I will read the first 25 posts ITT in Dr. Doofenschmirtz's voice and then post the vocaroo link

I will read the first 25 posts ITT in Dr. Doofenschmirtz's voice and then post the vocaroo link.

If you guys like it, I might do more after that, but it's quite taxing to my voice.

Other urls found in this thread:

vocaroo.com/i/s1pQAlaeUg77
vocaroo.com/i/s0dgd79HIkU7
vocaroo.com/i/s05DPSIdhNml
vocaroo.com/i/s1NOfh5y7xfH
vocaroo.com/i/s1E1xoJ05bFz
vocaroo.com/i/s17y5kDeyOkL
youtube.com/watch?v=RkZkekS8NQU
youtube.com/watch?v=wuXV2N63QXw
vocaroo.com/i/s08WwQcDJWWe
vocaroo.com/i/s0FQre0p8ZfQ
vocaroo.com/i/s1qlLVNewlSz
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Trump2016

FUCK MY TIGHT ASSHOLE, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!

bump

You're so kawaii desu, senpai! Nyaa, uguu ~

penis-enlarginator

Now that I have you trapped Perry, it's time to collect some of that delicious platypus cum of yours.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

I just wanna hear you talk

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? WHERE ARE WE? WHAT ARE WE? WHERE ARE WE GOING? WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHERE DO WE COME FROM? IS THERE ANY PURPOSE TO OUR EXISTENCE? DOES ANYTHING MATTER? DO WE EVEN EXIST? ARE WE JUST THE FIGMENT OF A LARGER BEINGS IMAGINATION? IS THERE AN AFTERLIFE? ARE ANY OF YOU REAL? AM I THE ONLY REAL PERSON? ARE THE REST OF YOU JUST FIGMENTS OF MY OWN IMAGINATION? AM I A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINTION? AM I THE FIGMENT OF SOMEBODIES FIGMENT OF IMAGINATION? IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY? ARE WE ALL ALREADY DEAD BUT JUST HAVEN'T REALIZED YET? IS THERE A PAST? IS THERE A FUTURE? IS THERE A PRESENT? ARE WE ALL JUST AI'S LIVING INSIDE OF A SIMULATED UNIVERSE? WHAT CAME BEFORE US? WHAT CAME BEFORE THEM? ARE WE THE ALIENS? IS THERE ANYTHING FROM STOPPING ME FROM PULLING THE TRIGGER RIGHT NOW? IS THERE TRULY A CONSEQUENCE TO EVERYTHING? OUR EXISTENCE IS FUTILE. OUR EXISTENCE IS USELESS. WE WERE A MISTAKE. WE SHOULD NOT EXIST. WE ARE ABOMINATIONS. I DO NOT WANT TO BE APART OF THIS ANYMORE. KILL ME, END MY SUFFERING, THERE IS NO POINT TO ANYTHING, WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE REGARDLESS, SPARE ME OF THIS USELESS EXISTENCE AND END MY EXISTENCE, THERE IS NO POINT TO IT, LIFE IS SUFFERING, DEATH IS THE ONLY SOLUTION, SERIAL KILLERS, MASS MURDERERS AND DICTATORS ARE THE TRUE HEROS OF THIS WORLD, CUTTING LIVES SHORT, FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK MY LIFE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, I JUST WANT TO DIE, PLEASE KILL ME, END MY EXISTENCE, THERE IS NO POINT TO IT, LIFE IS TORTURE, LIFE IS SUFFERING. FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I will brutally murder your family. Twice.

Tl;Dr

The holocaust was fake

Hitler did nothing wrong, Perry the Platypus

My mom likes sodomy

(You dont have to use the parts in parenthesis)
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm...)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

Perry you newfag.

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.

Give me your sperm Perry

Perry the fagapus welcome to my asshole

Me new trapatron will burst your body with female hormones to fap to!

Subscribe To FireMonkey Today ;D

OP here

First 5 posts:
vocaroo.com/i/s1pQAlaeUg77

More to come

AUTISM

I've paid my dues
Time after time

I've done my sentence
But committed no crime

And bad mistakes
I've made a few

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face
But I've come through
(And we mean to go on and on and on and on)

We are the champions my friends
And we'll keep on fightin' till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
Of the world

I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that
goes with it
I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race
And I ain't gonna lose
(And we mean to go on and on and on and on)

We are the champions my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
Of the world

We are the champions my friends
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
Of the world! (We are the champions of the world)

Top kek

I'd fuck my mom is she's was 12

Yo that's pretty fucking cool.

