Ask a p-psychologist anything!

Ask a p-psychologist anything!

I'm h-here for you, Anonymous!

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gitgud.io
youtu.be/cn35MVrYX0Y?list=PLtPX9VhRmPnrZF4ZGJqtOASy-k3j4bvxN
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

bump

*hug*

Please help me understand microwave time.

Please

Good morning Alice~ It's nice to see you here again today. Did you have a good weekend?

It's the WEIGHT......of the SEA...the weight of the SEAAAAAAA! DROWN!

Microwave time is just minutes; if you put in 60 seconds, it'll turn into one minute microwave time.

The weird part is, 100 seconds will become...1 minute, because of how the microwave works. It can be a bit confusing.

It wasn't the worst weekend I could imagine; it was okay.

What?

That's a good thing. Mine wasn't terrible, just scrambling to find a present for my s/o. Gonna bake some pastries because I'm running out of good ideas

Did you know Windows' OS time is 5 minutes behind real time? They do this because they want everyone in the WORLD to be 5 minutes early in life.

THE WORLD

Oh? Everyone likes cake and cupcakes and stuff I suppose.

I'm not Sakuya, so don't go THE WORLD'ing me.

Dear p-psychologist,
life is strange and not satisfying. It's not that iam some borderline dude, iam just unhappy with Life itself. Let me describe it, it's like you are buying a hyped videogame and then realize it is SHIT!
What do? Maybe you can give advice

Yeah but he's really important to me and I do not think cakes will be sufficient~

Hm. How about you explain how life is unsatisfying to you? That's not a lot to work with, sadly.

THE WORLD

You...you left me....in the ocean to rot! It's the weight.....of the seaaa!

Hi alice

Welcome back alice .

Don't get suspicion on me me when I enter your chat as a guest please have a good day

What meds should I take to get high?

I'm n-not a maid!

Well, there are plenty of other things you can do for a male s/o. Not that I have much experience with them in recent years.

Hi Koala's.

What name will you use?

None; medication is not for recreation and often has severe side effects.

Murmusa?

I mean of course I'll certainly be taking care of him as best I can, and then some. I just want to make him feel as good as he makes me feel everyday~

So what do you do, when your 9 years deep in a relationship with someone who has saved you from killing yourself, when your parents hate your bf ? And you love your family because they are good people. Just had to aruge on mothers day with my mother. Just woke up from drinking myself to sleep. Also hope your day is going better.

DROWN!

How's was your mother's day, OP? :D

Do anything nice for her?

Renko ,Alice thought i am spying them when you're offline.

Sounds like quite the s/o. I'm happy for you.

That sounds like something to go to a family therapist or councilor for; why do your parents hate your bf?

Let's not get personal Anonymous. Tell me about YOUR mother.

Why do you need safe passage to our humble home?

hard to tell, well i got a real good job, a lovely girlfriend, a handful of real good friends, but i don't get it what is Life about?

It seems i can't get the essence out of it, iam struggling and thinking there should be more.. i feel like there is missing something, it's hard to find words to explain

hopefully you got a little insight

She's alright for a mom. Why don't you want to talk about your mom?

Eh, he puts up with me more so than I can ask anyone to. I'm incredibly lucky.

Just looking for Ika then Alice said that her acc is permanently banned so i will never disturb your home again i promise.

...it seems you are looking for something isn't there. What "essense"? What "more"? What's "missing"?

There are different levels to the "hierarchy" of reality; below you is atoms, molecules, cells, etc etc. Above you is social groups, society, the world at large, the universe, etc.

Stick to the level that makes sense to you; the other ones don't really apply, if you catch my drift.

Mostly because I'm not the one who needs help in this thread, dear Anonymous

How else do your delusions manifest themselves on anonymous message boards?

s-sorry

by far the best advice i got on this, thanks bro
gonna check in next time

Eh? Then why would you need to come in? Ikarous is not welcome there, due to her telling someone to kill themselves to join a friend who committed suicide.

What delusions?

Why do I constantly have this crippling anxiety and fear that everything I have is built up on air and will fall with the first gust of air

*in an hypothetical scenery where enhancing "your" life span could be an actual possibility by producing clones of yourself that are you but at the same time not you, would you do such a thing?*

*rubs the back of her head* And here I thought I was a little too succinct and uncompassionate. I'm glad it was useful for you, feel free to email me at [email protected] for a more detailed description.

I'm just still waking up.

No, I'm more into genetic engineering; replacing mitochondrial repair mechanisms to reduce oxidizing damage is something I'm investigating currently.

*wraps her arms around* You are safe Anonymous. The world is not permanent, but it is not so impermanent either. If you are experiencing such intrusive thoughts, please seek a doctor; these sort of things are highly treatable.

I will never tell it.

how do i git gud

Then I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry...but I cannot help you.

Without trust, there is nothing I can do.

gitgud.io

koala's are the most effective way to treat depression imo [only kidding (sorta)]

what sort of movies do you like Alice?

