/brit/

'AVING LOSS DEE ELECKSHUN AN' LOSS DEE AHGUMUNT, DA BUTTHURT LEFT AN' DA RIGGED MEDIER IZ DESPRIT TA SALVAGE SUM SKRAP OV CREDABULITY edition

youtube.com/watch?v=uyS3Ghevf2I

Other urls found in this thread:

metro.co.uk/2016/11/17/non-offending-paedophile-says-not-all-paedophiles-are-child-molesters-6263925/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

is it weird that I hate how that guy talks?

DA MAYNSTREEM MEEDEIUR

Yes, I can't watch him because he's always so shouty and angry

currently sat atop Mt St Helen with my ballbag plugging the vent

No one can force me to live and no one can force themselves to live

Gentlelads.

Why are young people voting for left wing parties more viable to certifiably fuck them over when they become working adults? It's baffling

🥄
this kills the brit

metro.co.uk/2016/11/17/non-offending-paedophile-says-not-all-paedophiles-are-child-molesters-6263925/

Just wrote an article, lads

honestly don't think he's going to suicide
people who legitimately want to kill themselves don't whine and bitch on the internet before they do it.

housemates have been making strange noises all day

hey baes u k?

what noises x

Fuck off racist

nuclear apocalypse when?

>SPSO

DO IT FAGGOT!!

Keep the ball rolling

An you never know, you might get a non-honours degree out of this is your work is 35%+ satisfactory

don't think the gfs neighbours are too happy with our late night antics lads

YES I WILL

I'm crying for help before I do it, why can't you understand?

I didn't sit my final 4 exams (half of the final year)

thought they were having sex but the girl started crying
lots of things being dropped over and over
disgusting throat clearing
bug spray being shaken for 30+ minutes
speaking Swedish loudly

Testing

>Slippery slope exists
I KNEW IT DID BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO?!

quite fond of Estonian lad with the anime girl pics

>YES I WILL
then fucking do it

>I'm crying for help before I do it
So you want someone to stop you
in other words, you don't actually want to kill yourself

>Dunno if you'd be free any time but do you fancy going for a coffee or something at some point? I hate talking over Facebook, it never feels like proper conversation

Reckon that's appropriate enough? I don't want to call it a date

Why am I asking you lot anyway, you're all as hopeless as me

Stalking Aisha

What do?

>I hate talking over Facebook, it never feels like proper conversation

t. 35 year old with a fake profile whois going to date rape you

🤣 Rolling On The Floor Laughing
🤤 Drooling Face
🤠 Face With Cowboy Hat
🤡 Clown Face
🤥 Lying Face
🤢 Nauseated Face
🤧 Sneezing Face
🤶 Mother Christmas
🤴 Prince
🤵 Man In Tuxedo
🤰 Pregnant Woman
🤦 Face Palm
🤷 Shrug
Man Dancing
🤳 Selfie
🤞 Hand With Index And Middle Fingers Crossed
🤙 Call Me Hand
🤛 Left-Facing Fist
🤜 Right-Facing Fist
🤚 Raised Back Of Hand
🤝 Handshake
Black Heart
🦍 Gorilla
🦊 Fox Face
🦌 Deer
🦏 Rhinoceros
🦇 Bat
🦅 Eagle
🦆 Duck
🦉 Owl
🦎 Lizard
🦈 Shark
🦐 Shrimp
🦑 Squid
🦋 Butterfly
🥀 Wilted Flower
🥝 Kiwifruit
🥑 Avocado
🥔 Potato
🥕 Carrot
🥒 Cucumber
🥜 Peanuts
🥐 Croissant
🥖 Baguette Bread
🥞 Pancakes
🥓 Bacon
🥙 Stuffed Flatbread
🥚 Egg
🥘 Shallow Pan Of Food
🥗 Green Salad
🥛 Glass of Milk
🥂 Clinking Glasses
🥃 Tumbler Glass
🥄 Spoon
Scooter
Motor Scooter
Octagonal Sign
Canoe
🥇 First Place Medal
🥈 Second Place Medal
🥉 Third Place Medal
🥊 Boxing Glove
🥋 Martial Arts Uniform
🥅 Goal Net
🤺 Fencer
🤸 Person Doing Cartwheel
🤼 Wrestlers
🤽 Water Polo
🤾 Handball
🤹 Juggling
🥁 Drum With Drumsticks
Shopping Trolley

font

it's a big decision and a final one, just checking there's no alternative

Fuck off m8

I know the girl already, talked to her a bunch but only ever with other people around.

Just want to get some one to one chat done. But scared of rejection.

what's the context? that seems weird as fuck mate

t. non-virgin

I'm a dropout who made it anyway so I think it's a bit daft that you're thinking about killing yourself over some uni bullshit if you really are serious.

If I get similar numbers of the same repeating order it means I win the Euromillions tonight.

