How are you holding up Sup Forums?

How are you holding up Sup Forums?

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inconsistency.bandcamp.com/album/sleep-dream-initiate
twitter.com/AnonBabble

with my middle finger

Idk right now. Was sad yesterday and got my hair buzzed as an emotional decisions. Today I'm not feeling anything. I was stressed about school, but I've just stopped caring for now. Just listened to Frigid Stars LP for the first time and vibed with it.

THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY TIME TO PARTY

Here's a wojak to go with my feels. Also feeling a little lonely

FIVE MORE HOURS WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED

my bf said he doesn't love me anymore. i'll probably end up moving back in with my parents.

Pretty well honestly, I got over depression last year around this time and I've been doing well since.

i dont really feel much of anything anymore. i'm just hanging in there, not sad or happy, just existing.

Pretty sure I lost my only close female friend of 10 years the other week. Not sure what I said. We talked on and off for a while, but I guess this time she's done for good. Feels really bad.

Not so great. School sucks, but I'm a good year from graduating, been depressed about life, shutting everyone out. I have a part of a project due tomorrow and I haven't touched it all weekend and I can't bring myself to do it tonight, but I also don't want to fall farther behind

>been depressed about life, shutting everyone out.
this is how i feel. i don't even know how i'm going to get out of my depression hole. i kind of just want to rot forever. i just feel so low

You have a hobby besides music listening?
Sorry user but theres plenty of fish in the sea. Keep looking youll find the one. Listen to the stranger
Do molly to reset the dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain. You only need one trip then the next day when your feeling sonewhat normal again put yourself in a regime that fights depression

i'm the one from above who said my bf just broke up with me and said he doesnt love me anymore. after 4.5 years. my family lives 550 miles away. so im just depressed. i dont even know where i can get some molly. i'm a friendless loser.

At work and the music that gets played here is radio Top 40. Fucking kill me

not fucking well, man. losing my best friend (old feelings between us involved), i'm sick again and the pain keeps me awake nights, work is suffering because of both of those, and my grandfathers cancer is back :(

on the plus side, i finally listened to this album and it's great.

thanks for asking op :3 how are you?

I had the entire week off, I could have used it to catch up with my studies and be productive but instead I just shitposted the entire week away.
Feeling kinda guilty right now but oh well.

i play videogames sometimes, not nearly as much as i used to. i don't really have that much time to listen to music so other than school im mostly on Sup Forums or sleeping

Damn g thats rough. You dont have to move to a city. Why dont you download tinder or grindr and get laid to fuck away the feelings. Have some rebound sex. Either your a gay guy or a girl and either way getting laid is not hard. Tell your best friend that your past that shit and your not trying to see either of your wounded egos break the friendship off

Stop going on Sup Forums and do something more productive instead

well i live with with my current ex. and i don't have enough money to make it on my own. i'd have to move back with my parents.

what's really hurting me is he didn't even tell me in person. he's like unable to. last week he told me he doesn't like me anymore and i gave him the chance to talk to me about it. 3-4 days went by and nothing. inarticulate hole of a person

i do that with my hair too, generally don't regret it for months. is Frigid Stars good?

i've told him, and he's all "oh i know, me too, it's all good" but we just never talk. you know when you're putting in all the effort in a friendship? tires you out

See

^
OP

For the past 2 months i haven't
>Drank
>Smoked weed/cigs
>fapped
>done ecstasy, though i am starting to really really want to do some again

I feel like i am getting over my depression.
Have been showering every day, working out, fixing my sleep patterns, eating healthy.
I actually finished a drawing ive wanted to do for like 2 years.

I still have a school to finish and a job to find.

But at least now its hard to believe i had suicidal depression just 6 months ago.

Tho. one thing i really dont like is my friends keep inviting me out, and i feel so bad about refusing every time.
And i come off like a complete asshole, because i used to be this guy who was up for anything.
Its not like i hate fun, i just feel like these kind of things - going to bars/meeting girls/scoring drugs will start to push me off the rails, because they are the things that got me in this depression in the first place.

Yea it's really good. I liked the numbness of the album. Yea I just was just a little upset about a girl and about school. I looked in the mirror, hated my hair, and went down to super cuts. Cost me $8.48 plus tip.

