Be French

>Be French
>Have a world-class military and one of the most militarily significant nations for the past 1000 years
>Have a fascinating history
>Have major contributions in philosophy, art, and science
>Have the most famous buildings in Europe
>Have the world's best cuisine
>Have what's widely considered to be the world's sexiest language and accent
>Have a country that avoided almost all of the religious missteps its neighbors encountered
>Have the second strongest economy in the EU
>Have the single most popular country in the world for tourists
>Be in all of the Civilization games
>Have such a nice country that people literally die trying to get in
CAN'T MAKE THIS MERDE UP

>have the highest concentration of cuckoldry

Enough

>Have such a nice country that people literally die trying to get in

you living under a rock? Everyone wants to go the brittain

Bring it on, haters

Doesn't mean other countries can't also have people trying to get in.

Out of genuine curiosity, does anyone in France ever wear that black-and-white striped shirt, a beret, or that really thin mustache?

>France
>world-class military

The béret is common as fuck among old/old-ish people. It's seldom weared by young French but it hasn't disapeared, especially in rural areas. Some people in cities also wear it but it often goes with an hipster kind of outfit then
The black and white striped shirt ("marinière") is a rather common thing tho, for both men and women.
The thin mustache is rare and I don't think it's more common in France than in other countries, it must be an old stereotype

>The béret is common as fuck among old/old-ish people.
Oh, it's a plague in Poland.

Thanks

>The black and white striped shirt ("marinière") is a rather common thing tho, for both men and women.

only in Paris m8

I like France, can't wait to go back. French is hard to learn, though.

the baguette and wine is a true stereotype as well i'm guessing

About the third nuclear power in the world.

Can't produce halfway decent soldiers though.

I live far from Paris and I know several people with such a shirt in their wardrobe tbf, it's probably more common in Paris but I wouldn't say it's the only place for this

Where did you go during your stay here ?

Yeah without a doubt, wherever I go there's always bread in the house and people carrying one under their arm is definitely not a rare sight
Wine as well, although I don't know that many people who drink wine regularly. But I'm around 20 y.o and people my age are usually still about vodka and other spirits during parties. Regardless, numbers don't lie and we are in the world's biggest wine consumers/producers. I live surrounded by vineyards myself

Still the best in Europe though, describes how poor the military is on this continent.

That's wrong, tho

if I was french I would unironically kill myself

I love you France, have a good day

>be french
>go to music concert
>get shot

How far the mighty have fallen. France is a shithole, it is by far the worst country in western Europe (including Scandinavia) and probably worse than Poland or the Baltic countries.

Based France is once again the most American European country

God bless France and America

Mauvais poste
Bon poste

>be brit
>can't go to music concert since they have been banned by sharia law

kek

...

...

That was 4 years ago, wasnt it ? Nowadays you go to prison even on slightest hint of support of ISIS.

...

>so butthurt he has to post meme charts

Stop shitposting little kiwi, what can you know about muslims and Europe from your tiny ridiculous country that doesn't exist on map ?

>he says as he is mowed down by a muslim driving a truck

Yep, this isnt news, muslims dont integrate. And we can clearly see it in France, if a black man is doing good and seem to have assimilated into our culture, 9/10 he's from a Christian family, and if 9/10 he's from a muslim family if he isnt.

>be french
>wake up and sniff armpits
>"honhonhon pas assez smelly je pense, c'est unacceptable honhonhon"
>rub crushed garlic all over yourself to rectify this
>bus drivers are on strike again, ride bicycle to work
>accidentally enter sharia zone
>shaved twirly, effeminate moustache yesterday so look like a little boy
>dutifully accept your government-mandated anal penetration
>apologise to muhammed, abdul and faisal for not enjoying it enough, promise to do better next time
>finally get to work
>clock in
>surrender hard for 45 minutes
>clock out
>go on strike for having to work 15 minutes longer than usual
>get blown up on the way home

See

>kiwi
>fuck sheep

>be french
>go outside
>get blown up
>go to work
>get blown up
>go to school
>get blown up
>go to the movies
>get blown up
>declare war on germany
>surrender
>go to nice
>get run over by a truck

HON HON, OUI OUI, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS BAGUETTE IS SO DÉLICIEUX!

MERCI BEAUCOUP MY FAVORITE BOULANGERIE! WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY TO LIVE IN FRANCE!

...

>be kiwi
>wake up
>remember you'll always be mistaken for Australia
>take shower
>remember that you'll never be put on a map
>go to work
>sheep fucker is banging one at the front desk
>go home
>find a fine piece of sheep booty
>fuck sheep on the side of the road
>remember the most famous person from my country is some fundementalist Christian
>go home
>remember my country will only be known for being the landscape to lord of the ring.
>cry myself to sleep wishing I could have been born in Australia.

>>remember the most famous person from my country is some fundementalist Christian
what did he mean by this?

>66867088
>Have the most famous buildings in Europe

Sorry, that would be Italy

Literally the only noteworthy person from New Zealand is Ray Comfort. I only know him from my edgy atheist years.

We need better Franco-American relationships. I'm tired of this stupid meme that we don't like each other. France is a good place.

