How often do you think about suicide?

How often do you think about suicide?

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From time to time. Fantasizing about death is my form of escapisim.

errday. sucks I just dont have the balls to take the plunge

At it's worst, about 28 times a day.
Now, maybe twice a day.

I think it about but only when I'm alone and lonely

its the being conscious while dying that scares me, I hope for something to take me out oblivious

Fair bit, but mostly self-harm, and mostly when I'm at work. Fuck, I used to carry a blade with me in case shit got too real.

An hero faggots post in this thread.

Constantly. I used to self-harm and not like a faggot with little "come look at my pain" scratches, I've hit bone a few times, and I don't wear short sleeve shirts now.

I am 25 and everything I've ever loved has either been taken from me, walked away from me, or just faded out.

I've seen nothing but death, pain and hopelessness most of my life.
I've been happy before, but I know it never lasts, they get tired of me.
Normal women get tired of me
And broken women get bored of me.
Normal women don't like hearing about my shit, don't like me waking up screaming in the middle of the night.
Broken women just like being the center of attention and I can't give them that.

So.
I'm alone.
I hate it

Don't be mean.

every other day-ish. I'm too chickenshit to act on it, but I get away from bad times by fantasizing about nonexistence for a while; it soothes me.

I used to think about it almost constantly, for years and years. I even tried it a few times. This last month though it has just somehow started to drift away from me with ease. Things feel lighter on my mind now.

Used to think about it all the time.

Now I just suffer without the actual thought of suicide.

everyday

i don't i'm working on a website idea and a few other things and have taught myself so much. why would i quit? they're bordering on learning the truth even if they keep calling me a liar.

I just was

I doubt your life experiences faggot. Can't kill yourself pussy enough said. Wish you would cute your throat.

Everyday

> cute your throat

Constantly. If I could figure out how to acquire 2-3x the fatal dose of Morphine, I'd do it today. That's how I want to go - to feel good for once and then fall into nothingness.

Never.

Suicide is for faggots.

Ascend to a higher purpose or fuck off, you fucking pussies.

You could just strangle your arteries in the neck and die easily from that. You can just continue breathing while you strangle yourself. I'm kind of thinking about that.

It's okay user, we know you're sad too. You can let your guard down with us, we don't judge. If being tough and macho is how you cope with your pain then that's okay, just know we're here for you when you inevitably break.

>a higher purpose

> used to have thoughts of suicide
> now has thoughts of suicide
Am I missing something here?

I want to feel *good* - unfortunately, I've never done drugs in my life, so I don't have an easy avenue to acquire 200-300mg of Morphine. I've been looking on Onion sites, but it still seems like a risk.

If doubts mattered I'd be happy, I'm glad you doubt it, I wish I could take that doubt and make it real.

Fact.
I'm crippled. Physically, my leg is crippled, I'm only 25. I walk with a cane.
I am broken emotionally. My brother's are dead. Every woman I've ever loved has left, they end up hating me.
I don't give a fuck what you think user. But I wish you were right.

All this time you spend devising a plan to kill yourself could be better spent improving your life. If your life gets no better then simply do a flip or lay under a train like a fucking man, that takes no time at all.

that's what happens when you can't read

Fuck that improving your life shit, it's meaningless.

> I'm only 25. I walk with a cane.
Fuck that hurts.

Never

Thanks for pointing that out. I apologise.

I wouldn't say I invest a lot of time in it; I simply look for opportunities and bide my time. I have a job and plenty of savings, I'm just tired of existing.

I tried ~14 years ago to poison myself, but unfortunately didn't go far enough and ended up in the hospital in a metric shit-ton of pain and a damaged liver. I don't want to make that same mistake again.

If you have plenty of savings and you want to get dead, you might as well splash that cash and go have some real good fun before you off yourself. Go out in style so to speak.

I use suicide as plan B. Plan A is making it in life, and if that fails I'll just kill myself. It doesn't depress me or anything as I know that I'm on track to having a good life, but I'm happy knowing that if it all goes to shit I have a way out.

>My name is Ross Minor. I am 17 years old. When I was eight years old, I found out my parents were getting a divorce. My father, upset witht he divorce, shot me in the right side of my head while I was asleep. He shot and killed my brother Ryan, and then committed suicide. The bullet passed through my head and out my left temple and into my left palm. As a result, I lost my left eye, all the sight in my right eye, my sense of smell, I have depression, and PTSD.

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No real desire to. I'm just dead inside and want to check out.

being alone is better than negative company, user, things could always be worse in one aspect or another

Never, have a job, GF, can afford my stuff self confidence, got laid from time to time.

This is sad to read and I know there's really not much I can say to change anything, I've been there myself and I know how useless words can be. I just really hope things change for you. Just keep strong for as long as you can user.

