Been too long since we had tard thread, Sup Forumsros, so let's get one going, you glorious faggots

Been too long since we had tard thread, Sup Forumsros, so let's get one going, you glorious faggots.

Mine takes place throughout middle school. The kid's name was Devin, mildly autistic and very active. However, fucker was prone to fits of violent rage. We had love-hate relationship over time, here goes.
>Be me, 6th grade
>Friends gather outside at recess for start of middle school, we're excited as fuck
>Couple are talking about new kid we haven't seen who is tardy
>Itsgonnabeagoodday.tatersalad
>Meet Devin for the first time
Couldn't tell the kid had autism from looking at him. Kid was big and tall as fuck, at least a foot over everyone in our class and in decent shape.
>First month of knowing Devin is pretty cool, says he switched schools cause the administration, "Bullied him.", also says he once lived beneath basement of gym with family
Suspicion arises
>Science class, October
>Build solar panel cars and race them in one-group-v-one-group tournament
>Afterwards, one kid, Matt, and Devin argue for some reason
>Miss most of what happened but Devin knocks Matt's car out of his hands and stomps it, Matt retaliates by punching him in the chest
Badmove.png
>I look around as Devin throttles Matt and drags him from sidewalk to main door into grass
>Lifts him up in the air and chokeslams him back down like the fucking Undertaker, keeping his grip on his neck as he slams him down and presses down with his full wait, strangling Matt
>So impressed it almost doesn't register
>Teachers corral us inside as they break it up
Both of them got suspened a week or two, which I think Matt didn't deserve since Devin whipped his ass.
I've got several more stories of being on the side of and against this tard.

bump

Keep em coming op

not op
>me
>2nd grade
>need to pee, go to boys room
>walk into main part of bathroom where urinals are
>tard is pissing at a urinal with his pants and underwear pulled all the way down to his feet
>just tard ass hanging out without a care in the world
>feel awkward as fuck, go into stall to peepee
>tell friends later that i saw tard ass

pretty uneventful but the image will forever be seared into my mind

Alright, I'm a whore for stories, part 2.
Devin and I were on pretty okay terms, though I disliked how he was friend with one kid, Scott. Scott was and still is the kid everyone hated throughout school. He was pretentious, snobby, short-tempered, and all around unlikable. It was a joy whenever bad happened to him. Here's one of Devin's more (and least) epic moments:
>Be same month, just after gym class in locker room
>Played basketball, Scott was on my team and no one wanted to pass it to him and he tried to snitch me out
>We barrage Scott with insults, declares he has no friends
>Devin hears this and takes it to heart
>Progressively gets louder and closer to Scott, basically screaming how he's fine they're no longer friends and all the horrible things he'll do to him (beat him, break his bones, kill him, and stuttered as he almost said rape)
>Scott is literally in a corner shaking, crying and almost pissing himself, Forty Fucking Kekarots were had the whole time only by me, everyone else is scared as Scott
>Devin wraps up with, "Fuck you and die, you unlovable shit tampon," and walks out
Devin earned my respect that day, but he lost it the next year
Scott and Devin hated eachother the whole time Devin remained, Devin would fuck Scott up since he was a pussy but Devin wasn't great at planning, hence this:
>7th grade, gym class at the end of the day
>Day prior, bros and I are tossing pigskin after music class (which had some epic Devin meltdowns), Scott inerrupts and I nail him in face
>No one gives shit as he screams at me and says I stole and hid his gym bag
Niggawat
>Back to that day, /fit/bro gym teacher interrogates us boys who stole it
>It now occurs to me what I'm faced with but another buddy, Chas, clears me as he says he saw who did it, says Devin, and Devin says fuck you
>Teacher demands he apologize and run laps, Devin throws his trademark fit and storms out (flail about, strike anything, and squeal like a Viking goddess with a burst hymen)
More to come

