>Be me
>Be married with a girl for a year now
>I love her so much.
>But she is fat, getting morbidly fat.
>At the beginning she was just chubby but she’s now turning into a landwhale
>We stopped fucking a long time ago because I just can’t keep my erection with her. I have tried so hard Sup Forums.
>She gives me shit for not fucking her to the point that she is upset about everything. She is triggered by any little thing.
>As she is so dominant, she is a pain in the ass when I disagree with her on something, and when I decide to stop fighting for meaningless bullshit, she says I am running away and that I can’t stand up for something.
>I can’t leave her because I love her.
>I convinced her to pay a year membership in a local gym last winter.
>I go every day.
>She stopped going after 2 months.
>When confronted she always says “It’s a very delicate issue”.
>Pic unrelated.
What the fuck do I do, Sup Forums?
Be me
"I love you so very, very much, I wanna be with you forever, but I can't handle the fat."
There is no other sollution.
tell that fucking whale to lose weight or tell her you are gonna release her back in the ocean
Its not delicate at all, but I can understand not having the motivation when she isn't doing it for herself. I think food is the real problem OP, take charge of the groceries and dont buy takeaways.
>She gives me shit for not fucking her to the point that she is upset about everything. She is triggered by any little thing.
This is the best. Nothing better than a woman being mad at you for NOT fucking her.
She's gonna fucking cry and make it a huge fucking mess. I love her so much, but fuck.... her fat + her character are killing me.
Update: there is a friend of hers I like a lot and she likes me, we stare at each other since some weeks ago and everytime we go out we have this super nice conversations, but this girl is with some hipster faggot and I am married. It makes it all harder.
ALIMONY
L
I
M
O
N
Y
Man the fuck up.
People can say all the pc crap about accepting fat women they want. But the bottom line is it's fucking unhealthy and shows they have no willpower whatsoever. They can't even take care of themselves properly. That's something you don't want your (potential) kids to be influenced by.
>ALIMONY
Wtf no!, I can't even support myself properly.
one does not achieve happiness with a whale who has a attitude like a bitch and doenst want to lose weight, i mean like if she is morbidly obese she probably will get a heart attack an die man... you should really either dump her ( cause dont make children with the whale) or she should lose weight
This user knows...
ur fukd m8
If you want your children to grow up happy, strong, healthy and independent, don't date fat women.
DUMP HER
step 1: jerk a lot
step 2: jerk until u penis stretch
step 3: touch penis into ass hole
step 4: fuk uself
But I'm married, the shit started when she began eating like a pig without control. Yesterday night she ate a fucking mcflurry like it was the last shit on earth and I felt so god damn disgusted...
Time for an ultimatum user
> get /f/it or get /f/ucked
Yeah take charge of the god damn groceries and cook for her.
If you're making all the money don't give her any extra so she doesn't go binging on some shit food.
You have to sit her down and have a serious talk, not just make a few comments here and there.
If she just goes bazerk then leave her alone until she can speak like a normal human being. Why the fuck would you even marry someone as "dominant" (doesn't even sound dominant just sounds like she has low self esteem) as her?
Well you can put it differently. Tell her you are concerned for her health.
more like :
>get fit or don't get fucked
What happened around the time when she started binge eating?
Something has had to happen.
Maybe she's one of those idiots who thinks you can't leave her since you guys are married so she decided to just stop caring about herself cause you're gonna put up with it anyways.
Leave her, this is a the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I would like to refer you to my previous comment:
>Man the fuck up
touché
OP here, I mean, what I want is a way to make her loose fat without her noticing.
This could actually work if only she didn't keep me from doing it myself. We even had an arguing in the grocery store because she wanted some muesli with an insane amount of chocolate in it.
Be a fucking man take control of her eating and if she refuses then leave. Its really that simple, don't get sucked in by the sunk cost fallacy.
this
No other choise user
Walk away faggot.
You married a chubby dominant cunt and then you come here crying your eyes out when she turns into a cunty ham planet? The fuck did you think was gonna happen?
Get out now before you hump some beta babies into her and your stuck with that shit forever. Idiot.
Try to make better choices moving forward, start by moving forward with about 200lbs less of whining baggage.
Fucking dump her ass.
If she's not willing to improve her life, she's definitely not willing to improve yours.
That bond as a couple is not just support during the good and the bad; it's support through the times you want to change too
If she is unwilling to change then she doesn't love you. Move on.
Married almost 10 years, it takes considerable fucking effort on both sides.
Watched the preview. Woah, I need this in my life.
Any torrents around?
I dunno, we were just fine and then one day she started eating like a pig. She has daddy issues, tho.
you are fucked
should have never got married
i have no sympathy for idiots like you who still get married despite everyone advising against it
a hard head makes a soft behind
Fat is not just a physical attribute, it's a mental one. She's fucked, are you're fucked for trying to salvage it.
