So Sup Forums I need some serious advice.. Probably not the best place to seek it but I'm sure someone can help me

So Sup Forums I need some serious advice.. Probably not the best place to seek it but I'm sure someone can help me.

3 months ago I was in a very serious motorbike accident which almost killed me. I fractured my T12 and absolutely destroyed me leg, most likely wont be able to walk normally again due to the severity (compounded tiba/fibular and shattered my talus and a lot more).

Ever since this event all I have done is sit in front of the computer until 3 am playing games and sleep in all day. I feel suicidal because I lost everything that day including my job. I don't know who I can talk to and I don't want to talk to my gf about this (we live together)

My question is, how can I make myself feel better. I've thought about using my time to be productive and learn programming but everything is so draining, even waking up... Can you guys give me some motivation or suggestions.

Why you can't talk to your gf Sup Forumsro?
Tell her.

Not going to happen right away.

You have to resign yourself to your situation, accept it fully and let go of that is lost. Not done in one fell swoop. After that address what can be changed now and move forward with that. Learning programming is a good idea if you like it.

Lose expectations on this, bad or good, and start putting work in.

I promise it feels better to work towards something even if you change or don't get it than just giving into self pity. Fuck self pity. Do not tolerate it from yourself. People have always survived worse.

You have a fucking gf, BTW.

Many here would change spots with you, I know that seems like it dismisses your pain and discomfort, I just want you to see you have good things in your life.

teaching yourself how to program is hard dude, try getting your normal life together before doing something like that. Also try to see if you can exercise without using your leg, physical exercise kinda = motivation for me.

File for disability for the time being,

Learning programming can be very very frustrating at times. Probably not the best idea. Try something a bit more creative - woodworking or something, idk.

Get some meds for your mood though. And try and talk with your gf - no good reason not to.

You should take up a hobby that gets you out of the house and away from the computer. Something that doesn't require walking.

I've heard riding motorbikes is a fun way to pass the time and can really instill a zeal for life back into you! You should go for that.

Good luck, OP.

You need to talk to your gf about this. I went through a similar situation as you and chose not to tell my gf or family. It is the primary reason why me and my ex went different ways. Trust is everything, and telling her how you feel i can only imagine would help you out. Sure, you feel like a weak ass beta fuckboy. But to help yourself to get out of this depression its better to include your loved once. I wish i did this. Dont do it alone user.

Did your job fire you because of your condition? Because I do believe that shit is illegal.

Sup brother.

Go see a shrink.

/thread

get fit and be an inspiration to others

If (you) pray hard enough Jesus will make (you) happy.

I can, I just don't really want to. I think she understands by the sheer fact I've lost all motivation and I hate going outside now, I refuse to until I'm "better" i just tell her/.

Thanks, that's some good advice. I can't get over this though as I'll most likely have a limp for life which upsets my greatly. I really appreciate your advice, it actually really makes me feel better your words. I'm going to try write up a routine and learn c# so I can get employed, because all my previous employment has being labouring.

Not sure I can, workcover wont cover me. I was on my way to work but I was doing illegal things on the motorbike. So I'm shit out of luck there.

I can't get outside the house, the thought of people judging me upsets me a LOT. If I have a permanent limp for the rest of my life I doubt I will ever go outside in public again.

I lost my job, due to not being able to work, not the crash or incident in itself.

Remember this OP, no matter how bad you think you have it there is someone else out there that has it worse off than you. You gotta turn that draining feeling into something you can feed off of. Tell yourself you can do it, you can push yourself to the limits and get another job, or walk better and better every day brah. You got this OP, don't kill yourself or anything like that. You got this, just takes time!

Ahhhhhh, that was nice.