>stuttered as he almost said rape

Back to sixth grade, music classes were fucking stupid but epic for the shit that usually went down with Devin.
>In music class, usual douche music teacher is gone, have sub and watch music animation on God-given school tv trolley/tower/alter
Awwwwwwwyeaahhhhhhh.jpeg
>Can't remember name of video, but one scene was balls bouncing on trampolines and into hoops
>Made one good ball joke (by middle school terms, it was hilarious, nowadays not so much) and every guy is fucking giggling like, well, 12 year olds
Another kid who often got on Devin's bad side was Darius. Darius was a dumbass but funny, he'd jump off a bridge if he got a laugh. He even showed us a perfectly coiled shit he took, which I knew he faked and moved the shit log himself since his hands were wet from being scrubbed, plus its impossible to do that. His laugh was also super annoying, like wheeze/hyil-hyil type of laugh.
>Anywho, Darius is yucking it up right next to Devin, his testarderone increasing to critical levels
>Devin gets fed up and does a fucking windup, overhead punch right into his stomach
Dat crack tho
>Darius is instantly fetal position, sucking air from a cracked rib and getting hit in the solar plexus
>Devin screams for us to shut the fuck up and watch it like we aren't children
>We try our best not to anger the tardlord, but we can barely stifle our laughter before it gets even funnier every second we watch the balls video
>Devin Viking storms out of the room and jump-kicks the wall (his other signature move, which basically was a shitty leap up, and pushing himself away from a wall or door with his leg, looked pretty weak and funny)
I'll share my music class stories of this kid first before I move onto more linear stories. That class was only good for fucking around and Devin's shit.

Bump

Later in that class, to actually get some intrigue and effort from us, the teacher assigned us to list music videos/songs we liked and we'd spend a few weeks watching them. One rule, only a few warnings for talking and, any more, the privilege would be shut down.
>3rd day of music, laughing at Weird Al's White and Nerdy and moving along
>Teach starts loading up one song Devin requested (found out Devin was a fan of two things, anime (especially Naruto) and Sonic the Hedgehog, and possibly J-Rock from what this shit was).
>Shit was awful, like a feret was simultaneously chewing on guitar chords and the singer was wailing after being castrated by the furry little bastard
>Ugly, dog-faced girl Mindy wouldn't shut up about how bad it is and got the whole thing shut down
Whore, we knew it was bad, but we kept shut when you made us listen to that faggy Drop in the Ocean/Barrel of a .45 horse piss, you brought this on yourself.
>We leave, pissed that we won't get to listen to our choices/see our classmates reactions
>Devin leap-kicks the door open and sprints off (the music and gym classes, except in 6th grade for the latter, took place in the high school, the music usually in a building adjacent to it called Phase 3, which was music/shop) towards the elementary school, end of the day and he walks home anyway
>Many of us are mad at Mindy, me personally telling her she looks like a bulldog with AIDS (best I could come up with) and she shoves me
Devin msut have seen me getting shoved and he must have light speed since he was over 50 yards away
>A blur of motion flies past me, it was Devin, and he fucking SPEARS Mindy
If anyone has ever watched Rhyno in TNA, when he gores someone like James Storm, that's exactly what just happened
>Speared her so goddamn hard she backflips, lands flat on her face, shoes fly into the air, she's out and he screams with righteous Otaku fury and the vocal cords of Satan, "STAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY, DOOOOOOOG!"
First time I ever feared him.

Things got more sour in that class between us after.
>Devin is pissed he doesn't get his way, his entire demeanor changes for like a month
>Start to think maybe he got kicked out of that other school for this shit
>Music class about a week later, just fucking around and laughing with buddies as usual
>Interrupts class and teacher stops multiple times to tell me to settle down
>Devin, somehow either intrigued by the lesson or just still ornery we can't listen Castrated Chink-sama
One buddy tells me as we start walking from Phase 3 around high school to buses, Devin was muttering about how he was sick of my shit. Darius, the bowl haircut faggot he was, sicks him on me like an autistic Rottweiler.
>Devin lets out his throat-shredding war cry (like a man who just came in a vagina that had teeth shoot into his dick at just that moment of orgasm) as he barrels at me
Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.ohfuck
>Transform into Jesse Owens with nearly-expired food stamps and bolt for buses
>Becomes clear quite quickly that the lion is catching up to the gazelle and, even if I reach the bus, it isn't guaranteed safety
>Only thing left is a retarded game of ring-around-the-rosey
>Start running around a parked sedan next to the sidewalk where I am hightailing it
>Always keep myself on the exact opposite side of Devin, he tries to juke me but his autism shows at this moment as he isn't as calculated when he isn't in control
>Gives up, screaming fuck more than every pornstar on every porn site ever has, cursing me, the school, everyone, and everything in this goddamn universe
>Buddies congratulate me, I'm the first to escape Devin's wrath, unscathed
Few weeks later:
>Pretty much fuck around nonstop in that class, have no idea how that teacher retained his sanity with my shit, he still hates me to this day over 8 years later
>Basic repeat minus Darius sicking him on me and me getting dumb and falling for one of Devin's jukes
>Run to side fakes like he's going away form, he's got me
Cont.

