Feels thread my fellow depressed Sup Forumsrothers

Feels thread my fellow depressed Sup Forumsrothers.

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This is melancholy, not depression. Depression is fucking boring and numbing. It feels like a fucking jar squeezed around your head and everything's 5" away and barely audible. It makes you too tired to do anything all day except take a bath and drink and get on this fucking website

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Bumping w/ my fav

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Every fucking time.

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Bumping with music that related to my fucking life

youtube.com/watch?v=xft_d7n1SwE

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>shit soaked life user here

>live in a town far away from all my family and all the people I grew up with
>no one tries to get in touch with me
>sit in a flat all day everyday haven't had a physical conversation in days
>tried drugs and drinking
>didn't take the pain of loneliness away
>tried making new friends
>not good at making friends have a strange personality
>went back to staying at home and taking drugs and drinking
>tried calling home to parents they have split up and don't have time to speak to me because of all the shit going on
>you guys are literally my only friends in the world and you don't even know my name
>typing this at 5am knowing tomorrow is just going to be the same shit

Everything was fine a year ago, why does this shit happen? I came to university to better myself and all that has happened is everything has gone to shit.
Why is it so hard to just be a normal person? I would end it all if I wasn't such a coward and had the balls to do it.

Same bro

Same feels user it sucks being away from home.

i have something broken in my head

i am never satisfied

i am always empty inside

it is so hard to connect with people

and when i do try to connect, finally, with that one girl, i am rejected

sometimes i get drunk and angry and send the girls horrible text messages and they block me

sometimes i just sit by myself in a hot bath

but always i return to my pleasant numb isolation

it is better to be alone, encased in steely emotional armor and braced by an antidepressant, than to reach out

i will reach out no more

(OP) Well, you guys are also the only people I have to talk to me that won't leave me.

I thank you all for that.

From about 5-6 months ago, my life was all good, until my mother found out I was talking to people on the Internet

She found out about my girlfriend on the Internet and took her away from me.

I miss her so fucking much.

I still have her Kik, and I could text her, but I don't want her to dislike me.

Relatable music to me:
youtube.com/watch?v=xft_d7n1SwE

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>shit soaked life user

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These are the last words Hemingway ever wrote, as part of his memoir of his happy youth in Paris. He was going through electroshock therapy at the time and was losing his memory and his grasp on reality.

"This book contains material from the remains of my memory and of my heart. Even if the one has been tampered with and the other does not exist."

Sorry OP, but it may be time for me to leave soon. Do me a favor and send her a text. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.

I left her, but I am destroyed that she has moved on.

I'd message her man. You don't want to wake up everyday regretting that kind of thing

i dont have a feel image to describe the feels for this i legitimently cried and i havnt done so in a long time

(OP) I left her once before too... It fucking killed me so whenever she took her away from me it ripped my heart out and stomped on it.

I'm not sure where you're going, but I might be there if stuff doesn't get better.
I will text her, one day.

About 6-7 months ago, my life was happy. Then on November 28th, my girlfriend blew her own head off. I've been depressed ever since, almost every night is a struggle, not to kill myself so I can be with her, to end the suffering of wanting her. All I can say is talk to her and love her while you still can because Believe me when I say, your world can get snatched from you real Fuckin quick. I'd give anything to be able to stay another hour with my girlfriend, to send her one more text, to let her know how much she meant to me. Dont let "I'm scared she'll dislike me" get in the way. If she's the one you'll spend your life with, she'll never dislike you. Squishy always loved me. She just didn't love herself enough. So hear I am, a single, depressed, hasbeen fuckwad on Sup Forums giving strangers relationship advice. Fuck my life Sup Forumsro

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I'm crying. No one has treated me with this kindness. Thank all of you Sup Forumsros.

I've thought about her 24/7 for 5-6 months, even in my dreams.

