How do you fix this sport?

How do you fix this sport?

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only foreign born naturalized citizens can play on the national team

Multiball

remove the americans

MORE BALLS
MORE GOAL NETS
MORE ADS
PLAY IN QUARTERS
ONE GOAL IS WORTH 40 POINTS
PUBLIC EXECUTION FOR THE CAPTAINS OF THE TEAMS WHO TIE A GAME

they removed themselves

give every player a gun but only one is loaded

I dont understand why fut sala is not more popular on murica, is faster, more flashy tricks. It seems to me they could appreciate it more than regular football.
youtu.be/XQ5uYLTnSpg

breaks for commercials every ten seconds

...

If a player gets caught flopping (all suspected flops would be reviewed) the player he flopped on would get a free shot at him, with a running start from 10 feet away. He could kick, punch, or headbutt any place on the player's body he wanted, but he could only take ONE shot.

Soccer somehow got a reputation for being a "pussy sport" as opposed to anything else. Perhaps some kind of nationalistic hangover from the old warring/cold war days.

Broadcast fart noises over the PA every few minutes to keep things exciting.

>povertyball
>things happening

It's a fucking miracle when a team scores more than twice in a game. It's two hours of people strolling up and down the field.

Kek

>handegg
>things happening

it's a fucking miracle when a team scores more than 5 times in a game. It's three hours of commercials and shots of people scratching their asses between plays

1. shorten halves to 30 minutes a piece
2. remove penalty kicks during normal play (only reserved for shootouts)
3. offside rule is revised for allowing "offsides" if a pass is grounded and/or not too elevated (i.e. no kicking the ball 50 feet in the air just to get it downfield)

inb4 ">this flag >this topic"

2 and 3 are terrible changes. I don't even understand No 2

Even if that were true (it's not), 5>2. Sorry they don't teach you yuropoors math.

If you're trying to say more stuff happens in soccer than any sport besides some shit like cricket you're gonna have a bad time.

Live in a developed country.

>5>2
apehoop confirmed for the best sport on the planet

Yeah stupid, thats why i recommended fut sal, games last half of a regular game and in the video you can see a 3-3 result.

It might be if it weren't fundamentally broken to being 1 superstar + 4 swinging dicks.

Simple fact is expecting a goal in soccer is like watching racing for the crashes, you'll watch for hours to see one and when it happens it's almost always underwhelming

>USA
>more developed than Western Europe

>ties
Why even fucking play

you're contradicting yourself, if you're watching for ~30 minutes (average goal time) a goal is a significant event. American sports are designed for TV so 75% of the game doesn't matter because you can stretch that last 25% with timeouts for a ebin comeback. Soccer just values all of the game equally

But it is, despite what internet memers will tell you my fellow primate.

change the shape of the ball to an egg and make the players wear full body padding and helmets

For one, it's not two hours. It's two 45 minute halves. Second, this is why America continues to perpetuate the stereotype that it's the stupidest nation on earth.

Nobody else needs a goal to find a game entertaining. This is a problem exclusive to Americans. Everyone else can watch teams play well, they enjoy the tension in watching them try to create chances, they enjoy great saves, they enjoy watching their favourite attacking players come up against their favourite defensive players. There have been plenty of games that ended in ties which were exhilarating. I remember watching Everton and Liverpool 3-3 at Goodison Park, it was one of the best games I've ever seen, yet to a mongoloid American HURR DURR TIE GAME.

Goals aren't that special. Only rarely does someone score an absolute screamer, and goals actually change the game to make it more boring as one team now has an advantage and can commit more men to defense.

Being unable to enjoy a game of football is a huge red flag for someone having aggressively low intelligence.

>americans making worst koreans look like civilised people

"Sport"

i like you worst Korea

Well said, good sir! I for one feel pity for those not intelligent enough to enjoy the beautiful game of futbol. I suppose only us gentlemen will ever understand.

>goals make the game more boring
>my favorite game was a tie
Holy shit. With this mentality no wonder why america blows everyone out of the water every olympics. Clearly competitive spirit outside north america. Its sad and bizarre

Let people use their hands for fucks sake

>Too embarrassed to even mention his home country

How many olympians will give tiny head disease to their kids?

Allow the players to tip the refs.

Mandatory clapping after each near goal.

Half time burgers.

Shot all players found diving, or suspected diving if they are black.

you can only post in this thread if you have at least 3 points in your group

>let people use their hands
>but not too much. Only one forward pass every so often
>let players physically stop each other from advancing the ball
>if theyve been stopped let them get up and reorganize
>make the goals bigger like as big as the field
>kicking is too easy kicking a goal is only worth half the points and the goal is ten feet in the air
Thats a good start

>90% of the world are fedora gentlemen, as opposed to 10% of the world (Murica) being unfortunately dumb

I wonder which one it is

Considering America has lead the world in science and innovation in the last 2 centuries im going with 3rd world nations being shit

>American tier banter

England is a third world country. France is a third world country.

All of the 11 countries with a higher standard of living than America are third world countries.

Well ok then, buddy.