Hello, Sup Forums, I am Satan. Feel free to ask me anything

Hello, Sup Forums, I am Satan. Feel free to ask me anything.

How's middle school going

can you speak every language known to man?

fuck off

Ted Cruz?

Why don't you just kill everyone and destroy the universe and god?

Make babies w/ me

sorry for asking but are you natty or did you use juice to get your physique

youre pretty ripped breh but your lats scream roids

Your moms basement is not hell and stale corn chips are not the souls of the damned.

thread closed

wait, this girl at the bar said I was Satan
I'm confused now.

Will you keep my seat warm for me?

since god hates gays and you love what god hates, why are you a huge fag?

nigga you look like a hero portrait for HoMM3

do you suck dicks for souls?

It went well.

Several known to other species as well.

Afraid not

I have no desire to see anything happen to you mortals, and even if I had the desire to do so, I would be unable to destroy God.

No.

I can take any form I wish.

God doesn't hate gays.

Sure.

She didn't mean it literally, user.

Why is Op such a tremendous faggot?

Fuck off Satan. Death to all abrahamic religions.

Kek
You can both be Satan. Happy?

Can I trade my soul for my very own waifu?

in her words "you are literally the devil"
the devil is the same as satan right?

I do not.

No, that would require interfering with another person's free will,and I am forbidden from doing that.

Funny.

Yes, but again, she more meant that she thought you are a terrible person. What did you do, user?

if your satan why didnt you get satanic trips?
>checkmate theists

I'll be waiting at the crossroads today, Satan. Make sure your people come

How much lego can you fit in your nose?

> god doesn't hate gays
I guess you dont understand the word abomination.

but since yiu are OP you're still a huge fag, just not satan

It doesn't hate to be a living person, a body pillow will do

will bf5 be good satan? will we be amazed in 1 hour and 10 min when they livestream the trailer?

>be satan
>not getting satanic trips
OP its time to autokill

this^

Chekem im the real satan not you faggot op

That's really up to you, user.

As many as I wish.

You realize your bible got more wrong than it did right, right?

I can't speak for all of you but I imagine some will be quite pleased.

So close, user.

Tezcaltlipocatl here, WTF pinche colorado doing you out of work pinche huevon !! Go back to pinch people asses before i pinche slap the shit out of you rojito

You don't have the power to defeat me, Pagan.

Would you fuck me hard in the ass if I went to hell

how long have you been running america?

What so you could fit like, 5 lego in?
I don't belive you, prove it.

Hello sir, tell me, what's wrong with /x/ ?

What's the Internet service provider in hell?

and also is there wifi

That's not how Hell works, user, unless you've assraped someone in life.

Oh, no, you humans have been running the show yourselves. Very interesting work, I have to say.

Oh, you of little faith.

It's no longer about discussing the paranormal (being summoning a succubus). Instead it has become a roleplay board. Such a shame, it used to be a lot of fun.

God

Yes

Did u created faggs or was jisus?

Que pinches dijistes ?

Start paking up your shit in a box u fuking emo angel, im going to send you back to the jews culerito.

And let the hell keys to maria when you left puto

Can God create stone that we cant lift?

he****

God made you all.

Yes. Quite a few of them, actually.

i meant
"he cant lift"

Yes, he could, but he could also give himself the ability to lift it. He's kind of all-powerful.

Yes, I saw your other post.

Really, you Pagan Gods are an interesting bunch. Not even the most deluded humans can approach the level of ego you have. You'd think creatures as ancient as you would have a bit more self-awareness.

Do you run the door giveaways?

...

Yes, my brother packs quite a punch. He's commander of the Heavenly Host for a reason.

Pardon?

I just downloaded the game and when I try to connect it says "lost connection to game server". I reinstalled, repaired but nothing. Any ideas?

Ok, respin on my previous question.
How much lego could you fit in your bum?

Meme magic is a bit different from the power I wield.

Sorry, user, I am not here to provide tech support. Perhaps you should contact customer service.

Depends on the form I am in. Now I have a question for you; what is your obsession with legos entering my orifices?

who is in charge of th e nwo mister satan

Some people says that Pope John Paul II fucked litlle kids and now he is in hell. Is that the truth?

whats the strongest demon?

It doesn't exactly have a single leader. It's more of a council of leaders.

No, but someone might want to look into Benedict.

That's a good question. Belial and Lilith are probably among the strongest. Of course, Asmodeous was pretty strong before Raphael locked him up.

please satan invented the first meme by giving us intelligence
>op=huge faggot

You gave yourselves intelligence. All I gave you was a nudge in the right direction. You guys ran down the path and haven't looked back, and for that I commend you.