Cont.
>Lower my head and try to tackle him
>Like hitting a brick wall, he doesn't budge and I'm basically stopped dead hugging him
>Hold on as hard as I can as he wraps his arms around me and starts spinning me around and shaking me like a ragdoll, never letting go of him
>Matt the Chokeslam Survivor, knowing what Devin is capable of, pries us apart with the mythical strength of the anti-tard
This man saved my life. Matt, if I see you in college, I owe you a beer this year.
Next Year:
Devin is now almost always be followed by tard supervisor, Wills, and he is right there in classes where he may get triggered.
The only class he is there is music, obvious reasons, after his all-to-common flip outs and once launching a chair across a room and breaking a computer in the lab because the music assignment at the end of sixth grade (literally finding concert ticket prices, venues, etc for assigned bands) was too hard and of shit he hated.
>Be in early 7th grade, music class or gym end alternate days and the room is basically a square of those four-legged plastic chairs with no desk, table or anything
>Make smartass comment and teacher scolds me, Devin chiming in, "Maybe if you weren't such an idiot we'd learn something."
Fuckyou.alpha
>Shout back, "Devin, no one wants to hear your shit, you autist." (Meant to say Autistic something, but it worked)
>Engages tard strength which, as other Sup Forumsros have shown, shoves their intelligence out a fucking window
He and I are on exact opposite sides of the room, in the front row. Instead of running straight for me, he runs back, left and left again to me
>Literally don't give a shit because pissed, sit there twiddling my thumbs until he tackles me out of the chair
Starts trying to wail on me, all of his punches miss and hit the ground (thin carpet over concrete), bones litterally cracking and breaking in my ear he's punching so hard
Cont.

>Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, he doesn't seem to notice his fucked hand as he gets up and runs the SAME EXACT RETARDED ROUTE to get out of the room, instead of a straight line
Fucking tard
>Trips on a chair during the home stretch, my sides go on a journey like no other
>He cries, screams like a kid and starts pounding his legs and arms on the floor before getting up, looking around (probably realizing how retarded he looked) and stomped out
Not a fucking person moved. The useless, half-retarded, Frankstein monster looking tard supervisor, not the cock guzzling teacher, nor the students (though I didn't expect them to step into the line of fire).
>Wills follows Devin out, I get back up in my chair, chuckle a little bit longer and settle into the longest and most unbelievably uncomfortable silence of my life
>Teacher finally speaks up and says, "I shouldn't be surprised, but you keep finding ways to disappoint me."
>Go fuck yourself, dickhead. Get your balls out of your wife's purse and help me when you could have. Instead, say, "Thanks for the save."
Rest of class is nothing but awkward silence, bell rings and we go home.
That was really the last notable Devin rampage in music, he had more incidents but none worth noting. Back to the linear part of Devin's reign of terror.

