ITT: Post the most autistic thing about yourself

>ITT: Post the most autistic thing about yourself

I'll start. I have a fart fetish.

I had sex with your mom

I act as an idiot on purpose.

Neat

Terrible comebacks. Seems legit.

For a brief period of time I would make jokes about girls thinking small things were cute with one exception trying to imply I had a big dick. It's not that big and it didn't make sense and they always got weirded out so I stopped.

I'm probably the only person that never uses text speak. My grammar isn't the best but it still pisses me off even when it's my own girlfriend texting me.

>wanting to use text to speech feature
Holy shit that's autistic alright.

I watch anime

I uee Sup Forums till late at night.. It's 2am..

I have autism and I jack off to cartoon ponies fucking. But probably the most autistic thing about me is that I go on Sup Forums.

i shop at hot topic

>I have a fart fetish
This

My bed is suspended from the ceiling. It has pulleys on it so it can go up and down.

I laugh to myself a lot at work.
Only person to do this.
Everyone thinks I'm off-center.

I like lesbians.

Every time i git gud with a girl i instantly sabotage myself without realizing and lose all connections.

I sometimes browse reddit

Most autustic thing for me that i work on a team of 5, + 2 others in a similar team / part of our little cube farm office

and they all go out to lunch without me
always have
never invite me
and i never ask to come

once i did go, and i thought it went okay, everyone kind of laughed at me and there was good discussion

i'm not sure why i wasn't ever invited again. Oh well

Done that before.. Too many times.

I spent the today playing warframe instead of doing anything productive at all

I regularly post Sup Forums material on Facebook solely to annoy Sup Forumstards who take the rules seriously.

Eye contact is a fucking pain in the ass

So the most autistic thing about yourseld is that your 11?

>using normiebook
That's not autistic at all

I mean not really autistic but Im just fat and insecure about myself
but idk I have a hot as fuck girlfriend and i get to play music regularly so no complaints about my life aside from my self esteem issues

This

>i lie about having girlfriends on the internet.

Of all the games you could have played, you chose that rancid shit pile? Really, user? Really?

I have a body switching fetish. Basically, my self esteem is so low I can't imagine I'm getting laid unless I'm literally someone else.

You got me

whoops meant to reply to this lol
guess i am autistic

I like My Little Pony although if you meet me in real life I'll deny everything.

My video card is dying so I needed a free game that isn't demanding to kill time until my new one gets in

>implying I couldn't have figured that out without your explanation based on context.
Quite.

The smell?

Its been a long day

>excusing yourself despite me not giving a shit.

what you on about? text speak isn't text-to-speech.

text speak is wen ppl tlk like dis lol

>Knowing the name of the fucking unicorn
>bronyfaggot detected

not as long as your dick FAGGOT

Ever since I quit doing drugs, the only joy I get from life is flirting with women and making them like me to the point they want to date me, but I have no intention of dating them. I just like the rush of serotonin from the courting period. My girlfriend has no idea I do this.

I'm still in love with a girl that hates me

im a grill

thrill of the hunt

Never heard it to be reffered to it like that. I always thought they'd be known solely as acronyms. Either way, yes it is annoying when it is overused/replaced by emojis.

Technically she's an Alicorn, because she has wings and a horn.......God what am I doing with my life....

Well...

Underage

...

Exactly. They try and meet up to fuck, but I'm too much of a chicken to ever actually cheat on my girlfriend. But the one I'm talking to now I'm kind of in love with.

There is a short animated series based on a comic book called The Maxx.

Recently it was released on DVD with high resolution episodes.

But they CHANGED things. Songs are changed. Sounds are changed. A couple of scenes are deleted.

I took the new, high quality episodes, and carefully spliced in audio from the old episodes. And this was not a simple task. The episodes are a different length and sometimes speed than the old episodes. I had to separate out the audio from the new episode and go through it little by little in audacity and cut and paste bits that were incorrect.

I also had to figure out how to rebuild the video bits that were cut. Luckily they did not contain highly unique scenes. They were scenes that i could copy and paste previous bits into. It's still not PERFECT, but it's DAMN close.

I replaced "I wanna marry a school bus driver" with "I wanna marry a light house keeper", and this other song which is used when The Maxx is chasing an Is down the street with the original.

My friends call it the most autistic thing i've ever done, but i had no illusions about that when i started.

...

There's just no need for it in this day and age, especially when they have a full qwerty keyboard in front of them, and no character limitations.

At least in the 90s when we used old Nokias, it served a purpose - now it's just an excuse for general laziness and illiteracy.

...

Didn't think it was a very common thing. Guess it's kind of nice to find someone else like me.

The fact that I'm 22 is the reason it's autistic you faggot

> 8th
> Teacher asks what is this -> .
>I see a dot in my mind but can't get around why did he ask that question
>Don't answer
>Teacher says A DOT
>that feel of a full classroom
>12th grade (still consider myself straight)
>somehow a talk of a man fapping around the neighborhood comes up in our group.
> I say "Where?"

coming to these retard threads to tell you you're a retard

sorry those are two stories

Wasn't defending it's use. I was saying that I've never heard texting acronyms being referred to as "text speech"

Go cut yourself

M8... That's green text... I don't think there are many like you. You're a rare breed

Oh I know you weren't, I was just venting. Apologies.