I have some updates. but first to get up to speed:

>be me
>grow-up in small shitty rural town
>good friends, family's not totally evil (not totally anyway) but there's one problem
>even the nicest person here hates gays
>after years of internal torment i come to terms with it
>go off to college
>struggle with meeting people who are OK with it
>after college move overseas, to totally get away from everyone and finally try to be me
>get a job that's horrible
>the job ruins my life, begin to get depressed and clinical burnout
>quit and have to return, to that fucking town
>trying to get a job, nobody would give me a good position because no regard for overseas work eperience I had
>get fed-up after a couple years ad decide to go back overseas, MAKE IT WORK NO MATTER WHAT, and stay forever
>decide to do a 2yr masters degree to guarantee myself a visa
>go back, toil like hell - study full-time and work full-time simultaneously
>happy though, getting my life together, never let myself get depression again
>meet the most beautiful guy ever
>my life is finally set.jpg
>finish my degree
>that same day i finished, the gov't changes the visa rules - no longer offering the visa i spent $100k and 2 years attaining
>hire immigration lawyer
>spend thousands trying to solve this disaster
>eventually lawyer concedes that only hope is to get my BF to sponsor me on a relatinship "de facto" visa
>approach him about it
>he freaks, totally betrayed because he believed i had everything figured-out and it was goin to be good
>in order for us to qualify for that visa they interview friends and family about us to confirm our relationship
>we'd have to live together too
>sadly his family is exactly like mine
>he unfriends me on facebook
>i knew it was coming
>within a few weeks i had to return to the nightmare of my shit home town all alone, with fucking absolutely nothing

cont...

i'll try it next so, and i thought you had buzzed it yourself, that's what i do :O

Great! working out is really good for getting over depression.

you should tell your friends that this is how you feel about going out atm now

Nah I just lent my sheers to a friend so had to go pay for it.

my mom passed away a month ago after a year of being sick of cancer and other stuff and me taking care of her and i couldn't help her after all.
i'm trying to figure everything out and it just feels so weird and lonely without her. made an ad on craigslist to finally find a proper band because i was postponing this for so long and now it's time to finally do something that i always wanted. i live in nyc so maybe i'll find something.
also don't have that many friends and i had to cut my best friend off because she lied to me over and over and i just couldn't take it anymore.
i'm doing much better than i thought but it's still scary and strange here.
and november 1st is a year from when i recorded my first ambient album so i'll listen to that on tuesday.

so far kind of ok. learning to not freak out about just about everything and to just try to enjoy things. probably still going to end it all someday, but not in the foreseeable future.

No regret about the hair too. Actually think it looks good, plus I wanted a clean slate.

>get back everything's shit
>live out in the sticks
>sleeping in the basement of my brother's house part-time and at my friend's house part-time
>small shitty town
>no public transportation
>~2hrs to the city
>nobody will hire me with an overseas degree and work experience
>job applications result in no response or "don't you think you should have stayed overseas??"
>get shitty $14/hr job in the city
>commute 6hrs a day at a cost of $40
>make no money, no change of promotion
>after a year of that shit quit, not worth it
>every night still waking-up in a sweat, never wondering where i am at first and then remembering
>doom, every night
>gets so bad my options are just off myself or find a way back
>i apply to extemely competitive/difficult university course back in my overseas country, for a second masters degree
>months go by, not sure what will happen, don't get my hopes-up
>finally after most of the year I hear back from the university
>accepted
>going to have to add a $100k student loan debt to do it
>it doesn't matter anymore
I've been gone for 3 years bros, and I'm going back in a couple months. I'm nervous and scared as hell.

don't end it man. You only get one chance at life. I'll get a beer with you and we can listen to some great music together.

n-n-no thanks. I don't think you know me well enough to just say that though. it might not be today, next month, or next year, but it's happening eventually

I would say I'm out of depression, but still not happy yet. Ultimately I'm just waiting for the end desu

i just said i wasn't feeling like going out.

I mean, how would you feel if a friend of yours told you that he feels like having fun and hanging out with you sets him back in life?

>mfw november 8 is a week from tuesday

also, this girl i kinda like lent me her hand cream to cover up the smell of the weed in my bag, so alright i guess.
>inb4 DUDE

I used to be really depressed for some time but I've been "understanding myself" and feeling comfortable with who I am for a while now, and nowadays I feel pretty neutral.

I'm doing great. I'm on a high for some reason.

You're fucked

awful. so bad. very bad. shit is grim.

Good point, but you could try suggesting other things to do that you think won't detrimental to yourself

reminder that depression is a mental illness that can be treated and that emotions are temporary, but suicide isn't. going to a doctor or therapist is the best thing you can do right now.

and don't just think "i'll go to a doctor sometime", do it now. you'll put it off or forget about it. it's the easiest way to help yourself or just get shit done in general, set a schedule and force yourself to do it. you won't regret.

just don't kill yourself

goddamn. i thought you guys were chill.

had my first date ever today

i think it went okay, not sure if i'm gonna ask her out on another date or not though

why not?

is this your first time here?

I'm ok

Job is a mess right now and looks like I have to walk away from it.