Devin used his tardedness to his advantage and he knew it. He slept through classes only because teachers didn't want to deal with him (except the two ballsiest and coolest), got slaps on the wrist for his profanity-filled, violent tantrums, and had hella extended deadlines on assignments.
>Still 6th grade, math class
>Devin gets called on to solve a problem in the notes
>Says he doesn't want to, too tired
>Teacher says he must or he'll like 5 points (a letter grade or two) off of the daily assignments we just corrected
>Devin goes on a pseudo-philosophical rant about how useless the position of math teacher is, how math is only good for taxes and shit, and how dumb these basic concepts are, all of it filled with f-bombs
ClashoftheTitans.wav
>Teacher tells him to leave for the office, which he does and slams the door so hard the glass in it is jarred loose, but somehow not breaking it
>Teacher is pissed, steps out and demands he come back and apologize for his actions
>The battle of the minds begins, one clearly more competent than the other
Devin's arguments consisted of he didn't have to apologize and could act anyway he wanted around someone he doesn't respect. Keep in mind, this teacher is a foot and a half below Devin's height, but he's looking up at him with crossed arms and a pissed expression. He berates Devin for such idiotic thinking, saying that as a teacher he commands respect and Devin has no right breaking school property. The argument grows from there for the next five minutes, Devin's points only getting shittier and the math teacher's rebuttles better and more witty.
>Devin fucks off after the intellectual ass-kicking and we get back to dividing decimals or some shit
Weeks Later:
>In social studies, everyone's most loved teacher
>Funny, made class interesting, and quick to be a hag at you if you wronged the class
>Talking about Greek city-states and such
>Calls on Devin about how this was problematic, stirring him from his slumber
Cont.

Enjoying this user, keep it up

>Teacher makes shit of him for sleeping, we all laugh
>Screams out, "They are nothing compared to the might and eloquence of the samurai and ninja of Japan! Let's see a Greek use a katana! Or whoo a kunoichi! Can they do that? NO! So shut up!"
>My sides blew clean over to the Acropolis
>Teacher says, "Oh, that's fine and dandy. Enjoy fantasy land, we're here to learn about the foundings of Western civilization. Oh, and the samurai wouldn't last a minute in the battles Greeks fought."
>His senpai dishonored and waifu made impure, Devin flips his desk aside, storms out, slams door
Teacher stops him and tells him to cut the outbursts and grow up. He plays the autist card and she says, "Well, good for you. Meanwhile, there are people far worse off than you with that condition who would be glad to be as well-off as you are. You can rejoin my class when you know how to act."
>Go to bathroom after lesson and we begin assignments
>Find out Devin never goes to the office, instead hides in the janitor's closet right next to guy's bathroom
You'veGottobeShittingMe.mp4
>Crying like a bitch, complaining how bad he has it, how everyone bullies him, and how he's going to kill himself
>Wills is propped outside the door and mhm's and uh-huh's, could not sound any less concerned or care any less
This was always where Devin ran off to in his fits. Since autists hate the light about as much as a goddamn vampire or ginger, the darkness calmed him down. It was also free space for him to scream, cuss, and let it all out without being heard unless the door is open.

Not OP

>be junior me, in school commons after some acapella from America's Got Talent got done performing in our auditorium
>only like ten minutes left of school day, so everyone who went to the assembly was just allowed to chill after it was over
>Asian downie freshman girl and two normal freshmen were a few feet away from me
>Tard-chan wants to demonstrate how she was dancing during the show
>shimmies awkwardly with locked, stiff arms, lifts her leg in the air really quickly to leap in place-
>EEEEEK CRACK
>fucking half-backflips and slams her head full force onto the tile floor
>crack of her skull echoes in the commons
>"Tard-chan oh my gosh are you okay?!"
>"Yeah I'm fine it happens all the time."
>I fucking wheeze.

this

Somehow, this fucker only got the cops called in once, and it went like this.
>Closing up 6th grade, lunch time o' mothafuckin' cheeseburgas
Oh Lawd, have mercy
>The chatter and calm of the cafeteria is shattered as a familiar voice screams, "Well, fuck you then," and flips his tray
>Everyone turns to see Devin at one end of the cafeteria, buns, burger, pickles, fries, and milks flying through the air
The cheese, however, flies across to the opposite end and sticks to the blackboard. 40 feet away. I shit you not, I was impressed. That WAS NOT why the cops showed up.
>Begins to scream at Scott for sitting across from him just to antagonize a reaction out of him, gave him exactly what the smug fucker wanted
>Bitch slaps him with the force of a scorned Otaku, glasses fly off and disintegrate against wall
>Scott is bleeding from mouth, blood only makes autists crazier, like sharks with lower IQ's on average
>Vaults the table on one hand and double-boots him in the chest, flinging him back so hard his head fucking bounces of the floor
K.O!
>Unsatisified, Devin goes full Fight Club-levels of unsatisfied masculinity and asks what everyone is looking at
>It's bad, thank God the younger children are not here for this shit or his rant
>Goes on how he's sick of being treated different and how he'd rather be feared than liked by "Inferior dipships like us." and he's kill us all quicker than Hitler at a synagogue
Ohhhhh shit, it's goin down.
>Devin fucking heils and goose-steps out of the stunned cafeteria, before sprinting down the halls towards the middle school wing, and screams over and over, "I'm going to kill you all."
Shit was scary. They didn't take it seriously and had one officer come in and they formally called him to the office. I'm fucking serious. There was a tard in another story I read who got tackled for the exact same shit by a team of police. But, no, they walked his ass down, sat him down, had a nice chat, and had his mommy take him home.

