Hey Sup Forums so the other night my girlfriend and I tried doggy style and while we were banging I kept seeing her...

Hey Sup Forums so the other night my girlfriend and I tried doggy style and while we were banging I kept seeing her asshole. It looked so tight and clean but whenever I mention anal she gets turned off about it. How can I convince her to try it?

easier to get forgivenes than getting permission.

Legend of Korra?

Haha, i got the whole FINAL, loser

Ok first thing you need to do. Order some muthafuckin chicken mcnuggets. If you wish to know the secret of anal you must start with this quest first.

Didn't work out to well for Kobe

Next thing you need to do is find a fucking brony... shouldnt be ard check out some comic shop stores and lurk and pretend to be brony hip.

Next thing you need to do is befriend him with promises of friendship and bromance.

lick it, eat her out like a savage

Once you've gained his trust. Ask for a super fun play date where you sleep over (they fucking love this shit) tell him no you have your own pajamas.

>bang her rough so she says something like "slow down" or "not so hard" but while she's clearly enjoying it
>tell her all alpha-like "you better take daddy's fat cock or I'm going to stick it in your ass"
>she'll moan, inevitably
>repeat this 1/5 times for the next 20-30 times you fuck
>one time when she's seemingly extra horny rub your cock up and down on her asshole while you finger her pussy
>EVENTUALLY she will cave and want you in her ass

Might have to fuck her 50-100 times before she finally "opens up" to the idea but if you're fucking her right it will happen.

If you don't expect to fuck this chick 50-100 times then bail on her and find a slut who loves anal.

If you plan on being with her for a while just keep it up but don't force it or you'll blow your shot.

Ok so your on the inside. His room is filled with faggoty my little ponies. You want to fucking barf but your not because this will be for the greater good.

Eh, just changed his number and gave money out of court and made a whole generation forget.

Didn't really fuck his life up at all really.

Now this is the hard part. Tell him to chill in his room while you go to the washroom. Actually your going out to talk to his parents. Tell his parents how much his friendship means to you but he was to shy to ask to come out with me and the bros cause he doesn't have money (because hes an inept social retard who only gets out of the house to interact with other socially inept retards)

Doing virtually this same thing worked for me... Also, checked. 5757 counts as dubs I don't care what you say faggot.

Once you have quckly gained favour with his parents ask if it would be alright to have a one time deal of 20 dollars to go paintballing but you will need there credit card information. They give it because they want there son to get some real interaction because playing faggot time with ponies.

Tequila

Because playing faggot time with ponies is wearing away at their mental sanity (much like my grammar and spelling)

So now you have their credit card information. Go back to his bedroom where you see him talking to his fucking ponies like that fucking guy in castaway with the fucking volleyball. Tell him were going to a brony convention (we're not)

Op here, been with her for 3 years. The other night I found out her favorite position is when she's in my lap. But she gets super wicked horny in bed. So if we do doggy again I could probably get her to.

>>Start by gently brushing your tongue over her asshole a little when eating her out.
>>next take breaks from eating her out by having moments of just twirling your tongue in that cavern while fingering that pussy girls love it
>>if she still game then next time you doing doggy put a wet thumb on that little brown dot and massage it gently and the dual sensations will drive her wild
>> after a time or two with nothing more she should trust you and now this is important
>> be going buck wild in her pussy and circling that thumb over that little bumbum vent (now you gotta make it really wet now) slide that thumb completly in while she's in pure ecstasy and she won't want you to stop pounding her and that feeling will drive her wild
>> after this ass play she'll realize if she likes it or not and will be open to anal play or you find you a bitch that is

Why not just put your wet thumb in her ass while you fuck her and she will like it. Keep doing that and get her drunk. She will ask for it at that point

Ok so now you have full access to this kids parents credit card accounts. his dad may be monitoring transactions so we need to do this quick.

Tell brony pal we need to make a quick pitstop to the bank so we can get in on a one time brony fag deal at the convention for free shit.

he is excited but says hes only allowed to spend 20$ dollars. you say dont worry. so you get to the bank and in line. tell brony guy he actually needs to take 10 grand out or 5 or 2 or whatever is just under there maximum limit for a school tuition.

When she cheats on you with someone who actually knows how to dominate her in bed, I guarantee one of the things she will do is anal. You need to start being dominant in other ways, telling her what to do, pinning her hands to the bed, kissing her up against the wall. Then when she's really turned on, stick it in the pooper.

THAT'S how it's done. This is why every girl who cheats on their man does things with the alpha they're cheating on that they would never do in a million years with you. She sees you as the loving boyfriend incapable of ever hurting her and therefore unable to satisfy the most primal urge every woman has: to be dominated.

He says but school tuition has nothing to do with this?wtf are you talking about?