Some fatso is sitting behind my car taking pictures of me

>tfw to intelligent to not take Super Male Vitality and believe the mainstreeem mediar

>at a coffee shop
>an ADOREBLE gurl wolks in
>my PEENUS becomes stiff and I staht tah feel like BILL CLINTOHN
>SOOPAH MALE VITALUHTY kicks in so I get the cohredge tah TOLK tah her
>can't think of sumthin tah say
>"OI! Did yew know NOINETY FOH PASENT of peeple don't trost the MAYNE-STREEM MEATIER"
>she looks confused so I tolk moh loudly
>"DID YEW KNOW MAIKUL MOH IS A SAG OF SHIT"
>IMAJUN MY SHOCK when she stahts to roon away
>"OI! ROONIN AWAY FROM ME IS NOT A LEHJITIMUT FOHM OF PROW-TEST YEW UTTAH FOOKIN MOW-RON"
>that fill wun no GEE-EFF

have a bit of chit chat

ask her what she's doing

find a day shes free

THEN ask her to coffee

if she likes it won't matter that much anyway but this way is just smoother

too non-committal and submissive and save your feelings on facebook for later

>Hey fancy going for a coffee at the ol' bucks after class today?

better

>just checking there's no alternative
of course there's an alternative
killing yourself because you got kicked out of uni is retarded
especially since it's your own fault you got kicked out

Alri anonette? Fancy going for a brew at Starbucks after class?

coming very close to stopping /brit/ posting

The fact I relate even slightly to this fake story shows how corrupted just a little bit of time on Sup Forums made me.

wee means pee but also means small

hmmmmm

pls do

>I pursue women

I'm 25 and have nothing going for me

No friends, no skill, nothing

Only oldfags can see this post

hey bb u wanna root?

>tfw /brit/ developed a meme mocking PJW before Sup Forums

why are we so ahead of the meme game?

What would you do with £33 million lads?

What if I'm more straight up?

>You free sunday? Fancy going for a coffee?

Or is that just as bad

I overthink everything

what is this 'fake news' shit I keep hearing about

...

i wee from my wee wee wee

doggos

Find it pretty weird that girls put makeup on pretty much every day and they consider it normal never showing their normal face

imagine if you had to do that

23, but I relate
have literally never even considered suicide though

That works

Just try not to be so passive

NO

just do this:
it's not awkward at all and it lets her say no without being weird about it

runt animals for runt men

...

MAYNE STREEEM METEOR

Buy ten Barratt New Builds and rent them out for cheap to /brit/posters

come for a coffee with us on sunday you cow

no

*sets the runt hounds on you*
*watches with a smile as they tear your malnourished little runt body to shreds*
heh... runts

Establishment mad that the people really voting against them.

>"it was just a protest vote!"
>"the people were just angry!"
>"they were misinformed!"
>"fake news stories won trump the election!"

I don't want to stop being friends if she doesn't want to is the thing.

That's even more awkward. Stalkerish even.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON SATURDAY
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON SUNDAY
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MONDAY

WANT A COFFEE?????

TYBAJ

having a beard

runtish or nah?

Live in Switzerland and go skiing every day. Mountain biking/ hiking in the summer.

post pic

You won't. If she doesn't want to she'll go "nah sorry i need to study/do laundry/get railed by my bf" and you'll continue as if nothing happened

HULLOWWWWW yesh remember REAL politics not """save the white race""" ok thanks for listening bye

very doxxable data

put it in the bank

beards are good

1. Get a job. The shittiest minimum wage job will do.
2. Assuming you live with you parents and don't pay rent, save as much money as possible. Only buy things that you absolutely need. Live as frugally as humanly possible.
3. After you acquired lets say £2000, start learning about stocks. Download every book about stocks, day trading, pennystocks, etc. Watch every Youtube video related to stocks. Join Stocktwits. Just learn as much as humanly possible about trading stocks.
4. Make a Robinhood account and start trading. Make small relatively safe trades at first, trades that have little risk and not an amazing reward. I wouldn't buy any stock worth more than £5 unless you have more money than the £2000 I mentioned earlier.
5. Trial and error, you will lose money at first. After you do it for awhile you become good at it, start to understand patterns. You will start to make a consistent profit.
6. Accumulate Money. Move to South East Asia.

it's cheating

don't even acknowledge women who are such vicious liars living in a fantasy world

Some guys in Macedonia set up all these websites with fake headlines and then got them spread around facebook to make tons of ad revenue

it was shit like EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF BILL CLINTON RAPE and stuff

>That's even more awkward. Stalkerish even.
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON SATURDAY
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON SUNDAY
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MONDAY
>WANT A COFFEE?????
don't know where got that from you weirdo

mate, sort yourself out

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Enjoying this emoji gimmick

you can delete it later

thinking

>he thinks guys can't wear makeup

>Move to South East Asia.
stopped reading there

How much interest would you actually get yearly from £33 million? I think you could just live off that then keep the rest for emergencies.

*opens the door for the sink*

ah yes it's square miles and not people that get to vote

no people believe that the vote for president should be one person, one vote
y'know so every persons vote counts the same like every other presidential vote in the world

23 in worlds apart from 25

25 is when people stop caring about you entirely

>get a job
fuck off, that's impossible

I'm non-white and live in Rochdale
also, 25 with less than a years work experience

really engaged my warp drives

Same. It was the end of the post.

Got my new anal beads, cannot wait for my housemate to leave so I can have go.

>23 in worlds apart from 25
not really desu

yeah that's the joke innit

Note how the red areas are shitholes and the blue areas are the only places would actually want to live

I wish I wasn't such a coward about asking a girl out honestly

why?