Faggy the fagotpus.

I haven't laughed so hard in fucking months
Oh my fucking god OP you have made my week all that much better, my sides are in orbit
Godsend=OP

OP here
Next 5:
vocaroo.com/i/s0dgd79HIkU7

These really strained my voicebox. Sorry about the cough

Off my fucking god op I love you. Op was legendary today.

I love you

Thanks for the laugh op, i needed it

vocaroo.com/i/s05DPSIdhNml

OP here

Third Set of 5. Damn I think these aren't as good cause of how long the last set was. Damn gotta get some water

Don't let the thread die, I'm loving every second.

Sorry about making you cough, you seem like a pretty cool dude

Bubump.

OP here

Penultimate set of 5. This one's a short one:
vocaroo.com/i/s1NOfh5y7xfH

No worries dude. I'm the one who said I'd read every post. I should have given a word limit or something

Holy fuck, this needs to be a thing

Life is good.

Oh my fucking god OP, whenever one needs a laugh look no further, bookmarking this shit for a rainy day
Thank you for gracing us with your presence and abilities

I fucked hilary Clinton in the ass and got shit all over my dick

OP here LAST SET:
vocaroo.com/i/s1E1xoJ05bFz


How many people are actually lurking ITT? If more than 5 people respond to this post, I'll know that it's worth it to do another 10.

What do you say guys?

Go for it man, these are awesome

1 here.

Sure, sounds fun

well of course

Holeeee Shieeet
YES!
A MILLION TIMES YES!!!!

I'm more than 5 and lurkin

>vocaroo.com/i/s05DPSIdhNml
:) thank you

These are great btw

Alright! The crowd has spoken.

Here's the next 5:
vocaroo.com/i/s17y5kDeyOkL

OP here. I'd do more, but I just realized I ran out of material.

You guys need to post more things you want me to say to keep this thread going.

I love you OP

hope you'll still read this. meth recipe:

This is the new formula for methamphetamine: a two-liter soda bottle, a few handfuls of cold pills and some noxious chemicals. Shake the bottle and the volatile reaction produces one of the world's most addictive drugs...

Drug users are making their own meth in small batches using a faster, cheaper and much simpler method with ingredients that can be carried in a knapsack and mixed on the run. The "shake-and-bake" approach has become popular because it requires a relatively small number of pills of the decongestant pseudoephedrine — an amount easily obtained under even the toughest anti-meth laws that have been adopted across the nation to restrict large purchases of some cold medication...

The pills are crushed, combined with some common household chemicals and then shaken in the soda bottle. No flame is required...

"If there is any oxygen at all in the bottle, it has a propensity to make a giant fireball," said Sgt. Jason Clark of the Missouri State Highway Patrol's Division of Drug and Crime Control. "You're not dealing with rocket scientists here anyway. If they get unlucky at all, it can have a very devastating reaction."

One little mistake, such as unscrewing the bottle cap too fast, can result in a huge blast, and police in Alabama, Oklahoma and other states have linked dozens of flash fires this year — some of them fatal — to meth manufacturing.

"Every meth recipe is dangerous, but in this one, if you don't shake it just right, you can build up too much pressure, and the container can pop," Woodward said...

The do-it-yourself method creates just enough meth for a few hits, allowing users to make their own doses instead of buying mass-produced drugs from a dealer.

Somebody! post stuff!

It's hip to FUCK BEES

OH FUCK YES!
Lulz Abound

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world, mad world

OP here
Gonna take a quick shower and I'll be right back.

Keep posting material for me to read in the meantime and I'll pick my favorites

WITNESSED

How can you see into my eyes, like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb, without a soul
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up, wake me up inside I can't wake up,
Wake me up inside, save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark, wake me up
Bid my blood to run, I can't wake up
Before I come undone, save me
Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life

Wake me up, wake me up inside I can't wake up,
Wake me up inside, save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark, wake me up
Bid my blood to run, I can't wake up
Before I come undone, save me
Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life, I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside, bring me to life

Bush did 9-11

Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, eat em up, eat em up, eat em up, Reese's Puufs, Reese's Puffs, eat em up, eat em up, eat em up, I got Reese's Puffs in my bowl, Now my days on cruise control, I got Reese's Puffs in my bowl and just like that Im on a roll, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, peanut butter chocolate flavor, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs in the am its the flavor i crave-a, Peanu butter and chocolate too, you know how i do thats what I wake up to, My Reeses Puffs sit right at this round and peanut butter and chocolate flavors on time..Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs, Reeses Puffs!

