Hey Sup Forums I'm feeling like killing myself lately and here's why

Hey Sup Forums I'm feeling like killing myself lately and here's why
>be 21 yo me
>no idea what I'm doing with my life
>tried out different stuff for work but nothing felt like I could do it for more than 5 years without having a mental breakdown
>been doing fuck all the past year except for 2 unpaid internships
>losing interest in most of my friends so I'm often spending my time alone
>when I'm alone literally all I do is wanking and smoking joints
>my dad had his second heart attack 2 months ago due to smoking
>won't stop smoking despite coughing up blood and tar
>feel like he's gonna die soon but somehow I'm unable to talk about anything emotional with him
>I also recently discovered how fucked up and corrupt the world really is
>feel like I woke up from the matrix
>there's no way for me to change this so why even keep going

Worst thing is that I am fully aware that my problems aren't even real problems compared to what other people are going through.
But I still feel like a pile of shit and the only thing I enjoy about life is sleeping. I would literally stay in bed for the rest of my life if I could.

>inb4 an hero
>inb4 pussy

Pic unrelated

Im in the same boat.just my dad isnt like dying

Quit being weak. Smoke out of a bong.

>feel like I woke up from the matrix
kinda get what ur saying, i won't get into details but i'm having an extremely life-changing hard time the last couple of months. u feel like u kinda see too much of what's "beyond" things, and u get tired of this.
i can promise you, things will get better only by how you see things. live with this, understand what's going on, how to cope with this shit, remember your younger self how you used to have fun from time to time, and that it was for realz. slowly but surely, and only if u ain't giving up, ull see u don't need to think so fucking deep into the "truth" cause you'll understand that it's not precise, and you can see things in a different way.
In other words, u found a new truth. horrible truth. explore this world, understand wtf is going on and carry on to MIX the world before and the new one. im serious - don't give up.

welcome to the club , don't be a such a pussy and search for a reason :)

This. And buy a bong.

i know exactly what you mean
Just let eh Cancer take you away from this cruel, cruel world

Oh and try to smoke less weed, atleast abit less. like, maybe only in the evenings. weed amplifies everything. and if ur in an endless loop of depression or "lifeless" life, it might make it all realy more fucked. try to smoke less.
and im sorry to hear with your dad, it's not simple at all. never ever feel "blamed" for something, or for not talking with him etc. it will block you in the loop even more. ull be good man, just hang on tight. i mean it.

don't listen to him user. keep smoking, never stop smoking.
weed=happiness
happiness=weed
also try mushrooms and maybe LSD.
if anything do LSD 1st

genuinely understand your situation
(matrix, everything fucked thing)
buy a motorcycle
sounds dum but will change your life
sparks conversation with interesting people
you will find yourself exploring your slice of the world more\will spark felling of freedom and wanderlust
trust fam, shit works.

>weed amplifies everything

Not really. Maybe just smoke better weed.

Problems are relative. Do some lsd or some shit

(samefag) would recommend dual sport bikes for maximum exploration/options

Don't listen to him , this is just a fucked up cycle.... don't try to be a drug fking addict :D

very weak bait, thou im sure u realy meant not to stop. (cute try btw :)) half agree with u, personaly i think just smoking abit less, even still every day but just a % less. :)

Yeah I think we're on the same page. It's just like I started to see connections between different things that I wasn't aware of when I was younger. This new world that has revealed itself for me in the past months feels like a giant scam. Like we're all slaves serving a tiny minority.
I suppose I could just mix my old 'happy' world with this new one but I feel like that wouldn't work as I would just be lying to myself.
Thanks for your advice though!

Although I am not denying that you definetely have some problems and some lame circumstances going on, it also sounds like you are suffering from clinical depression.You should see a mental health professional, would probably help you heaps.
The world is corrupt man yes but only in the sense that that fuckin tiny group of evil rich assholes that run everything are corrupt, underneath them you'll find there's like 7 billion people, a good chuck of which are pretty fucking cool, and alot of good shit going on.

i was joking at first, but really try Shrooms or LSD at least oonce. it's a life changing experience.

Ok, i'll stop with my grade A weed :( different individuals different effects. :)

Thanks man I really appreciate it!

Ya get a motorcycle. Then get licensed to legally ride it

I come to this realization more and more as days go by

Don't worry man. I've done mushrooms and acid like 3 times each and mdma/ecstasy loads of times.
LSD is my all time favourite though.

...

>mfw I came to this cringe thread looking for life advice.