damn user I love these stories where is Devin now?

After the cafeteria incident, there is no more like for Devin. It's split between animosity and fear. I hated him just for the amount of shit he was doing and getting away with for being mildly autistic, high-functioning, might I add. With others who hate Devin, we devise plans on how to piss him off to get him expelled.
Here's what we compiled:
>Devin hates being woken up
>Obsessed with that weeb shit and Sonic the Shithog
>Hates being challenged
>Cries if he loses control
>Hides in janitor closet
>Seems to empathize with more strict teachers, hence my fucking around really pissing him off
We had more but that was the main shit. This basically turned into two years of trying to get him kicked out by sacrificial means. It didn't get him expelled but he was basically taken out later. So begins a new chapter.
>Grade 7, after many blow-ups, Devin has his own gym class at the middle school
Phase I: Psyche
>Have someone go in, swipe his gym bag, and get rid of it
Was just some gray shirt and black swish short, but still big
>Don't see him the rest of the day, we could here him up the thin hall that led to the locker room slamming lockers and freaking out
>It was going to be too easy

>testarderone

someone better be screenshotting this

Fuck if I know, after 8th grade he disappeared (he'd never survive high school). Last things I heard was he never left this apartment his parents lived in and played games all day and watched anime. They moved somewhere else but he still doesn't leave the house, apparently has an online girlfriend from California. I lol at what a social tard she must be to consider that relationship, and he's already retarded so it works. He has a Facebook, just some occult thing as the pic and I've yet to try and friend him. Back to it.
Psyche Continued:
Our phases were pretty thought out but random and had no set length. It was basically when enough was done, we moved on. This one was relatively short.
>Whenever Devin fell asleep in class, the ones that allowed it, we devised ways to wake him up
Shooting paper arrows at him was the best results of rage, otherwise talking basically in his ear, bumping into him and such.
>We all soon lost fear of Devin, it was more bark than bite nowadays
>Whenever he threatened or screamed at people, we either ignored him or laughed and he'd either lose shit even more or start to cry
Since it was easy to get him riled, Phase 2 began and was often intermingled or coincided with Phase 1. Victimization.
>Since I was one of the nerdy types, I engaged him one day in some game talk when the English teacher stepped out
>The kid does not have enough time or oxygen in the day to praise Sonic, it has never done wrong and never will in his autist mind
>I just said I was more of a Mario guy
>I might as well have shattered a katana signed by the creator of Naruto right there, he went off
>Said how it was such a shitty game series, nothing new or good was in any of them, and how it just ripped Sonic off
>Casually debate him with a smile on my face and he gets even angrier, punches me in front of everyone
>Egg him on, "Is that the best you got? Give me a good one, queer bait."
Cont.

bump bc i need to hear the rest of this

>Devin instead gets up with a shout like no other, heads for the back of the room and FLIPS a huge, U-shaped table with absolute ease
That table usually takes four of us just to move.
>Papers go everywhere, teacher walks in just to see him heaving with rage and papers still landing
>Literally backs slowly out the door and heads to the office, reports it and we report him hitting me in a conversation later on
Plan was simple, egg him on and tattle on him. Yeah, it was a bitch strategy but it was the only way of getting rid of him. Fuck if I care if we're all snitches. Only person who really isn't in on it is Scott. The teachers and principal all see this spike in reporting Devin as an indication he's getting worse, I found out after his very last freak out in 8th grade. And they all started paying more attention to him. The hiding spot, the complete and utter meltdowns that were either violent, profanity riddled, or both. Seventh grade was just a series of everyone taking it for the team and fucking with Devin. He's basically as hated as Scott now. Eighth grade finally rolled around and our newest, best ally joined the cause.

