Post your embarrassing stories, Sup Forums

Post your embarrassing stories, Sup Forums.
I'll start:

>be me
>16 at the time
>currently laying in bed
>just smoked weed
>feelsgood.jpg
>get horny so I turn on my phone and start masturbating
>try to be quiet because my sister is staying over with her baby in the next room
>she's asleep for all I know
>don't think about it and continue masturbating
>have good climax
>feelsgood2.jpg
>cum all over my stomach
>"fuck I forgot to bring a tissue because im high"
>don't feel like getting up
>look for nearest cloth-like object
>see that I have 2 blankets
>grab the least favorable blanket and clean myself up
>its now covered in cum
>well I can't use this anymore
>throw it to the end of my bed
>start watching random videos on my phone
>about 15 minutes later I hear a door open from across the hall
>ohfuckshesmellsmydank
>cower under the blanket
>but the blanket cant ever save you
>hear my door open
>"user, are you awake"
>I can hear it's my sister
>I lean up, acting groggy and say: "yea"
>"Do you an extra blanket I can borrow?"
>thank god she doesn't smell my weed
>So excited that she didn't notice that I barely realized what she asked
>take about 5 seconds to process what she had asked
>"yea probably i think maybe"
>fucking smooth
>look around my room in a panic
>see an extra blanket on my bed
>"here you go" I say as I hand her the tainted blanket
>she thanks me and leaves
>I lay back down and calm down because it was over now
>then I panic as I realize I had given my sister a cum filled blanket
>she never asked me about it
>mfw either my sister or my nephew had to sleep in cum that night

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=iMyf_LinnHM
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

bump

My car's mom tried to finger me in the back of my friend

>be me
>be 21
>be fresh in the military so weekend is always escalading
>drinking with best friend
>drinking hard, hitting one bar after another
>some friends show up with grill i dont know
>shes a 4/10 not fat just ugly
>my drinking habitats make her a 6/10
>my being in the base the whole week makes her a 7.5/10
>start flirting with her
>blahblahblah shes bisexual blahblahblah
>she wants to leave, to say goodbye she wants to hug me
>while she hugs me i "accindently" hit her tit
>she smiles and says: user i know you did touch my tit on purpose
>idontknowwhatyouretalkingaboutgirl
>im gonna go to this barblahblah wanna come with me??
>dat tit felt good
>sure
>we go to the other bar
>i get even more drunk
>we dance together
>making out on the dancefloor and shit
>lets go to my place babe
>okay user
>we take a taxi
>im so drunk i throw coins at the taxi driver and yell at him to drive faster
>lulz were had
>right before my house she says: user im on my period
>fuckit im a badass soldier mothafocka im gonna see enough blood in my career
>no problem babe
>we go inside start making out like crazy
>plz user im so shy dont turn the light on
>k whatever
we go naked and start fucking
>i finger her

cont.
>i assfuck her
>im so drunk its difficult to come
>user youre hurting me dont be so rough
>fuckbitch shut up im trying to come here
>i behave like a fucking gorilla
>i dont finish she complains
>fuckthis.RAW
>user i wanna go home
>turns out she lives close to me
im not tired so letsgo
>im walking her home
>im so drunk i throw beerbottles around (took a sixpack from home with me)
>she totally embarrassed and starts walking on the other side of the street
>stay here babe so i can protect you better
>i switch the side of the road to her side
>the she switches her side again
>this lasts for about 1 mile
>i get angry and start throwing beerbottles at her
>shes finally home i hug her say goodbye

cont.

