If you could fuck Emma Watson any time you wanted (and she will be completely submissive and fulfil everything you...

If you could fuck Emma Watson any time you wanted (and she will be completely submissive and fulfil everything you request) BUT every time you fucked her, the next day you would be aggressively sodomised by Tom Cruise... how many times would you fuck Emma Watson?

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I'd fuck her once and have her kill me right as i climax. No tom cruise sodomy for me :)

Any time I wanted? How about 14 years ago.

...

>This
She's too fucking old now, she was tight in the first 4(?) films, but after that no-one decent would.

How many times?

Once a day

can i fuck her with tom cruise?

/thread
except you can fuck her a thousand times that day before the boogycruise comes

zero times

can i get rid of emma watson part?

True, and also
>boogeycruise

edition.cnn.com/2016/05/03/fashion/emma-watson-sustainable-fashion/index.html

So Every time I wanna be fuck in the ass by Tom I have to fuck Emma. That's a tough one.

...

My anus opens involuntarily for Tom Cruise anyways. We could bust a train. My fucking emma in her mouth so she couldn't spout her feminist trash, and at the same time Tom filling my turd cutter with his millionaire meat. Of course I'd have to buy a sturdy step stool, since I am quite tall and Tom is on the petite side.

>>Get to fuck Watson.
>>Get fucked by Cruz.

Where's the downside? Bisexual master race reporting in.

>boogeycruise.jpg
my fucking sides

>violently sodomized
You sure?

So you're saying I could fuck a boy and then get fucked by a guy?

Uhh, thanks but no. I get plenty of pussy without dealing with an overrated twat and a full-blown batshit crazy retard.

sure m8
10 bucks this guy is an oversized neckbeard

How would you be sodomised by Tom Cruise? I need more details.

He sticks his penuis in your anus repeatedly until climax

Could I masturbate to speed up the process?

would fuck her everyday and be a good bitch for tom

Checked and triggered.

I am beautiful and perfectly healthy you cis peice of shit.
Rainbow Dash says so.

Only if he lets you

Do you mean until he climaxes or me?

...

I though summer was around the corner, but yet here's a beautiful and perfectly healthy little snowflake

Him. If you climax that's your own deal. It won't stop till he does.

Okay, maybe 8 times.

>aggressively sodomised by Tom Cruise
Does that mean zero lube and no warm-up? If so, nah fam, ain't worth it.

Seems reasonable

Who or what is a "penuis"? And where can I buy one?

I'd call your set up a double win

...

You know, his penuis. The dangly thing in his boxer shorts.

Depends on Tom Cruise, if he wants lube.

Holy shit zombie referee! I hope Tom Cruise can save us by filling my anus with Emma Watsons penuis.

Do you perhaps mean "penis", son?

> Geez, summer much.

6

That's what I said. Penuis. Maybe it's time for you to leave newfriend.

Scientology forbids lube. It interferes with Xeenu's mind control radio waves.

Okay, but first... Do Penguins have penuises or penises?
Also, you're a fucktard learn to spell.

Says the fucktard drooling over a heavily made-up SJW who wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire.

Guess I'll just have to console myself over this tonight.

I don't fuck feminists regardless of how cute they are. If you do, then you're a fag.

I thought the dangly thing in his boxer shorts was actually his aerial... You know, for talking to Xeenu?

...

They have penuises dumbass. And at least I'm not the retard jumping on the "summer" bandwagon because it makes it sound like I belong here.

Can someone take this kid back to the special ed room down the hall?

But in laymen's terms it's his penuis.

Down the hall? You're still in school?

Loser.

I have been here since BEFORE summer. Since it started.. back in 2014!

I would so eat her out

Oh I see. Penuis = penis aerial?

Shit... I just realized, this means ALL PENGUINS ARE UNDER THE MIND CONTROL OF XEENU

>boogycruise
Topkek

Fuck man I-I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Edgy.

Yes if that helps you.

Have you ever met a penguin in real life? They're shifty little bastards that will fuck you up right after you get done thinking they're the cutest thing in the world. They are the physical collection of Xeenu.

Thank you for this. I haven't laughed this hard at a gif in a long time. My sides are hurting.

Oh shit. I..I didn't know.. I DIDN'T KNOW!!!

I'd cut Tom Cruise's cock off then I'd go at it whenever I wanted.

The message has been delivered. Do with it what you will.

/thread

Dayyymmmm, a megaphone? You know that shits legit.

it is a clock. the numbers represent each facet of men and women, and the cyclical nature of life and death. the 3s at the top and bottom are heaven and hell, the left side is life right now, the right side is this life in reverse. the 2s are women, the 1s and 3s on the right and left side are men.

the 2s are meant to represent the constant nature of women, and the difference between the 1s is "good" men and "bad" men ( in a sexual respect. men who want sex and men who don't).

the numbers are symbolic also for the importance of each gender in their respective lives. on the right side men are more important since they are farther from being similar to heaven and hell (1 is farther from 3 than 2), and on the left side since it is this life in reverse the men who were 1s before are now 3s and are identical to heaven and hell and 2s are instead the superior number.

In this life men are better; on the other side women are better. we balance each other out. the 1 that is being pointed to represents me and my being a "good" man because I do not want to enjoy life, but I used to be a "bad" man and I would've been pointed at the lower 1.

u wot mate?

I'm sorry, but you bullshit emo copypasta doesn't even make sense.

"the 3s" - there's ONE three.
"the 2s" - there's ONE two.
"the 1s and 3s on the right and left"... there's only ONE of each and THEY'RE BOTH TO THE RIGHT.

Excuse me, I have to go suffocate a neighbourhood raccoon now because you made me angry.

Yes. Yes. Now bow before the great messenger you scum.

>men who want sex and men who don't
>men who don't
>don't

WTF?

Sauce on the second part where she's licking her lips?

IIIII am the great messenger's oracle sent here from planet Conkle. Ooooohhh.

Copyfag
Slash them wrists down please

...

go ask tom cruise

...

Is it just me, or does that pic look like he's getting head from Emma?

Oh Snape..

...

Came.

I'd have her eat my ass out

>implying any piece of pussy is worth getting violently ass raped
how is this even a thought? Are you niggers that desperate?

And what makes you think you are worthy of being the oracle to the great messenger?

Came too early my friend.

Thank you Mr Cruise, Sir.

In a word, yes.

Mz Watson doesn't like boipussy

It was foretold by the magical stick of wisdom passed down by the oracles of Conkle.

What old school cartoon is this?
Also, samefag.

Ok. Ok. You can be my oracle. Just don't screw it up.

You will address me as the great messenger you filthy pawn!

Sealab 2021, fignuts.

Tom Cruise would fuck me with such enthusiasm, I'd even ask him questions about Scientology. Emma's just a bonus.

Wait, I thought the other guy was the great messenger now? Who's the Oracle? Which one does Tom Cruise fuck in the ass?

...

So when are going to get the payoff from this whole cult thing Capt- I mean great messenger?

Overrated grill. Obviously 0 times. I can pay for sex every day if i want.

tom cruise only has a little penis so it wouldnt be that bad. after he sodomised me i would hold the little fellow down and have a go in his anus.

...

How did you get in here anyway?

That's the spirit faggot!