I dont get it

I read the whole review and it sounds mostly all positive why such a low score?

I dont care that pitchfork rated music I like low I just dont understand why they do and not explain why it is bad like how fandango does.

Did you read the review?

no, just looked at the score

Yes i did. The start was negative but than he just rambles on and on about working and listening to the album and loving it. alot of it seemed so unnecessary and drawn out.

I never read pitchfork reviews so i dont really understand the format. I think i wanto keep it that way.

baka

I never listened to it or read the review, but Pitchfork cares more about the meaning of the music more than the actual tunes, so it could be an empty album with lack of meaning ?

here's another classic pitchfork review

How can any of you take their opinions seriously?

They don't have to explain it because the "cool" people will already understand that it's bad.
>a popular heavy rock band? Psh, nothing personnel kid.

Tool fans would have read this review about their new favorite album and have their lives ruined.

>This album by tool, while not perfect, gets this abysmall score while it certainly doesn't deserve to get below 5, even if you don't like their music at all
>kanye gets 10's

Because most of us including me are insecure idiots that don't know anything about music so deep down we take anything seriously that claims to be an authority in music.

Kinda explains how Scaruffi got so popular

Mate....

The sarcasm is so overt in that review that I really don't see how you read could it as positive. I mean:

>There is simply no way you could just dismiss the music (which is excellent). The bass playing is just really creepy and slow and sometimes it has this watery effect. Tool even follow in the footsteps of Caravan with Middle Eastern or Asian or something sounds. "Disposition" features bongos, and then on the next song, "Reflection," Carey's toms sound like bongos or tablas or whatever is in those Fruitopia commercials. Close your eyes and imagine if Asia had a space program. This is like the music they'd play. The song is called "Reflection" since it's quieter and slower and sounds like it's from India, where people go to reflect. Maynard's voice sounds like that little bleached midget girl flying around inside the walls in Polterghost. It's messed up.

He's clearly mocking the album and overzealous Tool fans.

pitchfork doesn't rate music on its merits, it rates music based on the image it's trying to create. anything remotely related to prog and that takes itself at all seriously (besides radiohead, of course) is automatically bad

They just have a personal grudge against the fanbase, so even if the album is technically good they won't admit it because some Tool fan bullied them in high school.

eh, there are loads of shitty albums that are technically adept.

Goddamn what a pathetic review.
He wants to hate it so much but he can't think of any legitimate criticisms so he just pretends to be retarded to mock the people he's trying so hard to distance himself from for reasons he's not sure why.

I just don't understand how they can roast some albums over a spit and give them scores like 3.0 and under, but then give shitty generic rap albums a 7.0-7.5

i think by "technically" he meant "actually" or "seriously".

as a Tool fan I enjoy there music and sound but never gotten into the whole "wow dude this sound makes me so cool n shit bro like weed and psychedelica dude wow Maynard is so philosophical" so if the review was intending sarcasm in that part it flew straight past me.

As I said before I never read pitchfork reviews I have seen the scores they give albums and although I never agreed or cared to see why they gave [Enter album here I like] a 5/10 I thought a 2/10 is pretty low so I wanted to see why.

Giving rap music bad reviews is racist.
It's ok to roast tool because they're unbearably white.

Man I love jazz. Miles Davis, Coletraine, the list goes on...

...Art Tatum. Thelonious Monk. Charles Mingus. Art Blakey. Dizzy Gillespie. Max Roach. Billie Holiday.

In my neighborhood I'm known by everyone as Jazz Boy. I know so much about jazz that everyone asks me for jazz-vice (like advice but for jazz music). My parents always bragged about my jazz knowledge ever since I was 6.

People just walk by me on the streets and in the halls and yell out a modern musician, and I instantly reply with a similar jazz artist recommendation and they say thanks!

They say "Deadmau5", I say "Ride the Coltrane!"

They say "Drake", I say "Monk it up!"

They say "Skrillex", I say "Ride the Coltrane!"

They say "Pink Floyd", I say "Get bizzy with the Dizzy (Gillespie that is!)"

They say "Avicii", I say "Ride the Coltrane!"

I've got my whole school wearing Coltrane shirts. I'm pretty much a legend. People were chanting Jazz Boy! at my school dance last year. It was a thrill. I got to pick one song for the dance and everyone loved it, they all stopped dancing for the duration of the song because they were all so engrossed in the music.

he tries too hard, and comes across as Mensia-level commentary.0/10 would not give another thought about

What an awful review, awful even according to pitchfork's awful standards.

oh man someone made a video of this and it was on youtube, can't find it anywhere
does anyone have it?

Fucking kek

Soooooo it's not cool to shit on tool anymore?
Are they gonna release that new album ever? I gave up waiting for it

I highly doubt it, and I fucking love Tool. I gave up like 3 years ago myself

Well isn't it true that Pitchfork takes the meaning into account too much when reviewing a music album?

Whenever someone mentions Billie Holiday as one of their favorite jazz musicians my eyes roll.

Can confirm

tool fans confirmed ASD

People that read p4k should be kill tbqh

pitchfork's is at its when triggering awful fanbases of awful bands like Tool or Mars Volta

p4k and most of the music press cares more about the advancement of music. they're entwined in the "next thing," because they like being excited and bright eyed about new possibilities.

Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad, but either way Tool did nothing for music that needed to be done. They took a trendy post-grunge sound and added some proggy mathy veneer of pretentiousness. It's the opposite of a band p4k would like.

same here

that album is better than 97% of the things they've given bnm this decade sadly

hahahaha

dunno why Sup Forums likes pitchfork so much, they're fucking retarded and pretty much just trolling all the time