>i get home
>fall asleep
>next morning
>i look at my bed
>fucking blood EVERYWHERE
>i change the sheets
>go to the bathroom
>look in the mirror
>blood around my mouth
>FUCK MY LIFE
>i never ever showered that long and used that much shampoo like this day

couple of weeks later
>sit in cafe with buddy
>friends show up
>blahblahblah conversations blahblahblah
>they start talking about the grill i fucked
>they dont know it
>theyre saying shes full lesbian now not bisexual anmyore because men are pigs and disgusting and shit
>i start laughing so hard the whole cafe is looking at me

mfw i turned her lesbian

Bump and kek

You sound like a piece of shit. Either don't get that drunk, or start caring about what you do, to stop being a piece of shit when you drink

fucking 20,000 keks

Nah, she's most likely a feminist cunt that's trying to make you feel like shit for not abiding by her crazy demands.

...

You should probably not drink, and think about working on bettering your personality.

i take that as a compliment thx guys

Fucking kek

>be me
>Visit grandma in the rural areas
>Father drops us of just cause he doesn't like her
>eat some mexican food
>stay a few days
>Go back on bus
>Middle of the road
>stomach starts hurting
>feelsbadman.jpg
>Tell mum
>"Suck it in, we're close"
>no can do
>Shit myself in public bus
>we get out, find the closest place I can shit
>McDonald's
>Dirty, public restrooms
>fuck it, I have to
>Continue shitting
>Pants are fucked
>throw underwear in the trash cause it's too dirty
>Go out to the mall to get some underwear and a decent pant

>Be me
>Having the worst cold of my life
>Be sittning in class browsing Sup Forums on my phone
>Come across this thread
>Reads OP's post
>Blows air out of my nose
>Sticky greenish liquid pours out of my nose
>I panic and screams
>Everybody looks at me disgusted
>Nosecum everywhere

did you have a stroke writing that??

Lmao dude that fucker's fucked

kek

he's in the military, he's literally so stupid that he will commit murder for the US congress for a small amount of money. if he can eat without wearing a helmet, and without injuring himself, that's about all he can accomplish on normal human levels.

...

...

LoL

top zozzle

Never Stick Your Dick in crazy

This ginger realized hes fucking gay. That chick has potential

>eat mexican food
>faggot friends want to hang out
>eat more food at restaurant
>fag friends want to go to mall
>almost shit pants go into mall
>finally get to bathroom
>totally nuke the shit out of that toilet
>everyone in the bathroom making "wow" "holy shit" etc. noises.
>finally done
>exit bathroom in the food court
>like 20 people just stare at me

bump

>be me in class high as fuck on k2
>sitting on my phone
>the teacher knew I was high but didn't care
>friend points at ugly girls ass
>"bet you won't grab it"
>niggawot.exe
>grab girls ass and she smiles
>I'm pretty high and horny now and reach over and grab the croch of her pants
>end up playing with her pussy in class while high
>I glance over at my friend and he is dieing laughing
>high wears off later and I fully realized what I did
>smoke more k2

Did you end up fucking?

same fag
>be me, 8 or 9 at school
>need to shit
>run to bathroom
>shit my pants once I enter stall
>clean up best I can
>leave undies in disgrace
>smell like shit rest of day

>be me 16 at the time
>smoked a fat blunt and went into McDonald's bathroom
>take a piss in urinal an I can feel some shit coming
>stoned as fuck I think it would be funny to shit in urinal
>pull down pants and press ass against urinal
>mid shit a guy opens the door and catches me in the act
>I glance up and we lock eye to eye
>I pull up my pants without wiping and run out

>Be 9
>At sleepover
>Everything is good for user on the night, gameboy is fun
>Sleep
>We wake up early
>Friend gets up and tells me to strip
>Punches and bullies me until I do
>Nope.jpg
>Feel my nipples against my own will
>Cries
>Faggot's parents come in
>Faggot now in military

No I had a girlfriend at the time

Does he still call you on weekends?

>I am become Cheese Pizza

Smoking weed at 16. Fucking pathetic

US army fags are some of the dumbest people on earth. and the biggest assholes. I have never met an army person I liked/wasn't retarded. Doubt anyone here has.

A week later I gave them a few broken bones. Hard-ass kids, huh? Haha.