Learn to make guitars its not that hard and the satisfaction of playing on your own is great, you can also sell them in the future for profit

Thanks :) I will be getting another motorbike, my craving has died down a lot, but I really really want to ride again.

thats really niche, doubt a lot of people including OP will enjoy doing that

Get unemployment, and disability, also food stamps until you're back on your feet (or foot)
Be sure to eat as healthy as you can (none of that quick fix shit and ramen)
^i advise you seek /fit/s help on that and explain your situation. A healthy diet also curbs depression (a little, exercise + diet works best) and when you're going through therapy and learning to walk again, you'll be damn glad you did

Pick up a foreign language if you can if you wanna be productive
Multi lingual people get better job opportunities
Who knows? Maybe this is how you pick up a cushy job interpreting for business executives or some shit (idk how it works but learning Hindi or Chinese pays big)

Time stamp

Its just woodworking man, you dont need to walk that much and its all about patience and focus. Op needs to take off his mind from the accident and something demanding will surely do it. But I understand its kimd of niche..

agreed, this kind of thing can be really theraputic

Is your Knee and Hip still intact? If so try to amputate your leg below your knee joint. Not joking. Go hit the gym afterwards and train with ex-militaries who also lost limbs. It will get you back on track in no time.

If your whole torso and lower back is fucked gg; but that is the risk you knew whilst driving a bike. Even if you are careful, others are not. You are just a number in statistics, and statistics are always against biker.

Acknowledge that you're spiraling into depression and that you need professional help. Also come to terms with that this will take time, it's a shitty situation but you're still alive

phones upstairs and girlfriend is asleep, sorry, these are some pictures from my orthopaedic check-up, my legs a little better but still has all the bumps and deformities. Also my range of movement is fucked.

You're welcome.

You have to see it as mundane in a way.

All over the world, people are getting on with their lives after incredible injury. It's actually commonplace.

You are as strong as you allow yourself to be, there is no "supposed to" in life, meaning, you will determine what happens next. Your attitude, what you do day by day decides how well things go. Feel lucky that you are able to see this relatively young, most never realize that this is how it always will be with life.

It's going to be tough, and people will cheer on you for the wrong things and for the wrong reasons, all your greatest victories will be your own and probably secret. But you can make things better.

Oh, and put some thought into how important the people in your life are. It sound shitty but you are for now pretty disabled and you need physical help, they want to do it, but keep it mind it's hard on them too. Not as hard as on you, but have patience, because they are.

Don't let it get you down. Do your best to try walking again. Don't let yourself get fat and youll be fine

Op what happens in the crash ? We're you speeding ? Tell the story? Please

Thanks i will seriously consider it.

Timestamp or HopTFO

I was in hospital for a month, I had 8 operations, mainly clean outs, removing rocks, sticks, all sorts of shit inside my leg. I had infection disease team working with me. I asked them if they would amputate my leg as I was over fevers from infections and feeling like I was dying going in and out of theatre like a test experiment. This ordeal was harder than watching my father die in my arms.

If I could go back and had 3 options in hind-site.

1, Die at the scene.
2. Amputate my leg.
3. Go through it all again.

I would pick it in that order. I will never, ever go to a hospital again, I rather die.

Wow, you are exactly right. This has taught me the people who truly care. Friends I thought who were friends never came around and others totally surprised me visiting.

My girlfriend has being my rock, she is really sick with an autoimmune condition at the moment and works full time to support us. I feel really guilty about putting extra burden on her while shes in and out of neurosurgeon appointments and MRI scans herself.

But you're spot on and I really appreciate you kind words. I need to find some sort of passion and at least benefit have you form this experience. I think if I keep wasting time gaming I will feel bitter after I'm "recovered".

People are worst off and how the fuck I didn't die that morning is beyond me, but I can't help but wish that it did because right now my whole life is upside down and spinning around from all the endones and lost direction.

Doing a wheelie being a fucktard. Came off my GSXR 1000 at about 90kmh and almost died.

thanks bro I really do appreciate your kind words

Self pity. Fuck that.

Game for a while if you want, man, it's called convalescing.

