Your door opens slowly and this girls steps inside with eyes full of lust and says:"Hey user...

Your door opens slowly and this girls steps inside with eyes full of lust and says:"Hey user, give me your best pick up line and I might let you fuck me." What do you say?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/-ytqQIE14fQ
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

y...you too.

Show me your shithole bitch

/thread

I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK!

mine would be, I liek turtles

happened in high school, said that to a grill, I am an autist

Wanna go halfsies on a basterd?

how about NO!

Blacks and jews are bad news

DO you work at sub way cuz you made me a foot long

Mashed potatoes. Where's the gravy baby?

>did it hurt?
when you fell from Heaven?
guess that explains why you so not

Ay girl, I put the STD in STUD... Now all's I need is U.

If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?

i'll be your santa if be my hohoho and let me cum down your chimney

Then i give her a gift ;)

>makes autistic narwhal noises

this, i kek'd hard, thank you user.

Ha!

Are you from canada?? Cause I'd fuck you

get the fuck out

>There are 21 letters in the alphabet right?
OH Right, I forgot U R A C T
>youre a fag, right?
>yeah, kinda..

get the fuck out and come back when you have an ass

"Heaven's looking for you, because a goddess just entered my life."

I'd unzip my fanny pack, take my phablet out and show her this picture.

"I put on my robe and wizard hat"

goddamn it, that shit was good.

I wouldn't risk it, I'd just ass rape her.

"Nope"
Move past her, find my wife and tell her I didn't fall for her tricks

lolee lolee

I don't even have bad pick up lines, much less good ones.

"Make me a good sandwich and I'll let you drink my kids."

You fucking moralfag cuck

I tell her.. "Bitch, next time don't open the door so fucking slowly. You think this some horror movie? Just open that shit!"

I treat any trespassor like a good american.

...

Check this out, and by this I mean me

Get out or I'll beat you to death with a flyver containing the greatest jewish athletes of all time.

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

ching chong come ride my ding dong

hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven, cuz you're the only ten I see.
enough to break the ice

i see you've responded to my backpages request, heres the money i owe you before we get too deep into this role play

How the fuck did you get in my house?!

Willl you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

Want to watch porn on my HD mirror?

you look almost as good as the artistic piece behind you

Want to sex with me....?

imma pee in ur ass

Fucking this, she's already naked just grab her and fuck her.

Eat me im organic

your anus will be mine

Omg girl! Where did you get your boots? They are too die for!

anal

Ay bb u want sum fuk?

"fitting room"
nuff said

Mom, where the fuck is my cheese grill?!?

>tip my fedora
>turn 360°
>walk away

Your eyes are just like the stars in the nightsky. Not because they sparkle, but because they stand so far apart.

Did you kill the queen? Cause my wick smacked the lick tumble. Suck it long faggot! Hehe, koopa

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

finally, the cool kids are here

Fuck man it's been like 5 years since I heard a bloodninja reference.

By thors banjo

Ey, A 18: I will fuck you as Krilin does

Go make me sammich bitch

Fuck off skeletor

Ay girl... did you know you can draw a turkey using just yo hand?

...

>I freeze as I struggle to get words past my lips
>words hang in my mouth but refuse to come out
>my brain freezes and goes blank
>I realize i have my hands just awkwardly open as if something would come to my mind
>I casually slide my hands into my pockets
>a blank wanting stare is on her face as she sees my struggle for words
>I feel something slimy and cool in my pockets
>spaghetti.bat
>red pasta stains start forming on the outside of my pockets
>my face turns bright red and i say "did it hurt?" over and over again
>the spaghetti starts flowing past my hands and out of my pockets
>I cant stop it from flowing out
>I bend over and start scooping it up and shoving it back in my pockets
>she starts to walk out of the room
>spaghetti all over the floor
>I keep saying "did it hurt?"
>she slips on the pasta
>keep saying "did it hurt?"
>she knocks her head on the counter as she strugles on the red pasta mess
>pasta continues to torrent out of my pockets flowing at the speed of light
>the delicious Italian meal fills the room and i run out and shut the door
>muffled screaming in the room
>I yell from outside the door "What do you and spaghetti have in common?"
>screaming and choking noises continue
>I just stand there blankly
>the screaming stops
>she drowns in the spaghetti


They both wiggle when you eat them.

Topkek

>C

think you mean Q buddy

You a Vagina or a Vagino?

I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK

Well my wifes much hotter than that twig

As her wether she is a single mom. When she denies I ask her if she wants to become one.

Proof it, I bet she's as ugly and hairy as an indian asshole, fucking Chewbaka Cavemonster.

Turn 360 and walk away.

Exactafuckinmoonddo

I'd probably shoot her for trespassing.

I eat pussy like oysters, with lots of tongue action
youtu.be/-ytqQIE14fQ

I bet if you sit on my face I could eat my way to your heart

With a load of warm, slimy cockjuice - right?

Sharpie in pooper or GTFO!

How is autistic school doing