ITT: work secrets

ITT: work secrets

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Capital One automatically blocks your cc when used in mexico or central america. Fraud alert nothing to do with possible fraud.

Boost mobile is a terrible company. They are the worst company concerning customer service. Even worse than comcast. The reason you don't hear anything about it is because most (at least in my experience) of the people buying boost mobile phones. Especially the cheap $100 ones, barely know how to use a smart phone to begin with.

Some one better have a secret menu for 5 Guys because I need a burger for lunch. Come up with something you fucks.

When you comment my company's page on facebook, I don't mean it when I say thank you for your message.

They smiley emoticons I'm using to sound friendly are fake too.

Also, I don't care about your problems. 50 to 95% of the reply you read has been copy-pasta'd anyway.

Most computer repair shops, who do virus removal charge an outlandish price for something you can do at home with free software. Its also typically that same software that they use to do the virus removal in the first place.

Truegreen will only treat your front yard if they can get away with it.

Most of the replacement parts for cell phone repairs cost under a dollar when you order it in bulk. Things like an ear speaker, or charge port.

Same for me. Most people who come to me with computer or cell phone repairs don't know what they're talking about anyway. if they just knew that the less they talked the less i'm likely to charge them.

Don't order Subway through the drive thru.

Come on, someone has to have the secret formula

The stuff we sell is about 50% bullshit left over from last time

If you buy OEM parts for a cell phone, most of the time they aren't new parts. But used parts taken off a broken phone. If they are new, then they probably aren't OEM.

There are Subways with drive-thrus?

Acranet is shit. Everyone working the files is either underpaid and hates their job or too stupid to know it. Either way, they aren't doing a good job.

I work for a company like geek squad. This is true, the little bit software we use that isn't free is torrented and cracked, and we charge an arm and a leg for something that you likely could have just googled yourself. Most people are too timid/scared of fucking something up to do anything themselves. Did a new PC setup for Windows 10 yesterday, dude payed $200+ for me to put his shit on his old PC on a flash drive, watch his new PC turn on and enter his name, then transfer the shit back and install free antivirus. But whatever, if they're that scared and willing to pay that much, you bet your ass I'll take it.

I work at 3M. Management regularly lets us ship Products that are out of spec, to save money and the time to correct the mistake.

Couldn't agree more. If someone isn't willing to educate themselves about the products they use it is their own damn fault.

You can't go wrong with adding bacon and BBQ sauce.

which company?

It used to be like like that for mechanics too, until drives discovered they could just drive somewhere to get "second opinions". Damn I miss those days.

That goes for a lot of stuff. With DIY you are trading time for money. If you have the time but a poor nigger, it makes sense to spend the time to learn how to shit yourself.
You can fix a lot of shit on your own, but it takes time.

ipads are bound to put a dent in your sales tho
mfw i have no face you jew

The thing with the tech industry and this is that we all charge large sums of money. I charge $80 just to look at someone's piece of shit. Now I do put that towards the repair if they decide to get it fixed. But there is no refund if they choose not to.

they only do that when your nsa travel profile doesn't match up with your current location.

No ipads are great. $10 for a glass screen. and an hours worth of work for $150. Fuck yeah!

When the meat department of a grocery store has chickens that expire that same day, they send them to the deli to be made into rotisserie chickens.

Once those sit on a shelf for a couple days, they're taken back into the deli and made into chicken salad.

Moral of the story: don't buy chicken salad from grocery stores.

well, instead of sneering at people who pay your wages...you should be thankful people like that are around. Or you'd be flipping burgers in a kitchen full of non english speaking beaners

Not really a secret, but doctor's offices purposely over schedule patients because some people don't show up and they expect us to be quick regardless.

I work for Comcast's "promotions" department. Our job is to lock you into a 2 year contract. If you try to cancel the company policy is to give you the run around bouncing you around from person to person until you give up or ideally sign a new contract.

it's like a legal scam or something

preying on people's fears when in front of their computer

I like it

Like gasmask filters?

