Sup Forums I'm addicted to fapping...

Sup Forums I'm addicted to fapping. I used to be 100% straight (Albeit super beta) But now since I've fucked myself up from fapping so much, I've progressed from vanilla porn, to shit like DP/Gangbangs, to traps, and finally to wanking to dicks. This cycle has progressed from when I first started looking at porn in the late 2000s when I was i high school to now.

I wank probably 3-4 times a day on average, and I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I have no energy everyday, I have invasive thoughts in my head all the times (Actually more like songs stuck in my head that I cant get rid of, no joke) IO find it SUPER hard to concentrate, comprehend even the most simple of things sometimes. I dont even feel like a fucking human half of the time.

Thing is, If I saw 98% percent of the shit I masturbate to IRL, I wouldn't even be tuned on, it's this "fantasy" shit in my head that compels me to wank to the most awful of things. I wnt to feel normal, ut its like a cycle. Feel depressed/self doubting and simultaneously horny - --> Wank - - -> feel worse - - - refrain from waking for a bit - - -> Feel bad still - - -> relapse. I've tried so many times to stop, but I always feel like it doesnt matter, and I know thats the wanking part of me talking. I feel like I could live a fufilling life, or waay closer to it than where I'm at now. Imm college dropout, have no direction in life, have a part time retail job (11/hr), live at home (Pay rent though) and Im 23. Holy shit Sup Forums please call me a faggot and give me advice. I've even tried /nofap/ to no avail.

I feel constantly lonely, depressed, angry, bitter. I feel like no one understands me. Even me. If I did, I would know why I'm doing this to myself and stop. I feel like a part of it is because I of my depression ADD (Not self diagnosing, actually professionally diagnosed, and let me tell you, this shit fucks with how you think. Wouldn't wish it on the dirtiest nigger)

how can I end this cycle, and reclaim my life?

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link.dabebook.com/3
twitter.com/AnonBabble

It's too soon to post his face. I'm still in denial.

I know bro, have yo listened to blackstar? Can't say it's a 100 percent perfect LP, but it's certainly a damn fine 8/10 swan song

dude it's just fapping lol
i've jerked it to some pretty disgraceful, fucked up shit
i've also gone months on end without fapping at times
just spank it to whatever you're into at the time

IT'S JUST A PHASE, MOM.

I was diagnosed with adult add and depression. Those aren't your issues. The depression is probably a symptom of your self love. Take some aderal and sleep alot. Anytime you wanna jerk go outside. Or try to hook up with a tranny on clist or backpage.

I definitely feel like wanking it depletes my energy, because I have made it to no fap for a week before and I always felt like I was returning to my "normal self" or how I am really supposed to be. When I was in college I manage like 2 and a half weeks and felt really amazing, but I hit a wall call "flatlining" where basically you feel like a robot, really numb, distanced, etc. (Even more so than now) Other people refraining from fapping report the same. Needless to say I failed to pull through, but the point is I feel like it's detrimental to y life, I know no fap isnt a magic bullet, but I'd make it 1000 times easier to set goals and pursue them.

Man, I've been contemplating that, and thats a huge issue, because I dont think im really like that, it's addiction compelling me to want this shit, but it aint really me. Ive looked for trannys on backpage, even contacted a few but chickened out. Ive contacted a few dudes on craigslist too, but I just end up fapping to them, and when I'm done Im like "What the fuck have I done" and Im just disgusted. Like I said, it's not reaaly truly me that wants this faggoty shit, its my addiction. I thought maybe if I went through with it one day, I'd not like it,(As Ive seen others on here post) and it would stop my addiction when reminded of the reality of hooking up with trannies/dudes. But I dont want it to get to that point.

If it's really bothering you go to you Dr. and get some anti-depressants. Some sertraline will knock that sex drive down, and when you do feel like fapping it'll take you half an hour to get off. If you teach yourself to jack it ambidextrously you could get some buff arms or just have one really buff right arm for delivering super sweet haymakers and uppercuts

Also I'd like to add that this fapping to gay shit has been going on for like 4 years now, so definitely beyond the "phase" point"

Bruh, there's nothing wrong with fapping once a day. Hell, once in awhile twice a day or three times if your really stressed out, but what you're doing is not normal obs and a symptom of stress.

