Riddle me this Batman...

Riddle me this Batman, why wouldn't a hockey team sign a super fat guy to park it in front of the net so no shots could get by him?

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Olympic sumo would be best goalie all times

Dont you have to pass a physical to get the OK to play by athletic commissions?

No one ever answers this seriously. I think no one knows why this hasn't been done

because he would have to be really, really fat and not enough americans play hockey

because your mom would drain the whole teams energy sucking them off before the match

>implying someone of this size would be able to last even a period without their heart collapsing

He's a big guy

youtu.be/rrgHA56uEDQ

Such a stupid question only nig nogs and americucks ask.

He would hardly be able to move.

He wouldn't be able to cover the puck.

He would NOT completely cover the net, despite what you think. Whether he would sit down, lay down or stand up, there'd be glaring openings to shoot at no matter what.

Or if you meant for him to be a player and not goalie, why the fuck would they waste 1 of the 5 players on ice for a fatass? He wouldn't be able to do anything whatsoever on the opposite side of the rink on offense.

He needs to be on skates, nigger

i dont even watch this fucking and i know this

The goalie pads have maximum size limits. There would be a ton of fat hanging out and pucks fucking hurt

Thats because its asked multiple times a week.

He wouldn't fully cover the net at all. This is a retarded question.

slow reflexes

There's a size limit on goalie pads too. So if he was a super fatass like the OP pic his fat might actually be wider than what is allowed. And if that's the case he would be taking 100mph slappers to the skin.

i want to see a legit 300 pound big boy train and maybe sign an SPHL contract

>He would hardly be able to move.

why would need to?

>He wouldn't be able to cover the puck.

why would he need to?

>He would NOT completely cover the net, despite what you think. Whether he would sit down, lay down or stand up, there'd be glaring openings to shoot at no matter what.

he would cover at least 90% of the net the entire time. This is substantially better than anyone in the history of the sport

He'd still have to go down on his pads to stop it from going between his legs then once on the ice he would be so fat he wouldn't be able to get back up.

Shoot between the legs forcing him to the ice. Once both knees are down how long/how much energy would it take to get on his feet?

I don't see why not

a lardass fat enough to cover a hockey goal would not be unable to stand unassisted for 20 minutes at a time

I don't think you realize how fat we Americans can get, guy. No space between these legs

Not fat enough
Gotta get one of those guys who can only move through use of a crane