Greentext thread, bonus if woman hate

Greentext thread, bonus if woman hate.

>be me
>two years ago
>went to uni late and graduated at 24
>28 at time, having great life
>$38/hr electrician
>used to party a ton with frat back in uni
>have a 9/10 grill, been dating for a few years
>not a newfag so not getting married to her
>she has been showing signs, wants me to marry her but fuck that, no halfsies on my cash for you
>she's a pretty good grillfriend, doesn't mind me drinking and staying out with my friends
>awesome sex
>one night going through medicine cabinet for band aid
>notice that most her birth control pills are still in the package, she gets them monthly and it's the 20th
>ohfuck.jpg
>go to Walmart and buy condoms because spooked
>next day we are about to fuck
>tell her that I want to use a condom because it feels better
>reluctantly agrees
>keep using condoms whenever we have sex
>after fucking with condom on one night, notice that there's a break in the tip
>you'refuckingkiddingme.jpg
>tell her about it
>she says it'll be fine, she's on birth control so she says that I don't need one anyway but I disagree and continue using condoms
>go away for a week to Vegas with Bros and have great time
>get home
>advance two weeks
>keep using condoms
>week later, no period
>no fucking way
>advance two months, she's pregnant.
>believe that it was when the condom broke
>asks if I'll marry her
>say yes and decide to have the kid and I'll be a dad, we're financially stable and at a good age
>advance two more months, we're engaged
>be at Walmart, grocery shopping
>run into old uni bro
>talk about the parties that we went to
>tells me if I still remember the coma I was in from when I fell on my head at a party
>vaguely remember that
>tell him that my fiancée is pregnant and I am to be a father
>gives me a funny look
>tells me that the day before I fell into the coma the whole frat had gotten vasectomies and donated sperm
>realize what that means

>oh
>my
>fucking
>god
>no way that this baby is mine
>decide to fuck her shit up
>date of wedding, my big day
>yadda yadda yadda up to the point where I say I do
>say no
>crowd gasps
>smile because they're all right where I want them
>tell both of our families that I have a vasectomy
>color drains from her face
>room that was silent is now deathly silent
>she runs out of the room crying
>I run out too and drive home, pass her on the road, kek she got pulled over, probably for speeding
>get in my house and put the shit that she owned neatly in the driveway
>was about four boxes of stuff since we were only together for a few years and it was my house
>one year later
>look at her Facebook
>mfw her baby is a nigger and I'm not her husband because I said no
>she's no longer a part of my life
>mfw I knew that she had to have cheated on me when I was in Vegas

This is now a meme arrow thread

>mfw she lives in a shitty apartment mothering a baby halfnigger alone and I live in a nice condo and am sitting on a 300k bank account with a 2016 Cadillac Sedan in the driveway with no worries in the world.
>find new grill
>go to sperm bank near college that I went to for my vasectomy
>apparently I donated a ton sperm back in college
>Wife new grill at 33 years old, she is 31
>get her pregnant with sperm from bank
>it works, I now have a son that is actually mine
>life is good

Nice m8, bitch got what she deserved (even tho I would have beat her race-traitor ass).
t. electrician

21

This is true satisfaction

Seems unlikely that you would get a vasectomy then suffer a brain injury that erased that particular memory.

good

>vasectomy
>using condoms
Smells like bullshits on this new arrow meme thread

5 years after coma

Forgot about vasectomy because of coma, read details faggot

>waiting for the wedding

who in their right mind would spend all that money on a wedding for a women they dont even want to marry?

>conveniently falls into a coma the day after a very big life life changing procedure so he can shit post on Sup Forums and then claim he forgot about it due to coma.
>kys

Probably already spent the money fam, you pay in advance for those events

>parents

Assumes that most Greentext stories are true to begin with

I dunno about shit

but i do know you gotta check these dubs

Oldfag here you have a tendency to notice the scar on your sack after a vasectomy. I have one and does not go in noticed unless you never touch or wash your nuts....nice b8 though

1000% happened

OP here, obviously not true story, wrote it for the lulz

"I remember when I was in UNI son, I got my balls snipped and fucked a hooker for a bit. She actually ended up having a negro baby."

"But Dad, this story is fake and I don't exist."

"Shut up son, pretend with me for Sup Forums so I can achieve something or another."

>implying that I do.

Not a hooker dumbshit

>does not go in noticed
The fuck.

9677 hours.

That's how many it would take to save 300 thousand dollars.

That's 1209 working days.

Or about 3.3 years without holiday or weekends.

If you include your living expenses, etc. It would be impossible for you to have saved this much money.

Sorry that your ex is a hooker man. Read in between the lines.

Implying that no raises were involved, and new wife has no job or bank account

Clearly its bullshit. The 300k bank is what fazed you? Having the girlfriend was the telltale sign of bullshit.

Well that wouldn't fucking count would it.

An electrician doesn't make much money. 31 dollars an hour isn't a lot.

that's 59 thousand dollars a year at 80 hours a pay.

Keep taking the bait.

300,000 divided by 38 equals 7,894 hours before raises, or combination with new wife's bank account

lame
how dumb are you/she to fuck a nigger?

Yes, money never lies, it only destroys your insides if you put it in your ass and light it on fire.

If you work on average 40 hours a week at 38 dollars an hour all year, that's 1500 a week, which is 60,000 a year. Living alone you can spend 30,000 a year and in ten years you can have 300k in ten years, the guy was an electrician for 7 years plus new wife's cash

Implying his wife works. She has a manipulated man-slave at her fingertips and knows damn well what a good con-game women have been running for thousands of years.

Okay let's do math.

Let's say he does make 38 dollars an hour and works 80 hours every two weeks.

He'd make 72 thousand dollars before taxes. He loses about 30 percent with taxes giving us a total of 51 thousand dollars.

He was 28 at the beginning of the story and is 33 now so he has a total of 5 years to save 300'000 and pay rent, for his sudan, pay for a wedding, buy a house, etc.

A house costs 200'000 dollars.
A wedding costs 50'000
A new Sudan costs 50'000

He needs to have saved 600'000 dollars in order to have a net worth of 300'000.

If we say he gets an anual pay increase of 5 percent over the course of 5 years,

53625.6
56306.88
59122.224
62078.3352
65182.25196

= 296'000 roughly

Now, monthly payments on housing for his new 200'000 dollar house at roughly 2'000 a month with deductions from car payments and payments for food and wedding

296'000 - 120000 - 50'000 - 30'000 - 24'000

= 68'000 saved.

This isn't rocket science. You're not doing the math correctly.

Never said new wife's occupation, she could be a doctor

Such wasted talent.

That doesn't count towards HIS networth or his bank account. He was trying to say that HIS career was too good for his girlfriend.

His wives income is a different story, but it was implied that the author was speaking only about his personal savings and did not mention a shared bank account.

His wife would still have to contribute 142'000 dollars to savings while still paying off her student debts and working in her residency and starting her own practice. It's not possible.

Wife is 31. 18-22 degree 22-26 med school. 26-31 residency (roughly 50-60k a year earnings.)

I take that as a compliment.

And now I'm realizing how big of a fucking loser I am.

Lads, it's all bullshit, don't waste your time wondering he has 300k on an electrician's salary. Now go fap to traps or that fucking bunny.