Hey Sup Forumsros, I need to write a story with an unexpected ending for tomorrow

Hey Sup Forumsros, I need to write a story with an unexpected ending for tomorrow.
I'll start:
>Andrew woke up of his bed
Dubs decide whats next

He got out of bed dick still out

>Shrek comes out of his wardrobe and rape him
The end.

he internally combusts

Random dwarf comes to see him

and slept with ur mum

he kills himself

The holocaust started and he died.

He explodes

> He waits until the last second to do a really easy assignment for his junior high English class
> He fails miserably at everything else in life forever because he can't get anything done
> The End