The dreams are the worst.

i know

i know how bad it is

we are always here for you

we will never leave you

keep your head up

I've never loved anyone as much as I loved her. But she's far from my grasp now. I have nothing

Here for you Sup Forumsro. No one else is here for us we have to help each other.

Holy shit.

My 'incident' occurred November 21st, awfully close to yours.

I'll post the Skype messages that my mother sent her if you guys want..
I can't even keep track of time...

I love all of you.

Fuck man. I hope something amazing happens to you man, I can't even imagine the pain your in so I am not going to tell you it will get better but you deserve something good to happen to you.

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stop being me

Roll

Thank you, friend

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Thanks man, It's nice to know someone out there does.

Please do if you don't mind. I could post some pics of her if you all would like.

No problem bros; we have to be there for each other, don't we?

I love you too Sup Forumsro. Its good to know that someone still does.

check your phone

This is the first time I have ever really posted how I felt in a feels thread, I expected to be told to kill myself and ridiculed for it but thank you so much guys, this has been the best night I have had in a long time. Thank you everyone

I keep telling myself that too, but what makes me deserve any more than Veronica / squishy did? I'm just a broken piece of shit that couldn't save her.

>shit soaked life user

check your goddamn phone

Says the faggot with DICK as his last name

Well bros, here it is.

[11/22/2015 6:08:52 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: you're online •~•

[11/22/2015 6:28:27 PM] €: Yea

[11/22/2015 6:29:26 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: You okay?

[11/22/2015 6:30:00 PM] €: Yea why

[11/22/2015 6:30:19 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: you said goodbye and I was worried all day

[11/22/2015 6:34:25 PM] €: Why would you worry

[11/22/2015 6:34:36 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: I don't know

[11/22/2015 6:35:13 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: Matt 2 decided to call me on skype right before I read your message and I started crying on the phone and he didn't notice

[11/22/2015 6:35:42 PM] €: Why are you cryin

[11/22/2015 6:35:58 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: I'm not crying right now this was earlier skdjsk

[11/22/2015 6:36:44 PM] €: Oh

[11/22/2015 6:37:00 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: •^• yeah lol

[11/22/2015 6:42:29 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: um...user's mother? I'm assuming going by the phone call. Um hello..
[11/22/2015 7:01:03 PM] user's ex (o´〰`o)*ﾟ*｡: Hi again. It would be easier if you phoned around 6-6:30 rather than closer to 5, just to make sure that my mother is actually home when you call. That's all, thank you again & goodnight.

[11/23/2015 3:37:59 PM] €: This is user's mom

[11/24/2015 4:17:00 PM | Removed 4:53:02

PM] user's ex : This message has been removed.

[11/25/2015 9:03:08 PM] *** Call to user's ex , no answer.

Send video message ***
[11/25/2015 9:04:09 PM] *** Call to user's ex , no answer.

Send video message ***
[11/25/2015 9:07:23 PM] *** Call to user's ex , no answer.

Send video message ***
[11/25/2015 9:11:04 PM] *** Call to user's ex , no answer.

My piece of shit mom was acting like me... and I watched it all happen from my computer

I FUCKING MISS HER BROS

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I am sure you're a fucking top bloke mate, please don't think like that it will destroy you, sometimes people can't be saved. I am sure that without you Sup Forumsro she wouldn't have fought committing suicide for as long as she had. Whilst she was alive you were the reason she kept fighting, you were her world man. Now you have to live a life you can both be proud of.

