So at my apartment complex there is this fatass woman that absolutely refuses to pick up her dogs shit. This morning the landscapers came to mow the grass and of course they are not going to pick up that shit either, therefore the shit sprays everywhere. All over mine, as well as a few other residents's vehicles. The worst part is that there is literally one of those doggie waste stations 10 feet away from the minefield of shit loafs, yet she still won't do it. Complaints have been filed against her, but the management here isn't doing anything about it.
So I'm asking you Sup Forums. What's something elaborate I could do to get it through her thick skull that she needs to start picking up after her mutt?
Jacob Wilson
Gather the poop and leave it on her car and doorstep.
Carson Lee
I had a condo neighbor not pick up their dogs shit. Make sure you ask her before doing anything, maybe she's just clueless. If she doesn't comply then do what I did, go pick up her dogs shit with a baggie or something and smear it on her door handle, get it deep in the keyhole too for a nice lasting smell.
Sebastian Taylor
throw dog shit at her windows put dog shit under her carpet put dog shit on her doorknob
Jonathan Lopez
Or make little flags with her name and soar tent number on them and put them on a stick. Every time she leaves a steaming pile of poo, post a flag by it.
Jackson Lopez
Pick it up and throw it at her door or her car windshield
Jayden Turner
Kill her dog
Elijah Scott
Complain to your complexes corporate office. If they don't have one then move to a real complex after saving up the shit and your shit and leaving it on her door step/jam.
Connor Campbell
Pick up the poop with a paper bag and smear it on her door, spelling "Pick up your dog's shit"
Elijah Ward
*Plastic bag
Grayson Lee
stuff poo in in the air inlet grill of her car (usually right in front of the windshield) or place on her wiper blades- if she runs them it will smear all over
Isaiah Barnes
move somewhere far away from other people because they are all assholes and if it wasn't this it would be somehting else
Angel Hughes
gather a a ton of poop, even your fresh poops and smear it on her door in the night, even, pee on a plate and freeze it overnight, then put it under her door she will have no idea how someone got inside and pissed on her floor
Kayden White
Kill the land whale Fuck the dog
Henry Davis
kill that fatso
Brayden Ward
eat half, rub the rest over your body, run naked through streets
Connor Barnes
Take a shit on her doorstep
Adrian Evans
The only real solution
Benjamin Evans
>Take dog poop. >Place in brown paper bag. >Bring it to her door step. >Proceed to light the bag of dog poop on fire. >Knock on her door and bolt.
Dylan Morgan
This, no other way. There is an asshole or a bitch or both around every corner and on one side or the other of every home. If it's not your neighbor on either side then it is you but there is one in every other home.
Brody Miller
This
Grayson Sanchez
BEST YET! since its the summer. Get some shit, put it in a zip lock bag and make it flat, freeze it.... when your ready, unzip the bag and slip it into her passenger side window. PRICELESS
Jaxson Thomas
Grab the dog shit, knock on her door once she opens it just throw it at her
Jaxon Collins
>pick her dogs shit up >set it all in front of her door >winning
Chase Sullivan
...
Jonathan Torres
given the situation and circumstances, I'd collect the shit and collect the methane from it and sell it as natural gas. One dog's shit is another man's treasure and your fatassed neighbor and the landscapers missed out on a golden opportunity.
Logan Price
The return of the pooping bandit
Jason Bailey
are the main entrances to the units under surveillance? If not rub shit all on the hidden side of her doorknob (your own shit if need be) so it gets on her hand the next time she uses it. After a few days, when she's likely fell victim to the poopy trap, slip an anonymous note under her door telling her that's what happens when she doesn't clean up her dog's shit.
Lincoln Ortiz
This is what I did to the bitch who refused to pick up her dog's shit in the common yard.
>Buy a shit scooper shovel and rake, and a 5-gallon bucket with a lid on it. >wrap the bucket in a garbage bag. You don't want the smell of this anywhere near you. >every day when she isn't there, rake up the shit and put it in the bucket. >wait until it's half full >fill it 1/4 full with water >allow to sit and ferment in the sun for a couple of days >move it CAREFULLY to her front door and balance it on a cinder block so it rests against the door >unwrap your 4 gallons of marinated dogshit and set it on the door >place a note that says "This is what happens when you let dog shit sit instead of picking it up. PICK UP YOUR FUCKING DOG SHIT" on the door, knock and walk away >if you've done it right the bucket will fall into her house and spill four gallons of liquid dogshit into her apartment/condo >better yet if her dog is poorly trained it will smell its own shit and decide that no matter what, the front door is a great place to take a shit and piss >when all else fails call the cops and have her cited for it. (AFAIK it's illegal to leave animal feces in most munis)
Jacob Ward
>the filename
Thomas Rivera
Record her and contact apartment manager she will probably get kicked out
Cameron Wright
Those landscapers are disgusting too then.
