?Superpower thread?

?Superpower thread?

You are bulletproof every 13th time you are shot

I can make bread in my abdomen but it must be surgically removed each time.

Input poorly written 50 cent joke here

you can fly -5mm above the ground.

> Shoots self with bb gun 12 times

Should've been more specific

>shoot myself with a nerf gun 12 times
>now I'm prepared if I ever get robbed

DAMN YOU FUCKING 2 SECONDS BEFORE MY POST YOU FUCKIN DICK

You can breath under 1000 tons of water but you still have to deal with the pressure of the water.

I have to fire twelve shots before i can hit.
you are my arch nemesis.

I have xray vision. I see through everything.

I have non sterile sperm . That means I can cum inside bitches without getting them pregnant

I can guess anyone's name, as long as it's Randy.

>under 1000 tons of water
so about an inch under the surface of the ocean? The entire surface of the ocean must be at least 1000 tons of water right?
Technically you'd be under it.

or better yet, make a huge hole in a mountain, fill with water, exactly 1000 tons now you can breathe under water, just about anywhere you want as long as it is lower than the mountain.

so you mine as well be blind.

>fireproof, but you still need to breath

In which case you'd already know their name, because you'd be unable to guess it.

Retard detected

I can go back in time 0.1 ms

Be able to stop time
As long as you stop moving.

knowing that your name is not Randy does not tell me your name.

kek

No I just took what was said at face value.
maybe you shouldn't be so illiterate and actually word it properly.

so you can hover over water only getting your feet wet?

Its preety nice superpower its like superhuman reflex

I have the ability to Teleport but die in the process

...

Infinite food - solves hunger problems

I can see through women's clothing but only while screaming at the top of my lungs.

haha

I miss read, sorry
I thought it was "I can guess anyone's name, as long as it isn't Randy"
I need to pay more attention

so the game SuperHot?
why not just keep doing it then?

Been playing some Overwatch I see

No, because the moment you move to do anything, time starts again, even movement of your eyes would undo the effect.

do what they do with cows and leave a open hole in your side

Awesome strawman,
I never said i was trolling, i said you are illiterate

im able to catch any grammatical error, but when i point them out im a faggot.

play it off as extreme social anxiety.
you just keep having panic attacks when you see pretty women

travel to the future 1 second after 1 second for your whole life

so you age twice as fast. that sucks dick.

Kek

Imagine if writers were like you...
"Why didn't they just ride the eagles into mordor?"
"You're a retard that's why!

unless u hit with a shotgun and in this universe each shrapnel is a shot

this means your organs as well!

The point is it's a shit power

that means even falling from the building or a plane, you won't die.
seems good to me

so when you die, time stops forever.

...

Fallacy after fallacy, are you a feminist perchance?

what's the point when you only fuck traps and shemale

>Drink 12 shots of vodka
>Be bulletproof
>Drink another 12 shots
>Rince and Repeat

Be able to shoot cum at any moments notice .

>I'm

Im a man, but i agree with feminism
/thread

You can kill yourself at any given moment!
What a great power!

faggot

Ice powers

Now you have to live in either north/south pole to be able to survive.

>summon any video game, book, or movie character
>they immediately try to kill you and have 5X more strength than expected, ranged and melee weaponry has no effect, you must defeat them in fist to fist combat, only after you knock them out do they act in character/ regain normal human strength levels

The ability to regenerate 25% of my body everytime 50% of my body is destroyed.

to hear the thoughts of every creature in existence capable of having thoughts each as a loud shrill scream inside your head

invisible when no one is watching u

The power to see the future, but only while you're looking at clocks.

can I teleport others ?
that means I can easily kill anyone

Well, if someone fires a shotgun would you say the shot it once? or 12 times, because there are 12 balls in the shell?

being shot is having someone shoot your with a firearm, not having shrapnel in them.

standing in front of a fragmentation explosive isn't being shot, but it is having shrapnel launched into them.

You can cure yourself of any disease

but you have to concentrate the disease into a limb and cut it off. How much you need to cut off depends on the disease.

I'm black so this works for me when I get pulled over

able to shit golden drops but only in Detroit downtown street corners

No.
>Take corpse
>Put it in one of those vacuum seal bags
>Attach to windmill

Problem solved.

Oh no, you got me

Yes I am Anita Sarkeesian

you can walk on water but only if the water less than 6 feet deep

fucking einstein over here saved us all.
hopefully you can act quick enough.

Explains the constant straw manning and inability to admit ones mistakes.

hail satan

Thank you sir. I try.

Satan detected

i can summon dubs but only one post before 404.

worth it, just carry a watch and hold it up when you want to see the future
you can't watch an invisible person, after the first time becoming invisible you'd stay that way
worth it.

Wouldn't a more permanent solution be to put it on a rocket and launch it into orbit?

waitaminute, nigger.
technically we are always moving since the science fags think the universe is infinitely expanding.

ability to glow in the light

That depends, technically it would be moving but I feel like it would be risky to leave his body flying around so it can crash into other stuff and get destroyed or burned up in the atmosphere. I mean this is stopping time we're talking about, we really can't take risks

alright, edward

you jest, but you can buy glow in the light stuff. it was even a fad for a short while. It'd be an amusing ability

what a tamality

I mean if you really wanna get technical, the earth orbits around the sun, which orbits around the Galaxy, which orbits around shit we don't even know about yet, so even in death he would still be moving in a sense. Not autonomous movement though.

You can breath fire but, none of your body is fireproofed.

huh, i suppose everything is moving at the molecular level in any case, and or relative to everything else.

Expect no strenght make all the waifu mine

you mean stuff that absorbs light in the light and glows in the dark? Cause he just said its glow in the light not glow in the dark :/

Your base penis length grows 8 inches for every minute you are erect.

you can fuck anyone you want, but if you are caught in any way, your pee pee falls off forever.

The ability to have any movie appear but they're all for vcr

What is this meme?

But 1. you have to be looking at a clock and
2. you are therefore seeing the clock in the future.

God is always watching. You're fucked. Also can't you already do this? I mean if you're fucking just anywhere the goal is usually not to get caught...

ability to spit acid but only when you are facing directly against strong winds.

>every time your hatred for minorities comes to mind you grow some black hair on your lip.
>Eventually giving you a hitler moustache and once you have gained the moustache you gain the ability to summon mustard gas or a MG42
>You can only use these weapons as long as your hatred for minorities stays on your mind the whole time
>the longer you use this ability you increase your odds of contracting syphilis or getting overwhelmed by slavs

>non sterile

Ok

You always have the right, but everything you say is wrong.

true about god.
maybe i wasnt clear enough. i should have specified that being caught at all would include people finding out about your ability.

ability to not shitpost only every site other than Sup Forums