On the other hand, I'm learning the stock market and doing alright in it. I'm walking more and soon it will be nbbmn. so shit is pretty alright.

>emotions are temporary
my depression has gradually worsened for 9 years
its literally been the only constant in my life

yeah I never liked therapy. never have, never will. it's just part of who I am. never liked the idea, and never will.

also it's a bit more than just depression, bud.

because i played it incredibly safe with asking her out the first time (to the point where she probably didn't even realize i intended it to be a date), and i'm intimidated by the idea of having to ask her out again, except more explicitly

I'm not that guy but is that really true? I have never been treated for depression but I've been to hospitals and other institutions many times and doctors generally don't give a shit about me, they just recommend some generic bullshit which usually doesn't work and I have to go hundred times because they keep fucking everything up and being wildly inconsistent.
From my experience (don't know how severe his depression is), you have to overcome it yourself.

who has money or healthcare to go to a goddamn therapist

is it normal to feel this lust for creation when you finish watching a good film/whatever? i cant just watch it and think "oh, that was enjoyable." -- i often fixate on certain creative decisions, what i would of done differently, explore the themes and think of ways i could interpret them, etc.

i often worry in life that i "could" feasibly come to terms/convince myself with settling down with your average "IT guy" job role, but sometimes the idea of sitting in an office environment, day-in day-out, frightens me. but it seems like the only viable choice nowadays. i want to make something of myself, not in the sense of making money/relationships/etc. im a very introverted person (dont wanna go into details, sorry if "mih introversion social shut-in is a lame cop-out), so raising a family or whatever isnt exactly a goal that would satisfy me. just something for me to be remembered by, that i actually did something. but i dont have a fucking clue what that something even is, and where i would even start. and right now, i need to get on with my life, i cant just sit here all day planning, fixating on ideal scenarios. life's getting away from me, well it already has in some ways i guess.

i dont know, this is prob a very common problem for people. i just dont want to make any rash decisions that i'll regret. years ahead of me, so many potential avenues. i dont wanna fail at the first hurdle. but this... waiting, its not healthy. these opportunities arent just gonna present themselves on a silver platter. "ive tried nothing everything works".

Nah senpai I'm fine with the hair

no

he said temporary, not instantaneous

After a couple weeks of severe depression I feel pretty good, nothing has changed so I think it's just chemicals balancing out.

Also a fat asian girl is gonna drive over and give me head later so thats always fun.

idk my dudes, just trying to help ya out. i know its hard to hang in there

do you have any connections with the girls other than this? if not then just ask her out again, you've got nothing to lose. and it doesn't have to be too explicit, just ask her if she wants to go to a movie or something, she'll get it

>therapist doesn't care enough to listen to my bandcamp or watch my youtube channel
>still go to her cause my parents want me to see someone and she's decent to look at, it's not like another one would have anything helpful to say
>tell her about my paranoid delusions
>she agrees they aren't unreasonable
>im failing half my classes right now, probably going to keep on doing that
>have to wait forever to go binge eat cause parents won't go to bed for hours
>the walmart has more security now and I probably couldn't steal cough syrup if I tried
>not working on anything cause I know I should be doing homework

Anyone got movie recommendation?

so is 9+ years of torment (if you will) worth another 50 years of mediocrity?

You're not alone mate, I hate the idea of a job without creative freedom. If you feel the need to create, definitely try to find a way to incorporate that into daily life

Do you have a link to your album? I'm feeling really shit about my life right now and I'd love to take a listen if you're comfortable with sharing

Potentially, but you're discounting the possibility of 50+ great years as well

>do you have any connections with the girls other than this?
yeah i know a couple other girls, but the one of them i want to date, i don't want to want to date her, if that makes sense

i think i've pretty much decided i will ask this girl out on a second date, but the question i'm currently debating is whether i'll do that the next time we run into each other (which could be a long ways off), or if i'm interested enough to create a situation in which to ask her out (we have a class together, but i'd have to change my routine to talk to her after it, and the idea of doing that has me terrified for some reason)

maybe someday, when i have my shit permanently under control.
I just dont trust myself.

Full Metal Jacket. Watched it for the first time a few days ago. The first half hit me hard. Also sorry about your situation user. I'll listen to your Bandcamp, but not until tomorrow morning. Give me the link and I'll start a thread to talk about it tomorrow.

inconsistency.bandcamp.com/album/sleep-dream-initiate
nothing spectacular, but it was my first effort. tracks #1,2 and 8 are decent. recorded some better stuff since then.

