Alright Sup Forums here's the deal. I'm in India right now and there are tons of little homeless children everywhere...

Alright Sup Forums here's the deal. I'm in India right now and there are tons of little homeless children everywhere, and the exchange rate makes me part of the freaking 1% here. I want to buy one of these kids off their family (just so they won't get the police involved- it'll only cost a few hundred at most) but I'm not quite sure how to get the undocumented little bastard back into the states unnoticed- to avoid kidnapping charges and whatnot. How should I do this?

Why do you want to buy one to begin with? They smell they poop they answer my tech questions

>they answer my tech questions
KEK

I've been here for weeks the smell doesn't bother me anymore, I'm thinking the whole endeveaour would he way cheaper than buying a child slave back home

Find a crooked official to draft you up some documents for a legal adoption, won't be too expensive if you find the right guy. I also advise that you get a kid 6 or younger, much easier to control when they grow up if you start young.

Slave.....

this this this this.
Otherwise it is super difficult unless you cross into the country illegally

Here's my only issue with this strategy, I don't want a paper trail linking me directly to this child, the goal is for no one to be able to find out I have him/her in the first place

What... what kind of slave?

Here's what you do:
Buy a passport on the black market for him.
Dress you and him as arabs.
Fly to Lybia.
Buy a boat and travel over to Italy.
Bus up to Germany and apply him for asylum as a refugee.
Get the documentation and get him a German passport and then fly back to America.
Profit?

Bring the kid to mexico then smuggle it in. Fake papers should be all you need to get into mexico

Not sex, but I was thinking more along the lines of doing shit around the house and something to beat when I get drunk. Eventually I'll kill him by accident or he'll live long enough to grow old enough to possibly fend me off, in which case he'd probably run away. Either way I can't have a paper trail

Find a boat shipping things to the US, and stowaway on it. You could also pay off the captain or something. Put the kid in a duffel bag, unconscious, so not even the captain knows. Bring some food for the journey.

Leave the local wildlife alone you fag

just give your home address and name and I'll help you out, "bro". we are, after all, "Sup Forums legion"

Nobody fucking makes lybian passports, who the fuck would want one in the first place? I feel like some serious questions would be asked if any official saw a grown white man with a malnurished 4 your old Indian kid

No fucking way I'm going up against the US Mexican border patrol

Bullshit, wheres the shit stained proof youre in india faggot?

27 silkpod ave. murwillumbah

Indians bathe in the river and shit in the streets, why do yiu want a stick legged little backwards asshole? Get a cambodian house slave instead.

Let's stay on topic faggots

The fuck us this address for ?

OP, unless you have the right friends already it's going to be very difficult and next to impossible to traffic a human being into the United States. you would be better off staying in India with the kid since there are almost no controls on human trafficking in India right now. tons of kids go missing and the authorities certainly won't give a shit about one more nameless orphan child.

if you really want to accomplish your goal of having a house slave, come back to the USA and find unlicensed adoption agencies. basically, in the USA, there are online forums and profit-based grey companies (and just stupid parents) where children are literally bought and sold without any documentation or government oversight whatsoever. you'll have to pay several thousand dollars for the child but, as long as you're not a retard falling into a honeypot, you'll get your wish.

They shit in the river, too

This is probably the best bet, thanks guys- I know the thread is just gonna devolve from this point on so yall can go fuck yourselves and have a nice life

Oh Damm didn't even know about this adoption fraud shit, Definetly gonna check this out as a plan B

it's actually a huge problem in the USA and authorities have a tough time fighting it precisely because it's done without state/federal child service agencies knowing. I would say it's a better bet than smuggling a kid from another country because then you have to get through several federal agencies. you're not just gonna have to deal with the Indian and American government because officials in every country you stop in on the way home have a chance of sniffing out your plan.

human trafficking is much easier to accomplish within a country, especially if you're not crossing state lines because federal agencies then try to get involved. say whatever you want about the Feds, but they are aggressive and they never forget... you don't want them on your back. local police at the state level are not nearly as coordinated and usually have way more shit to deal with.

just poke around for unlicensed adoption agencies. don't use google like a fucking retard and, if you do, use fucking proxies for fuck's sake. it's unlikely that the Feds will care, but it might tip off local police. I remember a family getting a visit from the Feds back in 2013 when they Googled "pressure cooker" and "ball bearings" to try and find out what the Tsarnaevs did at the Boston Bombings. the search triggered red flags and they were traced. hell, people just looking up "pressure cooker" to make food got swatted because Google has built-in triggers.

also, be warned: a lot of the children trafficked by unlicensed agencies are in their situation for a reason. many parents get hellish children and don't know where to turn, so they push the kid off to any agency - licensed or not - to get rid of the problem.

Wow, your knowledge of this topic is frightening. I don't know whether to fear or respect you.

Oh who am I kidding, respect.

just read the news and use logical thinking

wtf? just dont do it thats horrible

Top moist. How drunk are you as you write this, OP?

Fuck you, dude. Like the States need more brown people raised by degenerates. Hope you get fucking cholera and die over there.

I read the news from three different areas five or more days a week and don't run into very much on human trafficking at all. I guess it's all in the sources from which you seek it.

Also, I often quote the wrong post.