ITT: we pretend to live in silicon valley

ITT: we pretend to live in silicon valley

Other urls found in this thread:

wakeup-world.com/2012/05/21/httpwww-naturalhealthstrategies-comdangers-of-soy-html/
optimumchoices.com/Soy.htm
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>Day 14: I'm at my first junior developer job in silicon valley, nobody suspects that I'm actually a guy pretending to be a tranny just so they'd give me a diversity job.
>I saw one of the purple-haired HR staff do a double take at me as she walked by, her hand darted straight to the book of write-up slips she keeps on her belt loop.
>I'm in way over my head!

Heyyyy anyone up for a brunch at Starbucks?
The Triple Sparkle Organic Gluten-free Soy Mocha Latte sounds absolutely amazing, and it's only 1500 calories!

Guys, how can I get a permit to remove my mandatory buttplug? I hear the undocumented citizens don't have to wear one.

I can't possibly work without at least 9 monitors, three of which are oriented diagonally

Ugh. Someone clogged the sink with their used tampons in our gender-neutral bathroom AGAIN!
It's the third time this month!

"Yo Ethan, Jonathan and I are going to get some triple frappe caramel lattes and play Settlers of Catan at starbucks with Jessica and Peter, wanna come?"

Not today, Tran. Tanya and I have a date playing Mario Kart, plus I promised her i would cook dinner for her tonight. Thanks for the invite though.

"Hey, no problem! Catch you around!"

I hate republicans REEEEEE

whats wrong with this convo?

Hey, i need to take a day off, time for my monthly neo-vaginal dilation, you know, girl stuff. Thanks for understanding.

SOMEONE FUCK ME IN THE ASS PLZ I AM GAY AND PROUD PATRIARCHY REE TRUMP IS PRESIDENT BOOHOOHOOHOO

Im looking for people to fund my next project

It'll be the Uber of dogfood. It will be built using Electron+Vuejs+MongoDB

that sounds super disruptive!

I'm late to my cum tasting seminar after my BART train was delayed because an undocumented shopper needed money to pay child support for his trans-latin-sexual wifes son and to purchase some perfectly decriminalized estro-fentanyl for his legitimate unjudgeable non-stigmatized casual drug sampling hobby. He took it from from a privileged white man's backpack which is perfectly legal under the diversity reinclusion tax of 2023. I then had to make a stop at my undocumented pharmacist to get some of that new soylent-infused estro-weed. I hear it lowers my natural toxic masculinity so that I can be more understanding of others. The future IS female after all. After that I forgot that I made too much money this week and I was caught by a neo-sharia undocumented tax reinclusiveness patrol squad. They only made me perform a Google pay transfer of half of this weeks salary because they noticed that I had placed another Google branded islamic inclusiveness patch on my backpack. I hope they still have some of the undocumented cum samples this time because I hear that their culturally supreme and extremely diverse diet leads to the best tasting cum. Ah to be a Californian is the dream!

I've been trying to communicate to the board of directors that we need a synergy-conversion based approach to diacritical approach to ethnocentric homogonism in the workplace. All I'm saying is... we need at least 2 more people who suck dicks and 4 more who we can't tell where they're from. Is this too much for the systems admin to ask?

I couldn’t imagine being an assblasted Sup Forumstoddler like these fags lmao

Are you sure? You look pretty assblasted yourself.

Soylicon vally fag spotted

Hey somebody rent by only $2000 one room with bed and bathroom!!! close to melon park

I earn $120k a year and I live in a box truck parked outside my workplace.
It's pretty neat, no need to spend $60k annually on rent alone, but the lack of toilets and electricity suuuucks, I pretty much spend all my time at google and never leave because they have actual running water.

LMao

A programmer at Google would make at least 180k a year. A decent 1 bedroom apartment in Mountain View or Sunnyvale costs $2000 a month.

I couldn't even find that definition until I went to page 2, nobody is ever gonna see it, and it has more dislikes than likes.

The golden state warriors are my team, me and my wife's son's fav player is def steph thompson

wakeup-world.com/2012/05/21/httpwww-naturalhealthstrategies-comdangers-of-soy-html/

Soy is dangerous but don't like alt rigth say

That it's during work hours

Wow that sounds pretty nice desu

>alt-rightards famous for down voting anything that doesn’t reflect their view
>relevant at all
COPE

At least I'm not a soyboy.