Your life will better if you make it so. It's just uphill, not fair, very hard and all that and you have to anyways. You wanna feel tougher than us Normie's by the end of it, feel free to do so, we haven't gone through shit like that to compare. But you don't get shit till you work for it, disabled or not, that will always be.

welcome to polytrauma-care. I absolutely understand your reasoning.

Amputation is sadly a no-go in orthopaedics; comes with lots of other complications but in your case I'd further pursue it as an option. Please don't judge the hospital for the severity of your situation. They acted, so you can't sue them. Too many docs are afraid to make a call, so blame your citizen, not the clinic.

Suicide/dying is for cowards. Your problem, if handled correctly, is temporary and can be overcome. Don't take the easy road like many young patients. Treat your health as your most dearest hobby (like riding a bike). It needs attention, hard work and dedication. Too many youngfucks just lack the spine to overthrow minor problems and get sucked into psychological downspiral.

Ie, it is all in your hands. I came back from intracranial bleeding due to a cavernoma with extended memory loss. Im now almost done with my studies and on my way becoming a doctor.

When i was in hospital I was loaded on drugs. I got a feeling that after this accident I wasn't myself. Like I seen the word as a different place. I'd often look outside my window at the mountains and people walk around at the university and I would forget my name. Like the person I was on the day of the accident died. Then I started wondering if the world would ever be the same again. It was by far, the worst feeling I've ever encountered.

At the scene my leg didn't have a pulse. My girrlfriend rushed to emergency and they told her they most likely will have to amputate my leg, why the fuck they did not is beyond me and really upsets me. I tell everyone who says "well at least you got a leg" NO I wish it was amputated so at least I can walk normally again.

I had the same downward spiral of depression when I injured my shoulder badly.

One way to cope with it was to research Athletes or famous people who had a similar problem and look at their outcome.
It keeps you positive to know that someone has been through the same (or worse) and came back stronger.

>My question is, how can I make myself feel better. I've thought about using my time to be productive and learn programming but everything is so draining, even waking up... Can you guys give me some motivation or suggestions.

It took me a long long time to figure this out, and 99% of the depressed people on Sup Forums you see haven't figured it out, but the mind and body are one. If you don't have a healthy body you wont have a healthy mind.

The key to lack of depression is as simple as:

>Regular sunshine
>Regular exercise
>Regular social interaction
>Good sleep
>Good diet

If you're frustrated/unhappy/anxious you're lacking in one of those areas.

One other thing I'll mention is that you need to learn to accept your accident and the problems as part of your life now. Someone told me this when I was diagnosed with diabetes (for me it was never a big deal and I didn't think anything about having to deal with it) so I shrugged it off. Later I got frustrated and pissed off at having to deal with X Y Z because of diabetus. Eventually I learned he was right, I needed to learn that the problems and things that people don't have to deal with were now part of me, that is who I am now and finding ways to deal with it makes me satisfied in life rather than pissed off.

Bit general, but I hope some of this helps, rock on.

>Amputation is sadly a no-go in orthopaedics

Fuck. I smashed my ankle bone nine months ago. Broke the tibia too. He said it was like a plate being thrown out of a five story window. Finally out of the external fixator and casts. Hurts to walk on foot quite a bit. Not sure if it's always gonna hurt when i walk. They talked about a joint fusion ten years down the road.

I was actually hoping for amputation+prosthetic. Fuck it, i would rather have a wooden foot than one in constant agony from arthritis and i still have issues with mobility anyway.

Honestly OP, as for passing time. There will be months that go by surprisingly quickly but there will be days that drag on. I stupidly started smoking again three months into recovery. It did help time pass but i obviously still regret it.

Music helped, t.v shows, reading. Coming to end of it, i feel like i have so much more appreciation for the simple things though. Like going to the shop for yourself and getting to look around. Jumping down the stairs when i want to go somewhere quickly... Not having a limp.

I just try and think of Wilma Rudolph on the bad days. Mind over matter. Just adapt.

