Ask a college professor anything

Ask a college professor anything.

What do you teach?

Chemistry

Educational background? University, liberal arts college, state/junior/community?

Normally I get:
>>hurr dur you should sleep with your students hurr durr

What's your occupation?

why the fuck are you here?

BS from a small four year college, PhD from an R1 institution. Now teaching at a small, private liberal arts college.

Assistant Professor of Chemistry

I have been going here since my undergrad! lolz

Also I am done with the school year, now it is just research in the summer. It has very open hours.

Well, at least it's something worthwhile and not a blow-off class.

PhD in Chemistry? Couldn't you make some serious cash in the private sector doing that?

...

Did you specialize? Any experience in the private sector?

I could, but I really enjoy teaching. Plus I really do not have a boss or get told what to do. I am extremely childish and hate having a boss.

Pretty much if I do not fail everyone or sleep with my students I get to keep my job forever. Plus I really love what I teach! Gen Chem and P Chem are awesome.

Can you tell us which college

I am highly specialized. That is typically what happens when you get a PhD.

I do have experience there, mainly as an intern though. I get offered jobs in industry pretty often too.

I would be afraid someone would say/do something, so no. I will tell you that it is in the north east.

Why are so many professors pseudo intellectual dimwits with very little real world experience?

also what do you think of "safe zones"

Why is tropic thunder one of the best movies of all time?

That's cool...so long as you enjoy your work and you're comfortable with your quality of life.

It would be awfully tempting because the private sector craves hard sciences...

Shoulda just flat out asked what you specialized in then. I'm aware of the merits a PhD brings. Lol

Nescac?

I think it really depends on the field. For example, I doubt a gender studies professor has any real world experience. However most in the STEM fields have a good idea of the general education that you will need to succeed.

I feel like safe zones are pointless. People respect your thoughts and opinions if they can be backed by logic/good ideas. If your ideas suck you should be told they suck.

Are there any students that you just fucking hate? Why do you hate them?

Cause no one went full retard in the movie.

I can't get myself to go to my university I think its a waste of time to go there when I can just learn most of the things at home, any tips to get back to my social university life?

Ah! Sorry... sometime people have no idea what the PhD even means. I use computational chemistry to explain the interface between organic molecules and metal surfaces. There is a lot of application for catalysis in my work.

I have never even heard of that school lol

Yes. This last semester I had the worst student of my life. She was extremely rude. She would bitch constantly and whine all the damn time. I really only hate whiney students.

Students who do not do any work or don't show up do not influence my life. I just fail them.

Students who care are awesome. Often times if they ask real questions, I bump them up a grade.

I think you are right. You can learn most things yourself... however if you are trying to learn a real math/science, you will need help on the way. I suggest to just do it. In terms of a social life... to be honest I fucking hated my peers until I got to graduate school. I would say to stay away from public schools. They are full of trash.

Nice, did you have to take any cool computer science courses?

Also I hate the ones who turn stuff in late, after I have graded everyone else's papers. I often just throw those out or give zeros for late homework. I do not have time for the weak students.

I took one in my undergrad, but I basically learned everything from kiddy scripting/online tutorials/research papers. I do not code a ton like some of my other collaborators though.

Do you know how to synthesize LSD, or how one could buy/synthesize the precursors?
I've been interested in chemistry, but anything not drugs related bores me.

...

Why should I ask you anything.

>everything should be in the syllabus.

>look it up in the fucking syllabus!!!

God, I hate undergrads sometimes.

I'm a computer engineering major. Was thinking of getting more into computational science in grad school since programming is my strength. Would you change anything?

so basically you use a fancy version of matlab to make glue?

If I looked in some of the tomes I have sitting around my office, and the correct precursors, I could do it. In terms of buying them, it is pretty difficult. You can make them but the impurities/yields would be poor. Just do natural stuff instead.

How 2 professor ?

HAHAHAHA!

Thanks. That made my night.

I would do it. Scientific computing is paying a lot these day.

In terms of what I would change, I wish I had more experience with coding. I do not know enough about it.

How do you like being a part of a system that enslaves the youth with crippling debt for a virtually useless education?

Not really. I use more quantum chemical calculations. And it is not really about glue but the interactions that the orbitals on the molecules overlap with the surface. It is actually quite neat because not much is known about the interface between molecules and surfaces. But I guess you are right in how I am trying to explain how stuff sticks together =P

are you making Crystal Meth?
can i have some?

Study hard, never listen to anyone, and fail undergrads!

Sweet, chemistry scares the fuck out of me though so can't do anything chem related. How difficult was your doctoral program? How much advanced mathematics do you actually employ in the field (or your research) as a computational scientist?

How often do you trade good grades for sex?

I only feel it enslaves the majors who have no real world application. Any of my students who make it through my curriculum all have jobs that pay very well.

However the rising cost of college is terrible. The prices get raised due to the number of admins and hiring more useless people around the college. It is sad.

Any advice for doing well in P chem?

I gotta take the class this year, and all I hear from people that take it, is bad things.

I am not...

Also all that crystal is for the customer!

Any advice for a 22 yo faggot who's about to enter college?
I'm gonna study business management... hopefully

yeah mr white yeah science bitch

What rhymes with orange?

so you study the atomic version of micro-welds?

The doctoral program was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I left with sever depression. I know no one who did not come out of it with extreme anxiety/depression.

In terms of mathematics a bit here/there. We use a lot of matrix mechanics.

What are some universal petpeeves that students generally wouldnt know professors have?

how much do you care when a student wants to pass and the studet does bad but keepscoming to see you for help? would you still pass them no matter what?

