I've been stealing booze from my work for the past couple of weeks, since I ran out of money and Im an alcoholic...

I've been stealing booze from my work for the past couple of weeks, since I ran out of money and Im an alcoholic. Ive been stealing good shit, because if Im gonna get canned for theft, Im not gonna drink the bottom-shelf shit I usually drink. Its Jameson Caskmates, tonight.

I came straight home, took two double shots, smoked a half a bowl, took two more double shots, puked, took one more double shot, and finished my bowl. Truly, this is how man was meant to live.

Also, general Alcoholism thread.

>Truly, this is how man was meant to live.
> took two more double shots, puked, took one more double shot,

A man's supposed to live by purposely inducing himself into alcohol poisoning, throwing up, and then drink more? Man, your life sounds shitty as fuck. Not to mention the overall loss of money/booze just from throwing up alone. Learn to handle your shit, so that you can become a more functional alcoholic. I'm sure you're the type of person that does everything half-assed in your life. At the very least, you should do your best to become the most functional alcoholic possible.


That, or grow the fuck up, stop hitting the sauce so damn hard, and practice some self control..

Im usually very high-functioning and can totally handle my shit. But today was a rough day and Im guzzling the shit. Its abnormal for me, which is what prompted me to start the thread in the first place.

Also, check your sarcasm detector, faggot.

Do you know anything about brandy or cognac? I'm looking to get into them but I don't know which ones are supposed to be good.

I'm drinking the same user. Good stuff.

I paid for mine, though. I have $5500 in the bank.

There are tiers to that shit.

>V.S = Very Special. This is the bottom of the decent shit.

>V.S.O.P = Very Special Old Pale, meaning the youngest brandy in the blend was aged for at least 6 years.

>X.O. means Extra Old and they are aged for a minimum of 6 years, but usually a lot more.

If only I had the money... I just watched season 2 of True Detective and they guzzle $250 bottles of Blue Label like its fuckin NOTHING.

It's pretty nice user. I can't afford blue though. I do have some glen fidditch.

I would "settle" for any kind of single-malt. My buddy spoiled me with some Hibiki once, and whiskey has never been the same.

Ok so XO's the best, but what are the price ranges? Also what brands should I be looking for? I'm thinking of getting a 375ml bottle and 30 bucks would be the most I'd spend at the moment.

How much is a bottle? Should i grab one for some friends coming over tomorrow? I was just going to get some more glen fidditch or otherwise johnny black, for about 45~ $

Very true. Reads exactly how I was thinking.

You can pick up some Suntory Hibiki for like $60 bucks if youre willing to fork it over. Id save it for dates instead of friends, but that would imply I have dates these days.

Tullamore Dew for this poor fag. My drinking is becoming a problem, so I am supposed to be stopping. My girlfriend picked me up a cider for "being good"

fuuck user, gimme some whiskey

You can do a lot with that much for that small of a bottle. I honestly am not a huge cognac person. Its too sugary for me. Courvoisier, Hennessy, and Remy Martin are go-to brands, and they sell all types.

Tullamore Dew is mad decent. Im a major poor-fag as well, so thats actually a treat for me. Im used to Evan Williams garbage.

Also, we have matching dubs. Lets get married and fuck.

yeah true, It's a special occasion thing. I just swill Jamesons, usually

Is it really that good? Even compared to a single malt?

If you get another 22 dubs Im gonna shit myself, holy fuck....

Also, yeah, its worth it. Its that Japenese perfection. Its smooth as all shit, kinda sweet on the uptake, with a good heat going down. Obviously, you cant go wrong with a single malt, but if youre used to Glen, give the Hibiki a try. Its totally different, and Im not sure how to describe it..

Full disclosure, I am a weeaboo faggot, but I swear I had never heard of Hibiki till my buddy put two fingers of it in my hand. Its good shit.

Alright thanks. I usually just get whiskey or scotch but I had this one brandy, I have no idea what it was at a family gathering and really liked it. My go-to drink is whiskey but I occasionally get bored of it and feel like trying other things.

Best of luck in your hunt, user. I only know about fancy cognacs because of mainstream rap/hip-hop, and the small amount of knowledge picked up from selling it. I cannot be your Spirit Guide tonight, as much as I wish I could be.

I saw a bottle in this one bar not too long ago so I guess I'll try a shot sometime before committing to a bottle.

>i'm "high functioning"
>I steal alchohol and smoke week

Lol.

Ayyyyy I'm on to jameson caskmates tonight too b/ro. My favorite Irish whiskey, haven't drank an Irish whiskey I don't like yet. I paid for mine though.

Definitely a good idea, but I dont think you will be disappointed. Have you heard of Pigs Nose scotch? Its a blend of 12 different single malts that is supposed to be smooth as a velour ballsack. Only $40 for a fifth. Ive been wanting to try it for months, now.

Mah nigga! Im legit jealous you paid for yours. I feel like a degenerate fuckup. But I gotta stay sauced, otherwise the demons come out.

Learn to fuckin' spell basic words and I might take your criticism seriously.

When was the last time you washed the three X's off the back of your hand, you fuckin' tool? I'm drunk as fuckin' balls right now and my conventions are well-proper.

Puked from 8 shots and you call yourself an alcoholic? What are you a fucking pussy? And you seem to have enough money for weed. You're stealing because you're a klepto.

8 shots within 5 min is what happened to trigger my body's natural defense against alcohol poisoning. Not knowing that basic fact doesnt make you a stupid faggot.

What makes you a stupid faggot is that you think weed needs to be paid for... lololol

Old copy pasta fooling the new friends maXpar bros

>8 shots within 5 min is what happened to trigger my body's natural defense against alcohol poisoning
so pussy confirmed. sorry to hear you're such a huge faggot user

I posted a similar thread 2 years ago after I came home from work and guzzled 3 pints of vodka. If you truly remember that shit, I worship you as a Sup Forums God.

If not, fuck off, an hero, and do it in a way that shows up on the news.

"You wanna fuckin fite me, m8?! I will fuckin beat ur ass while guzzling a 50 gallon drum of moonshine because FUCK YOU, IM NOT INADEQUATE, I DONT HATE MY DAD, FUCKYOUFUCKYOU..."

etc etc...

last time I checked alcoholism isn't really about getting black out, just about not getting that fucking dry shakey, stomach upset thing. Never really figured you would take 8 shots at once, maybe a bit of chugs to get back to equilibrium, but what?

i also have 300 confirmed kills if you were wondering

This Sup Forumsro gets it. When you get forced to spend 8 stressful hours dead-sober, you compensate in weird fuckin ways.

In the story it was 6 shots then you puked and then you did the other 2.
6 shots is not puke worthy frendo

Also, As soon as I get home, I try to get as drunk as possible as soon as possible because my nicotine dependency is tied in to my alcohol dependency, and I cant enjoy a cig unless Im shitfaced. Hence, my desire to fuck myself up as soon as I can, to justify my smoking.

Only granny's and niggers drink that shit

>truly this is how man is supposed to live

6 double shots, you dumb fag-tron. In fact, its actually more, since the shot-glass Im using is INSANE. Each shot I take equals two whole swallows of alcohol, at the very least.

This nigger gets it.

Haha enjoy being poor and dying early

That makes it a blended whisky, and it looks nasty as shit to be honest.