William Gonzalez
Kill her dog, get it stuffed, and mail it to her a month later
Luis Brooks
I dont believe you actually did this
Lucas Stewart
I want to believe
Mason Johnson
>cook hamburgers >brake glass >combine the two and put it outside >Wait for results
Henry Sullivan
Make her eat your shit
Ian Moore
Shit in her yard
Juan Butler
Are you a fellow slavfag? Building "management" has absolutely no power. Apartments are private property so the residents can't get kicked out, but you can report to communal inspectors (idk what americunts call them) and they will probably fine the person making a mess as long as it's outside of the building.
Jose Allen
Smear your own shit on her door/doorknob and leave a note saying "Clean up your shit".
Every Day
Persistence is key. Don't stop until she starts. If she slacks off, strike again.
Dominic Anderson
...
Kayden Wood
Put it on the underside of every door handle or knob she opens.
Lincoln Jones
start with a sternly worded letter posted on her door, include the part about the shit spray. if that dont work, like other anons said >poop shenanigans
Tyler Campbell
If there's no security cameras...
Fresh dog poop goes into the keyholes of the car, and onto the driver's door handle and trunk latch.
Old/dried dog poop gets crumbled into dust and sprinkled down into the cabin air intake.
You can also pack that stanky fudge into the exhaust pipe, but don't treat it like a potato. Leave half the opening clear so the car can breathe out a cloud of stink wherever she goes. You can also smear it on the top of any part of the exhaust system for a similar effect.
Shoving it into/through the radiator fins is great if she rides around with her windows down.
Christian Walker
Fresh dog shit tastes good! Consider it a free meal.
Camden Allen
naw. thats how you get your ass caught by the authorities or worse. If it comes to be an expected daily occurrence, eventually you'd be surprised by the police whom she called, or one of her relative's burly husband who stayed up all night waiting for your nightly visit.
Noah Hernandez
why do i stop scrolling to look at shit?
Xavier Ortiz
Here's what you do:
1.Pick up as much of it as you can justify for this horrendous task.
2.Place in a disposable container and add water until you get it to a nice thin consistency.
3.Wait until nightfall then place the shitslurry into a heavy-duty sprayer/pastry icing tube/etc. and meticulously apply a generous coat to the owner's car radiator/tail pipe/engine block.
4.Listen to barking rat owner bitch for months about shit smell in car.
Levi Parker
Or you know, just don't
Ryder Smith
make Jenkem obviously
Hunter Nelson
because it's funny somehow.
Here's an off topic poop anecdote. I used to go in public bathrooms and after shitting and wiping, I'd take the shitty toilet paper and loosely stuff it up into the nozzle of an electric hand dryer, so it will shit-side-down and totally invisible from the casual glance. The next person who came in and went to dry their hands hopefully got my shit paper blown right into their freshly washed hands. tee hee!
Brayden Smith
I have never picked up my dog's shit.Not because I'm lazy,but because my family's been fighting with the neighbors long before we got a dog.Now that I think about it; everyone's feuding with everyone else in this neighborhood.
My dog died at the age of 18 two months ago, so I'm gonna eat about 2kg of bean salad and take the most disgusting lava shit in the same area my dog used to shit, in his honor.
Brandon Cook
Just gather some poop up and mix it with water so its still thick but will spray out a spray gun or whatever. Then go and spray paint her doorway with it everytime she leaves poop.
Zachary Howard
Pussy
Luis Johnson
Knock on her door and ask her if you can eat her pussy
Blake Brown
I rubbed a bit of chili powder onto a roll of toilet paper in a public restroom.Idk if anyone used it tho. I bought carolina reaper powder on ebay and that shit is pain in powder form.
Adrian Johnson
dude
Hudson Lee
You mean kill the fat cunt
Ryan Jenkins
I think you can tell the cops or something and they'll put down her dog or make her pay a fine
Andrew Cruz
Just be the good beta you are and pick up the shit for her "love thou neighbor"
Oliver Williams
Son you're being a beta. When an animal sets 1 hair on my property, I blow it's brains out with a .22lr round. Dogs, cats, raccoons, squirrels, I won't have it.
And I'd suggest you employ the same train of thought with that damn mongrel cretin that's been making stool all over the place.
Pic related. A cat I shot in 2014 (the only one I've photographed, I hit this one from 100 yards, AT NIGHT).
