You wake up in your room like you do every morning. You get dressed and eat breakfast...

You wake up in your room like you do every morning. You get dressed and eat breakfast, just as you turn on your TV you see an emergency warning baring in the TV. You watch it and it seems that a virus that escaped from government testing and infected 85% of your country's (Youre gonna live in the US for this) population, those infected have become zombies. You decide to grab your carry gun (a glock 17 with 3 mags with 15 bullets of 9mm each), your 12 gauge Remington 870 with 50 shells, and your bug out bag with supplies. You check the windows outside and see about 15 infected roaming around your street.

First person who rolls 8 or dubs decides what to do next.

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youtube.com/watch?v=tOOb3wPNMAg
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Masturbate

This nigger..

Scream like a little girl, and poop your pants.

You furiously master bath to Mexican sugar dancing porn. After you finish you notice the zombie population in your street has dropped to 10 zombies.

Dubs or 1 decides next

>You wake up in your room like you do every morning
>like you do every morning
why does this sound edgy

Rerolling for same

I said masturbate, not master bath.

Re-rolling for masturbate

Coat myself in peanut butter and honey, then do a couple laps outside my house.

cover myself in my own feces to confuse the zombies

After a 5 min break, you masturbate again

masturbate again because I'm a necrophiliac

Suicide.

So in summary ,in case of a zombie apocalypse , op masturbates furiously a few times then offs himself .
This is surprisingly accurate , somebody screencap this shit

You decide to masturbate again and cum buckets to zombie porn. There are now 30 zombies on your street. They seem agitated.
Im on mobile so auto correct to master bath
First dubs or 0 decides next

...

I masturbate again to feminine dick

Kidnapping a femenine zombie and raping her

Shoot myself in the head

That's all folks

I masturbate to my CP

Nicely done. Hope you got protection, otherwise your cock might rot off.

select all images with pies

Fill a tin can with rocks and seal it off, throw it out your front door to distract the zombies as you sneak out the back.

You then decide to kidnap a female zombie and chain it in your basement. You then start to rape it and after you finish fucking it you get herpes. You shoot it in the head and skull fuck it. You go upstairs and there's a zombie hitting your window and there's 45 of them on your street.

masturbate until my hands bleed

Oh yeah 4 or dubs decides next (I'm only listening to the first person to get the right roll)

Go back to the basement and masturbate one last time.

welp

rerolling
Fill a tin can with rocks and seal it off, throw it out your front door to distract the zombies as you sneak out the back.

You go back into the basement and masturbate to the zombie one last time and you see a human zombie hybrid fetus crawl out of the zombies pussy. You kick it into a wall. There are now 30 zombies on your street and it is now dusk, the zombie banging your window went away.

Dubs or 7 decide next

re-re-rolling ffs
Fill a tin can with rocks and seal it off, throw it out your front door to distract the zombies as you sneak out the back.

masturbate again

Fag

the opposite of this

You throw a tin can out your front door to distract the zombies and run out through your basement. Before you leave you remember to grab your bug out bag, guns, and knife. Once you get out you run into the woods near your house.

Dubs or 5 decide next

...

take refuge in a cave and masturbate until dawn

call dick Cheney

roll

Masturbate

Kill self with gun

Cut your dick off to get over your masturbation addiction.

Stick gun in ass and fire

this
it only holds you back

make a twig figure and masturbate to it

Cut balls off so dick aint lonely

404 Penis Not Found

Stuff severed dick up your ass for safe keeping.

Climb a tree and find out how many zombies lie between me and temporary safety.

You then cut off your penis to try to overcome your addiction. You then find a zombie in the woods and cut off its penis and superglue it onto where yours once was. You then masturbate again with your zombie penis.

Dubs or 3 decides

Stick gun into mouth, pull trigger.

I'm rerolling for this

Climb a tree and find out how many zombies lie between me and temporary safety.

Get curious as to what a zombie dick tastes like.

Stick penis in mouth, pull trigger

eat your own legs

ok OP. i like to dress up as yakko (my 3rd fav warner)
not everybody thinks that its cool, but i finally met a girl who thinks im a 10/10 would bang like bam in my yakko suit.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?


this was the song:

youtube.com/watch?v=tOOb3wPNMAg

Kill self with gun in mouth, zombie penis in ass.

Masturbate

Capture a squirrel

Accidently drop all of your weapons on the ground like the fucking mistake you are.

the grief of losing your penis drives you insane and you spend the next few days hunting zombies and chopping their dicks off , covering each bit of your body with zombie dongs , this also makes you invisible to zombies

Masturbate with your new penis.

Mastrubate next to zombies.

Win

You masturbate again. You then pick up your old severed penis and put it in your ass for safe keeping. It is now night time and no zombie are around you.

Dubs or 2 decide next

Take your gun and become an hero.

Kill self

Masturbate

Rerolling

Masturbate yet again

Mastrubate with gun in ass, become an hero.

Find first moderately attractive female zombie. Tackle, tie up and use for dead sex slave. Obviously I would have to continue to find new ones though. They would rot away

Think about (now deceased) neighbors.

u use your old dick as ammuniton for the crafted bow you just made out of wood and cum to go hunt some fag zombiey

WINRAR

I guess it's time for the evening fap, then.

Masturbate furiously.

Start killing zombies while masturbating

Well, that's all folks

Kill self

/thread

Go back into house

the zombie penis brings you back to life , kind of

This fucking thread

You decide to become a hero by taking one of the few survivors of your town hostage and masturbate on the hostage with your glock in your ass. You now have a traumatized hostage that wants to kill herself due to your herpes infected zombie penis and your gun fetish.

0 or dubs decides next

Glock 17 have 17 round mags. G19 have 15 rounders. A g19 mag won't work in a g17 dumbass

...

Go back into the house

top mutha fuckin kek

But that glued zombie dick turned you into a zombie so you wont die.

Masturbate

(you)

Turn into a robot and win the game of Life.

hmmm....
Masturbate

WINRAR

we cant let a skeleton decide how we fight off zombies, clearly going back into the house is a terrible idea. we should just masturbate instead. also OP, become an hero means kill yourself

Masterbate

You take you and your hostage back into your house. There are no zombies nearby and your hostage still wants to kill herself.

9 or dubs decides next
I used 15 because it's an easy number to use, but I can see now that I didn't need to do that. Plus you don't need to load every round in the mags, the poor bastard only has 45 bullets for it.

Get out of the house!

OP this must happen