That's just americans, the real chill dudes (euros) are asleep now

do you have her phone number?
this is gonna sound lame but just ask to do something like a movie or go to a restaurant. if she's a nice person at all she'll say yes especially if it's the second date. and if she says no then you don't lose anything + you get experience for future dates.
i know you're probably nervous about doing it but just do it

nope
I one of the most boring and least driven people I know, which is saying something because I live in fucking Oklahoma haha

Good work user. I hope you continue on this path of self improvement.

europeans are fucking retards honestly

they have this unwarranted smugness that theyre cut from some finer cloth and time and time again prove that theyre completely incompetent when compared to Americans

>do you have her phone number?
yes but i feel like, for myself, it's almost more important for my self-esteem that i can look her in the eye and ask her out than it is that i actually get a second date/first mutually recognized date with her

...

I'd say do it in person for a first date, but for a second date it is totally normal for it to b over the phone. Just make it a call not a text.

Go out and do something with your life then man. If you don't really have anything to lose and your life doesn't seem to be going anywhere, change it. Go travelling or some shit. I know it's not easy, but it's actually a lot easier than it'll seem at the moment

that's a good step in the right direction, now you just need to do it. the absolute worst thing that can happen is that she says no and you feel embarrased but you also gain experience for future dates.

thanks but I dont want any else to associate my art with my pathetic life cause people will either think im entitled or get off on the compelete tragic watse whenthey realize what's occured

I feel like shit all the time. I'm so alone and I don't have any friends. I feel like crying because of the stupidest things and sometimes for no reason at all. I'm failing all of my classes because I can't concentrate and I just sleep all the time. I hate myself. I know I have to do something, but I just don't care anymore. Music is the only hobby I have left that I can maintain a halfhearted interest in.

So any recs, I guess?

deathconsciousness

This dude here I've been struggling, getting worse recently, and wondering what helped you get unstuck?
I usually have a beer, some weed every night, regularly smoke cigs. It's hard for me to give up because everyday is a fucking drag and I'm stressed throughout the day so it's nice to kick back at night and kinda block that out, but I've realized it's not healthy. I figure dropping those vices might help at least clear my mind a bit. Im having trouble getting those first few steps out.

There's honestly nothing wrong with texting someone to arrange a date, I don't see why you'd make a big deal out of that. We're not 16 any more (I hope).

Also don't go to the cinema, that's a lame date. Go somewhere where you can talk like a meal or drink.

Rodan - Rusty
Bluetile Lounge - Lowercase
Faraquet - The View From This Tower
Hood - Outside Closer
Karate - Unsolved

>dropping out of college this year
>most likely have to drop everything and move halfway across the US on a massive gamble for work
>super busy during the week day trying to arrange meetings and trying to find out what the fuck i'm doing exactly
>personal life slowly fading away as every hour i have is now allocated to making money

just waiting here until the frenzy starts again at 6:00am tomorrow

Dog I'm sure it's not that bad. And don't get down on yourself so much. You be in a rut, but that doesn't mean your life is pathetic. It just means you're having a trouble. Don't think I'm going to roast you like some 9 year old on a YouTube comment sections. I just shaved my head bald because I realized I could never be with a girl that I've obsessed over for 2 years.

I think your worrying about nothing then hes feelings are still hurt give him time and let the guy reach out to you
Rebound sex, rebound sex

Lad it's been nearly five years and we've been through loads since as friends. Maybe I'm overthinking it anyways D: yo la tengo really are great tho

rebound sex with who? i have no friends. i don't even want sex. i want to rot in a dark bedroom.

Nah I've texted girls for dates before. It's totally fine, but if I like the girl I call to make it more personal. I second not going to the movies. Not a lot of social interaction and kind of a waste of a date

>There's honestly nothing wrong with texting someone to arrange a date
i just feel like since i've known her for a few months (albeit we've never really hung out other than today), i should ask in person (also because i overthink/read too much into text messages)

that's what i tell myself, but the only time i've ever unambiguously asked a girl out, i got turned down, felt good about having asked for about a week, and then still didn't have the nerve to try again with any other girls

I feel like I live in a Modest Mouse lyric.

In a more general sense I'm not really doing the best, not the worst, but not the best. Just some gray middle area that doesn't inspire intense feelings of any sort.

Though some people said some very nice things about my album in today's Bandcamp thread, so that's got me feeling a little cheerier than normal.

who /emotionallydead/ here?

Keep at it man,

link to the album?

checking in. haven't felt anything besides this dull ache since 2013. can't say i didn't earn it, though.

you're not gonna get anywhere by never asking her. you're in a good place rn because you've already been on a date with her so it won't seem like it came out of nowhere.

idk dude i'm just trying to psych you up to do it, it's all about having enough confidence just to go out and give it a try. you've got nothing to lose, like i said