Here come dat boii!!
Oh shit what up

You're a saint

buuuump

youtube.com/watch?v=RkZkekS8NQU

Only if you won't kill your throat.

The short ones are funnier.

OP here

Forgot to post this one.
vocaroo.com/i/s05DPSIdhNml

thanks

OP you got steam?

OP here.

I like it when niggers tongue my anus.

somebody get trips for this young man,
this would be fucking legendary if recorded

youtube.com/watch?v=wuXV2N63QXw

OP, my friend loves the show and wants you to sing his jingle
"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeed!"

Pretty please

________ ___ __ ________ ___ ________ ________
|\ ____\ |\ \ |\ \ |\ ____\ |\ \ |\ __ \ |\ __ \
\ \ \___| \ \ \ \ \ \\ \ \___| \ \ \ \ \ \|\ \\ \ \|\ \
\ \ \ \ \ \ __\ \ \\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\\ \\ \ ____\
\ \ \____ \ \ \|\__\_\ \\ \ \____ \/ /| \ \ \\\ \\ \ \___|
\ \_______\\ \____________\\ \_______\ / // \ \_______\\ \__\
\|_______| \|____________| \|_______| /_ // \|_______| \|__|
|__|/

DONT LET IT FUCKING DIE!

When out of hope, use the rope.

The theme song from steven universe

I think it would be pretty sexy to see Candice,phineas and ferb in a threesome

somebody satiate this guy,

BUUMP

pls

Did you fuckers seriously

OP here! I'm back!
These are clearly not me:
Gonna stick with short ones now so I can do more without hurting my throat.
But first, I'll do this oneWith ukulele accompaniment played by yours truly.

vocaroo.com/i/s08WwQcDJWWe

>vocaroo.com/i/s08WwQcDJWWe
AAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHHAAHAAHAHAH
FUCKING GODSPEED OP

That was beautiful

.........._____...................._____...................._____..........
........./\....\................../\....\................../\....\.........
......../::\....\................/::\....\................/::\....\........
......./::::\....\............../::::\....\............../::::\....\.......
....../::::::\....\............/::::::\....\............/::::::\....\......
...../:::/\:::\....\........../:::/\:::\....\........../:::/\:::\....\.....
..../:::/__\:::\....\......../:::/__\:::\....\......../:::/..\:::\....\....
.../::::\...\:::\....\....../::::\...\:::\....\....../:::/....\:::\....\...
../::::::\...\:::\....\..../::::::\...\:::\....\..../:::/..../.\:::\....\..
./:::/\:::\...\:::\....\../:::/\:::\...\:::\....\../:::/..../...\:::\.___\.
/:::/..\:::\...\:::\____\/:::/..\:::\...\:::\____\/:::/____/..___\:::|....|
\::/....\:::\...\::/..../\::/....\:::\../:::/..../\:::\....\./\../:::|____|
.\/____/.\:::\...\/____/..\/____/.\:::\/:::/..../..\:::\..../::\.\::/..../.
..........\:::\....\...............\::::::/..../....\:::\...\:::\.\/____/..
...........\:::\____\...............\::::/..../......\:::\...\:::\____\....
............\::/..../.............../:::/..../........\:::\../:::/..../....
.............\/____/.............../:::/..../..........\:::\/:::/..../.....
................................../:::/..../............\::::::/..../......
................................./:::/..../..............\::::/..../.......
.................................\::/..../................\::/____/........
..................................\/____/..................................

...

Bump, dont let it die guys

OP here!

I forgot to post this, sorry for the inconvenience!
This is a long one guys, so settle in!
vocaroo.com/i/s0FQre0p8ZfQ

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██╔══╝░░██╔══██║██║░░░██║
██║░░░░░██║░░██║╚██████╔╝
╚═╝░░░░░╚═╝░░╚═╝░╚═════╝░

OP here

Another set. Sorry about the pause in the middle, I was looking through the thread for the next good thing to read.

I might have screwed up the Jingle at the end though.
So, Tell me what you think. If You don't like it I can try redoing it.

Sorry here's the link
vocaroo.com/i/s1qlLVNewlSz

Stop pretending to be OP. It isn't funny.

vocaroo.com/i/s0FQre0p8ZfQ

this one got deleted :/

You idiot.

Those are OP

That one isn't and is a faggot

Dunt be dissing OP boi
He has delivered much more than you ever would