Try salvaging what's left of your life instead.
Bro, there is only one true path leading to happiness: honesty with others and yourself.
You're not happy with your wife? Tell her. Don't be a dick about it. She needs to know. Things don't change? She throws a tantrum? Leave her. You would never be happy being tormented by a warped parody of a woman you love.
It's going to be tough as fuck, but if you can't make the neccessery move, be it changing the girl you love, or leaving her, you're stuck with a nightmare forever.
And don't let her guilt trap you. You are not responsible for her life. She messed up, and if she can't handle it, it's her business.
I was in a very hard time and she kept me up. I liked her since years ago, and getting out of the friendzone was great, but before that she never showed herself that commanding.
All of this.
kek, thanks user.
Bruh if she PUT you in the friend zone, that there should have been the sign that she was commanding and viewed you as a dog that will always listen to her.
Well, as a matter of fact I even prepared a diet and workout plan for her. She never gave a fuck about it.
>"Honey. Look. I love you. I do. I wouldn't have married you otherwise. I wanna keep loving you. But you're getting to the point where I am -LEGITIMATELY- concerned for your health. As in, you're GOING TO DIE early or get some awful disease at this rate. We -NEED- to do something. Not just me, not just you, -WE- need to do something. Here's the plan."
>You give her a plan. A day-by-day diet, exercise, lifestyles plan. She eats less calories, she moves more to burn more calories. And she avoids the temptations that brought her down her current path.
>She agrees to it, you help her lose weight, you're both great.
>She disagrees or throws a huge fit
>"Okay. Well, I'm done. I'm sorry. I refuse to watch you kill yourself. I love you far too much for that, and you doing this to yourself is literally killing me to watch. I'm going to a lawyer to get the divorce papers tomorrow. I'm not sorry. I tried. Not just once, but many, many times. If -YOU- want to make this work, come see me. Otherwise, I'm going to *blank* until this blows over." Or if the apartment/house is yours, tell her you're going to set her up at *blanks*
You may love her, OP, but seriously, you're doing nobody a favor. She clearly doesn't love you the same, as she cannot make the changes you need. And your displeasure with her is only causing her problems in the bedroom and beyond too. She's obviously not the type of person to be coerced into a change with a simple discussion and facts. She either needs shock (threat of/divorce itself) or a serious plan to change. And if what you can offer her doesn't work, then clearly things are NOT healthy, are not good, and should not continue.
Tl;Dr: Threaten to divorce if she doesn't follow a strict plan. Do it if she doesn't. You're both unhappy with the relationship, you both refuse to change (Her to lose weight, you to accept her weight), there is no reason to stay together.
Ok but did you COOK the food?
Or did you just write something up and handed it to her and expect a fat lazy slob would listen
>Best advise so far
OP, this is your option.
Philosifag over here, wise words.
user you are such a fucking beta fag. Grow a pair and have a serious talk. I used to be overweight and now I am fit. The biggest difference is not exercise (although it helps a lot) but food portions. You need to eat less calories than you burn. Biking helps a lot, skateboarding, etc. Fat people can bike, just plan a bike trip every weekend. I ride my bike to school everyday (18). So there are ways to fix this. But if she is not willing to change, get out now. You have to take charge and be a man.
Option 2, I work 8-5 and I don't have time to cook for her.
It sounds like you have no kids.
Do you love her and want to stay with her? Make that decision. This, because the fat thing probably isn't going away.
Here's how to make the sex start again (I'm secretly a pedo (and a moralfag), and I am married to a wonderful woman and I make it work.)
1. Edge to porn a lot to build up interest. Do not let yourself cum.
2. Get boner pills.
3. Get some sex toys. At a minimum, look up the Cosmo sex toys list and get 1, 2, 13, & 14. You don't need to be erect to make that work.
How to try to make her more fit:
1. Tell her that you both could be healthier and thinner, and that you'd like to start working out together. Take long walks together. Maybe you can work up to runs, bikes, hiking, or swimming. Maybe you can work up to sports like tennis or rowing. Maybe you can work up to going to spin class.
2. It's time to watch calorie intake. Get on fitday dotcom or get a fitbit and use myfitnesspall or something
3. Tough love means "Honestly, the sex isn't happening because I don't feel like you see me as an equal partner, and I have some body issues with both myself and you. I'll try to work through it if you'll try also." If she says she'd rather break up with you, try to get an equitable separation now. It's more expensive when you're older and successful.
These two things are both worth doing.
Or? Give up. stay in an eventually loveless and sexless marriage, and just go on business trips where you can pay a hooker. Don't get caught cheating; divorce is expensive when you're at fault.