Spend time learning how to do calculus if you do not remember. Do every practice problem you can. Try to look at the bigger picture and realize what is the point of doing all the math (sometime some PChem professors do not explain this) as it can sometime feel pointless in the class.

But for the most part students just come and go and you dont really remember them right? Expecially since you teach gen. chem. I assume you have some pretty large classes for that.

Talk to your professors, meet in their office hours, and get internships. Do not spend the summer just relaxing or you will not end up with a job.

Your salary?

fair enough I personally despise the demonization of vocational trades After I retired from the Military I worked as an ROV pilot for $400/day and this job is obtainable with no degree whatsoever but the education system supports it's own.

Bureaucracy is like matter once created it cannot be destroyed merely displaced.

Sporange. Thank you magic the gathering lol

It could be looked at that way. I would say the work welds is extreme as it is too strong. I look more at the strength of band-aids lol

Interesting that higher level research employs matrices, though. Most people would probably assume you'd be using lots of calc. I hear chemistry/chemical engineering are some of the hardest majors, thoughts? Do you think other PhD programs may have been a little easier?

Turning in late homework is the worst. I lower a student's grade when they ask me for extra credit (it is in the syllabus). Asking for special privileges not available for everyone else in the class.

Have you done much with Rydberg atoms?

I only have class sizes up to 32 students. I try to keep in touch with any of my students who have a linked in. Also I fail about 33% of them, so the number gets even smaller. I may not remember the name, but I will remember the face.

Thanks m8

I make about 60k a year without grants/extra service.

No it doesn't?

Oh really? Is that a choice you get to make or is it just because of its a smaller campus? My chem class was pretty huge.

Any advice for a chemistry major student?

I think any science is hard because you have to find something new. Sometimes this is luck and sometimes it completely depends on your advisor. For example, my first project I had done in a week, but to do it the way my advisor wanted it took 2 years. In terms of the humanities/non science fields, they are easier. There are much less PhDs given out to those in the sciences/engineering compared to everything else.

Not in my research but I did take a course where I modeled these with something called Density Functional Theory (DFT)

The class size? It is all based on the campus. I used to teach at a place with 130 students in a section. I still remember most of them though.

THIS OP

Thats generally known as being disrespectful of the class.

What are some pet perves no one but professors would really know? What are the things professors complain about students doing at the water cooler?

Faggot?

Do you use the Hartree-Fock method often in your work?

Find internships in the summer and do as much independent research as your schedule can allow. Learn how to use a GC-MS if you are planning on going from a BS into industry.

Do you honestly enjoy it when a student challenges your ideals and/or your views on controversial subjects.
Or does this just upset you causing you dispose that student?

33% damn. Like you purposefully try to maintain this percentage, or it just usually pans out that way?

microwelds are the term for the little ripples on the surface of things, they are so small that you cant see them. Even the smoothest surface has them, and when objects sit on each other they lock into place kinda making the two objects stick together.
The way you described it, it sounded like atoms locking together via their outer electron rings or something, so it reminded me of microwelds.

I care that the student wants to pass.

If the student does bad though, they are in the wrong field. I rarely inflate grades beyond one letter grade. If a student is failing though I never bump their grade up. They are a lost cause. I am not here to push the weak along like some other majors/professors do.

Nice, good talking to you. Hope you discover some crazy shit and make a huge name for yourself, Sup Forumsro. Godspeed

Not OP, but I teach...

If you're not passing my class, you don't belong. There aren't participation trophies passed out in the real world. I'll help. I'll encourage. But if you can't pass my class, you don't belong in the next one. Its time to readjust your life goals and rethink your major.

You don't want a shitty engineer designing bridges or an enthusiastic but pathetically bad neurosurgeon poking around your brain.

Being around, working hard, asking questions will give you the benefit of the doubt, but it isn't going to give you a pass.

Nothing really out of the norm. We make fun of kids who break glassware... but there is nothing out of the norm beyond being disrespectful. I hate it when female students come in with low cut shirts trying to get me to bump their grade up, or when they ask me to fuck them.

How does it feel knowing that physics is a much harder science than chemistry?

No U

Not really. HF usually does bad as it does not get any correlation. I usually use density functional theory (DFT) as it scales better (runs faster) and can better describe the electronic exchange and correlation (basically the hard part of modeling electrons).

I do love this. However, in chemistry there are not a ton of ideas to dispute as most of it is math. I do not see it as disrespectful. I think more students should be vocal, I mean you guys are paying for it. However these days, everyone is afraid to ask questions/talk to eachother. The start of class is quite as students stare at their phones rather than talking to eachother. It sucks for you guys... that is when I used to hit on chicks lol

It usually just works out that way. I was told when I worked at Penn State I had to enforce that.

B-but why? Hot chiquitas =\= hate profbro. Is it in trade for grades you hate?

You really only see this happen in fluff majors like anthropology or philosophy. Not sure many undergrads have the capacity to argue controversial chem matters desu. Unless perhaps they are precociously well aversed in statistical mechanics and quantum mechanics.

That is a neat term and I did not know about that! Thanks for sharing. I usually work with pristine surfaces that are flat. They might still have some of these but the atoms do not really lock it... It is quite difficult to talk about this stuff via a text box, sorry! lol

Thanks! Good luck in the future.

oh really faggot as professor, why the fuck you make my econ exam feel like a level 500 class and the final 35% of our grade pussy? no othe tests, no getting back to emails. Not grading any of our work even after final. unprpared peice of shit. Free pass? As if i didnt know thre are not any free passes you idiot, structure your class a little fucking better and I may pass along with 50% of the rest of the class. fucking faggot.

I am the op and this is a fact. If you could not pass the intro class there is no way you can handle the upper level courses.