QUICK I NEED A WAY TO PASS A DRUG TEST

QUICK I NEED A WAY TO PASS A DRUG TEST

INB4 DON'T DO DRUGS

I HAVE 10 MINUTES

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=VxQP_VTvu40
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

While filling the cup close your eyes REALLY tight and think about jeebus

How did you get on Sup Forums in jail user?

Kill yourself. They won't test you if you're dead.

>I HAVE 10 MINUTES

This

piss test hair test or blood?

They will, actually. Especially for suicides

IM CHUGGING AS MUCH WATER AS I CAN IN THE SINK

WILL THIS WORK?

Piss

kek

no you're fucked unless you get someone else to take it

Shit

I'm gonna bail, what do you guys think?

YOU BETTER DRINK MORE

Do you know what drugs they test for? Some places just test for the harder shit, some test for weed and the hard shit

What drugs do you ingest?

Hurry up faggot

get someone elses piss

If you can bail then do it, most tests check for weed, coke, amphetamines, and opiates

I smoked three bowls right before work, they hit me with the surprise test

don't do drugs

Drink bleach it will clean your bladder

Fuck you

Instead of pissing in it, jizz in it. They will be so surprised they will forget what they were testing you for.

this. get someone else to fill a condom with piss (non lubricated) then tie it off and tuck it up under your nutsack to keep it warm. wear tightie whities. put a safety pin in your pocket to pierce it with.

piss in your mouth then spit it into the cup, saliva will break up most drugs.

enjoy unemployment bro

degenerate

Depends what kind of drug test it is

Hair tests are becoming way more common now, and they can track you back 18+ months. And don't think about shaving your head, not only is that suspicious, but you don't necessarily need hair from your head.

Get waxing faggot.

But he's right. If you weren't a boring manchild, you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

And you Mcdonald's workers want 15 dollars an hour KEK STUPID ASS.

get your dick caught in your zipper while trying to piss in the cup... make sure there is lots of blood, and a few faggoty shrieks probably wouldn't hurt

Oil change

Every piss test I have taken they just tell you to remove your jacket and empty your pockets before going into the bathroom.

You fill a vial to a line and urinate the rest into the toilet. You're not allowed to flush.

So you'll need some urine kept warm (they usually make you wait an hour in the lobby first) hidden inside your pants.

I've never had anyone stand and stare at my dick while peeing, so not sure why the fake cock.

This. I work in a drugs testing lab and the enzymes in spit fuck with the test. Only way I know to pass a drug test.

Not if they do a specific gravity test on the sample. It will detect that type of game.

This is actually good

You faggots fell for the b8 again. OP said he only had 10 minutes 20 minutes ago.

OP is kil

>boring manchild

Someone's projecting.

Hurt yourself so you can get out of it do some thing to go home or hospital

you're a drug addict, you're gonna end up either in prison or dead, you shouldn't even worry about failing a drug test.

Go to the bathroom, tell them you just pissed out blood and need to see a doctor
Improv from their

They do in the Army.

Depending on your HR department you might be able to ask for help with drugs and get away with a suspension.

I doubt it though kiss your job goodbye druggy scum.

>projecting
More like someone observing that the people around him that get into problems like OP are boring manchildren.

ahhhhhhhh, that they do.
good times.

see kids, this is what someone reasonable says. to Sup Forumstards nowadays everything is "projecting". fucking pathetic.

Normal girlfriends get abortions.

Problems like the one OP is having are because he is dating a crazy cunt.

kek op is probably being fucked rn

You're fucked unless you can get ahold of clean piss. If you can, piss in the cup, let the cup get to the right temperature, pour it down the sink, and pour the fake piss in.

clorox under your fingernails, put your fingers in the piss

Either mix with salt to Fuck up the test, or go outside and buy someone's piss.

If you have any warning in the future, fill a 2l bottle with water, put about 4 tea bags in it, leave it over night, then fill a smaller bottle from that, hide smaller bottle on person, use smaller bottle to fill pee cup (find way to hide it inside pants). they just test for each drug individually so it wont come up as jsut being pee. and you will also need to find a way to keep it warm

>le boring manchildren
>I am le superior water drinking non-drug user
>I le laugh at you plebs and your marijuanas
>*tip*

I didn't know Quentin was still around.

>smoked weed
>drug addict
Stop being so uninformed

Ay, why you gotta be disrespectin' the world's greatest film director?

typical drug addict statement.
>b-but its a plant
kys

Tea:
>plant
>psychoactive
>addictive

I don't care about your response, because you just got btfo.

you're a fucking bigot, sometimes I forget there are people like you

Drink a ton of water? If it passes through you fast enough it will work. Or just fill the cup with water

Sorry OP.

xD bro u sure got me xD

lmfao you can tell by how mad they are that this dude is right. fucking druggies

youtube.com/watch?v=VxQP_VTvu40

Why is a dick there?

just don't do drugs. it's that simple.

This guy might have some words to say about this topic.

This guy knows stuff

its a prostetic cock. whip it out, piss from a resivuar thats heated by hand warmers, pass tes.t sorry if text. drunk.

honestly you wont pass so just quit, atleast then you didnt get fired for failing a piss test

This

I had a guy, at my old job, show up while drunk. Apparently, if you tell your employer that you have a problem and you want to get help, they can't fire you (at least where I am). I don't know the finer points of this, though, and I DO know that you actually have to seek and receive treatment (A.A. or something). If you don't go to meetings or show up high, again, you're out, no questions asked.

kek, I haven't smoked in a month cause I hadn't felt like it, I think I might now, just cause I can

Probates and Military Personnel are usually monitored during their test.

drink a gallon of water take a b vitamin bam your pissing yellow water

"accidentally" pee on the lab tech and then apologize when you can't fill the cup

Ok this isn't foolproof but I know a few people who have used this. Piss before the test, or pee into the sink just get rid of the pee inside your bladder. Say you cant pee then ask for water, chug a fucking lot of water till you have to pee. Pee until about 2/3s through the piss. Then pee into the sample cup bag or whatever. The theory is to get rid of pee that has had time to be inside your body, and giving a sample of water that has only quickly passed through.

Kill yourself