You have one minute to proof that the people of your country have a better sense of humour than Germans

You have one minute to proof that the people of your country have a better sense of humour than Germans.

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futon ga

futton da

Kommt ne Frau beim Arzt

What do you call a gypsy with no arms?
Trustworthy.

Why do Turks smell?
So even the blind can hate them.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The pizza won't scream when you put it in the owen

Why Poland likes mongol invasions? Because mongols have to cross Russia twice.

Kek

It's 30 cm long, has a purple head and makes women go crazy. What is it?
>ᶜʳᶦᵇ ᵈᵉᵃᵗʰ

youtube.com/watch?v=36GDCze9jVE

How do you recognize a Dutch ship?
.
.
.
>ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ᶰᵒ ˢᵉᵃᵍᵘᶫᶫˢ ᶠᶫʸᶦᶰᵍ ᵇᵉʰᶦᶰᵈ ᶦᵗ

Kek 10/10

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile

>not being familiar with A. Wyatt Mann and his classic jokes illustrated series

it's like you just joined us this summer

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Don't turn this into a Sup Forums thread! >:(

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Whats the difference between a Maori and a table?
A table can support a family XD

what, no racist jokes?

What do you call OP in a chair?
Virgin

À quoi reconnaît-on une jeune fille belge ?

À la marque du trou.

they're exactly the same jokes as and but illustrated, so what is the problem?

hehe old but nice

I remember a variant of a well-known Sinterklaas song from those days: "wie braaf is krijgt lekkers, wie stout is dutroux" (instead of "de roe")

>german humor

In ancient Egypt, a kid does his homework by carving hieroglyphics on a stone. At one point, he has doubts. So he asks his father:
"Say dad, when one writes: "The manly warrior impresses his opponent", does it takes two or three bollocks?"

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>efficient
I love sarcasm

Furious, a guy armed with a gun enters into a crowded bar and starts screaming :
"I want to know who is the bastard who fucked my wife !"
A voice, lost in the crowd replies :
"Calm down. Either way, you'll never have enough bullets !"

An old granny enters the doctor's office.

- doctor, I have a problem: I'm farting. Always. I spend my time farting. But they don't smell and don't make noise. You can't be aware of it, but I already farted like 3 or 4 times since I entered your office.
- OK, says the doctor, I see what it is. Take this drugs for 1 week and come again then.

One week later, the granny comes back:

- doctor, doctor, I don't know you you told me to take, but it's not working at all. I'm farting as much as ever, but now they're stink. I swear they stink so much it makes my eyes itch.
- Great, great. We've took care of your nose, now we'll do the same for your ears.

Lol

A bear was walking through a forest. He saw a car burning. He got in and burned down.

I think he's trying to mimic the complicated human emotion called joy.

Making way for the new Aldi

Spudro spädre benis.

Vasily Ivanovich Chapayev, Petka, and Anka the machine-gunner are hiding from Whites and are crawling plastoon-style across field: Anka first, then Petka, and Chapayev is last.

Petka says to Anka, "Anka, you lied about your proletarian descent! Your mother must have been ballerina – your legs are so fine!"

Chapayev responds, "And your father, Petka, must have been plowman – the furrow you're leaving behind you is so deep!"

Lmao we literally have a joke describing German humour


A German
1,2,3.......

Why is there no subway in Bucharest? It would collide with the quality of life.

I learned that the meme is true when I went to Kaiserslautern in Saarland for work, to visit a contractor company.

After a tour of the company we were presented some food and coffee, and the mood got lighter. I made a funny remark, I don't remember exactly what but it was all in good taste, my collegues all laughed but the Germans remained stoic and they all stared at me. It felt rather uncomfortable, I thought they must all think I'm an idiot.

But later outside in a cigarette break, they came to me and told me that thye found my remark funny, and they were all very friendly to me.

You just can't read it from their faces. I thought they were ready to give me a neck-shot.

I heard that joke several times, but it always amuses me.

A special offer from Estonian mobile phone providers: the first two hours of a call are free.

- "I told some Estonian blokes that they're slow."

- "What did they reply?"

- "Nothing, but they beat me up the following day."