Thanks for the advice, you are right, I need to accept it as much as I can.

What really upsets me is when people think this is just a broken leg. I let them know I've broken my tail bone, collar bone, toes and knuckles. Well....

This is NOTHING like a broken bone. I came off my motorbike, snapped my leg in half, fractured my vertebrae and laid on the cold bitchumen for 20 minutes thinking I was dying. Funny enough my back hurt more than my leg even though my leg had bones sticking out of it and facing the wrong way. I hate it when people down play the injury which a lot of my friends have done.

I don't want a sympathy medal just people to understand this has really fucked me up mentally.

But anyway that's my little rant over. I really do appreciate you words, I try my best to just forget about the injury while I game, but I want to stop gaming and face reality before it catches up with me.

Discuss it with an experienced surgeon. I don't know the details and indication, but reestablishing mobility is key to rehabilitation of your life.

Yeah, you tasted the bitter sweet end of all these mindblowing narcotics and psy drugs. They do work and they do detatch you from reality. Anyone who has gone through forced withdrawal is scarred.

Just thinking some people take these drugs for recreation frightens me. So shortsighted.

> I was actually hoping for amputation+prosthetic.

thing is: amputation is no benevolent option, its rather an alternative with a different mindset. While plates and screws are quick and your outcome will be okay combined with the usual annoyance, amputation requires hard work, rehab and continued esprit to be effective.

I believe that the work required after amputation helps people to have a new goal. That counters post op depression and immobility

Down the track in a few years could I pay for amputation legally?

Im considering removing my leg if I got a bad limp.

this looks like something out of chemistry class
how the fuck is this set up helping anything

Called an external fixator, to hold my bones in place while they heal..

sry, my knowledge is limited. Consult your doc. But I guess it is specific to medical standards depending where you live. If you insist on having daily problems with mobility and meds won't help options quickly narrow down to amputation.

You don't have to be truthful to reach your goals.

I'd also talk to young amputees and study their rehab. It is after all a final solution. Don't listen to research papers. Most amputations are done to old (60ish yrs old) with lots of problems (diabetes / PAVK) that kill them either way, look for post-traumatic/military stories.

so you are like some dinosaur skelly in museum
is your resting bed in a showcase
kek

>This is NOTHING like a broken bone. I came off my motorbike, snapped my leg in half, fractured my vertebrae and laid on the cold bitchumen for 20 minutes thinking I was dying. Funny enough my back hurt more than my leg even though my leg had bones sticking out of it and facing the wrong way. I hate it when people down play the injury which a lot of my friends have done.

Try being type 1 diabetic for 20 years and counting. That's life, get over it. You will have people close to you who have known you all your life and wont care or change anything or help you in any way.

Like you say, it's not their job to care what happened to you or know or even acknowledge it. It's YOUR job to explain it to them as best you can and deal with the problems that now exist.

Anyway, sounds like you're smart enough to get it. I'd strongly suggest joining the gym and making some new friends and shit, all help in staying busy, active and away from depression.

dignitas.

there is this video about a crippled guy who became very successful , forgot his name but the dude is pretty hardcore.

Never talk feelings with your girl, the moment they see you being dependant on them they leave

Feelings are for close friends and your mum

That said - OP life seems shit. You have to accept the loss of you abillities, but that doesn't mean your life is over. You're in a rough patch right now, the roughest that there exist - because you have to get through it all by yourself.

And you can - why? Because you've survived so god damn long that giving up is not a fucking option! You inabllities don't define you, your actions does. Become the best you that you allow yourself to be. Be the best goddamn crippled Programmer if that what YOU want. Just let you - do you, because when you're confident in what you do and how you do it - nothing can tear you apart, going outside won't be an issue for you. Because you know you're good and you don't need to prove that to anyone.

So what is the catch?

It's going to be hard OP
But you can do it

Best of Skill - Luck is for the weak