That's pathetic. Fuck comcast

yeah but those gorrilla glasses get stronger year by year, dropped my own iphone a few times already
original screen is still there

Why does Boost advertise so heavily to niggers?

If you want free stuff from a builder's merchant, like an extra free screwdriver set or something relatively cheap (like £5-10):

>place an order which includes a screwdriver set (so stuff that you need anyway, but include the screwdriver set in the order)
>when it arrives, ring their call centre and say the screwdriver set was missing

Chances are, they'll just send out another free set to you. It requires WAY too much effort for them to check to see if the set was included, as the warehouse automatically picks orders (it's all automised) and is far quicker to just take your word for it and post out a replacement set.

It's not the greatest of tips, but there you go.

that's why one of my best friends is a giant tech nerd, that's how i got a free hackintosh

Thanks. What is even better is the people who are only leasing their phone from their cell carrier. Because it HAS to come back to the carrier in working order. So they have to come see me if they want to get another phone. Same with phones under contract. If they want their phone to keep working within the two years before their upgrade, then their options are me and insurance. And what's sad is that I'm the cheaper option. Especially when you factor in what people pay for insurance every month in addition to their deductible.

My bank blocks any transactions from outside the country full stop, unless I specifically tell my bank I will be in that country between those dates.

I know it sounds Big Brotherish, but my bank would know from my transactions where I am anyway. And 3 times they've saved my ass now. 3 times I've gone to the USA, someone has managed to clone my bank card and tried to carry on using it after I left.

what do u do when i just decide to stop paying?

I used to work for a take and bake pizza company. There was this guy I worked with who did not give a fuck about anything. This one time this annoying black bitched called in an order to be picked up and she was screaming at him through the phone. Before she came in to get her pizza he had performed the Mexican Hat dance on her pizza dough before putting the tomato sauce on it. To put it into perspective we have a ton of nasty shit on the floor behind the line we make pizzas on. All of those nasty grimy meat bits and stale old cheese were mashed into that dough. When he went down the line to make the pizza he put all the meat condiments in his mouth and spit them back out on the pizza. When she came in she was just as annoying as on the phone. Guy did not feel one ounce of remorse about it and I don't really blame him. Don't fuck with people that handle your food, especially if you can't see them making it.

Why?

but there's nothing wrong with any of that.

I don't know. I wish they would stop. They are by far the worst customers I have to deal with in any given day. I mean I'll still take their money though.

>niggers have money they stole from white folks
>niggers are stupid
where is the mystery?

dude don't get overboard with your imagination. I mean I won't believe ppl pay you 100 dollars just so you look at their shit and say "hmm yea it's broken" because since they came to you they know it's broken you fucking liar. It's like coming to car mechanic with broken engine and him saying "your engine's busted" and then charge you 100 I lold

Oh man. The apple hipsters are my favorite bunch. I can charge them $400 for something I would charge $150 or $200 on a windows PC.

Like what? I have like 150,000 dollars in 3m supplies.

i stick my dick in every batch of doughnut dough before it goes through the extruder. so basically youre eating a dick doughnut with chlamydia. youre welcome

No idea they dont produce them at my 3m. We work with big electronic splices for power lines and wind generators that could kill someone if they malfunctioned. Yet we send the shit out the door anyways.

I used to work for Geek Squad, I can't tell you how many people would pay $50 diagnostic for me to tell them their shits broke. Most of the time it's something anyone with some common sense would know just looking at it.

opticians buy Ray Ban sunglasses for less than 30$ (some other glasses cost about 10$) and sell them to you for 150$ or more.

whats your point???

Not going overboard. You're over simplifying it. I don't just give it back to them saying, yep its broken. I do have to figure out what is broken, and what it is going to cost to replace or fix it. For phone I charge $50. And most of the time I can tell them what's wrong with their device without having to take it apart. But anytime I have to open it up there is an upfront cost to them.