Found the soiboi.

optimumchoices.com/Soy.htm
Several years before soyboy insult

*nods respectfully toward you*

We're going out for drinks and deconstructed pulled pork sandwiches. Be a good team player & join us.

But I do live in Silicon Valley.

>SOY SOY SOY SOY
>he says while downing Mountain Dew and Doritos while fapping to hentai doujin dickgirls on his cum-stained stinkpad surrounded by piss bottles, skidmarks on his underwear and the remains of chicken tenders

LMAO

>he says while downing Mountain Dew and Doritos while fapping to hentai doujin dickgirls on his cum-stained stinkpad surrounded by piss bottles, skidmarks on his underwear and the remains of chicken tenders

Projection 101

Sorry sweetie, I use a Mac and iPhone because I’m a well adjusted person, and not some basement autist :)
I apologise for touching your sore spots :)

Soyboy Brian had a conversation with his gay boss Manley and having a delicious organic Gluten-free Soy Mocha Latte.“I want you sore, baby,” he murmurs, and he continues his sweet, leisurely torment, backward, forward. “Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.” Afraid of homophobia, Bryan was sore for a whole week. "I love working in Silicon Valley," he giggled.

I had iMac and iPad

Welcome to real life, baby.

Everyone hates you. Silicon Valley is the only place that tolerates all sort of degeneracy.

I got written up at work today for watching anime during my lunch break at work, the red-haired busybody who wrote me up went out of her way to google the synopsis of the show I was watching and printed it out with a bunch of red circles on all the "sexist" parts.

Nice fan fiction faggot

Upset that we get amazing contracts for great pay ;)

>not liking settlers of catan
It's babbys first serious board game but it's still good

That is the exact smarmy retort i would expect from a woman.

>Starbucks
Gtfo normie.

I mean, you DID reply to half of the fucking thread at once... are you sure you're not the one who is actually assblasted?

back to hackernews, silicon valley diversity hire.

> $150k salary
Here's my luxurious SF apartment... I have 2 roomates and a preechy chink gf who treats me like dog shit. It's ok though because I think the shitty social manipulation platform I write applets for is changing the world. I also think I'm god's gift to the earth and work 14 hours a day so I never have any time to think about how fucking retarded my life is. I spend the 4 free hours I have on weekends drinking boxed wine sniffing my farts w/ friends in Delores park. The rest of America is Fly over, I don't own a car because there's nothing to see beyond SF's borders... who can find parking any way? Rent for a parking space is more than some people's rent. A gallon of milk costs $5.48 at the look Bodega but no worries.. Me and some friends are coming up with a venture to disrupt that w/ a posh vending machine.. That will bring it down to $4.48 because you know we gotta make profit. You wave a smartphone in front of an NFC sensor and the door opens and charges your account once you've retrieved your goods. My Chinese friend and I saw a similar product in China while visiting. We'll throw in a Camera w/ some 'AI' tech to get a higher valuation. Maybe if we cash out of this and get some idiot to buy us out i'll finally be able to buy a 2bdr 1.5bath townhouse I've been eyeing for $1.8 million. The street shitters and highway noise is annoying but the area is on its way up. Life's good user

You are salty arent you? Lmao

guys guys i just came up with a brilliant idea. I found out a perfect way so we can all stay diverse. HR is going to love this new idea. pic related its me.

Salty or have I actually lived in the bay area and am making accurate humor about the state of living? There's no reason to be salty about something you can easily change. Most people in the bay aren't even aware that this is accurate depiction of their life.. kek

this is hilariously accurate

Some of these wern't pol at all. The typical Silicon Valley/Inner city tech circlejerk to be irritating.
On second thought, your posts = pic. Have a free (you)

>replying to half the thread
I think you're the one who's assblasted user

Hey DeQuan, Stacy, John, lets go get some soy-inused avocado toast at the new restaurant down the street with tripple frappe mocha lattes?

Congratulations on making it to the fourth round of pre-interview screenings! You'll have to make it out of our escape room within the allotted 30 minutes. Please note that some of the puzzles in the room require a complete understanding of the CSS3 box-model.

kek

Lets do it in jQueryUI.
Wait, no, lets do it in AngularJS!
wait, NO, lets do it in React!
WAIT! NO! lets do it in ANGULAR 2!
WAIT, HOLD THE FUCK UP-- LET'S DO IT IN VUE.JS
Rinse repeat forever.

