Well Sup Forums I did it. I fucked this semester up even more than the previous one...

Well Sup Forums I did it. I fucked this semester up even more than the previous one. I somehow manage to fail a course that I had a C in prior to the final. Failed my English course, too. The college cancelled my summer courses without so much as a phone call or a email, so that's nice.

I don't even know why I'm making this thread. Maybe I want something to comfort me.
Maybe this is my personal catharsis.
Maybe I want ideas on how to kill myself.

But what I really want to know is whats going right in your lives, god knows I've fucked mine up

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We all fuck up every once and a while. I fucked up big time last term and barely passed my classes. Now I've got B's and A's in them. See this as an opportunity to reflect and learn, then change.

I fucked up everything in my life too.

I've just gone through 6 months of intense depression and I'm just starting to shake it now. I've been medicated before, but this time I went without and it was a terrible idea. A suicide attempt which involved a belt, broken ceiling fan and a broken wrist kinda snapped me out of it and I'm only now getting my shit together.

I don't have to many images that relate to the topic but I'm going gonna post some shit
Thanks for the words, happy to hear someone's pulled themselves up.

I don't even know if I'm depressed, whats there to be depressed about in my life? It's not like I've live in a shitty house with shitty parents and friends who hate me. I think I'm just using it as a subconscious scapegoat. Suicides looking brighter every minute

Hey user. I fucked up my semester too. I decided to try and enlist in the army. Honestly at this point it's either that or get some shitty minimum wage job and move in with a bunch of people in a similar situation.

>Failed my English course
Damn it Bobby, you speak English.

Yeah but apparently I don't write to gud
I'm also fat and retarded I doubt the army would fucking use me

user you're more than just a student trying to pass an exam. Its just another obstacle in life and it doesnt mean you fail in life because of it.

Please. I'm a fucking tranny and they can apparently use me.

Just get in shape. It's not hard.
I used to be a fucking fatass and 3 months of not really eating and I'm
In decent shape.

I fucked everything up, too, user.

Sometimes you just gotta take a breather and recuperate for a while. I took a year off from everything and just worked a shitty job for a while. It put things into perspective and now I am slowly but surely working my way back up.

Just all about knowing when to take a break and get yourself together in your head, and then slowly getting back into the swing of things.

You've got all the time in the world so don't worry about that. Some people don't make it until their 40's, but they still make it.

You got it user, we believe in you.

I've no idea what I'm doing :/

Your right but I will be the first person to graduate college in my family besides my parents, everyone seems to expect me to be this amazing student who aces everything and I simply couldn't keep up

Fuck family. You don't need em.

I just don't understand this fucking limbo I put myself into.
I don't want to keep living, but I'm too much of a puss to fucking fix that
For a while now I've been joking with friends about wanting to kill myself, like dark self depreciating type humor, but they've began to suspect it's not completely a joke. I don't want to pull them in to this though.
They deserve better than me

Stop thinking so low of yourself. Make a reason to make yourself a more worthfull human being.

I've been using my great grandfather's pocket knife to cut myself.
I just can't shake how pathetic it is. If he knew that's what it was being used for

livestrem it

He's dead. If mine knew I was a tranny he'd fucking cringe. But he can't. Cuz he's dead. Who gives a fuck?

Also cutting is a stupid habit.

Like what? I made a 99 on my chem final and still got a B or that I did well in bio. Or that I'm pretty good a video games.
As a human being I done nothing but fail or fail to try, the only reason I fail so badly at school is because of a mixture of procrastination, apathy and this pseudo-depression I've made up. It's not like I could explain this to anyone without sound like an excuse
I'm not trying to be an asshole, but I know I am.