Interesting advice! Sadly I'm currently lacking the money for a license let alone a bike. But I planned to get the licence someday anyway since my mom and stepdad both ride a bike.

i would be carefull with heavy psychedelics OP but if u listen to dis user, do it with friends that u can looose your shit and they be cool with u, if needed heh. haven't done personaly, not against, but i know that it needs a certain "safer" phase in your life

I just watched a documentary about a 14 year old girl who sailed around the world. Made me realize that I have been doing it wrong these last 40 years. Simply put, find a hobby or lifestyle you enjoy and build a way of life around it. Guess what this girl did when she completed her trip? Yep, she just kept sailing.

do what you can to get one
buy shity one fix it up
thats what i did 500 bucks!

its not as crazy as people would think. its fairly rare to have a "bad trip". just dont move a lot, just sit and watch dumb shit or listen to aesthetic music for the entire trip and your good
People say don't look in the mirror but i did and it was awesome so you could do that to

I'm just going to say this. You don't have the right to kill yourself. Because you aren't just you to yourself, you're you to the people around you. You're someones son/daughter, brother/sister, loved one, friend, acquaintance, co-worker. You see where I'm going with this, think about the people around you. Suicide doesn't get rid of the pain, it just spreads it around, to people who you didn't even consider would care. Regret, grief, all kind of fucked up shit.

I don't much care for living either, and I don't have that many people in my life. But as long as one person knows I exist, I won't do it. Because there's nothing more disgusting than the idea of passing on my pain to the people around me. I've never understood how people could do it, specially because of something as petty as love or being bullied. Makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.

Step one, Get off Sup Forums. Association drives your actions, theres always gonna be new memes dank or not. In the end there is no significance in them.

troof

Fuck other people man, they can get over it.
living a life in this world is a lot harder to do

>>I also recently discovered how fucked up and corrupt the world really is

Would you mind ruining it for the rest of us? Because I have a pretty good guess that you don't even know there is an iceburg let along the tip of it.

As for your dad... let them be... they are a grown ass man, they are allowed to make poor choices. Unless they want to change/quit there is nothing you can do about it, so if anything embrace him and his shit choices while you still can. As to being distant, my experience is that it takes two to tango,... but unless I know more about your interactions and how you two fit together, there is not much in the way of advice that I can offer there. The best you can do is try... and that goes for all your problems.

The thing with suicide is that is boring and makes you look like a pussy , I would do something really crazy that would get me killed. And I'm not saying you should do it btw

I thought about going to therapy but I'm scared that it will cause trouble later on as it could lead to difficulties getting an insurance or a job. Don't want to be marked as crazy.
I realised most people are really nice when I went traveling last year, but I'm still upset that no one seems to give a shit about us literally being slaves/peasants of the 1%.

literally go out into a big crowd with a hand gun and then just pull it out and then nonchalantly shoot yourself in the head.
that's how i plan to do it if i ever decide too

None of those drugs are addictive and psychedelics can help with depression better than most prescription antidepressants

Early twenties suck ass, it's why they let you legally drink then. It'll get better

>find a hobby or lifestyle you enjoy

That is exactly my problem. I don't really have any hobbies and whenever I start something new, I lose interest in it after a few months at best. It's so depressing when you don't know anything you're good at or even anything you would like to do.

...

What you mentioned is probably the only reason I'm still alive. I don't give a shit about dying personally, but I can't stand the thought of my parents grieving and crying, probably thinking what they did wrong even though they did everything right.
Makes me sad just thinking about it.

for one stop smoking you fucking piece of shit, second find something you like doing, make it your goal and fucking get there whatever it fucking takes. good luck

a couple of people have mentioned smoking less weed, and I sort of agree with them. Try this, cause redirecting habits works better than eliminating them:

Try finding a subject that interests you. The only stipulation I have is that it be a school subject. I prefer STEM subjects myself, but if psych is what gives you a brain boner, do it.

Only smoke at the start of studying that subject. The subject will become even more interesting to you than it initially was.

The cool part about this is that there's plenty of classes and books for free online, so you don't really have to spend shit for money on this other than the you know standard power bill shit.

Just only smoke when you're studying.

Doing that made me way less depressed.

That's it.
I don't even know where the fuck to begin... Why do people like you find dead people something to joke about? You think because you get to sit in your warm homes on a computer that you can just joke about horrible things like this? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guys? This is very fucked up, yet crazy assfucks like you are posting dead things like it's nothing. Sick fucks, doing this shit does fucking nothing. So you want to come on an imageboard to be an asshole about things like this? Let me tell you guys, you are all fucking weak. You would never be useful to the world with such behavior you present. Honestly why do people like you guys even exist? I bet you don't even know about half of what people have gone through from then till now when they have someone they've known die. You are all such disgusting bullies. Isn't it bad enough that people go through hardships of their loved ones? Seriously what do you guys really find funny about this? Stupid fuckers I'm so angry right now that I wish I can fucking punch my computer screen so that my fist can get a good hit on that asshole face of yours. Sick fucks. Seriously, just fucking grow up and actually act properly about death. Stupid fuck, keep eating those cheetoes that you stain on your shirts every day.

dude calm down
Life is meaningless
Everything is a joke

...