How do i cure the cold, over whelming grip of anxiety i get when i think of my own death. I know this is the end result for all organisms but i can not cope with the thought of nothing, blacking out and becoming nothing my chest sinks with the very thought. I am stuck in this miserable exsistance between living a meaningless or other wise redundent life , or kill myself and evaporate back into the universe as a small collection of energy (best case scenreo)

Please help me. I am so terrified of things just breaking into pieces underneath me, I can barely think half the time. When I'm not crying, I'm stuck in my head telling myself that it (my life) won't fall apart like I fear it will, and even though I tell myself this, I do not believe it.

It's alright :) glad you came back again.

I've had reason recently to ask explicit permission about bloodletting. If we were in a room of people with necro, and I'm anointing a Hot-Vessel Cadaver with formaldehyde, am I quaint in asking permission to extract Fluids at each step of the way?

By realizing that once the universe reaches maximum entropy and experiences heat death all your causes for anxiety will be irrelevant and no longer exist.

Horror. My favorite movie is The Thing.

See here:

You are concentrating too much on levels of the hierarchy where you don't really belong.

If you are experiencing these intrusive thoughts too often or they are impacting your life, seek a therapist; they can help you refocus onto the hierarchical levels that actually apply to you.

I'm here every weekday; weekends are for working on my game.

*gently kisses your cheek* Like I said Anonymous, seek therapy or medical attention. Such intrusive thoughts are easily treated; you just have to try.

Can you rephrase the question?

Not necessarily going to happen.

once you have come to that realization, you've gotten to the fun part. you can start living you life like a game knowing that nothing matters. of course try not to break any laws but you can disregard any and all anxiety now.

enjoy yourself in the game

I feel slightly uncomfortable asking, but short someone revealing a secret I've missed I don't have a way to tell the difference. And what if this is a group killing frenzy and my bloody hands are just two of many?

Yeah, if people could just disregard anxiety, we wouldn't need beta blockers.

Alright guys, I need to go to work.
See you again at 8PM EST, after dinner.

Email me at [email protected] if you need help during the day

With love,
Alice

This is ruining my life. I cant do anything I want to do because i am fucking terrified of the foundation i've laid, though unstable, crumbling and throwing me into crippling depression and anxiety. I'll seek help, but I always feel like I'm on the verge of losing my home, my sanity, my relationships. I don't know how to not think i that everything I have is at the risk of falling to pieces.

How do I stop lying compulsively without therapy?

youtu.be/cn35MVrYX0Y?list=PLtPX9VhRmPnrZF4ZGJqtOASy-k3j4bvxN
>inb4 shit taste

o how interesting. I've noticed more younger women are into horror movies now; I wonder why that is?

I haven't seen The Thing (i don't watch a lot of movies) but i'm home sick today and bored so maybe ill try it.

*How much would you be willing to change your structure in order to achieve a longer life? Would you accept losing your humanity in order to do so?*

Why do I like handjobs so much?

hey man what's up and nice trips

good bye bye, op

Possible. But i already knew nothing matters. -_-

cuz your mother knows your body better than anyone else ;)

Ever since I broke up with my ex I can't stop doing self destructive things. Why am I doing this to myself?

*Oh i've noticed that just now thanks to your comment, i would have preferred satanic trips more but you know the saying, beggars can't be choosers.*

what movie is that?

You right user anyways see you later my phone will die in seconds .

Its called We Need to Talk About Kevin

*Farewell.*

Why do I feel like no one will help me with this mental disorder that I have had for years but have never told anyone about because of how bad it is viewed for having it by society?

thanks

that guy jerking off is really cute.

No such thing as humanity, that's just a word we made up to feel better about being animals.

Because you are an idiot who didn't seek therapy.

The remake is infinitely better :^)

yes, yes he is
>~~no homo~~

Don't lie to the good user

thats something that doesn't happen very often

>are you joshing me brother, dog?

can you please describe to me the psychological effects of cactus masturbation? i have watched my much younger sister masturbate with a cactus on multiple occassions and i want to understand how such painful stimulation may be affecting her pscyhologically

Go to a country that has proper treatment programs for paedophilia.
They probably have it where you are too tbh.

U wat

guys shouldnt be allowed to be that cute

op here, i believe cactus masturbation leads to severe autism if i recall correctly

I know, right? The Thing, The Wicker Man and the Star Wars prequels are the only examples I can think of.

Don't pretend to be op

hes not just a pretty face, the movie is very interesting too :)

hah i want to have his babies, gosh!

The weight of the sea, it rhe WEIGHT of the SEA!

You sound gay or like a woman
Either way fuck off

i'm straight and not a woman :)
just able to appreciate an attractive person when i see one.
>not sexually attracted to him just not delusional and insecure either

thats an interesting view point.
i always wondered if it was bi of me to find some men to be attractive even if i have no romantic or sexual interest in them

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Can you check em

...

i dont personally believe its bisexual to find them attractive.
the definition of bisexuality is romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females
>finding them attractive is none of the above :?

Why do I still fuck hookers long after I got married?