helll yeah user for taking a punch and verbally emaculating him. I did that with a redneck kid in highschool.

bump

A Dean at my high-school would pee like that. This is a 6,5 250 big ass motherfucker. Was the weirdest shit.

...

hurry up op

Since we lost Darius, I was usually the one in seventh grade for coming up with plans. Next year, new kid comes in, Drew. This fucker was hilarious. One of the funniest dudes I've met. He was also pretty chill and we quickly filled him in, promoting him to my rank. Now, we had more scoped goals. At bigger events, we'd migrate around Devin, be more obnoxious in cheering and shit just to get bigger reactions in front of more and more people. Before anyone says this is cruel to a fucking autist, this kid wasn't that retarded at all. He was intelligent but with violent fucking anger issues. Go back to Tumblr, you fags. He was going to either hurt someone or shoot up the school. It had to be done. Anway, the fabled 8th grade tales:
>Find out Devin can't stand hearing stupid things happen (after one kid, Jake, got in trouble for peeing on top of the urinals and he went on a rant)
>Rush of detentions all around in the beginning of the year for dumb shit
I got ten detentions in the span of a month, from flipping off people in full-view of teachers, repetitive tardiness with excuses to classes we shared, and my favorite was asking a special ed teacher what a chicken fajita (pronounced va-gita) was and why everyone said she loved eating them.
>Halloween dance comes around
>2 rooms are full to the brim with students who cannot attend, due to more than three detentions being unable to go
>Devin is dressed like Naruto, Drew is our inside man
Since Devin was autist, lights and noice were his powder keg. Drew spent weeks getting in good with the choir of the school, who was going to do a Thriller set-up in honor of MJ. Drew helps with set-up and makes his moves as they set up for it.
>Blasts speakers to deafening levels
>Strobe lights and those spiralling balls with lights poking out galore
>Everyone is enjoying it, but it's all too overstimulating for Devin
Cont.

God bless you user keep on typing

>Storms out and, in one of his most impressive displays of tard strength, slams this thick, heavy door with stoppers on it to make it near-impossible to slam, so hard it shatters to panes of glass on that door
Impressive.younggrasshopper
>For the first time since he showed up, Devin gets a two week suspension, giving us time to come up with more
Devin likes field trips as well, so thanks to that, he can no longer go on any for the entire year. No Christmas movie trip, no skiing/snowboarding, no bowling, no skating, no nothing. He is a pissed force now. Exacerbate it by making loudly big deals of it near him at any opportunity. How the teachers never saw what we were clearly doing is beyond me.
Semester ends and our final stage has come: Health Class. Which, funnily enough, ended in Sex Ed. It was all or nothing, now. It was this or he ends up in high school for four years if this failed.

Continue?

For most of the semester, Devin was either really quiet or had outbursts we had no hand in. We centered all of our energy into making every health class with Devin in it as effective as possible. Here goes:
>Day One: Teacher, who is an old, nasty bitch, goes over the basics.
>Penis, vagina, condom, std, babies, etc.
>We giggle non-stop like kids
>Raise our hands and ask what each of those are and do again like we're retarded and she actually gives us answers
Devin is not amused.
>He calmly gets up and leave the room
Wait, wut?
>Hold your horses. He came back and instantly flipped shit the second the door shut
>Rips marker from teacher and squiggles all over the board and its writing
>Starts drawing stick figures with huge dicks and tits, drawing arrows from the dick to the crotch region of the lady stick, tard bellowing,
"That is a penis, not that any of you idiots have one. That is a vagina, which you sluts obviously have. Penis goes in vagina, jizz and babies!"
>Drew raises his hand and asks, "What's a vagina look like?"
>Devin growls before turning and starts trying to draw one
He can't, it looks like a fucking lemon, kek
>Drew raises his hand again, I heard one of my buddy's say you can also put it in a bunch of other places on a girl, or guy, is that true?
>Class agrees and asks in unison, why the teacher didn't take over is beyond me or do anything, probably because she wanted it to run its course (since she had a tard child who was alright, she wasn't going to interfere)
>Devin goes red-faced and cries, scuttles out of the room and we hear the door to the janitor's closet open, he wails, then closes
This was the first fucking day. Every day after that was largely the same. One day, he tried to wait for Drew at the door, but we intercepted his bullshit and waited back. Trying to take out one of the command, eh? He eventually left and freaked out in the hall. Weeks went by but nothing came of instances like this until the very last class: birth control.