Don't be sad for me. Either I finally get my way and go, or I find some reason to stay. I have a good job, plenty of money, and a great wife. My life isn't objectively bad, I'm just tired of living.

aproximatly 2 times a week

My doctor told me I need challenges in my life. Could be right, but how. What kind of challenge, there's nothing here.

Dude overdosing on opiates will most likely result in respiratory depression I.e. choking to death on your own fluids. Not exactly painless

everytime i breath

At 3X the lethal dosage, I'll be totally out of it by the time that happens.

This is almost certainly my problem. I need interesting, meaningful challenges - not challenges like "Oh, try not to lose your temper at that person acting like a stupid fucker."

Yes. I think I need somebody else to put the challenge on me. With force.

Assisted suicide should be legal,its no one elses right to say you cant kill your self,humainly and gracefully.
Next of kin get to make this desion for the elderly by turning of their life saving machines.
You can have a do not resusitate order. There is no reason assited suicide shouldnt be a medical treatment

>allowing women to take this much of your psyhe

I'm assuming that you are the same as It's hard to find challenges and it's true that finding a way and a reason to push yourself is really healing. That's why I first suggested using your saving to fuck off somewhere and have some fun, in the hopes that you would find some spark while out blowing your cash. There must be something you always wanted to do but never did.

He's not the same person as me. I'm the person you suggested I blow my cash.

I guess I just don't have any interest. I've been through 35 countries, traveled the world, fallen in love, all that. I don't really want for anything. I'm just done, I guess.

>There is no reason assited suicide shouldnt be a medical treatment
It is legal but the requirement is that multiple certified psychiatrists determine that there is indeed no hope for recovery.

No. Assited suicide for non terminally ill or cancer patients is only legal in oregon.

It's strange, you seem so certain that you're done with life but you end your words a self doubt. The words "I guess" are not the words of a sure man. There's got to me something rattling about in that fucking head of yours.

He wants attention.Or he would have killed him self along time ago.
All that savings,go around hospitals and find nurses that will sell you morphine,You an give them a weeks worth of pay for 500 ml

Who want see my pussy?

My primary hesitation is that I don't want it to hurt. My secondary is that I don't want to be a gibbed mess that my wife has to identify. Those are literally the only two things holding me back. I already have my legal affairs in order and a sufficiently explanatory note to my wife that it's not her fault, along with the passwords to all my accounts so she can close them. I would enjoy nothing more than for today to be the last day I see the sun come up, user - and every day I wake up, I'm a little more disappointed that I didn't have an aneurysm in my sleep or something.

Or they call the cops on you and you end up either in trouble for trying to buy restricted drugs or involuntarily committed. No thanks.

Any ideas for a way to find a source I can trust?

You want to die why would it matter?

Well this just absolutely fucking wrecked me. I don't know what else to say, other than whenever it happens I hope it's easy and just be a good man to your wife until then my friend.

Death is the end. Jail or looney bin is being locked up like a fucking animal.

I already did a short stint involuntarily in the hospital after a failed attempt 14 years ago, it was awful. I was locked in with people who saw hallucinations telling them to suffocate their kids and had multiple violent personalities. I remember trying to sleep and hearing them just shriek all through the night. That was awful, not doing that again.

Again,you want to die,why does it matter?
You constantly state things that prevent you from doing it when its just that fucking simple,kill your self. You have nothing but excuses.
There are a pleathora of ways to kill your self, even if you want to do it so you're "fil gud"

>There are a pleathora of ways to kill your self, even if you want to do it so you're "fil gud"

Like what? What is an easily-accessible way that doesn't hurt, is guaranteed to work and not just make me a maimed cripple, and doesn't leave a traumatizing mess for my loved ones? Maybe I'm just not creative enough.

Every. Single. Day. Multiple. Times.

C pap mask you can order online for about 100,get the full face mask not the nose one
Cpap tubing.
Rent a helium tank from a local party store

Thats it

Not once since fifth grade.

You have loved ones? Don't kill yourself. It's that fucking easy.

Every day, but it's too much work to kill myself so I just live.

Interesting. I had heard of this with Carbon Dioxide but was turned off because of the massive spasming/conscious desperation associated with it. Hadn't considered Helium. Thanks, user.

Just be a total dick to everyone around you for the last 3 months before you kill yourself then get a roe boat, go out to sea, and shoot yourself. No one will ever find you.

>women, women, women
>whinge whinge whinge
you still desire another human? you still desire companionship? i'm laughing at your baser instincts and petty reactions to a minor nuisance

Helium wont gag you like other gases will,so you just lay back pass out and wait as your lungs fill with it

1.) get a 12 gauge shotgun.
2.) Put in mouth pointed UP at brain. 3.)BOOM!!! Painless, instantaneous, and it's fucking over.

Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!

How much dicks you have in you're eyes?

I really dont give a fuck what you think of me. But yes... I do.

I am going to paste some shit I wrote, dont care if you tell me I am a fag.