Been in a similar boat a month and a half ago. Final university exams before me, final thesis not even close to being acceptable. On top of that, I'Ve been in that university far longer than I should and my parents paid a lot of money so that could be the case.
I am dumb and will likely end up selling potatoes anyway, but I couldn't just give up and look my parents in the eye as a failure. So I decided to kill myself (being depressed for years with no help made the decision very easy). I wrote to my followers on MLP fanfiction site that I won'T be updating anymore and that I'm sorry for wasting their time (yeah, I am THAT much of an autistic failure, point and laugh). The next day someone I have never heard of before replied, saying he was on antidepressants for ages and that he, with the help of a psychiatrist, got over the worst of it. We talked over days, and it turned out that near-terminal depressions are always the same - there is no hope, no faith that something good can happen, the feeling that since I have failed until now it will keep happening forever. At about that time my mother went on a brain surgery the fucking doctors botched and I had to take care of her which consumed a ton of free time I had. With that on my mind, I decided to at least give finishing the final thesis a shot because I couldn'T kill myself before my mother either got better to take care of herself or died, at that point it was about 60/40. In our family everyone hates everyone, so someone had to do it. I managed to make my work presentable (not good, but acceptable). A week ago, my brother was nearly killed by his drunk roommate and spent a week in intensive care.
My final exam is in a month and I have little to no chance of getting ready enough, but I won't stop trying.
You know why? Because after truly resolving die, I can do it any time I want, and now I have shit to do.
I know nothing, I can do nothing, I can just sit in school like I'Ve done my entire life.

cont:
but now I know school doesnt matter and life has its ways to fuck up everything you do. You lose only if you give up, you hurt yourself only if you want too much.
I don't know if this helps you in any way (aside from laughing at me sucking ass), but don't hurt yourself over the expectation of others. You can find a way, even if it might suck at first.

XD
Yeah your right but it's sort of a reliever and who knows? Maybe I'll fuck up real bad one time?
Pic related my knife and the blade I use

Fucked up life here too.

Brief summary:
>bad payed job with workload for 4 People (we are 2 in the office)
>getting blamed for everything I have no infuence in
>Living alone because too stressed out for a relationship
>No more interest in, or motivation for anything
>drunk every evening
>just waitng about 40 more years to live in old-age poverty
>no motivation for suicide. hoping to be witness of the next worldwar to see the end or for my liver to say goodbye in a few years.

Suicide is lame and for faggots. If you fucked up: live with it!
For me the last years seemed to pass faster than usual with no noteworthy events. So why not wait a little more and see what the dull future has in stock for us all...

So you're in limbo? Wow that's depressing :/
I keep saying the military because that's all I can think of. I have no purpose or direction, and I'm willing to sacrifice everything but the progress I've made transitioning (because that's literally all I have to show for my life, and a year of county college but that ain't shit.) it just seems like the best option when you don't know where else to go and you're in limbo.

Become me. I eat one time a day - in the morning. Then i spend rest of the day doing pretty much nothing (unless PE then I eat a bit more) thus not getting very hungry. If you do get hungry eat an apple or a banana.

I keep getting dealt a shitty hand. First my parents die then i cant complete my a levels. Now im balding and moping around telling my brothers ill be working in a call centre and not going to university. What should i do im really stuck in life.

*Is me again* Also dude you still have your family, and at least one person in the world (apart from your family) likes you so don't kill yourself! It will hurt much more for them then for you

I guess I'm the only one in this thread who thinks the military is a good idea ._.

Lol I used to write MLP fanfiction, so I feel ya. Hope your mom and bro do all right
I get the liver thing, I'm really banking on some fucking disaster or disease to do me in so my family won't have to suffer if do go the way of the dodo.

Yeah yeah. I've been subscribed to /r/Depression for about a year now and Everytime someone's mentions that suicide has more consequences than just your own death and has involves more than your own feelings, they light the torches and sharpen the pitchforks
Here's my cat who likes to chill with me when I get mopey

I barely studied in college and all As and few Bs. Youre just stupid and lazy. Kill yourself. It's better for society. Fucking idiot. Fuck you and your entire family.

Also, 10 years later and I am a known and respected leader in my career field. Life is easy.

The military is for people who can't succeed in the real world.

Sure some people actually want it as a career, but most people do it because you don't have to have any real skill to join, just be generally healthy, and because they don't have the option to get a real job or can't afford higher education or aren't capable of succeeding in college.

It's those same people who get kicked out of the army or leave it thinking the country will take care of them and help them but they get out and are still incapable of succeeding in the civilian work environment so now they end up homeless praying their VA check comes in time to buy food and not starve to death.

Plus unless you make it to a higher rank the pay is shit. You basically join the military for the free housing and food.

Kind of like prison.