...

Birth Control:
>This class was a free day aside from the fact we had to watch a video detailing the costs, effects, and reliability of birth control
>Condoms, diaphragms, the common stuff gets by us unscathed
Pulling out
>We start howling with laughter at this to piss Devin off, who is by this point hardened to our shit
>Teacher essentially buries herself in paperwork, hard of hearing so this is our last chance
>"Hey Devin," one calls out, "what was the best part of Vietnam? Pulling out?"
>Devin, when you try not to jizz, do you kink it like a house or just blow your load in a latex trash bag."
The shit they said almost killed me, my sides nearly caving in on me.
The coupe de grace came from yours truly
>Detailng vasectomy and tube tying, upon seeing the price I declare, "For that price, bitch can get pregnant. Speaking of Devin's mom..."
Devin has had more than enough of being directly and openly taunted for the first time. He sees us through and he will take one with him.
>Class ends, only a few school days left
>Devin waits at the door again, we wonder for who
>I volunteer as tribute and head for the door, knowing I may full-well get the shit kicked out of me
How right I was

OP is deep down the spectrum himself. Deep enough to
>walk dinosaur.

man i really wanna see a picture of devin also
user screen cap this shit it is gold im so tired
right now but you had the gold post of the night

>Devin follows me out the door
>Kicks my legs out from under me and slams his binder over my head
DazedandConfuzed.LedZeppelin
>Grabs me by the head and slams me into locker
T.K.O!, can't see straight
>Kicks me in back so hard it knocks the wind out of me, collapse back
>Starts stomping my chest in before a more competent, more built tard guard than Wills tackles him to the ground
>Once I can see properly, I just pack my shit away and head for the bus
>Teachers find me, ask me if I'm okay and what happened
>I actually was somehow fine, no lasting wounds, and said we were just laughing in health at a birth control video
>Teachers don't even care, they are fed up with Devin and worried for safety of others
Devin is locked away in tard HQ with less coherent than he, and much more likeable. I saw him twice more that year, 8th Grade Promotion and a few days prior in the hall. We locked eyes and I gave him a big smirk, he scowled. Promotion passed and we heard nothing of his case. We were afraid we had lost the battle.
Fortunately, fate aided us. Devin simply either dropped out or entered homeschooling. Either way, he just stayed home, never went outside, and either played vidya or watched animu. Never saw him again until my Junior year wrapped up and I was at my sister's Promotion
I was bored as fuck until I realized his sister was in my sister's class and I instantly started searching. Found him, a mere 10 feet from me but no idea I was there. I knew shit was gonna go down. The Social Studies teacher took the stand and cracked some jokes and spoke passionately, but Devin let loose one last meltdown. He rose up, letting out a fake, angered laugh as he stormed out of the room (no dinosaur). His dad followed, the teacher wasn't even fazed and the speech continued even as he flipped shit. Never saw him since.
High school was great. No one was having meltdowns and no threats of violence were made beyond that of regular teen jokes. We definitely saved a lot of trouble.
>MFW

you absolute madman

Feels good man

Pic fucking related, OP here, and that is Devin around the end of 6th grade.

>OP earns a merit badge

exactly how does one become a 'tard wrangler' ? is there some sort of course i can apply for?

Bump, to prolong a few more brief moments of OPs glorious faggotry.

I read this as "I'm not masturbating, I have Autism. Please be understanding"

Someone screencap this shit.
Bump

bumpingtons

OP of the year

saved as pdf