[11/22/2015 6:08:00 PM] *** Missed call from user's friend ._.. ***
[11/22/2015 6:08:34 PM] *** Call to Kale , no answer.
Send video message ***
[11/22/2015 6:09:15 PM] *** Call to Kale , no answer.
Send video message ***
[11/22/2015 6:09:25 PM] *** Call to Kale ***
[11/22/2015 6:10:43 PM] *** Call to Kale ***
[11/22/2015 6:10:58 PM] *** Call ended ***
[11/22/2015 6:18:17 PM] *** Missed call from Jake ._.. ***
[11/22/2015 6:21:32 PM] *** Call to Kale ***
[11/22/2015 6:21:47 PM] *** Call ended ***
[11/22/2015 6:21:52 PM] *** Call to Kale , no answer.
Send video message ***
[11/22/2015 6:30:31 PM] user's friend ._.: Ok
[11/23/2015 9:47:11 AM] *** Missed call from Jake ._.. ***
[11/23/2015 10:13:03 AM] user's friend ._.: WHY THE HELL DID YOU NEED ME TO BE ONLINE
[11/23/2015 10:13:24 AM] user's friend ._.: GAHH
[11/24/2015 1:23:26 PM] *** Call to Kale , no answer.
Send video message ***
[11/25/2015 8:30:57 PM] *** Call to Kale ***
[11/25/2015 8:31:12 PM] *** Call ended ***
[11/27/2015 8:03:41 PM] *** Call to Kale ***
[11/27/2015 8:06:10 PM] *** Call ended ***

This is me trying to get ahold of my friend, I probably called 100 times...

I wonder about the future like everyone else. Although while everyone else wonders who they'll marry, how many kids they'll have and what they'll see in their lifetime, I wonder if I'll ever be happy again like when I was a kid. Of course as a kid I didn't realise just how evil the world can be. And so I doubt I'll ever be happy in the sense that I'll be in the bliss of my ignorance. However I wonder if I'll ever feel the same level of content with how my life was.

So I guess I'll post again tonight, although it feels like I keep telling the same story night after night and never get a happy ending. I'm a Senior in highschool, and I planned on killing myself about 2 months ago. I met this girl at the start of the semester who changed those plans. She got me out of my depression long enough to realize that there were things to be happy about. Hell, she asked ME to hang out with her on Valentines day. But you know what sucks? School ends in 2 weeks and she's moving for college next year. When that happens, I will be all alone again. The depression has started to come back in full force, and its worse than I remember. If I make it to college, I will be surprised.

feels

saying goodbye and enduring change are two of the hardest things in life

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Life was simpler as a kid. I remember playing NHL with my dad on our Genesis. Wish I could be as happy as I was back then.

Someone give Max dubs here

Fuck Sup Forumsro, you're right man. Something about that made me feel a lot better. I've been letting her down this entire time. She wouldn't want me to be depressed 24/7, she'd want me to be happy. Just some days its hard, and the nights, especially after 2 when all my friends are asleep are the Fuckin worst. Me in my own head, if you know what I mean.

Max, roll.

Roll for Max

You know what? Im stoned outta my mind and it makes me feel like a real person. I think back to my day and analize everything i did today. How some things could be rude to alot of people. How much of a dick i was. All while feeling sober. I went to get help for my depression but before that before i got help i was a complete fucking dick to my mom. I yelled at her. I told her how i never wanted to see her again. She is the one that takes care of me and i take that for granted. Fuck my dad for making things worse for everyone. My mom has a tumor and here i am taking her for granted. I hate that im not a person that feels anything while im sober. I can only cry when im high. Fuck me for being a complete fucking heartless jackass

Rollin' for Max

Max needs dubs, roll

Rejection sucks doesent help we hang out and were still friends and that i just keep replaying it in my head

I just wish I could tell her what is happening. I don't want her to leave thinking I'm an asshole for pushing her away. But up until a couple of months ago, I couldn't even post about this shit on Sup Forums.

Max, Dubs get :/

:):

Max rolls from the grave

For Max

MAX CHECK EM

Check em', Max.

for max

Max needs dubs

Rolli

Dubs for max

Dubsimus Maximus

You're all a bunch of pussies

Max pls

And you're a faggot. Leave.

(OP) You're just a faggot trying to hide his insecurities by attacking people who are braver than you who show their true colors. :)

Max check em, boi

wow, such a brave guy... just leave

There it is

thanks

check em'