I used to work at Office Max and I can confirm. We would pass out all of these "Free PC tune up cards" to customers.

A lot of our clientele were older and more computer illiterate people who would get grabbed by the line "when was the last time you had your PC tuned up?" Obviously the answer is never because who the fuck does that.

They would call, set up an appointment and bring their computer in. We'd run our in house "diagnostic software" which did nothing but scan to see if you had any Office Depot software in it. The less software of ours you had the more "urgent" your PC was in need for a tune up.

Most of the time you end up installing a $70-$150 virus removal and PC clean up package which basically installed some shitty Office Depot anti virus and defragged your computer and cleared your cookies.

The best part is it would give an alert after 90 days telling them their software had expired and they needed to renew which was another $70-$150 depending on what package you got.

That place was a fucking hell hole of incompetencies and exploitation. Never work there ever.


Worst thing that ever happened while working there was some guy brought in his computer for one of those tune ups over a holiday weekend. We had a huge overflow of those tune up PCs and we couldn't finish them all so the ones we couldn't get to we stored in the back lock up room and put a note on them letting whoever came in next know that they needed to be worked on still.

For whatever reason, one of the managers came in, disregarded the note (didn't read it or what, I'm still not sure) and threw the computer into the trash compactor and destroyed it.

Fuck that job so much

Iuse to repair PC/cpu etc on the side for friends family.... what ive learned. Back up data, dont download torrent games that are very popular... for I.E: sims , cods , need for speeds... they always have malware and a good chunk have backdoors included.(rat). Create a restore point if us windows os

jokes on you, I don't eat doughnuts. Fucker

man, I do envy your job. For me, it would be the perfect mix between my deep contempt for people and my inability to be mean to them

I work for Costa coffee (uk)

A sit in small latte has one shot of coffee, a take out has two, same price and no-one is going to bat an eyelid if you get a take away cup and sit in.

That's disheartening. I thought you guys were the gold standard for manufacturing materials like grinding wheels and whatnot.

>kroger dairy department
we dont have it in the back

that you're being overcharged? I mean they pay glasses 10$ dude, you pay them 150$. if you're good with that, i'm fine, i'm one of those who's stealing your money

Yeah. But at the same time it can be a nightmare. Because of the ignorance people have for their devices they don't understand that when I replace an LCD on their lapto, that doesn't have anything to do with their software. They just think, "Oh hey, I paid this guy to fix this, and now its fucked."

Mechanic, Jiffy Lube
> 5 times out of 10 we give you the shitty dollar store oil even though you pay $80 for the premium synthetic.
>6 times out of 10 we wont even change your oil
> Will tell you your car needs all these major repairs when in fact it is just fine $$$.
>Purposely take our sweet ass time to "change" your oil so that you shell out for the labor cost.

what if this is my fetish?

kek, people deserve it for going to jiffy lube in the first place

I've heard that some insurance companies or committees requires doctors to see x amount of patients an hour to receive specific funding/grants.

Our Manager at Ross & Corporate want 2 different things. Corporate wants me to stay and greet people at the door, while my manager wants me to look around the store for theft. We SPS have a specific route around the store where we will and won't be on cameras. Fuckin Ross lol

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.

Our product is 50% recycled stolen shit

youtube.com/watch?v=v0iaWtGEj9o

That's not mayo...

Then go to the place and be a dick. It's all yours friend. If you pay with an EBT and drive an Escalade you will probably get some extra spices in there.

i can assure you everybody knows you get fucked when you buy anything. why do you think being an hero by disclosing this information will crown you SJW??

i actually have comcast, when i see salespeople at the mall and shit it always goes like this:
>hello sir do you have comcast?
>yes
>oh well how do you like your service?
>i dont think there is a worse company i could get internet from. the Internets speeds are sub par for what im paying and all you do its assure me there is nothing wrong when clearly there is and the customer service is complete shit.
>oh im...im...im sorry to hear hat sir, can i try and help??/ maybe you coul...
>fuck off m8

You should make an app that runs when the computer bugs, and it would show error messages like "Computer god is punishing you for watching too much porn, Harold".