>be kiwi
>wake up
>remembers the only reason people heard of his country is because it was cucked by France
>be mad
>spend your all day shitposting on France
>no one cares since you're new zealand
>pay homage at the memorial of the Rainbow Warrior incident were thousands of kiwi lost their lives
>shag some sheeps on the way home

>Be a kiwi
>Be a british colonial reject
>Tries to be relevant by pouring memes in all french thread, with the same pictures
>Is sad because he is not australian
>Shitpost intensifies
>"I definitely showed them, my country must be proud of me"

I have no idea who that is

the first man to climb everest was a kiwi btw

So? I still don't know his name.

dude I absolutely love france. idk who started that stupid shit but all I know is that France is the reason we won the revolutionary war, and that my vacation to Paris was wonderful because the people were so nice and helpful

>be french
>surrender to your alarm clock
>wake up
>have cold meat for breakfast because you already surrendered to your oven, stove and microwave
>pretend to brush teeth
>practise surrendering to yourself in the mirror
>spend three hours trying to cross the road because you keep surrendering to the traffic
>finally get to work
>surrender to your boss
>surrender to your clients
>surrender to head office
>surrender to germany in 1940
>go home
>surrender to yet another terrorist attack
>surrender to the government
>get tired
>surrender to your bed

Oi cunts, leave my little brother alone. He can't help being born like that.

not my fault americans are dumb lmao

peter jackson is a kiwi too btw

A couple from Algeria arrive in France with their new son. On his first day of School, the teacher asks him his name. "Abdul" says the boy. The teacher scoffs and says "You're in France now, you will have a French name. Pierre Moreau is your new name." The boy goes home and ready to tell his parents his new French name. The next day at school the boy has two black eyes and a broken nose. The teacher shocked says "What happened Pierre!?" the boy says "I've only been a Frenchman for a day and I've already got my ass kicked by two fucking Arabs".

Best ally

you better control this little cunt hole

Okay you have one, but even then I mixed him up for an Aussie

He'll tire himself out soon.

What do you find good about france
what would you expect when meeting a french

You are so boring. Don't you like cats ?

Do you have cats in your shithole of a country ? Do you fuck them too ?

Everything OP listed is what we find good about France, top tier country in general.

>What do you find good about france
The scenery is nice when there aren't any French people around

>what would you expect when meeting a french
Rudeness, body odor

OP is memeing. He hates France.

i hope i'll meet you someday, you seem cool

The George W. Bush administration when France refused to support the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

France has the most beautiful culture, most interesting history, and most amazing landscapes in Europe hands down. I honestly don't know what to expect. In the US the stereotype is that French people hate Americans but I don't know if that's true, honestly I would just expect them to act like a normal person.

was meaned to

haha nice.

[spoiler] too soon [/spoiler]

>Nobody (You)'d my France joke

hmm, just one more thing to make me dislike Bush.

kek

The guy made who this thread clearly has autism and never leaves his rooms.

not a reason
i have many friends IRL who are alegit autist and they are cool as fuck

Actually this is a quite common french joke. Where did you got it, on /fr/ ?

i love america, their landscape are beautiful, if things turn bad in USA i'll be glad to take you to my home

>tfw French American

be careful what you wish for, that may happen sooner than you think my french brother

Well my father went on a journey in the US during the whole french bashing thing, he was in mostly republicans states (Texas, New Mexico and Arizona) so he was expecting people to be a bit cold.

But to his surprise locals were really warm and friendly, so I guess people are clever enough to make a distinction between the politics and the rest.

i have a futon and baguette, tell me what you need and i should be able to provide

Better relations with France isn't practical. US is monolingual and the French speak Arabic.

someone make the same for Russia

haha

diet coke and cheese whiz and I'm good

Texas and the Southwest are generally more chill than the South desu

Ça vient de Beauté ça non ?
Excellente BD, je l'avais lue dans le journal de Spirou à l'époque

why not real cheese
at the local market there is delicious Saint Nectaire, really creamy

>be russian
>wake up after dreaming about drinking
>drink
>walk outside
>lose 2 more fingers to frostbite
>drink
>go to work at weapons factory
>drink on the way
>hail to glorious putin while drinking
>drink
>go home
>find out wife dies of heroin overdoes
>drink
>invade afghanistan
>take all poppy fields
>can't grow poppy in Russian winters
>die of lack of heroin
>drink

...

honestly i prefer a good brie over any other kind of cheese

Deal

Trump is going to win and send all the beaners back. I don't see much hope for France though.

Our future is Mars and France's future is Africa.

rude

>Be French
>all of the nice things OP mentioned
>and yet...
...what went wrong?
Is it all de Gaulle's fault?

>be Russian
>walk outside
>robbed by gopniks
>drink
>wish putin would let you watch pornhub
>jack off on dog
>kill georgians
>drink
>take crocodile
>drink more
>live in a constant state of fear and misery
>stop noticing when it hurts
>drink

>>kill georgians
wait why georgians?

i could have said muslims or Ukrainians but honestly i forgot what war russia fought in the caucasus region

only the syrians die trying to get in you fag

just to clarify i do know that Ukraine is in eastern europe, not the caucasus region

>kill georgians
more like
>kill chechen