Nice pasta

get rekt

Im being a pussy cause my gf broke up with me, any advice on getting over it?

Kek

Start doing cocaine it all gets better from there.

22 year old cokehead living the life

You know what? I probably don't know shit. I mean I'm 21 years old, what kind of wisdom can you expect from my limited life experience? But I'll let you in on what makes me think this world is garbage anyways.
It's just the fact that almost everything on this planet is owned by such a small group of people, who are probably the among the most evil ones to walk this earth. The fact that 90% of the people are still believing in this system, which is slowly destroying our planet, only profiting the rich and which has to collapse into some sort of crisis every few years to be kept alive.
I could go on for a while, but I'd rather listen to your opinion on what the 'iceberg' really is about.

So people react differently to death and generally depressing things so you hate them? You also assume they're unemphatic sociopaths.

Tell me, did you ever stop to consider the possibility that this is their way of coping? Maybe the bleak realities of the world and existence, the overwhelming breadth and size of creation is to them so soul crushing they can not deal with it any other way than to mock it?

Bite your tongue simpleton, you are worse than those you scorn.

Until it fucks your dopamine receptors and you can't feel anything. If you're going to do drugs to feel happy, do psychedelics.

jsyk my post wasn't about death; copypasta man.

My post said "change your smoking habits to only smoke when studying something academic that's interesting"

I hate these threads. You imbeciles are crying over literally nothing, you've never experienced any real hardships; you're just overprivileged idiots with little to no understanding of how the real world works, and you want everything and everyone to be perfect.... Well, get this, the world isn't perfect, nobody is perfect; we're all going to die, we all feel pain; here's the secret, though: nobody cares. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, cares about what happens to you or yours. Men don't bitch about their problems, only boys do. Grow the fuck up, OP.

I basically stated just that in my first post you funking idiot. I bet you're one of those tough guys who are too brave to cry and show emotions. We should all bow down to your manliness!

funny, cause somebody somewhere usually cares about anybody you could possibly pick to talk to.

bro, go to
They can hook you up and make reality not feel like shit. Good luck Sup Forumsro.

...

Life is meaningless, death is natural. Accept if for what it is and get the rake out your ass

First off, I didn't bother to read your post (why would I?); secondly, no, I don't pretend to be anything other than what I am. Take that however you wish.

Perhaps so, if only in some small way; truly, people only care about themselves.

people tend to care about other people. Empathy is one of the best ways to read a situation, and it's a brilliant way to get people to understand what you're trying to tell them. You should try thinking about people this way, sometime; it more fully explains their actions than any jaded, "me for me and nobody else" attitude I've ever seen, and I'm pretty sure it's the only reason people ever come to me for advice.

I see people for how they are in a moment, but those who cannot so fully read a person only see people for the cardboard box they pull from their own assumption of what these people are thinking and animate with projected emotions.

See a psychiatrist. It's like visiting a prostitute except you're the only one getting fucked.

tipping intensifies.

Okay listen here, if you don't like something change it. You don't have to put up with it.
The fact that you're 21 doesn't matter, some 40 year olds don't have their life sorted so don't worry about it.
Most people don't know what they are doing with their life, besides you are too young to know all the options and possibilities so just enjoy life and drift until you stumble across what you want to do (or search for it, it will save time. Find things that you want to do, things that excite you.)
You don't have to do the same fucking job for 5 years, don't be one of those people, unless of course you find out what you really want to do and you enjoy it then go for it!
It's fine to lose interest in people, we grow apart because we change and they change, the great thing though is that we meet new people.
It's fine to wank and get high.
Sometimes we lose people, there's nothing you can do about it; enjoy the time you have left.
The world has always been this way, you just have come to see for what it is.
We can change everything in our lives because it's our choice, skulking and bitching about how bad our life is without trying to do anything about it is not going to help in any way, it will make everything worse.
So, if you are still reading by this point take my advice and do what you want with it, it's your choice,

if you dont start making changes on a daily basis youl wake up in 10 years and realize your still shit.

wank less. smoke less. do more things. get a new hobby. get a new job. go to school. do something other than just think about doing something.

Interesting take, if naïve and foolish; you feed these idiots to give your existence meaning, to silence the lingering thoughts of inadequacy that scream in your mind.... Can you see it, can you see yourself? No, I bet you're as delusional as OP.