Samuel Moore
nice
Lucas Lopez
The police will kill her dog? what the fuck country are you from?
Daniel Miller
Leave some chocolate where she walks her dog, and make dog sick.
Zachary Cruz
Collect it in a paper bag. Let bottom of the bag get moist. .place in front of her door. When she grabs it to throw it away the bottom of the bag will give out and a torrent of shit should get her feet.
Jayden King
Fag
David Williams
just poison dog
Robert Green
use rat poison and bait the dog....or use baker's dark chocolate....99% cacao
Connor Torres
I had the same problem with all my neighbors; they all refused to pick up after their dogs. I complained to the people who run the apartment complex and they threatened to impose a $35 fee for dog ownership and a $25 fee each time somebody didn't pick up after their dog.
That was 2 years ago and I haven't had a problem since.
Adrian Jones
Thanks friend
and you can suck balls, fuck you and your "outdoor cat or dog". I hope for your sake neither ever set paw on my property.
Elijah White
Fag
Angel Turner
> 100 yards at night
Wow you sir are impressive I bet you served as a scout sniper or something
Elijah Clark
lol i like when people post stuff like this because i always make a mental note of it and then when i'm in a situation that references an user's post i remember and avoid / double check what the problem could be before it happens.
Noah Long
Is it okay to not pick up the dog poop if the dog poops in the alley? When I walk my pugs on the sidewalk I clean it but if we're in the alley and poops by a trashcan then oh well
Kevin Hall
you need to look into your local ordinance laws, etc. etc.
but if the management doesn't care, i'd move the hell out. granted you might be on a lease or agreement that won't let you out until X amount of time passes but seriously, the price you pay for peace of mind is worth it.
Brayden Barnes
There are things far worse than shit in alleys.
Joshua Phillips
I like this idea. Screams of liberal passive aggressiveness.
Luke Stewart
shit on her car
Evan Myers
Your obviously a dick
Aiden Bennett
FTW
Julian Johnson
use one of those small shovels to pick the shit up and shove it in her mailbox
Jackson Scott
Acquire Shovel. Place all the shit on her doorstep. Done.
Anthony Bell
>pick up shit >bake some tasty shit with shit >give tasty bakey shit >profit?
Daniel Brown
Did you complain to the cops yet?
Jaxson Howard
>melt poop >heat up melted poop to boiling point >use molten poop as ammunition >get a water pistol/supersoaker >blast that bitch & her dog with molten poop >do as much damage to her property as possible with shit cannons
Isaiah Taylor
This for the dog, or the owner?
Lucas Lewis
how bigs the dog? if it's big, start collecting the shit in a big ass bag or container.
if small, see if you can't acquire some animal shit, like manure.
proceed to build giant shit mountain,after collecting enough poo, outside her apartment door.
if you go with manure, can be quiet and quick, build a thin layer of shit up against her apartment door, either drying it as you go, or let the air dry it over night. when she opens her door she'll have a shitty veil blocking the door, which she'll probably try breaking through with her bare hands without thinking, and then a mound of shit behind that with your note saying PICK UP YOUR DOG'S SHIT YOU FUCKING CUNT.
Alexander Reyes
This. I like.
Benjamin Green
Rolling
Connor Williams
> actual sociopathy
Jeremiah Garcia
>heat up melted poop to boiling point This will make OP's house smell god awful. Cooking time Sup Forumsoys did it and threw up while in the process
Colton Ross
Two possibilities:
Since she lives in your complex, get her address, pick up the dog shit all week, but into a zip-loc bag, store in the freezer, after a set time, week, month get a large manila envelope, address it to her, fill it with the turds, affix the correct postage and mail it to her
Or
Find out where she works, mail it to her boss, include a note, that her dog's shit will be mailed to them weekly until she cleans up after her dog
One more maybe, pick up the shit, put into a FedEx envelope, with a note as to who the shit belongs to and put the envelope into the Apartment Manager's office mail slot
Caleb Wright
stop being a pussy?
Asher Campbell
Kill the fucking dog and leave a note saying not to get another unless she plans on picking it's shit up.
ALTERNATE: Get chicken blood and parts, spread everywhere, take the dog to shelter and do above without harming dog (who doesn't understand why shitting anywhere is bad)
Levi Wright
>move shit to door >Write "DESIGNATED SHITTING STREET" on wall in shit >profit?
Jose Bell
Yeah.. That happened..
Sebastian Green
You make dog shit cookies and leave them outside her door with a note saying from your secret admirer.
This way she eats shit and is fooled into thinking someone cares about her.