/p4k/ - Nightly Pitchfork Countdown Hypetrain Thread

Fellow Pitchfork patricians, it is once again the time for our nightly countdown for Pitchfork's new reviews to be updated on the site at 1am eastern time.

10.0?
0.0?
Best New Music?
Best New Reissue?
8.0+ with no BNM?
A shitty set of 7's and below?
Weird Al’s eternal BNM incoming hypetrain!
Noctourniquetcourtsney Barnett Review?
Titus Andronicus being robbed once again?
Dead Sara - Pleasure To Meet You 8.3 BNM?
Ian FUCKIN' Cohen?
Ryan "THE TASTEMAKER" Dombal?
Lindsay "qt feminist" Zoladz? [retired patrician, memory lives on forever]
Jayson "8.7" Greene?
Larry "retired BNM godfather" Fitzmaurice?
Craig "Meme Rap" Jenkins?
Brandon “Meme Metal” Stosuy?
qt Kim "retired Meal Goddess now at Noisey" Kelly?
Grayson "Grizzly" Currin?
Brian "Backup" Howe?
Mark "the elder statesman" Richardson?
Evan "IS GARAGE ROCK DEAD" Minsker?
Meaghan “retired trap queen" Garvey?
Andy "secretly alpha" Beta?
Zoe "¡DALE!" Camp? [retired, will probably still get asked to show feet]
Philip "Electronic Wizard” Sherburne?
Stephen "M." Deusner?
Laura "Sun Kil Buffoon" Snapes?

Will someone dethrone Radiohead/Chance the Rapper’s 9.1 for AOTY?

OFFICIAL and accurate 2016 BNM Tally: 23

The most wonderful time of the night, every night, right now. Here it is, the nightly P4K thread. Time to get comfy.

>P4K Collection Rar (Over 300 deleted reviews, pics of every staff member, now slightly updated)
mega.nz/#!l1ZlRbqb!WYbGuia29w1_fpg05XS3F9Rtb8aFfj8WzZg8Z3mbwRQ

>Tonight's Top Stories
-This thread stands with Kesha eternally
-Rest in peace Thomas Fekete
-Run the Jewels rev up the hype machine
-This thread hypes and supports DIIV, Bat for Lashes, Peter, Bjorn and John, Local Natives, DJ Shadow, and Swans.
-/p4k/ forever

Pitchfork is a multi million dollar ad sales network that does nothing for obscure music unless it is right outside their front door, or if it's an artist whose PR firm is one that they are cozy with. Pitchfork deliberately keep the artists down that they "discover", control them, and give them a 5.0 when they decide their carreer is over. Meanwhile, P4K made about $150.000 in ad sales to Lexus, Miller Coors, and Topman while said band was a hot news item on their page. Do the bands see any of that ad money? Fuck no. They make shit. Ryan Schreiber's condo costs $722.000. And Pitchfork wants to talk to us about " indie" and "diy"

counterpoint:

pitchfork is a cool website and i enjoy reading it
car seat headrest = aoty

condé nast is sauron ok

The album in the last spot will get a 6.8.

Seriously, come back after the reviews are posted and the fifth one will have a 6.8.

pitchfork is to music what kotaku is to video games.

fuck off will

fuck me daddy

craig jenkins is at new york mag now. dunno if he has a no-compete contract or not but i imagine they'd have him on one

thanks for bumping

what's everyone listening to?

pic related

fuck yah dude, welcome back

Post feet

earmilk is better

i just want the soles

>no-compete contract or not but i imagine they'd have him on one
nigga they're ""music"" """""journalists""""""" calm down

You're an absolute idiot

if a major magazine is hiring someone on as their main music critic, why would they want them reviewing music at other publications?

because music writing isn't a big deal?

tons of p4k staff writers write/wrote for other publications, and p4k is about as big as nymag

wisslpb?

i mean regardless of your opinion on music writing, it's a big enough deal where sites employ staff members with salary pension etc, so protecting a brand and not having your staff write for other websites is in tandem with journalism anywhere else, of any variety

thanks man, a nice p4k poster shouted me on last.fm and encouraged it

C U T E

>ywn shitpost IRL with Zoe at the beach after rubbing sunblock on her feet
why even live desu?

Are there any BNMs in sight bros?

incredibly underrated album in an incredible discog

66 tracks
34:25

good post

i see that acronym all the time on Sup Forums, what does it mean?

NIGHTLY RUNDOWN
Mark Kozelek 5.5 BTFO by Sam Sodomsky
Holy Fuck 6.6 by Ian Cohen
Sepalcure 6.0 by Patric Fallon
Angry Angles 7.6 by Jason Heller

why is she so literally perfect bros?

>only time p4k will ever give anything less than a 6 is to kozelek

when will they forgive him for raping laura?

>it's a "pitchfork pans kozelek because he is a mean guy called one of our reporters a b*tch :(" episode

When will music twitter get over this vendetta against Mark Kozelek? This is just absurd.

they're right. anything but a solid pan means you're being complicit with misogyny. I expect swans to receive the same treatment

i don't know but i don't think they'll ever stop unless it becomes trendy to like mark kozelek again, and they're trying their hardest to stop that from happening.
on one hand, i don't think mark cares much what critics think. he's mark kozelek, he'll be in the indie canon forever. it's not like he's an up and comer, new to the industry shmuck who has to fall in line or risk being panned for non music related activities. he's already made it. 20 years from now, no one outside of this thread will remember anyone working at pitchfork right now except for maybe ryan, and that's only because he's the founder.
on the other, i still hate to see these obviously extremely negatively biased reviews because pitchfork won't let go of their grudge.

Swans will be fine since it wasn't one of their writers

gira and pals will get a mid-low BNM, no matter how good the album is. i am expecting no higher than an 8.6, but no lower than an 8.3, except if pitchfork is in the mood for the good old 8.1 NO BNM meme.

There was no track review for When Will I Return?, either, even though they BNTed the two To Be Kind singles. Seems worrying...

I swear, if Koz hadn't had any drama, then Pitchfork would have given Universal Themes and 8.4 and this covers album a 7.3.

There's a person out there with the surname Sodomsky

listen to it

they have scrnshots of the universal themes review being published and written up by ian cohen with no bnm before the official one was posted, im guessing it was gonn be more like an 8.0 at the most

but they likely knocked it down after him talking shit about their writer

I've never heard of these screenshots

they were all over these threads and even on the board last year, i wouldnt be able to tell you what to search for in the archive but its there

Google Ian Cohen Universal Themes, P4k's twitter posted a url to a non-bnm review of the album written by Ian Cohen which linked to a 404 page, before the tweet was deleted and they posted the "official" review the week after