1. Your cunt
2. What's the most autistic thing you've ever done?
>couple stops me on the street and ask me for directions
>I don't know where they have to go
>panic
>say "kurwa I no speak English" in a shitty Polish accent
>they tell me not to worry and move on
>turns out they have just moved in the house opposite me
>I now have to speak with a fake Polish accent every time I encounter them
>things that never happened
> Got deported for being fake Pole.
This post is now your new record.
polonization in progress
>What's the most autistic thing you've ever done?
Not closing the tab when i visited Sup Forums for the first time
>Sitting next to the girl I like in class
>Not talking to her
The academic year is too long, I hope there's at least a tiny chance but with this attitude I go nowhere.
>girl says she likes me
>assume that she's fucking with me
>laugh and walk away
>turns out she actually does like me and I just laughed in her face
Holy shit me too.I just laughed and laughed and then left
My sides
the most autistic thing you've done was not just telling them you got anxious and panicked and instead choosing to put on a fake polish accent every time you encounter your neighbours
I won't be a kissless virgin forever, r-right?
Nigger do you even realize how alpha that looks to the girl? They'll be thinking about you while masturbating.
Does being caught by mom while masturbating count?
>finally gather up the courage to talk to a qt gril
>massivelly spill spaghetti, stutter like a retard
>still cringe when i remember it
Do NOT fall for the "just talk to her bro" trap unless you're confident it's gonna go well
I think being from Uzbekistan already qualifies as pretty high on the autism bar
Didnt fuck 2 russkie sluts and loose my virginity to them in a threesome when I had the chance, but they had fucked like 6-8 guys before, so I am kind of glad I didn't.
Hey, britbro. Gonna come to your country the next year. As a student though.
What would recommend me to do while studying at the uni? How not to fail socialization? Shall I already get rid of fantasies about banging girls, smoking dope and have all the nice things of student's life? I mean like grills and bois will despise me for being a slav barbarian from shitty Eastern Europe, right? You know it's the first time me going abroad for such a long term.
No-no, do not touch Russian Natasha's. The most mercantile and horrible hoes you could ever find in Eurasia.
I lost my virginity to a roastie
Checking out what this Sup Forums thing is about ten years ago.
Yeah, thats true.
Could be worse I guess.
I'm not a virgin myself,so I guess you have 100x times more chances than me since you're in US,so no
>implying there is anything wrong with roasties
>i lost my virginity
as if it was a bad thing, who cares if the girl was a virgin or not?
kek I'veI lived in Oslo for a few years, it's pretty big and I'm too lazy to learn the name of the streets here
so when people ask me for directions I tell them I'm a tourist and I can't help them
I once faked a central-mexican accent to ask for directions on a street on my own city's downtown.
I love British autism posting
For me it is probably when I get drunk on cruises and try to talk about history and random international shit like wars or cultures with random QTs.
>Getting beat up in school as usual
>Do the Vulcan Neck Pinch
>Get beaten harder
>tfw I've done this before at a store
Why did I have to be born?
>girl tells me she wants me to come to her place and fuck her, as blatantly as possible without actually saying it directly
>i dont understand it until some time later when prospects of fucking that girl have vanished
ah yes, a true classic
I was alone in my room and I tried to burn a fart with a lighter, but suddenly this nice girl (my neighbor) came into and saw me doing this stupid thing
That's strange OP I have a similar thing happen to me lately.
I went on a date, it was the first and only date I've ever been on. It was with some girl I was chatting up on Okcupid for the past week. On her profile it said she was really into Spanish men, she used to go out with one when she worked as a holiday-rep in Barcelona. So, I pretended to be Spanish. I have southern European features because my dad is Italian so I sort of look like a Spaniard? Of course it was a retarded idea because I don't know Spanish and obviously I have an English accent. But I didn't think it through properly and things escalated and I started to like her, we organised a meetup I thought it'd be a pump and dump and that'd be the end of it. We have been calling each other on the phone for hours last week and I could tell she was really into me. I wasn't really sure how a Spanish guy sounds so I sort of did a Russian accent with a lisp but it worked.
It was our first date yesterday and we both agreed to have another. But I realised how retarded I've been. She can't be my gf how I can pretend to be Spanish 24/7
>foreign guy goes "excuse me" at crosswalk
>feeling how spaghetti starts falling out my pockets
>literally just stand there looking straight ahead ignoring the guy
>light turns green
>power walk away from the guy
I really hate people
I did the same once but for some reason it doens't bother me.
>Girl texted saying she was just driving and If she could bring me something
>I ask her to get me mcdonalds
>She does and I close the door in her face after shes on my porch and hands it to me
>She texts me saying she obviously meant a booty call because it was 2am in the mourning
>tfw I didn't know but thanked her for the cheeseburgers
I fucking HATE when this happens
That's not autistic. They offend me by implying that I look like a sucka who would respond to some stranger
worst thing is that everytime somebody posts leaked nudes of jennifer lawrence, i'm reminded of that girl. she looks very much alike. and i get this sexual urge
Italy, born in Ukraine
A cucumber was stuck in my asshole for 2 days.
Yes, but the story behind it is what we are after ITT
Nothing in particular happened, sorry to disappoint you.
>I just shitted it out.
>No shit was on it;
>Only blood. But not much.
WHat's even worse is autistic stuff you do everyday.
I ride a 22 minute train, two times a day, and I never sit because every seat faces another one, and I can't stand the thought of spending 22 minutes trying to ignore a person just half a meter away, it's painful.
In my trip to school I enter in the second stop, so there's plenty of seats open, I'm almost always the only one standing up, which isn't easy as well, by the 4th stop there's lots of people standing up though, and I can relax a it.
Or just sit there and look at your phone or whatever. Stuff that all people do.
I sit infront of a computer all day in my underwear and only eat take out
>mother pretty much never let me go to visit friends as a child so I had shit for social skills up until I graduated from high school
>Two months before I moved from Kansas to California, I had an essay due in school
>Was supposed to present in front of the class
>Wrote an essay about almost pissing my pants in my sleep
>thankfully the assignment wa cancelled
fucking lol
fuck mane, are you me ?
FUCK
Public transportation was invented for reading. Get a book.
you probably didn't have to since you're below 5'0
The first time I asked a girl for her number I had literal spasms.
Thanks god she gave it and made it a positive reinforcement, the second time went just cool and fine.
I once went 48 hours without a proper meal because I didn't want to encounter my housemates.