I want to send a dildo to my ex-girlfriend. She's living with her family for the summer and I want to make this as embarrassing as possible. What should I say on the note?
I'm thinking something like "Dear customer, we regret to inform you that we are out of horse-sized sex toys. Please accept this complimentary dildo in return. Your account has been credited the difference."
Dragon dildo. Always dragon dildos.
someone?
This site only carries human dildos, unfortunately. But they'll shrink-wrap it and send it in a clear plastic bag so it's obvious what it is.
...
Dear customer,
As stated in out guidelines, we reserve the right to refuse service to any customer. Unfortunately we must terminate all business dealings through your account. We simply cannot handle the quantity of your constant shipments of our dongs. We wish you the best in finding a new supplier.
-BlackMonsterDicks Supply
[email protected]
"Stick it up your cooter!"
...
You realize op that no matter what company you use, there will be documentation... even if it's a gift, the name of the card/account holder is legally required to be on the package for delivery purposes.
Order the most massive thing you can find from bad dragon. Send it to her.
...
They say it's anonymous, but I'm not a lawyer or anything. Seems like anonymous shipments should be ok as long as you're not sending illegal shit.
you can also repackage a package and send it user
This is now a spiderman dildo thread
I'm not going to spend $80 to tell her to fuck herself. She's not worth that, hahaha
So, how long until the "Hey Sup Forums, I fucked up and now I'm in legal trouble for harassing my ex" post?
why dont you just send her a bomb.
if you use usps they can't check your package
About 5-7 business days?
I do have access to cyanide, so maybe that would be a better option if we're going straight for murder.
leik, you could make a post right now and people would be like:"yeah my cunt of an ex made a big deal over this little thing. she was totally being a bitch over no big deal. I sent her sex toys and thats apparently against the law. she got caught with them at recess and then her whole 4th grade class had to have this assembly."
some believe that curved murder is more pleasurable.
I think I'm going to go with a spring-loaded glitter bomb instead. Probably less legal trouble that way.
nigga, we all have a grocery store. just because you know shit 'bout tapioca dont make you some science edge man
there have been a bunch of lawsuits filed and they're probably cranked out of boiler plate
No, man. I have this shit.
time stamp or gtfo
I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying I'm likely to get in legal trouble? Or that I'm not?
oh, then i dont recommend it.
they would trace it back to you before her body hits the floor
You can't be sure. Its not like a felony, but i can be construed as a crime. There are some lawyers out there that will just try to make a case out of the incident and you will get harassed by the legal system.
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
Underrated kek
why? did it sound like 2 sheckles clanging together?
I searched for Jewish dildos and was disappointed. Business opportunity right there.
Spider-dick, spider-dick
Shooting loads out his tiny chode
Is it clean? No it's not.
To busy fucking dirty thots.
Watch out! Here cums spider-dick
This is pretty good in the "offensive" category