about how Irish people are stereotyped to be stupid
In this instance, the Irishman is under the impression that AIDS can only be contracted if you are not wearing a condom

but he isn't wearing a condom because he is captured is he?

a mudslime stands inside a car, who's driving?

the police

I apologize for that perceived stereotype, a Brit told it to me, Irish would be a welcome upgrade to us, colonially speaking

No

?????/10
how can a man stand in a car?

His remains after a suicide bombing can, being taken to forensics for examination

An Indian family dies in a plane crash. Their last thoughts were, "Good thing we didn't buy return tickets".

intended for

no he can't because he became fragments

Maybe it was a minor explosive that decimated only his legs

4/10
but chinese also will do

not bad Abdul

really make me think....
easier to understand joke preferable

What's a Gazan standing inside his house?

a liar

???/10
what's the point?

What's the difference between an intelligent Japanese man and a unicorn? None, they're both fictional characters.

Did you hear about the winner of the Japanese beauty contest? Me neither.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Japan? God couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

How do you know if a Japanese gang has robbed your house? All your rice is gone, and 3 hours later they're still trying to back out of the driveway.

1.5/10
racistic but I understand the point

A Pakistani walks into a bar

The bar is blown up by state funded terrorists for being haram and the Pakistani dies.

a solid 9/10

There is a palestinian boy on a swing What is he doing ? Irritating the jewish sniper

8.5/10

4/10 :)

I mean it's true but it's not funny. Work on your delivery faglet.

what's a well-dressed Arab doing

he's going to the court

What Japanese drink is made from carrots, broccoli and onions? Mitsuya Cider.

5/10
???/10
it isn't tho

in a building there are 10 families from Africa and 1 French family

one day the building is burnt and destroyed by a massive fire and everyone dies except the French family, why?

because the parents were working and the kids were at school

What do you call a Chinese hospital with a Japanese doctor?

Unit 731

A German goes to India and sees free food scattered everywhere.

hehhehe 6/10
unit 731 is as fictional as anime tho

Best one.

We have so many racial-ethnic jokes but since we're America everyone probably heard them. Well, probably not Japan. Here are some.

What do you do if a polack throws a grenade at you?
>pull the pin and throw it back

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
>avalanche
What do you call a group of black people running down a hill?
>mudslide
What do you call a groups of Mexicans running down a hill?
>jailbreak

Why did the white guy go to the Mexican yard sale?
>to get his stuff back

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man?
>a large pizza can feed a family of 5

btw i once saw two old chinese people hitting each other in costco

How to make an Indian bow before you?

Show him a beef burger.

What is separating the Humans from Animals?

The Mediterranean

We love you too.

7/10

why did you fuggin skip me m8 i swear

Really makes to laugh

Not the Sahara desert?

Why the Arabs are good for the triathlon?

Because they go to the pool on foot and they come back with a bike.

You think of africans as humans?

What is the difference between Belgian girls and Belgian potatoes?

Belgian potatoes are first in the soil and after this the cellar.

( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_Dutroux )

Our engineers spent years inventing this joke.

t. Tyrone Deshawn LeQuiza Williams

What is an Arab between two trashbags?

A family picture.

>a large pizza can feed a family of 5
lel

Why it's better to not smash an Arab with your car while he's on his bike?

It might be your bike.

And why it's better to not smash a nigger with your car as well?

It might be your slave.

10/10

A regular guy comes up to a rich motherfucker driving bentley. He is covered with golden chains and has a gun underneath. So he asked the rich guy:
>excuse me, could you please help me. I'm going to pass you by soon with my gf. Can you please greet like "hi, Dmitry"?
>Are you outta your fucking mind? Go fuck yourself.
>But, please, you were young as well and wanted to show off too. Give me a hand.
>Fuck it. Ok.
In a few minutes he sees Dmitry holding his gf hand. So he goes:
>Hi, Dmitry!
>Fuck off, freak.

9/11

You stole that from a meme pic.

A father and his 3 sons go on a safari in Africa to hunt some animals.
On the first day, the first son tells him:
"Father father! I got a zebra!"
The second son tells him:
"Father father! I got a lion!"
The last son tells him:
"Father father! I got a noboom!"

On the second day, the first son tells him:
"Father! I got an elephant!"
The second son:
"Father! I got 2 giraffes!"
The third son:
"Father! I got 3 nobooms!"

On the final day, the first son says:
"Father, this will impress you! I got 4 lions!"
The second son:
"No father, THIS will impress you! 6 elephants!"
The third son:
"Father, I got a whole 10 nobooms today!"
The father finally asks the third son:
"What are these nobooms you keep telling me about?"
The son answers:
"Haven't you seen them? Those tall, black things that run around and scream: NO BOOM! NO BOOM!"

A Jew sues an Armenian. They both are found not guilty, the judge is hanged.

I don't get it.

The third son was hunting niggers

are there even black people in mexico?

He was hunting blacks with a gun

>safari in Africa
>mexico
...

yours reminds me of a hershey's miniature for some reason

Good one, 6/5

ooh a chocolate mint, that's what I was thinking of.

Двa швeдa вcтpeчaютcя нa yлицe
- O, пpивeт! A ты знaeшь, чтo Cвeн - пидop?
- Oн чтo, зaнял y тeбя дeньги и нe oтдaл?
- Heт. в хopoшeм cмыcлe!

Two Swedes meet each other on the street
- Oh, hi there! By the way, did you know Sven's a faggot?
- He borrowed money from you and isn't giving it back?
- No no, in a good sense of the word!

Two Swedes meet on the street.
- Did you know Sven is a gay?
- Yes, I saw him at the gay club.
- Oh, what a coincidence, me too!

all their house belongs to Jews.

Sweden

You're not a real Jap if you don't understand that you wanker, it's a play on words in the Japanese language.

English teacher/10