This is the best approach. If you stay with her and she stays fat, believe it or not you're gonna end up fat too, and if you have kids they'll be fat.
Prepare for a world of anger and guilt tripping headed your way, but this is a solid path forward.
These
OP you can't get her to do it alone. Most of the time these people need someone there to help them.
She can choose to be fat and sedentary. It's a free country and it's her life. You respect that.
Problem is, you can't choose to be attracted to fat. You can still love who she is and was, but your body can't lie and boner pills only get you hard; they don't get you interested.
Swimming is the best option. Take her swimming as much as you can. That shit is fun even to fat people
Had a friend in a position like you. He was a little chubs when he got married, but his wife was stunning. He wanted to work hard and lose weight to be the husband his new wife deserved.
In less than three years this tiny woman ballooned to over 300 lbs with him not far behind. Either get her to lose the weight or she'll get fatter and you'll end up fatass, too.
Why in the fuck would he want to start having sex with her again?!
We're looking for solutions here, lowering his already rock bottom standards isn't one of them.
Also better on her joints, the last thing you need is for her to start working out then get injured. Then she'll never try to get fit again.
>I love her so much
>her fat + her character are killing me.
How can you love someone when you don't like they're character, and aren't physically attracted to them?
I think you don't love her anymore. Leave her imo.
Get a vasectomy and a life insurance policy on her.
Then just let her kill herself. After which you'll be well enough off to take care of yourself and attract someone hot.
Change to a ketogenic diet, it's a high fat high protein diet she will drop weight fast
If your talk with her goes poorly? Make nice with her. Be a sweetie. Do everything kind you can. Buy her flowers.
And start secretly recording your serious conversations with her, keeping a diary, and taking any important valuables of yours that she won't notice and putting them somewhere else.
If you can get your marriage fixed, that's great, but you're only a year in. In adult years, that's not much. Statistically, you are in a failed marriage, probably, and the goal is to escape with as little damage as possible. Then you can be friends with her.
And maybe in five years you'll have a sexy female who is your soulmate, and you'll be saying that your ex (the current wife) introduced you.
I'm not even trying to fear-monger over "ZOMFG, TEH FATZ" or body politics.
It's simple facts. OP obviously does not like the way his wife looks anymore due her gaining weight. OP's Wife is unhappy with the fact that he's not attracted to her anymore. OP will not change, obviously. OP's Wife must decide to either make a change or not, and that will determine OP's decision.
OP is best off keeping to minimal contact with her after his declaration. While allowing her to vent is important, and listening to her concerns, OP is still human, and can be easily baited into arguments, agreements, and aggression with none of it in OP's favor more than likely. He should listen to what she has to say, but if none of it is an agreement to his plan, or an amendment he can accept to it, then there is no reason for him to listen to anymore of it than is necessary for the divorce proceedings, and that should really be done through lawyers, mostly.
This.
You loved who she made herself seem like. Not who she actually is
>a demanding slob
But ok, I want to do this But there is also a huge problem: her fucking family loves me so much and as a matter of fact is the only family I know, since mine sucks big time and are all on welfare but me. It's gonna be hard to leave them.
Now this is constructive!
I second the vasectomy, best decision I ever made.
Have you spoken to her family about the problem?
Are her family fatties?
If so they're maybe not the best source of help but if theyre regular people then give them a heads up before you talk to your wife. Then when she goes bitchin to her family crying because you told her she was too fat - hopefully theyll be able to back you up.
If not - well you can;t stay with your wife because you like her family. That's just creepo
Have your wife choose between being a landwhale or you.
If she chooses to be a whale dump her.
Fuck the hipster chick a few times to make up for lost boner time.
Dump her too.
Get on with your life.
No, It feels kinda weird
You're just fucking full of excuses, aren't you? Move on man. There's a lot of life left ahead of you, it's already going to be hard, don't make it harder by resigning yourself to being miserable.
Yes , most of them are kinda chubby.
Well you're already hitting the gym...
Now lawyer up and delete Facebook.
Oh man you have to see that cutie, she's just adorable, how i wish i was married to her. But hipster chad is in the middle.
urp.
Well, grab your balls and get to it.
Good luck. And if she rages record it and post here.
We know she wants sex and has self control issues. Does anyone consider this a recipe for cheating?
>how I wish I was married to her
>be married with a girl for a year now
>I love her so much.
Yeah you don't. Divorce her and move the fuck on Jesus Christ.
Did you guys do anything for your anniversary? Maybe that could have sparked things again.
Well, you've got another option then.
Talk to her family. Tell them you're concerned about her weight. Tell them she runs away from the problem, and you can't get across to her. You want to plan an intervention with them.
If they go through with it, great. If not, well, back to the plan.
You can't go into this with a pessimistic view. You can't go into it thinking shes' going to rage out and say no and you're going to "have to divorce her".