Get a good boyfriend

Pretty much all true for me as well except for my mother has the health issues. If only we never had to wake up and could dream forever. This world is cold

Depression maybe?
Depression doesnt have to come from any real problems. Idk Man.

It's definitely not to give my existence meaning. I know I mean something to several people.

I don't really have lingering thoughts of inadequacy, either, but thanks for playing the "can I get user to think he might be depressed" game.

I actually do read people's thoughts quite well, though; that one's a fact. It's one of the few actual skills I have.

I think it is complex, assets namely currency is a good place to start. I would not allow the powers that be confuse you into thinking that being rich is evil... however if you look at practices like fractional reserve lending or even the debt to the fed (these things that the powers that be are in full control of), those things most definitely are pretty shitty to say the least.

As for your captain planet bullshit,.. the planet will do just fine no matter what the fuck we do... if anything a little bit of adversity would do good for us and we can just innovate around it... if anything we should leave a pretty corpse of a planet in exchange for adapting our civilization so that it can survive off of earth alone, and not keeping all of our eggs in one solar system

Seeing you were smart enough to appreciate that you don't know shit, (and I don't care to go into much detail)... please take my advice here: You have been told your whole life what to do, what to think, what you need, and who you are and how you should change into something you are not. You need to understand that it is all bullshit, from the style of shoes you wear to how you comb your hair... and I think on a certain level you do. Be the change you want in the world... sleeping in all day and watching tv (ps, kill your tv if you haven't already) is not what you want to do,... that is the only thing left that they allow you to do. The biggest bit of advice I can give you is NOTHING is too hard to accomplish --- no matter what you want to do with your life or no matter what you want to do for a living... assholes in every trade pretend like it is so fucking hard to learn something new, and that the likes of you are too dumb or daft to do anything right... but that is just another shitty level of control. If you think about the very best of humanity, be it a person in a profession or someone that accomplished something amazing --- it's in you too and you can do it, they just don't want you too

You're a pseudo-intellectual at best, with grandiose delusions of your mental acuity; you have few, if any, "skills". You're nothing.

I did say I had few actual skills, didn't I?

Why are you repeating what I said as if it has more merit when you say it?

I don't really know where you're going with this; it's not really any sort of reach to claim that anybody has a grandiose image of their capabilities, so you're grabbing low-hanging fruit hoping it will topple the tree here.

Your points fall so drastically short of moving that they shouldn't have been made in the first place.

Thank you guys I really appreciate what you said. And I'm surprised how many nice guys there were on Sup Forums tonight tbh.
I will try to follow your advices as much as I can.
I'm going to bed now, I hope you're all having a pleasant day/night and see you around!

part 2: Taxes are a scam, none of your money goes to help anyone but war cronies and to the interest on the dollar (I bet you know, but every dollar that is printed, a dollar and change is owed back to the ones that print the money (and those people are not your government, but a private business) - the vast majority of the national debt goes towards this perpetual scam - I say perpetual, because there is more debt owed to the fed then money in existence, and therefore more money needs to be printed and the process continues indefinitely), and it is part of the control to keep you a servant --- not a servant to 'big business' (they are not running the show, not by a long shot), a servant in your own head... they want to keep you working to afford shit you don't need, rather than questioning 'why' you need any of this shit or other pretty fundamental questions.

You are of college age -- don't go to college. There is nothing you can't learn from the internet or local skilled people. College is just a form of unshakable debt, where they stress you out and make the appearance that you are learning stuff, in exchange for up to hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. A vast majority of people that get out of college don't even gets jobs in the field they studied in, and usually are too overburdened with payments to actually got good employment rather than just 'needing something now to keep all the bills paid'.

As for high/middle/elementary school --- it was all just 1) free daycare for your parents 2) an illusion that your federal/state taxes did anything, when in fact local taxes (like estate taxes) pay for all that shit 3) and last but most important, they taught you to do as you were told and not to 'THINK' when you were given an instruction. Just like a factory line, there are: bells, schedules, QA, reports, a boss and so on. School is not about teaching how to think, it is teaching you how to not think, and how to do exactly as you are told and when.

Go into the military. It's okay money, they give you a place to live. You're hanging out with the same guys for extended periods of time, so you make friends easily. They help you figure out what career and life path you want. Plus the health insurance is excellent and bitches love a man in uniform.

Maybe do the airforce. Their basic training is the easiest, job is the easiest.

Don't give up. Please.

OP I want you to know that I don't care and didn't read your topic.

Fuck off.

wtf
relevance fuktard

I still say that you need to smoke weed when you start studying something and only then. That'll help get your addiction under control and help get you more interested in other things.