Spend at least 12 hours a day on Sup Forums. Not even doing anything productive like learning shit on DIY or how to do math. Have been doing this for most of a decade. I'm almost literally unemployable. Even mcdonald's won't hire me and they hire felons and child molesters.

I'm still obsessed/in love with a girl I met online when I was like 15.

Every day I run through a list of my daily failures as a human being and at night I dwell on shit that shouldn't matter anymore yet I can't help but feel has shaped me into this rotten thing I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I broke/covered every last one in the house.


Also these apply.

Central time zone? Hell yeah bro, dont feel down about it but its just the fact of the time. TIme is a relevant dimensions served to us in a linear fashion for easy understanding. THere is no autism from time, there is only autism from self. You are the cancer of Sup Forums and it should be known from here on out. Rock Flag AND EAGLE

im a bit the same. ive been fat. no one loved me. im skinny now. no one loves me. i feel the only way to get love is to be a woman so now im pursuing men and crossdressing. what a world. never thought i'd be this way.

>learning on Sup Forums

What..?

I have a loli fetish, and a rape fetish, and a torture fetish, but I wouldnt classify those as "autistic", though that is probably more of a personal preference.

I actually wrote a program today to dl the content of Sup Forums threads so that I could DL loli at a faster rate. Its pretty nice, but I havent seen any loli threads tonight, save for the one I started.

If that isnt autistic enough, I resort to radical honesty because the handful of lies that I have been caught have scarred me beyond repair, and I literally twitch when I recall them.

I sperg when people dont use "literally" and "figuratively" correctly, or when they misuse "irony" or "pun" and will correct them in public. I explain in detail the lyrics to certain songs, or lines from poems/books, and I worship mathematics like a god. If I was ever to get a tattoo, it would be Euler's Identity.

It's greentext followed by "this" which means it applies to them too. Also, you'd be surprised how popular it is. Go look up a video of girls farting and see how many views it has.

...

when I learn new information I pretend I'm in a debate or interview where this information is relevant. I use it in my debate, whereupon I obliterate my ideological adversary, winning the respect and admiration of all of those who witnessed it.

what makes it worse is that I struggle to form sentences and regularly restart my rant because I messed up

>Eye contact is painful
>I have to plan out conversations to avoid offending people
>whenever I go to a new place I have to look at, and preferably feel every thing I can in order to feel comfortable
>while I do have a choice of fashion, I mainly pick clothes for how they feel. I'm extremely sensitive to textures in general.

Why yes, I was professionally diagnosed.

sauce?

I don't have any friends and don't want any. I only want a girlfriend.

>I mainly pick clothes for how they feel. I'm extremely sensitive to textures in general.

Velvet sweat suits?

Ouch... i been there. I go there all the time. It hurts.

Samesies on the planning convos, but ive gotten decent at it.

I never understood why they all dont do this. I dont mean to be offensive to bronies, but I have a loli fetish, and for obvious reasons i keep it a secret. I guess i just wonder why all bronies dont feel the same way? I supposed liking underage girl horse cartoons is a little better than liking sexual misconduct with underage girl human cartoons, but it feels really closely related

I got suspended by my wrists by my best friend while he tickled my armpits and ribs. He then proceeded to take off his belt and flog me while I writhed in ticklish agony with my toes just off the floor.

...

same but bf4, and jacking off all day. im 21

Please tell me you're a female. If not, just off yourself.

Actually, I hate the feel of too much velvet and silk. It tickles me, if that makes sense. A bit is fine, like boxers or something like that, but a full suit would kill me.

I prefer the feeling of fine cotton and thick leather the most.

I regularly jack off to my 4th grade teacher's armpits.

I've got POCD and Anxiety and it fucking sucks

This, for more than 50% of the time I've been conversing in my life

When my anxiety gets bad and I become nervous, my facial expression becomes a grimace. I smile uncontrollably when I'm nervous, and even more so when people are watching.

Pics

I- I think you win.

I jack off 21 times a week

>why don't bronies keep it a secret.

Because some of us are more autistic than others. The ones who go to conventions are on the high end of the autism scale while many of the bronies on 4chin actually aren't as far gone and isolate their autism to the internet.

I for example would be embarrassed as fuck to admit I like ponies publicly because my autism is somewhat mild and I'm not completely incapable of social interaction with normies.

The ones who publicly run around proclaiming their love of ponies do it because they're so socially awkward that they have no hope of making friends unless they join an outsider clic' like the bronies where in they can associate with other people as awkward as themselves.....likewise since they are so socially clueless they feel little to no embarrassment about publicly professing their enjoyment of a little girl's cartoon about rainbow colored magic horses.

>83 replies, 43 posters
>Ive posted like 5 times.
>lurkers afoot

I'm really good at planning conversation now. As per eye contact, smartphones are a godsend at least when it comes to casual convos. I'll just act like I'm doing something on the phone while talking at the same time.

...

Sup Forums is what i have instead of friends.

clique*, and ty for the reply, that is actually rather enlightening. There was a guy who was in my CS classes who wears an MLP hoody everyday, and you just described him in vivid detail

I jack off to hentai. Almost every single genre of it, too.

That's fucking sick as tits yo

you inspired me. goodbye Sup Forums

It really was autisitc, because she ugly bro

>kek