spooky edition
/brit/
Liam Robinson
Julian Fisher
Every year a bunch of louts with a cricket bat prowl my street on Halloween around midnight, smashing any pumpkins that have been left outside
On display outside my house is the biggest, juiciest-looking pumpkin I could find at the market, carved beautifully and generally looking like an irresistible target
What the lads won't realise this year, however, is that I've hollowed out a section of the wall the pumpkin is sitting on, with enough space for me to crouch within it. I will be sitting there, my bollocks stuffed through a tiny aperture just under the pumpkin. Despite looking like an ordinary pumpkin, I will of course have stretched my poor ballbag around the entire thing
Can't begin to describe how I feel right now. Having my bollocks smashed to smithereens and kicked and smeared down the pavement will feel like ecstasy. Let me tell you, my ballsack is ready to meet its maker tonight lads
Nathan Cox
lads
Caleb Nelson
Is my gatto a Manx?
He's really big and beefy and has a nub of a tail.
Robert Green
creasing
Jason Perez
ah yes, glasgow
Jonathan Adams
this girl just told me she's free but I'm not sure if she's keen because she took like 3 hours after my text to reply.
should I invite her over or just leave it?
I mean, she did say she's free so that suggests she can come over but I can't be arsed doing any elaborate chasing and I'm feeling lazy a/f right now.
Luis Martinez
why on earth would you do that? that would seriously damage your testicles
Gabriel Ramirez
Engaged in conversation with the university principal, the trick is to reply as soon as they reply to your message
Currently discussing a complaint against the head of the school who conducted my misconduct hearing and expelled me
>The head of school who conducted my misconduct hearing and made the decision to terminate my enrolment at the school had no familiarity with my misconduct, she was only aware that I had a conviction under stalking legislation, she had no idea what I actually did, she was also uninterested in hearing the details. Due to her lack of knowledge she misapplied the criteria for determining the appropriate penalty.
>In my letter of expulsion one of the two reasons cited for the decision taken were "the nature of the offense", the head of school clarified via email that this meant nothing specific just that I had a conviction for stalking. It was implied that in her mind all crimes of stalking were equal despite the fact that the maximum sentence ranges up to 5 years, my crime was extremely minor considering I had no jail time and only a 300 quid fine.
Jack Jenkins
Any of you lads want to watch a scary film?
thinking Alien or something with aliens like the thing