Tell me about yourself, user

Tell me about yourself, user.

How about you buy yourself a tie that doesnt look stupid

>mfw I won a scholarship with a power company by bullshitting my way through the interview

How about you tell me why have such shit taste in ties instead?

I’m just your average guy with an above average work ethic trying to get by and feed my future family.

I don't see how this is relevant to our discussion.

so is everyone else who applies but you'll never get accepted by saying only that

my main motivation is money. the only reason i'd want to work here is because you guys give me money for my services. seems like a fair trade to me, if you want to exchange money for my services just let me know.

I am just a poor boy.

If I might guess. You fucked up your last ten software projects, accumulated heaps of technical debt and now you need someone to turn this ship around.

Am I right?

I'm a soyboy who poo'd in muh pants because I couldn't make it to the street

If I did that, I would lose some of my anonymity. Nice try, CIA nigger.

I'm gay.

Okay let me rephrase that: YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKTARD

Didn't you learn enough about me through the three precursory phone interviews? Let's cut the bullshit and start white-boarding the top-5-tech question you paid your assistant to google search.

Please calm down sir. I don't want to take this to HR.

I don't have a place to live. Really need this job. Will you gib me pls?

I am the fastest creature in the galaxy!

>I'm single and have no life, all nighters won't be a problem
>YOU'RE HIRED

Did you grind up Wario and spool him into silk for your tie?

I can fizzbuzz in four languages

>hold my beer
print(1)
print(2)
print(fizz)
print(4)
print(buzz)
print(fizz)
print(7)
print(8)
print(fizz)
print(buzz)
print(11)
print(fizz)
print(13)
print(14)
print(fizzbuzz)
print(16)
print(17)
print(fizz)
print(19)
print(buzz)
print(fizz)
print(22)
print(23)
print(fizz)
print(buzz)
print(26)
print(fizz)
print(28)
print(29)
print(fizzbuzz)
...

What if I don't care? Fuck your tie seriously man

I thought this was an interview, not a discussion.

#girlswhocode!!!
So easy to understand!

You have not only disrespected me but have also wasted my time. I want you out of this building NOW.

*Shits on your desk and your tie*

I masterbate at least 3 times a day so I came here to get out of the house and stop masterbating.

Play the man, and a little the game.

I'm the boss.

No