>tfw can't make guacamole anymore cause these faggots eat it all up by putting it on their toasts

Starting salary for new Bachelors grad is in the 130K~140K range. It goes up pretty quickly if you can survive 12 months there.

Surprisingly close to the truth

eyy, box truck guy
what happened to him after the niggers outed him?

>Day 200
>The fat white male soyboy is complaining loudly about "white males" again

kek

t. delusional soyboy
hell, even katy perry was on that shit all the way back in 2009

Idk, I heard it was very, very unsafe to remove your mandatory buttplug, lest you might start acting on your CIS, c*mpetent, wh*te m**e privilege.

Ugh theres a homeless white man outside but i just posted a pic about white cis males ruling the world i guess i will wait for tomorrow before i ask for a glass of water from starbucks and hand it to the homeless man and snap a pic posting it on tumblr and myspace to show how selfless i am. OOPS i almost forgot MacBook i wouldn't want that filthy low life bum stealing that

VERY nice, very nice

I have a revolutionary idea. We are going to blend fruits and vegetables, put it in an expensive bag and develop a $400 machine to squeeze said bags. It is really revolutionary and I only need $120 million in funding to do it.

>guys bullying is wrong, start being more inclusive
>hahaha people who were bullied are so pathetic

>your only options for food are soy or doritos
you're an idiot

double standards? In my PC cult?
It's more likely than you think!

>Soylicon

> Soylicon
I will be putting this to use user. Thank you

WOAH, this is gonna be SUPER disruptive in the juice industry!

Searching for full stack developer for BIG opportunity developing new disruptive app. I will be the business/idea side and you can be a 50% shareholder. I cannot pay you up front but with how much money we will be making this should not be a problem.

Must have microsoft office experience.

>U jelly? ;^)
(You)

Made a PR on Safari to fix some comments that were gendered

I hope you are lying to me.
I just got done having a convo with guys at work about building a 300Blk AR.

kekd

>pretend
Get me the fuck out of here. I visited Seattle and wash shocked how "cheap" real estate was. Planning my escape now.

I feel this way though. Unless you're talking about the "he [sic]" part.

I to hope to get out to Seattle soon, but I am coming from Wyoming. The jobs are good here but don't pay shit (not a huge deal since it is cheap to live here) and unless you are in the mountains it's pretty much just looking at ugly open prairie.
Glad I don't have to deal with any of the "SJW" type issues here though. The only people with colored hair are usually juggalos and all they do is smoke weed and be dirty.

Saved. Like a new hawaiian dicking.

these people hate their parents don't they?
those who were teenagers during the irak war ended up becoming slaves for the same people they hated so much without even realizing it

I can't wait to go back to the South, these people are going to be the death of me

>Tired of trying to convince people to care about people who aren't like them.

I tend to find that white people who are overtly "I am going to make you accept this person of color!" are typically the most racist of them all. They feel it's their responsibility to speak for my race/culture/rights like I can't do it myself.

But I actually do live in silicon valley

Hope your fridge is fully stocked with soylent

It's worse when you're actually one of those "special races" they keep putting on a pedestal and then they talk down to you because they think they know your "struggles" better than you.

No soylent in fridge, I'll have to restock soon

They're white supremacists who feel guilty about being part of the superior race.

This type of soylent age flesh mortification for their perceived original sins is absolutely remarkable. I have noticed that it is only rich whites who engage in this type of behavior, most typically those with rich parents who sent them to really overpriced private universities where they are sheltered from those without money. They don't possess the capacity or self awareness to realize just how many poor whites in America are completely fucked when it comes to opportunity.

Max gives our Soylent filled fridge two thumbs up @soylent

when they meet a white looking spic who speaks spanish perfectly they have a conflict of beliefs, you should see it person

lmao I was right this guy went to a $65k tuition + room and board private uni.

>have a child
>still too lazy to cook
What is wrong with people?
I thought soylent was an early version of bachelor chow.

Maybe he had good intentions, but he has no time to actually cook since he spends most of his time working unpaid overtime.

So, who's coming to the sex party this weekend? I hear they got a few qt real estate agents to attend

I'm coming, hope it will be men only!