I need to be hospitalized. Anyone have ideas for injuries that will require me to be carried away...

i need to be hospitalized. Anyone have ideas for injuries that will require me to be carried away? Not too painful and needs to be believable. I'm not insane, I just need to go to the hospital.

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theguardian.com/science/2016/may/17/magic-mushrooms-lift-severe-depression-in-clinical-trial
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Just eat up a lot of sleeping pills and call an ambulance saying you confused them with candy...

Why

this

Kill yourself, that'll get you to the hospital preety quickly. Unless nobody cares about you

just fake appendicitis. they'll be pissed when they open you up and find its fine though.

Do you know what they do to get the pills out? How long do I have till I over dose from taking a lethal dose

No idea, I'm sure you can figure it out tho.

Fake a kidney stone bruh.

Eat your own shit.

You fucking are insane, like "mom's gonna freak" kind of insane.
Wtf do you need to go to a hospital for?
If you really want to go, get in an actual injury, the kind that WILL be too painful cause you're not going to just fool them, you're not a genius, you're a dumbass.

...

Pain killers, lots of it. Also some attention to my existence would be nice. I just want to feel like someone is looking after me.

Have someone swing a metal baseball bat into the top of your shin just below the knee. This will shatter the growth plate. You will have to go under emergency surgery and be fine. p.s. I've done it.

Same.. Im with you user.. Lets get sent to thw hospital

Create a blood clot

Oh shit that's smart! But I literally am alone so no one to break my leg for me.

Not joking btw.. I really would of asked the same except id never do it ubtil you asked first.. I gotta afmit you're the ballsy version of me

You can go in for mental illness and detox. It's time if your considering self harm. Don't you want to be free again?

That sounds incredibly painful. More then breaking a bone

I would seek help for my mental ASAP but I don't want it to go on my record i once had suicidal tendency. I'm very sick right now but I still want to live.

You do realize they're indifferent to your existence, right?
It's their job to look after you, whether you live or die is literally of no consequence to them, even if their sympathies are genuine.
You are going to be one of SEVERAL patients they are looking after, a lot of RN's are malnourished and sleep deprived, before they even see you they have to take a quick look at your file just to remind themselves of what your deal is/what they're keeping track of for your care, and even that might end up getting fucked up because again, you're not the only person they're keeping track of.

As long as I have an iv pumping drugs in me and a building full of people. I'll be happy.

KILL YOURSELF
I
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F

Poo poo pee pee
Women with dicks and weak men with viginas

>I'm not insane
>I just need to go to the hospital.
Wat. why?

I want drugs and company

It doesn't just work that way though.
You're better off trying to find that shit on the street than injuring yourself in the hopes you're gonna get a sweet drip in the hospital.

Aww OP that sounds really sad, here have an Internet hug.

Why not take actual drugs with druggies for company tho? No faking and everybody is taking nice drugs. I like druggies, but I'm one myself so there's that.

The people in the hospital just want you again as soon as possible. And they're going to be fucking pisses as soon as they recognize you're faking. And they have lots of methods to detect that...

Seriously OP, I'd hug you if you were here.

I've been to the hospital 3 times. It's what I want. If I can't get it, I'm going to go nuts

>It's what I want. If I can't get it, I'm going to go nuts
Then you _are_ kinda crazy.

Maybe a little

What about a mental institution?

Unless you live in some other country I don't know about where you can easily fool the staff about your injuries and demand whatever fucking drugs you want, that shit does not work that way.
In some cases, even if you are in pain they might not immediately give you anything if at all.
This is why if you really do just want the drugs, by all means find it in the streets.
Shit makes no sense trying to just get yourself sent to the hospital hoping to get your fix you odd junkie.

OP, do you have any alternatives? A therapist or something? You seem to know there is a difference in what you want and what you need

I know if I went to a therapist I will lie straight to their face saying I'm fine.

Yeah, it's not easy being that direct, I know. Maybe try to write it down before the session? Being honest about it is hard, but wil get you futher in the long run

dude what if you jumped off a twenty story building?

please?

>sleeping pills
>lethal dose

lol

Why?
They might be inclined to give you shit if you open up at least.
Also, if you're interested in getting better -at all- those are the people you want to be as open as possible with cause they know what you need to do to work through that shit.

>some attention to my existence would be nice.
care about your self first you nolife basement dweller.
do you even have a job.