...

samefag, again
>sophmore year, in class
>girl in front of my desk wear thong
> I glance over and notice
>faggots behind me start laughing; notice me looking
>they know the chick, and text her
>she looks over at me with a scowl.
ugh I have a shit ton more stories too. My life has been nothing but embarrassments.

So, no.

Not that I think he's a saint but who the fuck judges people on Sup Forums? What the hell happened to this place?

Their boners broke in your butt?

>be 17
>kiss less virgin trying to wheel a girl
>it's not going terribly well but I persevere.
>invite her to play civ 5 at the time
>get in Skype call
>have awkward conversation
>decide "shit I need a third party to help break the ice"
>throw my buddy into the call without explaining to him what's going on
>Skype starts shifting itself for no reason and her call dropped or something.
>now I'm in a call with just my buddy, so before I try to re-add girl to the call, I briefly explain to him what the situation is
>I say something like "dude she's gonna play civ with me and I need someone to help wingman me so I can finally get with her" or some autistic shit like that.
>out of nowhere I hear girl say "...what??"
>o shit
>she had rejoined the call just as I was telling all that to my buddy
>try and play it cool "oh what? Oh uh yeah haha hi I didn't know you were still there"

Needless to say I still am a fucking beta autist

keking out kek

It's not bait he's right. Smoking weed in house with a baby. If I was that sister I would have stabbed the cunt.

I was a stealth smoker, was never caught and my room never smelled. Still think this is b8 tho.

You are retarded if you think you can smoke in house without your room smelling. The only reason you think it didn't smell is that your mouth and nose were used to the stronger smell of actually smoking

lel

kek'd AF

I would know if it smelled because in the morning I could go from out of my room for like 5 minutes then come back in to see if it smelled or not.
Still think this is b8, tho.

MOAR

Whatever moron. Ask a non smoker to smell your breath after a day of no smoking. They will say it smells of stale cigs. Wither way you should be fucking ashamed of yourself

BETA af

>be me
>be 16 years old
>at gfs house
>gf wants to do the sex
>fuck.jpeg
>we start making out
>instaboner
>gf starts the succ
>I nearly cum so I tell her to lay on her back
>EatThePuss.peng
>we start fucking
>mid fuck she stops and covers her face
>I turn around
>her mum and little sister have walked in

Cont?

youtube.com/watch?v=iMyf_LinnHM

MOAR

...

trips demands it. ok
>be me, 6th grade
>gym class
>doing exercises
>partnered up to do sit ups
>friend is holding my feet
>lay a nasty fart while doing them
>everyone stops and looks at me, laughing
>I still had to continue doing the sit ups while my friend held my feet, smelling my gas

czeched

Continue

same thing happened to me

Cont.

>OFuck.jpeg
>mum starts screaming like a pterodactyl
>little sister is crying at this point
>I try to pull out
>hit my head on the ceeling
>ouch.nutmeg
>is dizzy
>passes out with my full erection out for every one to see
>wake up a few minutes later
>gf isn't aloud to see me anymore

Samefag

Pics or it didn't happen

How could you not hear them coming?

>be me
>be 8
>hot as fuck outside
>light some firecrackers with my friends beside friend's house
>one of firecrackers I lit lands in the woods and the grass catches on fire
>friend's mom calls the fire department
>to stop the fire from spreading, we took turns peeing on the fire
>fire goes out
And I was banned from going to his house

Can I get dem digits?

I was in that pussy yo
WW3 could of started and I would of been like "hold up I'm gunna cum"

sourse

>be exausted, dehydrated, and possibly drunk
>fucking gf bent over
>20 minutes of ramming trying to cum
>i finally feel it thank god
>she got pissed if i don't cum and tries to start fights lol
>pull out
>dick is kinda limp wtf
>i came tho
>walk out of room to clean up in bathroom
>pull off condom
>where the fuck is it
>FUCKEVERYTHING.jpg
>babe? can you check for the condom?
>she freaks out
>show her guides
>she is mad as fuck
>go to hospital
>bitch doesn't even have health insurance, and she wont get abortion due to religious shit
>they get it out
>apparently jesus says no morning after pills
>3 weeks later she has her period
>im fucking excited beyond belief
>shes crying
>she told her mom

i had trouble seeing her mom after that.

