Greetings, dear gentlemen

Greetings, dear gentlemen.

Write a few things that are essential knowledge for the modern man.

Other urls found in this thread:

play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.renapps.spurdojump
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Shave your balls. You won't regret it

Fake it till you make it

Kill a bear with your bare hands

Kill yourself or blooden something in this garbage world

Be able to pretend to listen to what people are saying.

Remember, it is easier for the tiny dick to pass through the sausage hole belonging to a manwhale, then it is for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.

faggot

Already living it

>1438+578
>not having smooth balls

Ghost pepper sauce makes for quality lubricant.

don't be a faggot

fucking go out to Vote when you can.

Be able to jerk off and cum in 3 minutes and then be ready for work.

Best one thus far

Some pretty girls have penises.

hand out compliments.

being edgy won't do you any good in the real world.

If this photo were more aligned and square, your left collar not wrinkled, and the two symbols on the small white circles were symmetrical, this would be an excellent Wes Anderson scene.

If you ever need to fart, just do it. Don't hold it in. But, try to do the silent kind, and quickly move from the area so someone else gets blamed.

>2016
>voting
Thanks to the electoral college system and gerrymandering, your vote counts jack shit. You could vote a thousand times and make zero difference.

And even if you somehow managed to get someone elected into office, studies show money talks at Washington, like 90% of changes are the result of corporate lobbying dollars, not private citizens' efforts.

Welcome to reality, kid.

>/
Too bad it's an excellent Winding Refn movie.

>Winding Refn
Shit.

Modern Man needs to know we're heading into another financial collapse. This chart shows bullion purchases against price.
The 1% and smart-money is buying gold like crazy but this isn't yet factored into the price.
If Modern Man is smart, he needs to buy physical bullion NOW.

Dont act like or be a pussy. Women already have one. They dont want/need another.

Modern Man will only feel complete when he has a fine pair of tits to play with.

shit

You never lose your girl.
You just lose your turn.

Stating the obvious

Go fuck yourself and your stupid hipster Anderson bullshit. Fucking pretentious garbage.

If you start to fart a lot, you probably need to take a shit.

Tolstoi

This is a lie, poster is a faggot

Rings don't plug holes

Fook fam, Thats deeps yeah.

Learn to drive a Manual, it is a lot more fun than automatics.

Talking from Xp m8? If so, please greentext

A man's ambition must indeed be small, to write his name on a shit-house wall

When in Rome...

... go to Club Rosaro on the Via Andolini, ask for Maria.

Learn to cook exotic shit

Women love a man who can cook.

HELLO JENTELMANS! PLZ TASTE MY GAME
proof:
play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.renapps.spurdojump
try it!
I'm serious

Cocksucker

How to beg for pussy without the appearance of begging.

Jealous?

Where the fucking keys are, Margaret. I swear to god, if you took them

We have lost the art of communication. To unplug is not to be strange, but to see how strange others are to you

Wasted trips

This is seriously the best advice in this thread.

pro-tip pull ass cheeks apart for silent farts, you can leave one ass cheek on a seat and lea so it spreads your ass when sitting

Compound lifts > isolation and machines.

If you aren't going to the gym, you're doing something wrong and will regret it in the future. No one will judge you, no one cares that you're fat, skinny, ugly. Just. Fucking. Go.

Dont be black

...WITH A RAZOR. NOT SHAVERS!!

man, if I ever look like guy in op's pic I hope someone puts me out of my misery

Boop. This.

Do all her housework, especially in the kitchen, and you be tsunamied by wave after wave of pussy.

wtf? darth vader was in the marines?

Fucking kill yourself idiot.

You could only be so fucking lucky to look like him.

don't end up like this cunt in a costume and your bitch will be smiling!!
fact.

Every morning

>orders of magnitude
>dimensional analysis
>NP-completeness
>fallacy
>chess mastering

everyone is alone, accept this fact and you can start being happy

Get a cheap acoustic guitar, learn a few easy songs everyone likes, become Mr. Stealyogirl at gatherings.

You don't even have to be good, women are retarded and can't tell anyway.