I wish you were here lying next to me
If only then you could spare a moment to see
i want to be your love
You are all I think, what I breathe

I couldnt care less
about all the rest
I only care about us
and its a must

a must for you and me
to run free
to run away
to start again
be together till the end

I didnt expect to find you here
and I didnt expect this fear
Am i blinded by insecurity?
Why do you love me?

this feels so right
We can run away tonight
If youll just stay
Please stay

a must for you and me
to run free
to run away
to start again
be together till the end

I see you and me
not free
we'll run away
and in the end
make a new beginning..

Its not the end
but you think new beginning
you walk away from one
just as its become
a feeling unexpected
but its unrelentless

it gnaws at your shoulder everyday
these feelings they get in your way
to think clear
its unclear
clouded judgement
where is courage?

you talked yourself into it
its like taking a hit
come back for seconds
my friend
because you are lost
so lost

it gnaws your shoulder every day
these feelings they get in your way
to think clear
its unclear
clouded judgement
where is courage?

There will be nothing left
for you one day
everyone will have walked away
from the things you have done
they wont care anyway

You'll have nothing
you'll wither away
you'll forget where it started
and you'll forget why you stayed

You cant hate yourself
for what they have done
although youre alone
its time to move on

Youve been deep below
in this chasm that never ends
but somehow, you'll find a way
to claw yourself back out again

A never ending dream
nightmares that dont subside
never sleep
never awake
staring at the sunrise
and it burns
it burns

like tomorrow
is anything worth it
anymore

Climbing back up to the top
its a long way down
still a distance to go
before you find yourself again

A never ending dream
nightmares that dont subside
never sleep
never awake
staring at the sunrise
and it burns
it burns

Make it over the ledge
It took all of your strength
dont doubt the desire
just to crawl back down again

But you crawl
But you crawl
Out of this hole
Just to sleep
Just to rest
Your weakened soul

Waking up to a new day
Something is different
there is a change in direction
You don't know where to go
There is a piece of you down there
But you dont need it any more

every fucking day

The end
nothing left for you
its bent
that much is true
so what
Your mind is through
its fucked
what did you do

Youve broken the world
contaminated life
Watch it all twirl
No you cant crawl
into a ball
Buck up son
You aint done

so you are low
feelings they come
feelings they go
staring at the floor
I couldnt take it anymore
a life thats not worth living
nor worth fighting for

forgive me
forgive my ignorance
sometimes i just dont get the jist
or why you ask me for more?

Im not perfect
its a dream
not what I mean
when did I get so cold?
I just cant take it anymore
Im just not myself my dear
nothing seems clear

forgive me
forgive my ignorance
sometimes i just dont get the jist
or why you ask me for more?

Its not me
nor its you
im not fulfilled
empty eyes are destined
to keep staring at the floor
How can I be honest with you
When I cant be honest with myself

Myself
Myself

Im not broken
but im not whole

And then there was my note
If I ever don't wake up one morning. I need you to know something

I love you.

All of you

I loved you. If you knew me, I loved you. You know I did. You meant so much to me

It might have been different for you. But I want you to know you touched my heart. I never meant to make you angry or upset and I'm sorry for it. Always sorry. I only ever wanted to make you happy.

In my life, I just wanted to be me. You may have tried to change me but I was so stubborn and difficult that I tried not to change. If I had listened it wouldn't have come to this. Sometimes you upset me, you troubled me, you worried me and you made me mad. It never bothered me, because I loved you.

I have never regretted anything in my life. Every choice I made was my own and I have lived and dealt with the bad choices and celebrated the good choices. There are so many moments where I have smiled inside, so many moments I have had the pleasure to share a smile with you. So many times I have had the opportunity to laugh. And I want to say thank you, my life has always been complete, even if I felt broken, deep down I knew there was actually nothing missing.

I have always been the first to admit that I was never perfect, but I knew I made you happy too. With my flaws, with my holes, with my difficulties, I still had personality and I always had something that made me me. You accepted me and you loved me too.

Through my rough exterior I was still soft, pink on the inside like you. My advice is, let them in. Be honest. Be kind. Love each other always. You were always my best friend, you made me a better person. I appreciated it everyday.

I wrote this about my son.

I planted you in dirt
I saw you rise
you needed the sun
you were the one

Grow strong
Grow tall
Grow true
I see you grow
from seed
for me

You push out to show
Unfurl yourself
Show what you are
shining star

Grow strong
Grow tall
Grow true
I see you grow
from seed
for me

And now you are bigger
outgrown the pot
its time to be free
I'll plant you tree

Grow strong
Grow tall
Grow true
I see you grow
from seed
for me

Ill see you grow
my tree
for me

I'm not reading this cringy shit, make an abstract fagget

Like I said, eat a dick faggot. Really couldnt give a flying fuck if you read it or not. Aint going to take it personally, just trying to help some poor user out if they are depressed.

I hope for my end every day but I gave up the option of suicide when I started a family. Their happiness and wellbeing outweighs my self loathing every time.

fsd