That shit is fucking terrifying, we where in no place to have a child and i want to be married first. She wasn't even close to capable of being a mother, extremely dysfunctional.

>end semester party
>7/10 girl ask me if she can give me a hug
>yes
>cannot proceed
>make disgusted facial expression while hugging
>leave room lightning speed after hugging was done

had similar experience with a 8.5/10 in high school too except she was groping my butts

Sure
U.K. Though

07710127055

hahaha

some cunt named sybil picked up.

Oh man i lost. Thank you user

>8th grade gym class
>basketball
>I'm goofing around with my friends
>throw a basketball behind me really hard
>hit a kid in the face by accident
>turn to him and saw him holding his face in pain
>first thought was to say "oh shit. Do you want money?"
>my stupid ass thought financial compensation is what he wanted
>he's brown
>doesn't say anything but looks at me like I'm retarded
>he hates me from then on
Kinda reminiscent of the "are you fucking sorry" story

can your ass go back to normal after fucking it up that bad?

Nah it's her number for sure

07710127055

>8th grade me
>JUmp rope competition in gym class
>Winner get a medal so fuck yeah
>Literally jump rope for 15 minutes straight because other kid wants medal
>Finally win and they put me on this box to celebrate
>Step off box and faceplant in front of 100 fellow classmates bc tired legs

Wow

tits or gtfo

>Not that I think he's a saint
>who the fuck judges people on Sup Forums

>judges
>judges for judging

bump

samefagging
>be me
>in 6th grade
>have all the same classes (except gym) with on teacher (I was a SpEd for awhile; not the retarded classes, but the ones for kids that needed a smaller classrooms).
>awards ceremony in gym
>everyone else called up by different teachers for their awards.
>I'm called up 3 times by the same teacher
>Less and less clapping each time. The silence killed me a little in side, and made me stop caring about grades.

>be me
>4th grade or thereabouts
>wore my pants backwards to school for a whole day without noticing

>be me really drunk
>having sex and girl starts giving me shit about me not nutting
>I do tho, just a weak ass nut
>Doesn't believe me, gives me the succ to finish it off
>Feel like I'm coming again, nope, piss
>Piss in her mouth

Didn't really embarass me, it's more of a funny story

>implying judging
>2016
>being this new

...

oh shit

suprised there was no rape

Same

>need smaller classroom

Explainthis plx

keks were had,.

user... You took an ugly bitch and turned her lesbian. Literally the easiest kind of bitch to please, and turned her lesbian.

What's your name? You are literally lower than Beta. Since you discovered this new status, it should be named after you.

>Be me
>16
>With gf at her house
>Get horny as balls
>decide to fuck
>Hot make out/stripping
>about to put it in
>Hear car door close in driveway
>Fuckitsdad.jpg
>Her dad is a huge German dude who could crush a rhino
>pick up clothes and dash to the bathroom
>hear her dad walk into her room and ask what's going on
>realize i left my socks and underwear in her room

cont?

cont

like, either because they are shy, have disruptive behavior, or just can't be in large groups (anti-social kids).

10/10 would kek again

cont. sorry for the wait

>peek out of the door like a ninja to see what's going on
>he and her are talking about some shit "did you do your home work or some shit"
>conversation ends
>he turns around and looks down the hall
>pull my head back in faster than light
>fuckiswearhesawme
>hear him coming closer
>dart behind door
>door creaks open
>Thisistheend.png
>he comes in and starts pissing
>when he's done he sees my half naked ass there behind the door
>DED
>jk he takes it pretty well and tells me to get the fuck out of his house before he calls the cops
>"You're a fucking sicko user"
>drive home in shame
>Still never got my socks and underwear back