The only way you are going to stop this shit is if you immediately take up either weight lifting or a martial art to get the excess stress/anxiety out of your system through exercise. Also try meditation and a better diet. Either do all these things to better yourself or you will go down a dark path indeed.

LOL. Thanks friend. That genuinely made me fucking laugh. I really would rather forgo meds as a.) Poorfag w/o med insurance, and b.) Even if I had said insurance I dont want to be reliant upon pills when a behavior change is primarily what I need, I just need to figure out how to get there.

I haven't laughed so hard from an Internet post in years. Thank you friend.

OP if you really want to end it you have to put yourself in an environment where porn is inaccessible for at least a year. I recommend backpacking.

seriously! What a way to go.

Yeah, I have done some light research (YEs a google search) and I have found that exercize is widely recommended. I have gained a lot of weight recently, and Ive always struggled to keep my weight down as I go from normal to chubby really quickly. I weigh 190lb right now and I feel horrible. 2 years ago I could jog a half marathon though. I need to do more than jhogging, but its easy, no equipment, and no people :) Guess I do need to pick up the another hobby, and add more exercises (Not cardio as you've mentioned)

Yeah I agree. You're going to end up fapping to loli and clothed hebe like the degenerates who followed the spiral down, and it goes lower.

Pick up a few hobbies and like a said start exercising. You'll be so sore all you'll want to do is eat and sleep.

Also make sure in whatever free time you have to do something mentally as well. Whether it's reading or exercising.

Doing puzzles. Whatever.

Though, think of those poor schlobs who had no fapping material and went nuts and raped and murdered people. I think a world in which we have fapping material is probably a safer better world. I was really depressed off and on in cycles until I hit about 32 yrs, and then suddenly it all went away. I think I literally grew another part of my brain that had been missing or malfunctional. It's crazy how stable I feel. It helped that I moved to live alone for a few years. My fapping did get a little untethered, but I still worked and lived like a normal person. But not having to deal with other people's problems for a while combined with whatever ace thing happened to my brain I imagine, really helped me. True story.

I've always fantasized about doing something like this, or even leaving the country and going to either Germany/France/Switzerland and living cheap from youth hostels, but I am so far in fucking debt I dont know what to do. I will file bankruptsy from medical debt, but it wont clear my FedLoan shit, and I am already behind on oppayments

Cause really all your doing on is taking on all your stress and anxiety out on your cock/mind with perversions and then trying to cum to gain a little relief.

Watched lockup and prisoners who are locked up in a cell with little contact with people all constantly masturbate to try to gain relief.

Yep, the world sucks for those of us in debt. I definitely hear you. Crazy to imagine how other people do it, how do they afford it?

Nah it's at least a 9, girl loves me she backstar are both easily a 10. It's such a perfect Bowie album for 2016, 44 years after ziggy

Stop jerking off so much because if you actually fuck a girl you won't be able to cum without uskng your hand to finish.

I only say this because I was in the same situation. My life was hectic, I wasn't getting laid and I had a ton if sexual frustration. I was fapping every chance I could. I burnt out every straight fetish there is, and when I started to degenerate I started to fap to loli, not because I like kiddies but because I needed the extra stimulus of it being taboo, and eventually loli wasn't enough. That's when I took steps to fix my body, mind and life. Now that I'm healthier, I only fap once a day and it's to my original fetish (chubbies). It's a slippery slop. Hope you don't go down it too.

Those two song are definitely very strong, with BS being the apex imo, also I can't give everything is up there too, but I find Sue (In a season of Crime) to be a little weak and also Lazarus is good, but not the strongest. By default I dont gives 10/10's and Above mentioned criticisms drop it a point.

tyhat being sai, it is EXTRODINARY how a damn near 70 year old man can make shit this amazing. If I didnt know Bowie, I would never believe this was from a 69 year old. A true artist of the ages.

>Tfw as a rule everytime i fap to traps or shemales i always jerk off to normie shit afterwards even if i have to force myself

Not gay at all this way, get on my level.

>how can I end this cycle, and reclaim my life?
Keep at it and you'll end up straight again eventually.

This is very related, David Bowie legit saved me from being gay, when the news dropped about him passing away i was jerking off to a shemale glory hole scene, stopped immediatly and started to listen Blackstar on loop like 15 times.