Um yeah don't that if you really need to be hospitalized just say your suicidal dumb ass, and enjoy the week minimum being in there

I am in law school, works at a firm and has a pretty healthy eating habit.

Yeah, it's not easy being that direct, I know. Maybe try to write it down before the session? Being honest about it is hard, but wil get you futher in the long run

Those are fun

BULLSHIT

Painkillers are a terrible drug, take some mushrooms and learn why you hate yourself.

I smoke a lot of weed. If it wasn't for that I would have already had a live stream for everyone to see me slit my neck. I know my problems but they are such bad habits that they cannot be changed. It's who I am.

>they cannot be changed
not with that attitude faggot.

also, weed =/= psychedelic.

mushrooms will open a whole new fucking world to you dude. you will change guaranteed. on a fundamental level.

theguardian.com/science/2016/may/17/magic-mushrooms-lift-severe-depression-in-clinical-trial

I have heard many good things about mushrooms. But I'm not sure if I'm down for that intense of a trip. But I'm sure if I get any lower then what I'm at now. I'll say fuck it and boil up mushroom soup

Cucumber solution.

I'm on my phone starting at a shot gun. Can't watch it. I wish Elliot Rogers was my friend in a time like this. We would get along :\

Yeah, it's not easy being that direct, I know. Maybe try to write it down before the session? Being honest about it is hard, but wil get you futher in the long run

>I'm not sure if I'm down for that intense of a trip
you honestly have nothing to lose if you are trying to kill yourself already dude.
just do it. do your research first.

the trip will be intensely horrifying, but only because the mushrooms force you to confront your demons. (insecurities / traumas / ect...)
but theyre magical because it also forces you to accept yourself and helps you move on with life dude.

give it a shot. make sure there is someone there with you though

no you don't

if you were even half together you wouldn't be on this board to begin with, much less asking such a monumentally dumb question

what type of law are you even interested in if you are in fact studying law and why?

I have tried it all my life. It's nothing but argument and I'm not down to do all the work to find the right person for me

>I'm not down to do all the work
you are lazy and dont care about yourself.

I feel that and I wish I could change. But I'd rather go the dramatic way.. Mental must be satisfied

I'm actually down to see if it works. But I need to be alone. Like I said, no one can know I have these problems.

its not hard to care about yourself just a little.
why do you dislike yourself user?

Thank you everyone for giving me feedback on my mental state. I have got a lot of advice. I am going to abandon thread now. Thank you!

Post Spider-Man now or something. What ever you Sup Forums tards do

>no one can know I have these problems.
dude you are so messed up. you want all the attention from fake suicide yet dont want anyone to know you have problems.

tripping alone for the first time, i can guarantee you will think you are literally dying. its not fun. lol just get someone, trust me. psychs are not for everyone and you may have a very very very bad time if you dont have someone sober reminding you that you are just high. (theres a good chace you will forget you took drugs)

you will think "man this isnt the mushrooms, this shit is real"

Sounds like you had experienced a bad trip yourself?

of course.
never alone though. i cant even imagine how horrified id be if i was alone.

bad trips just means you are healing.
theyre scary as fuck though. lots of real shit coming up.

> call a cab
> ask him to take you to the hospital
> wait
> you are now at a hospital

I am going to remember that..
>bad trips means your healing
Thank you for that

buy a skateboard and go to the local skatepark. youll prob break something in under an hour.

>bad trips means your healing
for sure dude.
theres a lyric to a song by an artist whose known for doing a lot of psychedelics.

the line go "damn that acid burns when it cleans you"

and its true. psychedelics will never harm you, it may seem like they are killing you are taking you to hell, but its only to teach you a lesson. dont try to control it or ignore your thoughts because it will just intensify everything.

if you start to feel overwhelmed play some happy music that you like, or watch a cartoon or something.

Many sleeping pills are breathing depressant at large doses, moron.
You should say you took your night dose of xanax after a night of drinking, meds will go nuts.

So fucking delicate like mommy's fine china.

Lower quadrant abdo pain. We can't prove you don't have it. Say you've tried whatever low level codeine/paracetamol blend your country has, and it was at least 4-6 hours ago. Specifically ask for stronger pain meds.

Wow.. Drink alcohol and "accidentally" taking Xanax.. It's brilliant. It will actually work

it'll be hard to act out haha, unless you actually do it

Smoke a lot of spice, get arrested and thrown into mental institution for almost FREE. Do it!

I'll actually do it. All It takes is a small stomach pump and an over night evaluation. That's what I want

You need help, OP