Anyone here ever taken a marijuana piss test?
I stopped smoking about 2 days ago. Have a drug test in 2 weeks, so 16 days total to clean up. Before that I smoked like 3 times a week on average, not very much, it would take me at least 2 months to go through a quarter ounce with friends helping.
Been drinking a fuck ton of water everyday, I exersise everyday, take creatine, and have been on a diet. How fucked am I Sup Forums ?
3 times a week? You're beyond fucked
If youre skinny ur fine, whale status ur fucked
100%.
how much you weigh and how fast is your metabolism?
in urine thc lasts up to 30-90 days
true but most test you have to hit a limit before its positive
Weigh 185lbs.
They told me not to drink a lot of water the day of test because it will dilute my piss, but how will they know if my piss is diluted? Do they just judge off of piss color? and if so would they be able to detect a few drops of yellow food coloring in my piss?
how do you measure your metabolism speed?
>My metabolism is about three wet rocks and a half-horse.
Cranberry Juice
the RAW stuff from the health food store
Drink the whole fucking thing
& stop sweating it
you are a minor aren't you.
this dude is right, tho youll still probly be fucked if you have a shit metabolism
Fuck that, chug water, they cant tell you to do shit aside from no flushing the toilet/using a sink during the test
21 years old.
Google it you fucking retard
failed a drug test before user.. sucked balls. lost my job but then again, had smoked about 2 days before while getting sucked off by q.t
Take a pouch of clean piss in with you. Leading up to the test, leave it out in the sun to keep it warm as to not raise suspicion.
they told you not to drink alot because it dilutes your piss, making it so youve got a higher chance to test positive lol
drink tons of water the day before or that morning, depending on when it is.
dont piss until youre about to go there, take a quick piss to get out what youve flushed out of your body.
your next piss will have less toxins and shit and youll be good.
maybe.
Seriously, people are helpless .
if your piss is crystal clear they will probably make you retake it the next day.
take vitamin b-12 drink lots of water and stay away from junk food on the day of the test eat a light breakfast when you first wake up and then nothing until after the test. Also when you piss dont fill the cup up with the beginning of the stream or the end.
maybe you should start smoking pot and chill co's you are really agitated it seems.
I went to a rehab facility for a while and had to test 2 times a week. When I first got there it took me about 30 days to get all the thc out of my urine. I had been smoking at least once a day for a couple months and before that 3 times a week at least. I only weighed about 110 and had fast metabolism. I really don't know if this helps put it into perspective but I think you'll be fine.
two seconds into google and I found how to calculate your metabolism with an equation
You mean test negative lol. Testing positive would mean they would see the drugs.
If thats what you meant, then yes you're probably right because the person that told me not to drink a lot of water was my employer and not the drug testing center.
My Plan:
Drink a fuckton of water+cranberry juice night before, 2Gallons (dont care if I wet the bed) and 1.5 gallons morning of, and half gallon right before. Then when I go in for the test I'll start pissing in the toilet then put the cup under dick mid-piss.
Just get some 'Serious Monkey Bizzness". I was recommended to this stuff by a friend when I was in need of a new job. I took this to the clinic I had to report to for the test and I followed the instructions on the box. I put the warm synth urine in the cup and handed it back to the lab tech. I signed a waiver saying I did not alter my sample and walked happily out of there. I got a call a week later and the results were negative for drugs so I got the job! I still have an extra bottle stashed in my car in case of a sudden drug test from the employer, but I do not see that happening, but because it is not an arm and leg I do not mind.
good for you
perhaps 1 gallon not 2 now that I think of it.
take a piss before you go in cause they test whats in the toilet
If you are taking a common dollar store test, you could get away with water and some food coloring, but if your piss is getting sent to a facility to be tested, they will find anything wrong with your piss, they can tell how much water, or if there is anything weird in it. I'm pretty sure you'll be good anyway though.
Drink half cranberry juice and half water, it clears out your system faster than either on its own. Keep exercising, and when the day comes don't worry about the color of your piss. I've gone on detox for drug tests plenty of times. Worse case scenario they make you take it a couple days later and you get longer to detox. I'm not gonna promise you that you will pass or fail, but this is the best way to guarantee your success. You can also try the gelatin trick the day of the test but I've heard very mixed results from that. Either way good luck Sup Forumsro, I've been there and it sucks, but you'll get through it.
are those tests from weed shops any good? If I get one to test myself will it be accurate?
I passed my drug test two days after I had smoked. Take a few aspirin a few hours before test also b12 and a fuck ton of water the day of. Idk it has worked every time
You're fucked, I had the same problem at my job and I got fired. I was supposed to be getting a raise and I fucking got tested and fired. First, it came out distiller so they had me retest and the company of my job just fired me for coming out distilled twice
>>ttldr; Youre fucked Sup Forumsro
Sup Forums you are genius. All this talk of metabolism got me thinking.
I used to take E/c stack when I would diet a few years back. Still got a million pouches of ephedrine (a fully legal non-over the counter nasal decongestant).
E/C stack is essentially a 1/3 as potent version of clenbuterol. It can accelerate your metabolism anywhere between 3-5%.
That + the cranberry juice. This should fucking work. I'm not a fatass. I only weigh 185lbs.
I take piss test regularly and have smoked regularly and cleared in 4 days, I buy hone tests from the chemist and use them. If I smoke as a once off I can clear in a day or two. Smoking regularly it gets higher and higher the more you smoke. Drink lots of water and exercise, I'd assume you'll be fine. I wouldn't be worried at all.
If they don't hover over you, use a non lubricated condom full of clean piss from a person of your sex. The reason I say of your sex is because if it's a test they send in, that can detect if a person is pregnant/using birth control. So for safety sake, use clean piss from the gender you are. The condom method works well if they don't hover, and you can keep a sample of piss fresh for a few days by putting it in a fridge. While you are getting ready to go in on the day of the test, warm the piss up to body heat by using warm water from the tap. To transport it shove it in with your balls, but keep a portion in the "fly" of your underwear so it doesn't shift around too much. Then when you're at the area where they test, whip it out like you would your dick when pissing, then use your nails to pop a hole in the tip to drain the piss into the cup. Then you just hide the emptied condom back in your underwear until you're off the premises.
NOT fucked at all. Just drink like 2-4 liters of water daily. I smoked a week straight, drank water a week straight and passed my test. Is it a quick drug test where they test all from opioids to weed or is it sent to a lab?
>pic related