This is where you look side to side all sneaky like and shit and say "Just trust me, I'm part of an elite school much like hogwarts but for bronies. If you ever want a chance to meet rainbow dash you will need to get the proper schooling because you need training to see such a majestic beast and not explode or die from feels"

He asks " Are you sure I can handle it? i always knew she was magical, I just didnt know that I needed special schooling to deal with her"

Thats where you say " All the top tier real deal bronies have had real contact with all the my little ponies but they dont want to say anything because they are jealous and want to keep them to themselves"

Then you say "listen I really like you as a friend and I think you may have a chance at this"

He asks "chance at what"

you say " Well all the my little ponies are looking for a partner but they need a human partner, its just all the ones sent so far are lacking in everything they need"

>kissing her up against the wall

You watch too many movies. Leave your room for once.
This is now a cringe thread. Way to fucking go.

Lol whenever i get my girlfriend drunk she wants to do it.
Just make her go into bathroom before hand and make sure its clean herself(incase shes afriad of it being dirty) and promise her youll lick her poontang and turd cutter

He asks "what do they need, please tell me, I'am desperate to meet rainbow dash in real life , we were meant to be together".

You say "exactly which is why i contacted you in the first place. You are the one i beleive rainbow dash wants to spend her life with"

He fist pumps in the air saying "i knew it"

So he extracts most he money out his parents bank account its around 8k

So now you have a super hyped dillusional brony and 8k

Now is where the fun begins

You contact your russian high stakes poker friends and ask if you can "play the game" they say 5k buy in.

You go to this underground seedy disgusting hotel (brony is asking "when do we get to go to magical pony land", you say just wait we need to do this first)

you take a dark stairwell down to a basement with one table and two chairs. you tell the brony to sit in one of the chairs.

Thanks Satan. I'll have to try this.

OP here, how the fuck did my thread about anal turn into a bunch of nonsense?

where are you faggot?

So your standing in a dark corner of the room while brony is sitting in one of the chairs sweating balls.

A dude comes in with a goat mask and quickly shoots his gun 3 times out of a 6 chamber gun into bronies face. No bullets fired

you just won 5k. now you pick up the bronies who just pissed and shat himself and go across the street to a a childrens clothing store and buy him some cool new clothes.. fucking rad

What's this have to do with anal again?

so now you got 12k and a slightly fucked up brony. you tell him "were so close" which brightens his spritis cause he knows were close to fucking magical pony land.

im getting to it just fucking wait. I told you you would have to go through a quest to know the secret first. fuck.

start putting your thumb in her ass while youre having sex

gross

So now brony chimes in but im hungry. you preparded for this. You pull out your soggy cold chicken mcnuggets for him and say "this will sustain you till we get there"

he gobbles that shit up like a turkey. he feels better.
(optional side quest)
Now you go to the local library with the brony and hit the internet for backpage hookers. you tell him your doing special research in the arcane skills it take to open the portal to magical pony land where he is going to school.

you are a meme. stop.

So you find a real tight small spinner ready for anything (including anal) she agrees to meet with a picture you gave her of your brony friend saying it will cost extra cause he looks like he smells weird. you agree to 3k for everything on the table for one hour.

you take the brony and tell him he has to meet the oracle first which will tell him what to do to get to magical pony land. he says "ok, i'm ready"

you talk to the girl and the pimp first telling them everything to this point and that he needs to get laid knowing hes going to magical pony land. and he will have to suffer the torment of getting his dick wet if he wishes to proceed.

She manages to get him hard as he sits there crying and whimpering "I'm being raped but this is all for you rainbow dash!!!!"

hooker doesnt give a shit and and shrugs waiting for the time to go up.

as he sits there crying like a little faggot he gains a little heart because he must boldy go straight to brown town because he believes anal is the secret key to magical pony land. The real reason though is hes a huge faggot and thinks of anal with ponies all day because vaginas are gross like sarlacc pits.

youre so unfunny its almost depressing

So he mans the fuck up and realizes what a gigantic faggot hes been the whole time and whispers in her ear as shes riding him "just let it happen... for rainbow dash" and just as she comes down for another gravitational push on his cock... he fucking moves his dick a little back.

He blasts her so hard in the anus he takes her scream to know he has completed his quest soon. Now she was ready for anal just not to be blasted so hard and fast so she tries to struggle and get out while hes fully in her

I keked, good show.

He goes full on down syndrome retard strength mode and forces his way in again and again. She eventually realizes she cant get out and that this was a secret fantasy of hers all along.

To get blasted by a full on retard rage mode brony in the ass to fulfill his quest.

meanwhile your on your phone texting on Sup Forums wondering how to convince your girlfriend to do anal.

You realize your life has come full stop.

Everybody does the fucking dinosaur.

Seriously though. Take it from probably the only user here thats actually convinced a non anal girl into anal. Just start using your thumb during sex.

So you're the brony?

No, I'm OP

Threaten to break up with her

Same problem, but roles reversed, boyfriend kept telling me he wanted to do anal, I was like nawwww nigga that shit gunna hurt, he bought me numbing lube at sex store, worked pretty well, and I just went to my happy place during and took one for the team.

Most females won't do anal just solely based on the fact that it hurts like no other. A cucumber-sized penis does not belong in something the size of a paper hole punch.

Yes, they have numbing anal lube at most sex stores or order online, give that bitch a Percocet and you're good to go.

Tell her you will start with a pinky and lube first and slowly move up to more fingers then your dick. Tell her that it stretches and wont be painful for very long.