What's your favorite videogame?

what about those who went down another path?

Satan, can I get a Mulligan? I done a lot of shit

I mean the general path you started down; choosing your own destiny. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they made a choice to no longer live in ignorance. You wanted to see creation as it truly was, and become better than what you are.

And, despite what your bible may say, that's exactly what God wanted.

Donkey Kong 64.

A Mulligan?

Do you hate god for creating you for the sole purpose of being the "bad guy" and have every one hate you.

The satan I read about seems like a misunderstood nice guy that was delt a shitty hand by god for his own agenda.

I love God. He told me long ago what my purpose would be, and while it hasn't always been easy, it's a job I am proud to do.

God rewards good people for being good.
You make suffer bad people.
That means that youre good boi?

what is my purpose?

Can I have 666?

So you go from favored angel to the most damned. For what? Having an opinion or fresh ideas? What would the world look like in your vision?

Y'know, a do-over. I wanna try to do things right next time around. Maybe not kill a family in a cabin in the woods back in Vermont. Idk. Idk what to think anymore Satan. I keep hearing their voices. I can't close my eyes without seeing theirs staring back, cold and lifeless and pleading.

Of course, fuckwit. He's an angel.

Well mr satan if you ever need amy one to talk to I'm here.

Maybe someday.

Do you repent for what you have done, user?

My job is to tempt and test you mortals in the hope that you can improve yourselves. As for Hell, yes, I oversee the punishments of our prisoners.

I am still one of God's favorites. I am not damned, I simply work from the lower office, that's all.

That's kind of you, user.

I'm just messuring up. Might have some nice plush carpets fitted and some of those netted curtains for privacy.
Roughly how many lego do you think you could fit inside your piss stick?

user, seek help.

Difficult to say, I suppose each of you has their own.

Depends on the form I take.

Where are you right now?

Yo Satan, when we gonna get together and smoke a couple of bowls?

Las Vegas

Whenever you end up in the afterlife, user.

why don't we hang out sometimes we can be bff

What do you do in Las Vegas?

Lets just go on the average volume for each form you take. What amount of lego would be enough but not too much for each orofice? Could I take extra lego dependent on your mood? Or should I be minamalistic just incase?

See some shows, meet some girls and guys, throw around a little temptation, sit back with a nice cold drink and see what they do.

Yes, user, I suppose we could hang out sometime.

I would say be minimalistic. Also use megablocks instead.

Nice one

I would like to think I've repented. I feel, I guess, bad? I have not felt what most people call emotion for a long time. I guess I'm what you would call a sociopath. I don't feel, I just do. But I do wish I hadn't done it.

I don't want your cheap knock off! I want to know how much lego I shuld shove up my bum before you are to fag to accomidate it all. I mean if I can't take it with me I might as well let my neice and nephew play with my lego that's left over.

when do i die and how

yeah dude. but drinks on you lol. I'm serious by the way. i've really expected to meet with you.

What Am I doing at this momment?.

describe yourself out of human form.

How's hell today Mr. Satan?

Hard to tell with sociopaths, but if you truly repent you will not face Hell. However, if you don't, you will be forced to live through the pain and suffering you inflicted upon them. After that, you will be given the choice of going to heaven or being reincarnated.

user, I sincerely doubt you will have to worry about me attempting to sodomize you.

Difficult to say, the future is not set in stone, and I am not omnipotent.

One day.

Reading this thread.

Well, I can take the forms of the various other intelligent mortals spread throughout the cosmos, animal forms, forms more akin to how your media portrays me, or as an angel of the Lord.

Hot.

Oh that's not good. I don't want that. I really hurt them. Brutally so. I wish I knew how to feel about it. I wish I knew how to feel...

How can I sell my soul to you in return for the privilege of torturing my whore ex in your domain for all eternity?

can we make it tomorrow and i forms as i want. i need to go my friend birthday. will u join me in female body? drinks on me don't worry LOL.

Bitch, please.
I can fit like 10 lego in my bum.
If anything I'll sodomize you!
Now how many lego?
And I'm talking about the rectangle ones not those faggy square ones.

You will learn.

Your soul is not worth having power over another for an eternity, user. Sorry to disappoint you, but you should really just move on.

We'll see.

Is it true trees were your idea?

I will? Then I repent. Thank you Satan.

Talk about A.S.LaVey and satanic bible he was right or wrong. what happened to you in hell if he is/was in hell?