You have to go into this optimistically. That your emotion and feelings will get to her. That she'll understand YOU. That she'll understand that things have changed. She's changed. And you want to help her change back. With all luck, you won't be saying good bye to her family.
With crap luck, you will. But once again, is having that family worth the unhappiness? The fact of watching a woman you love(d) dying in front of your eyes? The displeasure you're inflicting upon her with an non-sexual relationship? Seriously. How would YOU feel if you changed in some way, and the person you were attracted to suddenly stopped being sexual with you? It's awful. And most people would make that change back. And if she does not want to make this change back, even with help and support, I'm sorry OP, but it's time to end this never-ending loop of sadness, disappointment, and sorrow.
Weirder than feeling that garbage-full-of-cottage-cheese that you call a wife underneath of you as you remorsefully flounder on top of her bloated body while trying to keep from dry heaving as you close your eyes and imagine yourself slipping into the void as you wiggle your flaccid cock inside of her flabby pussy?
Sounds like it.
Didn't think of it that way.
It's not that I'm full of excuses user, I'm just presenting the facts one by one: there is this girl I love (or at least I think I love) going into the oblivion of fat. There is this family I like a lot, and then there's this friend I like. I just come to the only home I know seeking for your advise, that's it.
Jesus Christ...
bla bla bla I didn't make this thread for 13 y/o reddit shitlords...
All the more reason to go for it then.
Besides, hipster chad is her problem, not yours.
Just be careful, if she decides to cheat she's good for a few fucks, but not much else.
Hell, if she decides to leave him just like that there's no telling when she might do the same to you.
Have moderate expectations, leave the beached whale, see if there is something with the other girl.
Not facts, truths.
It's your subjective interpretation, and that's the problem. A ton of guys are serving up solid advice but you're approaching from a sentimental place full of emotion. The smart money says offer an ultimatum and follow through on it. Or just save yourself the inevitable bullshit and just breeze out the door and go live your life.
If you felt this strongly about not marrying fat controlling women with daddy issues we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?
Channel that anger in a positive direction, like running in the opposite direction of the wife you live so much but kind stand.
*love so much but can't stand.
I'm so invested in this thread, whatchu gonna do OP?
I say run! Cut your losses and find a nice girl who respects you and will be a partner to you.
If she's fat and some other dude is willing to cuck you, that's fine. Also, secretly get (seriously; be careful and paranoid and don't get caught) one of those tests to see if some other dude's sperm is on her panties.
Because you're going to get divorced. It's going to happen. Either you'll get divorced equitably without alimony, or you'll get into a shitstorm court case. If it's a shitstorm? You want to have all the evidence on your side, you want all your shit safe from her (a stash of cash is always good), and you want her to be taken by surprise by the fact that you've been preparing.
Who hurt you, user?
Thread is dead
Good luck OP, no road is ever easy but you gotta keep moving forward.
I will have this convo tonight. After dinner
Thanks user
I know, and I'm glad. Just hard to get by with
I have 1 question
Are you a marine, because I know a girl like this and she's married to a marine.
Nah, I'm a financial analyst user. I wish I was a marine, tho.
You sound experienced, based user. What's your story?
Yeah we had a fancy dinner outside and I bought her presents, nothing special...
If you weren't married, I would say just move the fuck on. Generally speaking, no matter how much you love a girl you will get over them in time. But since you are married to said land-whale...... fuck man. You are screwed. Especially with her personality (as you've described it) if you leave I have no doubt she will anally rape you (figuratively - she will take all yo' money).
I actually have never had this problem, I've only really had 4 "serious" girlfriends, and 3 of them all got fat AFTER I dumped them. But one was chubby, and a similar attitude to what you have mentioned. So I definitely understand where you are coming from there, those types can be extremely difficult to reason with and talk to. Things that make sense to you will just be taken the wrong way by people like them, and then they use it to bitch about more issues, and snowball into a giant clusterfuck of a fight.
I seriously don't know what you can do Sup Forumsro I'm really sorry :(.
One user has mentioned you taking charge of groceries, that is certainly a good start. Personally I love to cook, so I have always cooked in my relationships, but I don't know about you. If you are like me then try prepare her meals, don't give in when she wants candy, chocolate and soft drink, and of course.... take away. Beyond that I really have nothing for you buddy. Sorry :/
Yeah. If you want to spend the rest of your life trying to control someone else, go right ahead. I personally wouldn't be happy with that scenario.
keep feeding her till she's catatonic then leave on a ship to Spain
so u love her like crazy but there is this little thing, her personality and her fat is absolute shit. i mean what else is there to love about a person if its not personality or the looks?
Get off the hook op and dont be afraid to be alone, you will find someone better.
Feelin you bro, im in the exact same situation