Insane resolution, best focus, awesome cat :3
But srsly dude killing yourself - I mean geez it ain't THAT bad is it? You can go traveling around the world idk live in the jungle, start revolution somewhere - live a fun life :D

> projecting

It sounds like OP can't.
But yeah, all bullshit aside its a lot like prison. If they take me I intend to make the most of it, with the education benefits and all that cal. Plus even with a year of college your already like 3 ranks above a normal recruit.

I hope you fall into a pit of Lego blocks.

Gender studies isn't hard fam.
No I completely know it's not that bad, I said somewhere that I don't even have a reason to be this fucking down, yet I still am, I just can't control it

Shut the fuck up you pussy.

The fuck did you come to Sup Forums for with this lame ass employees bull shit?

you don't need to have a shitty life to be depressed. Hell, my life isn't very shitty, I've got nice friends and good parents, and I still have dealt with depression. I gotta tell you though, looking down the barrel of a gun puts things in a whole different perspective. It made me realize that the only thing I'm "saving" myself from, as I previously reasoned with myself, is everything. Life, love, happiness, friends, getting jobs, maybe getting in a few fights. It made me realize that I'd rather deal with shitty stuff right now, so that I can experience more of life later. The bad times are only there to make the good times feel even sweeter. See all these people trying to help you out, OP? That's gotta show you that suicide can't really be that helpful, all you would be doing is going from living life to nothing, assuming nothing happens after death. Use these shitty moments in life as a way to tell yourself "I can deal with this bullshit, I can get out of it." That's what I tell myself. Good luck to you OP.

I'm a 19 year old loser still living with my mom and I'm struggling with crippling anxiety and depression. I don't even have a high school diploma. Wish I could get a job, but last interview I had with a pizza place I broke down from nervousness. Since then my last bit of confidence flew out the window and now I feel less the useless. I think about killing myself everyday and constantly question my sanity, and all I do to distract myself is play games on my PC. Never had a girlfriend in my life, not even a kiss from a girl. And I have no friends, which always sucks. I know my parents are pretty fucking disappointed with me too. So my life is fucked right now.

That does sound like me some time ago. I suggest you listen to stuff by G-Eazy and Meat Loaf (my recommendation is Alive)

How is my success from my failures supposed to comfort you? Get out there and fix your shit yourself. You don't need to hear anything from me.

I was on academic probation 3 times in undergraduate. When I knew what I wanted to do, I turned my shit around. Now I'm like 2 weeks (June 3rd) away from graduating from a US medical school, and will be starting a surgery residency in NYC.

I fucked up. I fixed it. Hearing about me fixing anything should be NO COMFORT to you. Get out there, and fix your life. Get your shit together.

Misery loves company

Can relate
>tfw fucked up in school
>needed job
>joined the military
>get placed in air force
>go through basics for nine months
>hopefully get job afterwards
>two weeks ago
>platoon leader tells me they don't have openings for everyone
>I'm fired
>went through nine months of shit for nothing
>unemployed as of tomorrow
Nothing is going right in my life either atm but at least it cannot get worse than it is.
Hope you'll get back on track soon.

my life seems pretty ok at the moment and still i feel like shit some days. i just feel fucking alone so often altough i have friends, i go out regulary and even tho i am an asshole often, people seem to like me. but sometimes i just sit in my room and suddenly begin to think my life sucks and there is no reason to live. i start crying and listen to emotional stuff like counterparts, feeling like a beta fag. almost every night i lay awake thinking about stupid shit and hoping that some day i will get better and that's pretty much the only reason i'm still going on. can't even talk to people about that, everyone is woah you have so many friends and everything is going well in your life and i know they are right, still my head says something else.

I just finished my letter and have no idea whether or not I will survive the night.

youtube.com/watch?v=WJZY__j0Tyk

took a D. a F. a B and an A home last semester.

bank foreclosed on my studio apartment.
been living in my Volvo.

cmon OP, if I'm still kicking you can too

Get some jam from dandelions or something like that, it helps against depressions REALLY well!

I really feel what your saying, all these people to talk too, all these friends that surround, yet I still feel so damn lonely
This stupid shit my friend said gave me a laugh, how is it that I can laugh and still feel this terrible in the same hour?

Basically all my plans I made did not work out.
My grades dropped really low and I have finals next week.
I just have a friend that keeps me going but after my friend canceled our planned holiday together, I stormed off and we had no contact since.
Seriously why keep going?