So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing...

So I moved to my own place a while ago. How to buy toilet paper without the cashier and other customers laughing? I've been using kitchen paper until now because I'm afraid.

Wear a mask

this again?

Why would they laughing to you?

demand they give you tp for your bunghole

wear shirt over head as disguise

To save the implied embarrassment of admitting to wiping your ass, simply go up to each shopper and say, "Don't worry, I'm gonna wank with these, wouldn't want to get my hand pregnant now would I? LOL" and actually spell out L O L. They'll appreciate your honesty and not even once imagine you wiping your ass with TP.

If anyone challenges you about it, tell them that the tampons your mum makes you wear keeps all the bad poopies in and that you're no poopie babbeh.

kek

Buy a shitload of Tampons and no one will notice the TP.

Lmao

Your insecurities are so great that you even think only you poop, and you are afraid to lose the respect of a mere department store cashier..

The cashier will mindlessly scan it through while they stare at the clock counting down to hometime.

Try going outside. You are not the only person who wipes their asshole.

I had this same problem when I moved out. I usually just use printer paper. Recently found out that cardstock is actually better. It's kind of like a "heavy duty" toilet paper, and you can use the same piece multiple times before flushing out so it saves money in the long run

how autistic do you have to be to not purchase essential things?
We all shit n piss nigga. Nobody's laughing at you.

OP if you go to an office supply store you can buy big rolls of receipt paper. Works pretty well. I mainly just keep it in the bathroom for emergencies when I run out of notebook paper

Kek'd

Everyone replying is a huge newfag. This shit is copy pasta

Why would they laugh? Where else would you buy toilet paper?

Steal from public toilets and bars, simple.

you want an estrogen asshole bud?

Its easy: stop pooping. Then you won't need it!

There are methods for fully utilizing the nutrients in your food so you don't produce any waste other than sweat and urine. Most of the solid waste you produce (poop haha) is leftover because your body can't process it before it starts to go bad. That's why it smells sometimes, too. It was good for us when food was less sanitary, because it meant we could flush out our systems when we get sick, but with modern sanitary conditions, pooping is unnecessary unless you're sick.

One thing you can do is keep it in your body longer, so it gets fully absorbed before it gets the chance to come out. Try taking 2 Immodium capsules at every meal. This will slow down your digestive tract.

Another thing you can do is help your body break down the nutrients faster. Your stomach is normally very acidic, so chances are, if you're pooping, it's not as acidic as it could be. This can lead to other problems too, like indigestion and fatigue. But thankfully there are a couple solutions too. Try drinking a quarter cup of bleach diluted in two cups of water every morning and night for two weeks. Ammonia is also good substitute if you don't have bleach around. I've got a friend who swears Hydrogen Peroxide works wonders for her, but I haven't seen anything about that. I use bleach myself.

There are a couple other things you can do, like replacing most grains with white rice, that will help your body make use of nutrients much more efficiently. I hope I was helpful for you today!

Since of Mericans of living of an exigency/emergency of a technology so I am of communication of spiel of technology of text of:_"-------\_
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body muscle movement caused/since of energies at human caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity of in of body so...body muscle flexing of human of living of tensing/slackening of muscle;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.
_/-------"_:-_
I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of technology of body muscle flexing caused of energies of machines far of miles:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ . I am of communication/answer/reply of letter of word of language of text of:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of brain of body of since of human of living of brain of body of since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of language of words of anything/everything/eachthing/allthings of human of living of _{-\_[-\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles _/-]_{--\_[--\_ and _/--]_ and _[--\_ or _/--]_/--}_[-\_ flexing of muscles so of living of muscle of nearer and and or farther of muscle _/-]_/-}_/]_:-_/"_:-_ .

take metamucil
poo will slide right out without leaving a trace
like a ninja

but then you have the embarrasment of buying metamucil

Or oil up your bunghole

The same way you buy condoms, lube and cucumbers.

>2016
>answering seriously to stale bait

Self checkout.