Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

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DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I GOT MY DICK STUCK IN THE DOOR AGAIN!

For goodness's sakes, Mr. Kim, save that kind of behavior for the Holodeck.

Also, I think we need to talk about my insomnia and some troubling sexual issues...

Again...the Holodeck.

Sorry, doc. So can you send someone with a plasma cutter to get me out of here?

doctor, i seem to have this muscle spasm in my lower lip that causes really strange expressions.. yeah, exactly like that.

You want someone to use a plasma cutter on your penis?!

We can't replicate you a new one.

ayyy

Aww, yiss...

I had sex with a borg. He said "I'm going to assimilate you user" and I said "I'm down for ass play" and then things happened and I woke up and now I have a robotic ass. So can I get an ass implant?

We are not here for your sexual enjoyment.

Ya gotta help me, doc. I'm plagued by Neelix heavy episodes.

So, uhhh.

Kess is pregnant...

>

What...what did you do to Kes?

Scott Bakula killed the franchise, and J J Abrams fucked the corpse raw. What do?

What are you here for?

Arab! There it is again!

Isn't it obvious?

I chose her as my mate.

To learn all that is learnable, and to assist the captain in her voyage to the Alpha Quadrant.

I didn't agree to this.

Fucking autocorrect. I scream in fear and it gets all racist.

Excellent

Why did you give me a robotic ass?

I'm not complaining; Now I can seduce Data some day.

Oh, look. She's playing hard to get.

Hey doc, Neelix here is a pedo. Kes is only 4. Sick fuck. Do you have any lotions that can fix him?

How would you know it was me? I feel you're accusing me based solely on the fact that I am Borg.

I'll show you, "hard to get."

youtube.com/watch?v=zzNs4-kRLaE

Doctor Schweitzer, my face got AIDS. How fix?

I'm 3 years old, I can make my own decisions.

Perhaps Kes is a changeling after all.

Doc, I keep having sexual dreams about this guy. Please help!

I think i pulled a thigh muscle. Either when i throw my leg over a chair to sit down or when i was throwing it over Mrs O'brian

I've met many telepaths in my billions of years in this existence, but none quite like you. This could get interesting.

Well, if you're borg, and he was borg, does it matter?

Your vital signs seem normal. Perhaps you are just hallucinating.

You may be on the wrong ship.

Yes.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand here I am. I like to keep things interesting.

... I normally wouldn't prescribe "being loaded into a torpedo casing and fired into a white dwarf"... but in your case Kessler, I think it's the best course of action

Get off my ship. You have a wife and son now.

I'm going to have to agree with the hologram on this one.

I still want an ass implant.

I think you're having a recursive memory error in your holo-matrix doctor.

No, what you NEED, is to get your metal-ass down to Engineering.

Captain Janeway! What a wonderful surprise. Given any thought to becoming my babymama?

kek

trek threads always deliver gud

I'm 40,000 light years away and what is this?

I resent that.

I also resent that. "The Hologram." We're just as much real as you, if not better.

I'm going to bed.

Chakotay, you have the Bridge.

Is voyager good?

>is Voyager good
>is it good
>IS IT
>GOOD?!

Help me, Doctor! I had salamander babies with captain Janeway.

Oh? I could go for some butt play there too.

You, me, Risa. A bottle of saurian brandy, me in a beard and you in some spots, what do you say?
There are some bright spots. The doctor is absolutely one of them. The writing isn't very consistent. Especially in regards to janeway. It also belittles the borg a bit too much. It's worth watching, but not as good as TNG or DS9

Hello? Where the HELL am I?

Yea, I liked it. I really don't understand why people hate on it so much. I guess Janeway isn't the most competent Captain. I guess. I really blame writers on that though. Not her. Some of the sci fi aspects of show were pretty bad too, like, way too much technobabble jargon that doesn't mean anything.

A better show

this guy killed SG-1

Farscape is the Greatest sci fi show of the generation
Prove me wrong

tbh Richard Dean Anderson killed it by leaving. No one could've filled his shoes

Firefly? I think Firefly's downfall is its single season. Too short. Firefly also didn't start to really shine until about 3 or 4 episodes in.

Deanna's nipples have given me a raging erection. Gonna need some assistance with this.

SG-1 killed itself when they decided to kill off Daniel Jackson. Season 8 was utter shit, and it just couldn't recover.

No, when he said farscape he meant farscape, you dumb faggot

Cancer and autism. Everywhere.

>brain on floor

In another galaxy far, far away, back in the 1980's.

What, you think it was otherwise?

Whoa, so much hate. Is it really that good? This is the first time I've heard someone make a claim it's that good.

Cancer and autism are technologies unknown to the borg. We will have to assimilate it into our collective.

that would kill the borg. they would be unable to do anything. crippled by details and an inability to button their shirts.

Farscape is tits, man. The only tv show I've ever felt compelled to watch several times in its entirety since it first aired.

Fortunately our armor doesnt button on. It is grafted to our being.

It's so good. Even the boring derivative predictable episodes are actually good.
Farscape is so good I stopped watching during the last season because I never want it to end.

Shirts are irrelevant

Then I will move it up on my list of things to watch on Netflix. It was there on my list, but I didn't know it was "first time you had sex good".

This is the worst shape-shifting I have ever seen.

I thought I told you to practice more Odo.

First season's a little iffy imo but it really comes into its own afterwards.

I meant to link Tired. Anyway, bretty good thread. Robotic assman out. Thanks bros.

I smell shoop

No... that's not shoop.

That was the episode when the random Q was frozen in the meteor and they spent the wheel episode trying to get him to not an hero.

Q brought Riker and Sir Issac Newton to testify in the tribunal they held.

I say I have some shore leave saved up.

Better not tell Kira, she has a massive Bajoran boner for you Riker 2.0.

>spent the wheel episode

...

It's better than ds9 (and ent)

>It's better than cancer and AIDs

>better than ds9

I actually liked Ds9... that end with de wraiths and shit.. and that bitch finally gets it.. ah.. sweet release... Enterprise though.. Its... meh..

But surely Riker wouldn't show up in an old uniform, that's just weird

MMmight I interject for a moment but blupppprffhhh batman

accidentally cut off a chuck of my finger, wont stop bleeding. what do?

Came on her back.

The last season was best

Im stoned.

Dr. I can't get my penis out of OP's rectum

...

I accidentally a whole bottle of coke what do?

...

I can't believe I managed to stumble across one of the best Trek threads on Sup Forums I've seen in the last several years, and it's on Sup Forums of all places. How fucking sad is it that the Trek threads on Sup Forums are so bad that I don't even bother with them anymore, since the /general/ underage faggots ruined them?

Doctor, tell me about your sexual organs.