ITT: We're all onboard an airplane that's going to crash. You've got three minutes to live. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO?

ITT: We're all onboard an airplane that's going to crash. You've got three minutes to live. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO?

...

Join the mile high club. And with the other 2 and a half minutes Id drink some overpriced airplane booz.

Ask the stewardess for another scotch on the rocks, light a Marlboro and tip my fedora.

sit quietly, wait for the ride to end

I told them there was something on the wing! Some............thing!

I would imagine lots of screaming and people finding god. Hopefully the girl next to me has condoms so we can have a quick fuck before we die

I need to use the lavatory and jer- i mean, pray and wash my hands and stuff in private

Check'd

Find the hottest stewardess possible, kick in the cockpit door, and as I save us all by activating fire suppression, coasting down mere feet over the water, and angling up so that we burn off all our speed without changing altitude. Just as the stewardess and I finish with earth shattering, adrenaline enhanced orgasms, the plane stalls out with no forward velocity and falls three feet straight down. All the other passengers on board are evacuated, except for the 30 hottest women, and while everyone is getting onto boats, a massive, one man, 30 women orgy commences.

>worrying about getting pregnant when youre going to die in 180 seconds
lmao

youre gonna die in 3 minutes just jack off in your seat

do a bunch of flips in the isle while in low/zero gravity yelling THE CHEESE WHEEL TURNS

goddammit, I meant to post

>You've got three minutes to live. WHAT. DO. YOU. DO?

Drag an air waitress into a restroom and force her to give me head. Why not?

grab the smallest softest mew girl kitten near me and insert my penis into her vagina and stay there

start singing

definitely try to assert that im the best by yelling the loudest uninhibited

The God of dubs has spoken. All on this plane shall be given twenty virgins and a 1998 Chevy Cavalier upon reaching Valhalla.

i actually play a game while boarding where i pick out the hottest chick on the plane for just this scenario. if shit goes down, she's getting fucked

mine nigger

>fucking magicians.

Attempt to autofellate while fingering my asshole in full view of everyone. Also, attempt to send goodbye text to my mom. It is Mother's Day after all.

...

Ride a fat fucking rail of colombian bam bam. Punch the person next to me in the face. Take two little airline vodka bottles and tip them up through each nostril. Put my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye.

Try to fuck the nearest chick so I don't die a virgin

look for the nicest vagoozle on the plane, insert my shlingadong into her while hugging her as hard as I can, busting a load over her pubes and laying a turd on her feet while letting out a last moan of satisfaction thinking how great life was.
also order a dram glenfarclas 25
>mfw greatest moment in history of mankind

Switch my phone to airplane mode and keep my bags under the seat

Open the cockpit door and say "I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you"

Surely you can't be serious?

Attack the brunette in front of me and try like DAM to nut.

Dubs checked.

Nothing. 3 minutes isn't long enough to do much of anything.

Laugh at you all. Everyone said I was crazy for always packing a parachute. Now who has the last laugh?

survive with these dubs i rolled

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Kiss someone

Thank the gods that it is almost over.

I'm in 25A, come on back. I've got wine, I'm playing some soft music and have full pillowy lips.

Steer towards the towers

Look for blankets. make parachute. swanton bomb out of the plane to safety.

>WHAT. DO. YOU. DO?
DRUMPF DRUMPF DRUMPF DRUMPF DRUMPF DRUMPF DRUMPF

Violently kill as many people as I can before we hit the ground by using my nail clippers, little shampoo bottles and my shoe laces.

consentual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of releasing my soul happy before the end

kek. I can dig it though. I've had sex more times than I can remember, but I have never killed anyone before.

Wait until really close to ground and jump and roll when I hit the ground. I live you all die.

you couldn't erect is your body was in free fall like that.
>if plane can't get it up neither can you.

Well yeah, I mean the urge to kill is there. But wreaking havoc with items from my carry on will be a nice middle finger to the TSA dicks.

underrated post

This

>stand atop the peanut cart
>loudly and firmly state to the passengers that I have the situation completely under control
>begin masturbating furiously