I plan on killing myself but I'd like it to be as painless as possible...

I plan on killing myself but I'd like it to be as painless as possible. I'm facing a 1 year or 2 in prison for a felony of aggravated assault even though it was self defense.

smoke a marijuana cigarette with cyanide on it

Tell story op

I don't think there's any way of me obtaining cyanide.

2 years? oh no better give up 40+ years of your life instead

you're killing your self over a 2 year prison sentence? Fucking pussy.

Sit in a car in a inclosed space

Do you not have a lawyer bro? Unless you really went batshit on that nigger you should be able to get off with probation and anger management and shit. Assuming it's a first offense, at least.

drink visine

Go sit in a car, put a hose inside the exhaustion pipe and the other end of said pipe in one of the windows. The car has to be in a garage. Take a lot of painkillers and start to drift away.

And livestream it for us

This girl told me to come over to a guy's house and that she would be sleeping till I got there. I went there after work. I got there and he went to go wake up her. I sat there for a good bit and it was pure silence in the house. He came back into the living after a bit and told me he tried waking her up 3 times. I called him out on his lie because I never heard him speak or even attempt to do such a thing since the house was silent. I tried to walk past him but he assaulted me. At this point, I tried to talk to him to allow me to talk to the girl. He assaulted me for a 2nd time and then asked me to leave. I then tried to walk passed him a 3rd time and he assaulted me once more. I managed to break free from him by telling him to let me go and that I would leave. When he let go of me, he was standing in between the door and me. I asked him to please let me leave. He said "Oh, now you want to leave." At this point, I was starting to get afraid. I tried to make my way to the door but he proceeding to assault me once more. The man is way bigger than me. I carry around a box cutter for work. I had it in my pocket. While I was attempting to unlock the door while he was attacking me, I got afraid and stabbed him with it so I could buy myself some time to escape.

This and continue shitposting while you wait. I'd like to see a play by play.

RIP

Any car that was made in the last 30 years has a catalytic converter in it that doesn't produce in that situation unless you find a way to remove it.

can someone confirm this?

Exit bag

>assuming USA
run over the border, start a new life

Lawfag here: Take it to trial. If you aren't full of shit, the jury will acquit.

I used to work for Dish Network and one morning every van in our parking lot had had the catalytic converter removed. I think there's platinum in them is why people do that. But yeah he made it look pretty easy to accomplish is the point.

drive off a mountain road

Continued........

When I managed to get outside after stabbing him a couple of times. He chased me down and I tripped. He then got on top of me where I had to defend myself again. The girl had come outside right around the time he walked out to follow me. I managed to get him off of me. I ran to my car and locked the doors. He punched through my driver's window. For some reason he walked toward his house. I had dropped my phone, keys, and sunglasses on his front porch when I stumbled outside. When I attempted to try and get it off of his porch, he broke my phone. The girl gave me my keys. He chased me again but I was faster than him this time. I got in my car and parked it outside his property. When I received my keys, he told me he was calling the police.

crushed cherry pits, trust me

...

>after stabbing him a couple of times he chased me down
OP is fat and cant outrun someone who got stabbed multiple times

That sounds like a pretty painful death.

Rent a motorcycle and go top speed into a wall or any object really.

Can't you afford Google?

I live in Florida. There isn't much mountains here.

He managed to chase me down because I tripped.

STOP THIS
Helium is mixed with oxygen now so it won't work, Faggot.

Dark/deep web. If you wanna die you have nothing to lose.

I had saw this during my research. I was thinking of trying it.

You were willing to stab someone...you'll survive in prison.

First person that fucks with you fight them.
Punch first
Theyll see youre willing to fight for yourself
You almost definitely wont get raped

Drop hanging. Look up all hope is lost website it tells you everything you need to know on killing yourself. But please don't.

why?

Most important detail livestream it puhhhlease. You're a pussy lol I did 20 years in prison for executing someone

That sounds painful though.

I don't want to go to prison. I told myself a long time ago that I would kill myself before I'd ever go down that path.

Edgy insecure fags have to talk about fake suicide over and over all fucking day.

Damn, you're all pathetic. Get it together.

That's what I was going to do. I was going to write a letter and do it tonight. I tried looking for the website. I couldn't find one that matched your exact word.

I was going to try and hire a public defender. It is my first offense for a felony.

Get your own lawyer unless you're broke. There are good PD's out there but the odds of you getting one of the ones who care are not in your favor.

I only have $800. I was thinking of just shooting myself. Seems better than hanging myself.

Dont kill yourself you little bitch. How would you go to fucking jail for this? Unless your lawyers retarded its self defense. Also he punched through your fucking window. The guy was a crazed lunatic or your a liar. Nut up bitch boy

Well, I was inside of his house whenever I defended myself with the box cutter and in his yard. I believe the Florida Law allows you to assault or badly injury someone, as long as they don't die unless it is out of self defense, if they are on your property.

you'd have to be trespassing in order for that to count.

>ask someone to go on your property
>shoot the person
>lulz

The cops told me I was trespassing after he told me to leave for the first time.

mfw you actually tried to and he wouldn't let you

this case is bogus

So, if I take this to court then I'll have my charges dropped?

if the court buys your story, of course.

she invited you in. you could make up something about being concerned about her etc, to explain your first persistence.

for the rest of it, he attacked you and you defended yourself with means necessary/at hand. since it's your working knife and a typical one as such, it would be pretty unreasonable to imply any harmful intent of yours in bringing it.

That doesn't sound too reassuring.
I really was concerned for her which is why I was persistent.

both me.

get a decent lawyer, let that shit hit court.
unless she backstabs you, you'll get out of it.

She told me to call her when I could. I called her earlier and she was with the dude that I defended myself against. She was asking why I stabbed him. I hung up immediately when I knew she was with him. She tried calling back but I didn't answer.

welp. try clearing up things with that Блять
А ну, чики-брики и в дамки!
else, cyka times ahead