A Tchukcha (simple natives of the Russian Far East) returning home from Moscow is met with great excitement and interest from his friends: "What is socialism like?"

"Oh," begins the Tchukcha in awe, "There, everything is for the betterment of man... I even saw that man himself!"

The Soviet Union has launched the first man into space. An Ukrainian shepherd, standing on top of a hill, shouts over to another shepherd on another hill to tell him the news.

- "Mykola!"
- "Yes!"
- "The moskali (Russians) have flown to space!"
- "All of them?"
- "No, just one."
- "So why are you bothering me then?"

Abram cannot sleep, tossing and turning from side to side... Finally his wife Sarah inquires:

- "Abram, what's bothering you?"
- "I owe Moishe 20 roubles, but I have no money. What shall I do?"
- Sarah bangs on the flimsy wall and shouts to the neighbors: "Moishe! My Abram still owes you 20 roubles? Well he isn't giving them back!"
- Turning to her husband, she says reassuringly: "Now go to sleep and let Moishe stay awake!"

How do the Chinese name their children?

They throw the cutlery down the stairs.

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian go on a safari and are captured by cannibals. They are brought to the chief, who says, "We are going to eat you right now. But I am a civilized man, I studied human rights at the Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow, so I'll grant each of you a last request."

The German asks for a mug of beer and a bratwurst. He gets it, and then the cannibals eat him.

The Frenchman asks for three girls. He has crazy sex with them, and then suffers the fate of the German.

The Russian demands: "Hit me hard, right on my nose!" The chief is surprised, but hits him. The Russian pulls out a Kalashnikov and shoots all the cannibals.

The mortally-wounded chief asks him: "Why didn't you do this before we ate the German?" The Russian proudly replies: "Russians are not aggressors!"

Once upon time there was a finn, a swede an american and a faggot sitting on top of a cliff. The finn threw lumber down the cliff and said "we have so much wood and forest in our country, that we can just waste it like that". The american guy threw 1000 dollars down the cliff and said "we have so much money in americs that we can just waste it." the faggot looked at the swede and said "no please dont.."

A Russian and an American are sentenced to Hell. The Devil summons them and says: "Guys, you have 2 options: an American or Russian Hell. In the American one you can do what you want, but you'll have to eat a bucket of shit every morning. The Russian one is the same, but it's 2 buckets."

The Yankee quickly makes up his mind and goes to American Hell, while the Russian eventually chooses the Russian one. In a week or so they meet. The Russian asks: "So, what's it like out there?"

- "Exactly what the devil said, the Hell itself is OK, but eating a bucket of shit is killing me. And you?"

- "Ah, it feels just like home - either the shit doesn't get delivered or there aren't enough buckets for everyone!"

A Soviet newspaper reports: "Last night the Chernobyl Nuclear Power station fulfilled the Five Year Plan of heat energy generation... in 4 microseconds."

Excellent ones

Some Norweigan guy once said that "It is illegal to buy more than 3 shower heads on same time in Germany" still found it funny

Turks dont smell any more than Arabs do. And they're not more hated than Jews.

>DarkHumor
nice

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are alone on an uninhabited island. They catch fish for food and suddenly catch a Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:
The American: "A million dollars and to go back home!"
The Frenchman: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!"
The Russian: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of vodka and the two fellas back!"

(side-note In Russia 3 people is considered the ideal company for drinking)

A man finds an old bottle, picks it up and opens it. The Genie comes out of the bottle and says: "Thanks so much for letting me out! I feel I should do something for you, too. Would you like to become a Hero of the Soviet Union?" (Hero of the Soviet Union was the highest Soviet award). The guy says: "Yes, sure!"

Next thing he knows, he finds himself on a battlefield with five grenades, alone against five German panzers.

Germany is subhuman degenerate westerner

I am a Greek.

In the USSR the policemen always patrol in groups of three.

One that knows how to read, one that knows how to write, and one to keep an eye on those two intellectuals.

Again in the USSR, a lecturer visits the mental hospital and gives a lecture about how great communism is. Everybody claps loudly except for one person who keeps quiet. The lecturer asks: "Why aren't you clapping?" and the person replies "I'm not a psycho, I just work here."

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