By the times i was able to stop i realized i had 7 shemales videos open, my hand still sticky with cream and a semi boner full of shame, i realized that Bowie wouldn't want this for me and closed them all, deleted all my accounts including the skype where i was "The master" of over 10 sissies and now everytime i get the urges i fire up Blackstar and a czech casting video.

Thank you based Bowie.

Christ . . . amazing! Thanks man.

"I know Bowie wouldn't want this for me." Dude that is kinda a really good way to think about it. I'll keep this in mind man. Thanks for sharing this with us, I know shit like this can hard to share, even on an anonymous image board lol.

It would be silly as fuck to share with friends or family but it has helped me great deal, hope it helps you too pal.

Bowie love is the best. I keep mentally saying so long, even though he's already so far away.

What about the Death Grip?
Any problems with the stiffness of your dick?

THIS.

I find I'm no good for the first week anyway, I can fuck 'em but I can't cum. After about a week I get used to them and fall in love, and then I'm cumming every which way.

Not really when I wank. I did fuck a girl I used to work with though, she was I'd say 6.5/10 defs not a girl you'd be ashamed of, but nothing great. I ended up not cumming, got super soft after she was done blowing me, so yeah, it's a problem. More info: She was a massive whore though, admitted to me she fucked over 50 dudes (I wrapped that shit up lol) I fucked her so I would lose my virginity at 21, I was heading for wizard status, so I took the chance I got. Thing is, besides being fat (190) I am actually kinda attractive, not Brad Pitt or Favio , but definitely better looking than the girl. Men do seem to think higher of themselves than they actually are though, so maybe I'm a 6/10 myself instead of a 7.5/8 (In the face, body is like a 3/10 at best)

Some girls aren't really good cock suckers. My first girlfriend was, so generally when I get soft in someone's mouth I can't help but feel it's not really my fault.

...

h she was fine at the blowie, it's just that when it was time for me to actually fuck I fell short, so it was on me for sure. And of course induced by years of wanking no doubt

link.dabebook.com/3

Yeah, but let me just say, for the record, that I think 'years of wanking' doesn't take the brain much time to reacclimatize from, just change those inputs for a week or so. But you have to have good reason to change the inputs, otherwise you'll gravitate back to the other inputs.

Long term brain damage is different, like repeated alcohol withdrawal causing seizures, those are thought patterns, chemical inputs, and electrical processes that the brain really hardwires. Hasn't been my experience with sex though. Still, you might want to find a kinky woman rather than a plain vanilla one, and that just makes sense. If you've got kinky sensibilities, that's who you are. It's not an addiction or whatever that you're gonna walk back from, it's like liking the color red. You're not gonna train yourself not to like red anymore, it's just part of the palette that you've got for appreciating being alive. Try to make it safe, keep it from causing anybody any pain or damage, and enjoy this life you've got. Go for walks. Enjoy flowers. Pet a cat. Have fulfilling sex. Eat a fancy omelet for brunch. Drink Beer. And so on. I'm not a doctor, but this is what I'm thinking might be the right answer at the moment.

Thank you Based Bowie.

And don't let yourself get too down. Physical stuff makes a difference, take vitamins, go for walks, get some exercise. Depression is worse than fapping. Fapping you will do when you are happy and when you are sad. Probably more when you are sad, but it's not the cause of the sadness. Fix the depression, do all the things that you know make you feel better, even though you feel like crap and don't want to. And do that every time you get down into the dumps and come back up for just enough air to be able to act rational. You won't want to, but it will make a difference that will make things better.

I have only read part of your thread but maybe one of the things I could offer you to help you (that help me when I don't want to fap) is just stop watching porn. It's much easier to stop excesively (whatever that means for you) fapping without it at least for me. I've had no fap streaks that lasted 2-3 weeks (didn't really tryhard that much) that ended the minute I started watching porn

I 100 percent agree depression is much worse than fapping, but for me, they kind of go hand in hand. Granted, if I never fapped a day in my life, I would probably still be predisposed to depression, and probably would still have it, but I think fapping is kinda like putting water on the depression fire.

Definitely man, but the urge to look at porn is so powerful. I really do need hobbies, but I constantly feel like shit/lifeless which is why I do nothing but fap and the cycle continues. If I do break out of it, it's usually only for a day or 2