That way, they won't even discuss shit with you. The mix between guilt and shame, as taught by religion.

that's obvious, not a secret

As a guy who owns and operates an independent tire tire dealership and automotive service shop that prides itself on being honest and priced fairly, I can't thank you enough for your willful negligence. because of your shitty reputation for taking the absolute worst care of people's vehicles, my business is booming.

you get overcharged by simply buying bottled water..........try again faggot

Maybe not a secret .., but

Worked on several projects with NASA/JPL. While the stereotype regarding their employees is true (they're pretty much all top of their field, never come across a dud), there's oh so much fudging, tweaking and guessing going around. Sure, that's true for most sciences, I guess most people don't quite expect even the best brains to go

> just pick this number, lol idk why, but it seems to work

They still put rovers on another planet, so that kind of stuff might be overrated anyway.

why are you so mad?

He was just letting you know that if you buy ray bans, you're getting ripped off.

I'm an aircraft security supervisor.

Everyone is so lazy, most of the time our equipment doesn't work, we never check the cleaners or caterers for shit they might bring on the aircraft, and even when our equipment works we dont check what set the alarm off anyway.

When the planes are searched it's done in haste because we dont want to be there, and the plane is too fucking hot to deal with, so we skip 50% of what we're supposed to search.

I use a SIDA door to enter the airport, so I can bring whatever the fuck I want into the aircraft, anytime I wanted to, and so can anyone else.

right.........and everything posted on Sup Forums is true.........off to faggot land with you

I'm really sorry to hear that :( Hope you find a satisfactory solution soon. Let me know if I can assist in any way :)
Best wishes

don't forget, when I tell you my problem, you always "understand"

"this piece of shit broke and burned down my house with my children inside"

"I understand sir"

McDonald's has a drive thru

I'm an aircraft mechanic. After a coworker I dislike very much completed a job and signed for it, I sabotaged his work on an aircraft. The this can cause engine failure. Its a passenger plane.

Work with software engineering in a big brazilian company.
Me and a colleague put a backdoor on our main software (over 500 users on same company license).
Still deciding if we sell it on the black market.
Still deciding if we sell

I worked as a lube tech at Jiffy Lube for a while (because Jiffy Lube doesn't have mechanics) and it sounds like either you worked at a Jiffy Lube full of assholes who don't follow the rules or you've never worked there. One of the main things that was forcefed to us every time the district manager was around was that we should go as fast as possible for everything (15 minutes or less in the bay) because some assholes in Seattle could do it in 8 minutes. Secondly, it's almost impossible for you to leave Jiffy Lube without new oil. Literally the first two things that happen is "check" all the stuff under the hood and drain the oil. As far as the repairs bit that really depends on how much your people want to stick their nose in the car owner's business, every coworker I had just wanted to get cars out of the place to the point that we would ignore minor problems rather than have to fix them.

Reminds me of a quote from Star Trek IV:

McCoy: "No, Spock. He means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people's facts."

That is not going to help my fear of flying

same fag

>being a prick to the people that don't have anything to do with the Internet speeds
>Salesman tries to rectify the problem and you tell him to fuck off

Stay classy m8

When you say "take me off your list" to a telemarketer, 99% of the time, they do. Hang up and we'll call you again tomotrow.

That would be fucking hilarious. Though I get blamed for enough shit I don't do, or have any control over. Guess it would be a nice change to get blamed for something I actually did.

took upskirt panties and pussy pics of students. not underaged, but still bad

Rather not say. It's on the west coast though

lol an apple customer who needs work done on their computer deserves it
you literally can't break those computers

I work for a major car care company. If there is a repairable tire on your car, we will puncture the tire on the sidewall so the customer has to buy a $140 tire instead of a $25 patch service

You all fuckers just lost

post and IP address reported to FBI